My first Silas relationship was one that cross pollinated (he and I served each other as Silases) despite the fact that we were not (yet - by a long shot) integrated into Samson Society. And this was because we weren't privy to it (this was 2010 / 2011 / 2012). Nonetheless, we knew exactly what we both wanted from the friendship for we were both struggling mightily with compulsive sexual sin (porn consumption).
Some veteran Jackson Mississippi Samson guys' musings, recommended resources, and Samson Society news / updates (all written by 100% Grade A - Human Intelligence)
Weekly meetings available to you are as follows:
Tuesday at 6:30 PM, Truitt Baptist Church - Pearl. Call Matt Flint at (601) 260-8518 or email him at matthewflint.makes@gmail.com.
Wednesday at 6:00 PM, First Baptist Church Jackson - Summit Counseling Suite - 431 North State St. Jackson. Call Don Waller at 601-946-1290 or email him at don@wallerbros.com.
Monday at 6:30 PM , Vertical Church - 521 Gluckstadt Road Madison, MS 39110. Mr. Roane Hunter, facilitator, LifeWorks Counseling.
Wednesday at 7:00 PM, Crossgates Baptist Church. Brandon Reach out to Matthew Lehman at (601)-214-4077 for further info.
Sunday night at 6:00 PM, Grace Crossing Baptist Church - 598 Yandell Rd. Canton. Call Joe McCalman at 601-201-5608 or email him at cookandnoonie@gmail.com.
Friday, September 23, 2022
Insinuating The Ultimatum / Rerun relationship
Saturday, September 10, 2022
Keep Them Emotions Underneath Your (Hairy?) Armpits (For Safekeeping)
My Silas is a profusive sweater. I wouldn't be privy to this factoid had he not volunteered the info, and even then, I'd likely not have acknowledged it 'till I witnessed it firsthand (our first rendezvous was at a local park on a typically muggy May morning in Mississippi).
My wife is similarly physiologically-wired relative to perspiration. And her dad was just the same. But, the difference (perhaps) in my wife and Silas' perspiration antics is hers is more often tied to anxiety. In other words, when she experiences anxiety, she sweats profusely. From there, she becomes that much more anxious (due to the embarrassment over the sweating), therefore she just sweats that much more.
It's the sweat cycle. And it is the weirdest thing. Thankfully none of my children inherited this, but I wouldn't be surprised if a few of my grandchildren aren't "blessed" with this supersweatiness.
Wednesday, September 7, 2022
Feeling Overlooked
As I believe I've mentioned in the past, my Silas and I have regularly scheduled face-to-face meetings throughout the month. One of these is a scheduled lunch and the other is a more intimate get-together at a local park (in the evening as it's too steamy during the day).
Friday, September 2, 2022
Denying Yourself & Making Faithfulness (To Christ) Your Highest Priority
Losing my campus architect job from Delta State University proved devastating to me emotionally. For it was an environment I found challenging, energetic and perfectly suited for someone of my professional skillset (plus it was my dad's alma mater). I cannot overstate here how satisfied I was with this administrative position. It was September of 2013 when the termination occurred, right around this time of year (late summer transitioning into early fall). Though I'd only been employed there for one year, I'd spent countless hours of overtime (mostly weekends) shoring up the position of Campus Architect (at the expense of my family / personal life), all of which had resulted in some needed stability / restored confidence within the Physical Plant.
Thursday, September 1, 2022
Freedom To Outmaneuver Political Extremists (Why I'll Likely Never Attend Another Face-To-Face - In Mississippi Or Anywhere Else - Samson Society Meeting)
I don't feel comfortable around political extremists. Especially within Samson Society. I realize that everyone has a right to their opinion on politics, and that the amount of time / energy they devote therein is their business, but these folks creep me out (& especially so if they're professing Christians).
Sunday, August 28, 2022
These Are Dangerous Times To Be Living Alone. Especially If You've Established A Perceived Anonymity Involving Both The Internet & Sexual Sin.
I love meeting new Samson guys. Hearing their stories and supporting them therein via my listening ear is what it's all about. There's no judgement there. It's all about simply listening, asking questions and listening some more. Perhaps eventually, they'll be a recommendation or two tossed from my lips, but those are always at a minimum (though I must admit their seeming authoritativeness can be off putting to some) until I feel so moved.
Wednesday, August 17, 2022
Partnership
Over the past few days, I've worked tirelessly (& I'm not exaggerating) to assist my wife (of 26 years) in preparing her mother's northeast Jackson home to be listed with a realtor. That entailed handyman and housework from morning 'till night within a mazelike 3,000 sf abode. An abode which more or less is just as it was whilst initially occupied by her family in the early '80s.
Saturday, August 13, 2022
My Friend's Nasty Refrigerator / Refusing To Take Emotional Responsibility / Emotionally Engage
I'm convinced that emotions are scary to Mississippians. At least white Mississippians. Black Mississippians not so much. As such, it creates quite the disconnect between the two races; for you have one that's marinating in emotional energy and the other who sees no use for / can't comprehend / would rather ignore it.
Friday, July 1, 2022
A Gesture Towards Putting Off Boyish Things
The Bible speaks of putting off "boyhood / childish things". Why?
Monday, June 27, 2022
Electricity
Platonic attraction is like an electrical current between two guys. Considering that, pride (& subsequently envy) will short circuit that charge instantly.
Monday, June 6, 2022
"I'm Fed Up With This Church / Pastor / Congregation!"
Here in Mississippi, there's a Protestant church on almost every corner, and this is especially true in the metro suburbs / small towns.
Why is this the case?
Churches are a dime a dozen here for numerous reasons, but one (typically unspoken) reason that can't be ignored is the infamous church-split.
Churches splitting or splintering can be quite the acrimonious affair. An affair that's often rooted in either theological, pastoral or stylistic dissonance amongst the parishioners.
Sunday, May 29, 2022
A Holiday Weekend To Listen (To My Wife)
The reason my wife fell in love with Rob was because I chose to listen to her. For I had not a straight bone in my body. Nor was I a hyper-competitive male looking to make my "first million" by age 30. Nonetheless, Angie didn't give a shit about those things. Instead, she became entranced with my interest in her / her state of mind / her hopes & dreams, etc. Why was this so important to her?
Wednesday, May 25, 2022
Very Personal. Private Blessings.
This is the year I turn 50. Going into '22, my goal was to take stock primarily of how God had blessed me through service to him. And I've done a good bit of that work, and it's been wonderful to look back.
Saturday, May 21, 2022
Let's Talk Samson - "Hyper-Independence"
Note from Stephen: Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing some short posts titled "Let's Talk Samson..." The following post below originated from the Samson Society Facebook page. Specific permission was obtained from the Samson Society in order for the Jackson Mississippi Samson Society blog to re-post and share the contents. The ideas and thoughts presented here originated via the Samson Society's Facebook Page, and permission has been granted to share both ideas and images via this blog. At the end, I will add my own personal commentary and reflection; these will be presented in bold, italic lettering to designate my personal views as they pertain to the original posting. ~ Stephen
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Children who
experience emotional or physical neglect learn to replace the deep craving for
connection with "not needing anyone."
It's an instinct to self-protect and is an effective
coping tool to survive an unsafe and/or painful environment.
Hyper-independence numbs the deep craving for love and
connection. It takes the pain of rejection, abandonment, sadness, and grief,
and transforms it into a perceived self-confidence:
▪ "I don't need anyone."
▪ "I can do this on my own."
▪ "Why let you in? Everyone eventually
leaves."
When we’re used, betrayed, or disrespected, it’s easy
for us to create the belief that we can’t rely on anybody else. We don’t want
to feel that pain ever again, so we protect ourselves by believing we can walk
on this world without the help of others.
This mindset leads to:
▪ taking on too much
▪ saying no to help
▪ having trouble with delegating tasks
We may think being on our own is much better than
letting people in, but what we’re really doing is closing ourself off to life.
This is why community, such as the brotherhood of
Samson, is vital to our journey of recovery, healing, and just "doing
life."
Stephen's Commentary:
I am not a fan of social media and partake of it sparingly. I am a very private person, and I thank the good Lord every day that I grew up in a day and age when social media wasn't even a word that existed in the vernacular of Americans. Still, social media does have its moments and it also has certain areas in which it demonstrates usefulness. One particular way that I have found social media to be useful is via the Samson Facebook page. A few weeks ago, I came across a post that stopped me dead in my tracks. Quite literally, it stopped me dead in my tracks and caused me to have to sit down and pause for a few moments. Very few things that I have ever read online have pulled a sucker punch on me like this post did. Many thoughts raced through my mind at once: "This is me...this is who I am...Whoever wrote this looked right through my hardened veneer into the depths of my soul...They get it...they understand...maybe there are others out there like me..."
I have always been a "hyper-independent" person. Until I read this Facebook post, I didn't realize that there was even such a term to describe someone such as myself. Through the work I've done over the past 6 years via Samson, I have been able to re-trace the steps back through my life to see exactly when and where I started down the path of becoming "hyper-independent." Prior to Samson, I didn't know how to begin this process, nor would I have even cared to! Being a "hyper-independent" introverted person is very painful at times. Even though I can be an extroverted-introvert (ambivert) at times, the "hyper-independence" within me still reigns strong. "Hyper-independent" is perhaps the strongest over-arching character trait that is present in my life.
Being "hyper-independent" is DANGEROUS. Being such a person usually means keeping everyone at arm's length. As a husband and father, "hyper-independence" still, at times, causes me to be withdrawn and emotionally unavailable to those who need me the most...my family.
Being "hyper-independent" is EXHAUSTING. Being a chameleon in order to demonstrate a wonderful "outward" appearance while often struggling internally is both mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Being "hyper-independent" is extremely LONELY. A few weeks ago, my son was very sick, and was hospitalized for a week in the local children's hospital. My wife never left his side and spent the week in the hospital with him. My days consisted of working half days and running back and forth to the hospital during the remaining time to take care of my family. At night, I was at home caring for my three dogs. Aside from a few people we told, I did not reach out to anyone. Even though I was mentally exhausted and emotionally drained by the end of the day, my "hyper-independence" caused me to not reach out to anyone and struggle alone with my fears and my thoughts. It was a rough week.
Being "hyper-independent" is not who I want to be. Above, I have included a screenshot of the original post. The words I have highlighted in yellow describe me. That is Stephen. And I need help moving past that. But my "hyper-independence" assures me that I do not. I need people who will continue to convince me of the need to abandon my desire for "hyper-independence." ~Stephen
Children who experience emotional or physical neglect learn to replace the deep craving for connection with "not needing anyone."
It's an instinct to self-protect and is an effective coping tool to survive an unsafe and/or painful environment.
Hyper-independence numbs the deep craving for love and connection. It takes the pain of rejection, abandonment, sadness, and grief, and transforms it into a perceived self-confidence:
▪ "I don't need anyone."
▪ "I can do this on my own."
▪ "Why let you in? Everyone eventually leaves."
When we’re used, betrayed, or disrespected, it’s easy for us to create the belief that we can’t rely on anybody else. We don’t want to feel that pain ever again, so we protect ourselves by believing we can walk on this world without the help of others.
This mindset leads to:
▪ taking on too much
▪ saying no to help
▪ having trouble with delegating tasks
We may think being on our own is much better than letting people in, but what we’re really doing is closing ourself off to life.
This is why community, such as the brotherhood of Samson, is vital to our journey of recovery, healing, and just "doing life."
Stephen's Commentary:
I am not a fan of social media and partake of it sparingly. I am a very private person, and I thank the good Lord every day that I grew up in a day and age when social media wasn't even a word that existed in the vernacular of Americans. Still, social media does have its moments and it also has certain areas in which it demonstrates usefulness. One particular way that I have found social media to be useful is via the Samson Facebook page. A few weeks ago, I came across a post that stopped me dead in my tracks. Quite literally, it stopped me dead in my tracks and caused me to have to sit down and pause for a few moments. Very few things that I have ever read online have pulled a sucker punch on me like this post did. Many thoughts raced through my mind at once: "This is me...this is who I am...Whoever wrote this looked right through my hardened veneer into the depths of my soul...They get it...they understand...maybe there are others out there like me..."
I have always been a "hyper-independent" person. Until I read this Facebook post, I didn't realize that there was even such a term to describe someone such as myself. Through the work I've done over the past 6 years via Samson, I have been able to re-trace the steps back through my life to see exactly when and where I started down the path of becoming "hyper-independent." Prior to Samson, I didn't know how to begin this process, nor would I have even cared to! Being a "hyper-independent" introverted person is very painful at times. Even though I can be an extroverted-introvert (ambivert) at times, the "hyper-independence" within me still reigns strong. "Hyper-independent" is perhaps the strongest over-arching character trait that is present in my life.
Being "hyper-independent" is DANGEROUS. Being such a person usually means keeping everyone at arm's length. As a husband and father, "hyper-independence" still, at times, causes me to be withdrawn and emotionally unavailable to those who need me the most...my family.
Being "hyper-independent" is EXHAUSTING. Being a chameleon in order to demonstrate a wonderful "outward" appearance while often struggling internally is both mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Being "hyper-independent" is extremely LONELY. A few weeks ago, my son was very sick, and was hospitalized for a week in the local children's hospital. My wife never left his side and spent the week in the hospital with him. My days consisted of working half days and running back and forth to the hospital during the remaining time to take care of my family. At night, I was at home caring for my three dogs. Aside from a few people we told, I did not reach out to anyone. Even though I was mentally exhausted and emotionally drained by the end of the day, my "hyper-independence" caused me to not reach out to anyone and struggle alone with my fears and my thoughts. It was a rough week.
Being "hyper-independent" is not who I want to be. Above, I have included a screenshot of the original post. The words I have highlighted in yellow describe me. That is Stephen. And I need help moving past that. But my "hyper-independence" assures me that I do not. I need people who will continue to convince me of the need to abandon my desire for "hyper-independence." ~Stephen