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Monday, October 12, 2026
Sunday, October 11, 2026
Weirdo Commitment
The most disappointing Samson "National Retreat" for Rob was one of the first, if not the first, I ever attended. The year was likely 2017, and it was during the autumn month of November. The setting was a state park in middle Tennessee (not too far outside of Nashville). Originally, this "National Retreat" was touted as a "Samson leadership retreat" with the focus being Samson brothers interested in / currently hosting meetings.
The reason for this was the primary focus of this particular national Samson event was to introduce the notion of launching virtual Samson meetings via Zoom or whatever platform was available back in the day (2018).
The disappointment came from who I ended up having to room with (we were housed in a motel wing that was attached to the State Park Lodge building). At the very last minute, a certain in-person Samson brother agreed to attend (at the behest of my Silas), and off the four of us went. Upon our arrival, I swallowed my anger and compliantly chose to room with this loser.
It's actually quite commendable that I ever returned after this frustrating National Samson Retreat. Especially considering that everyone else within the local Samson community hung up their hats - mostly for good - pertaining to this annual event. Which, of course, left me on my own to attend throughout the years going forward.
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Over the past two years, I've taken control of my roommate situation (I gave up on the bunkhouses in '23), but last year resulted in me quickly realizing that year two would be it for me and a similarly unique (weirdo) Samson brother (from the Deep South) sharing sleeping quarters.
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4-5 years ago, a dear friend (he being more close to me than I to him) from GA drove over to Eva, TN, having agreed to attend that year's National Retreat. He chose to stay offsite in some sort of state park cabin. I came to find out later that he spent the majority of his time at the cabin texting / talking to his wife in light of him being far more comfortable with her than (strange, foreign) Samson guys (or really any guys, for that matter). What a disappointment it was to find that out.
Nonetheless, we remained friends until earlier this year.
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When I was a high school student, I was active in our church's youth ministry. And I was so because I immediately understood its finite specialness (very, very few adolescents had access to what I was privileged to be a part of). Therefore, every summer, attending the youth summer trip was nonnegotiable for Rob. Specifically, I did this because I knew there were only so many opportunities therein. Because I was such the anomaly within that group (persona, school, demographic), I often ended up assigned to summer trip room with the other freaks. And I grew to love it. They were so much fun to bunk with! Plus, there's simply always been a place in my heart for the inevitable weirdos.
My wife was one of those. That's one of the many reasons I was attracted to her as both a friend and a lover. She was just so weird (& thankfully still is).
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At last year's Summit, in light of my then desire to find "a new roommate direction" going forward, I took it upon myself to plan WELL IN ADVANCE of '26 by hastily asking a new friend (who I met during the first day at the NM Summit) about rooming together in '26. What was hysterical regarding this desperate attempt was my new friend was an exceedingly obvious cool kid (great looking, upper class demographic, straight, etc.) who was not at all comfortable committing as such so far in advance (much less with Rob)!
Thankfully, earlier this year, my (weirdo!) Silas agreed to take this big man on campus' position. This will amount to such the blessing.
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I'm excited too about visiting Michigan. I love and have almost always loved automobiles. Visiting Motor City will no doubt be a treat in that regard. Too, traveling through Ann Arbor (home of Car & Driver) will be special and symbolic.
Attending the Samson Summit this year will represent a true leveling up for Rob. Partly because Samson is at a juncture that's destined to position itself well for another decade (at least), and having embraced the virtual community to the degree that I have (since December '21), I feel 100% "part of the team" versus the gay guy from Mississippi who's only involved due to his internal dedication / commitment.
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A month or so ago, I had a Samson brother decouple from me as his Silas. And though that's not unusual / inevitable, due to our VERY short tenure as Silas / Silee, I have to admit that it was jarring. And especially so from the standpoint that I'd been experiencing (immediately prior to his decoupling) an annual (vocational) stress / shame conundrum (2+2=5).
This brother was no doubt hiding something to have aborted, but it still felt like a "this is all my fault" gut punch. Silas / Silee relations need to gestate properly in order for the true benefits / measured latitudes to be reaped. Nonetheless, between the two of us, that simply wasn't to be.
Last night, out of the blue, I was asked to be the Silas of a man I haven't spoke with since late summer. He happened to be part of one of my newcomers meeting "classrooms" earlier this year, and though we'd only had one follow up meeting (at my request due to his unique roots), there was zero commitment going forward. And this young man is absolutely out of my league, yet due to my sincerity / care, that seems to be of no consequence. As such, I'm hopeful going forward for connecting with a man who's that much potential truly is breathtaking to think through.
I'm very blessed to be a part of this parachurch ministry. It's very exhausting but never not worth it. For me, it truly feels / demands similarly as family does.
Only Two Days Left! Don't Miss The 2026 Samson Summit.
The clock is ticking!
We're down to the final 48 hours to register for the 2026 Samson Summit in Grass Lake, Michigan! If you've been thinking about joining us, now is the time to make it happen.
This year's Summit, Written in Grace, is an invitation to see your story through a different lens—not through shame, regret, or the things you wish you could change, but through the transforming power of grace.
We're gathering for a weekend of honest conversations, meaningful connections, laughter, encouragement, and the kind of authentic brotherhood that makes Samson so special.
Here's what you can look forward to:
John Lynch, our keynote speaker, sharing his powerful message of grace and authenticity.
Josh Bales, bringing music that invites reflection, connection, and worship.
Meaningful sessions exploring our stories, recovery, and the freedom found in grace.
Opportunities to connect with brothers from across the country—both familiar faces and new friendships.
Time to step away from the noise of everyday life and experience the gift of being fully known and accepted.
Don't let another year pass wishing you'd made the trip. There's something different about being in the room, sharing meals, having conversations that continue long after the sessions end, and experiencing brotherhood face-to-face.
If you've been waiting for the right moment to commit, this is it.
Registration closes in just TWO DAYS.
Can't join us in person? Register for the virtual Summit, sponsored by Covenant Eyes, and receive five bonus sessions as a free gift!
Friday, October 9, 2026
Four More Days To Join Us In Michigan
If you’ve been thinking about coming but haven’t registered yet, now is the time.
This year, we’re gathering around the theme Written in Grace—an invitation to look at our stories differently. Not through the lens of shame, failure, or the things we wish we could rewrite, but through the grace of a God who has been present in every chapter.
The Summit is more than a lineup of speakers and sessions. It’s time away with men who understand the road you’re walking. It’s conversations that continue long after a session ends. It’s laughter, shared meals, time outdoors, and the opportunity to deepen the friendships that make recovery something we don’t have to do alone.
John Lynch will join us as our keynote speaker, along with a great lineup of men who will challenge us to see our stories, our recovery, and God’s grace in new ways.
If you can get yourself to Michigan, we’d love to have you there.
Four days remain. Register today and join your brothers at the 2026 Samson Summit.
Come as you are. See your story through grace. Find your brothers.
We’ll see you in Michigan.
Can't join us in person? Register for the virtual Summit, sponsored by Covenant Eyes, and receive five bonus sessions as a free gift!
Thursday, October 8, 2026
Wednesday, October 7, 2026
The "No Bull Briefing" - The Monthly Newsletter of The Samson Society
Keep Your Eye on the Ball
October is a dangerous month for a man like me.
The baseball postseason is here, college football is in full swing, and the NFL has found its stride. On top of that, we're one month out from the midterm elections. Every screen in the house is offering something to get worked up about. For a guy who has always been good at getting worked up, that is a lot of temptation.
I'll confess something. During my years of active addiction, I was one of the best-informed men in America. I knew the batting averages, the point spreads, the polling numbers, and the latest outrage from whichever politician was annoying me that week. Talk radio and sports radio ran in my car, my office, and my head all day long. I could tell you exactly what the manager should have done in the eighth inning and exactly what was wrong with Washington.
What I couldn't tell you was what was going on in my own life. That part I didn't want to look at.
Looking back, I don't think all that listening was really about sports or politics. It was a hiding place. As long as I was furious about a blown call or a bad vote, I didn't have to think about the lies I was telling, the marriage I was neglecting, or the secret that was slowly eating me alive. I was a passionate man. I just aimed my passion at everything except the things I could actually change.
That's the trick, isn't it? The things we get most worked up about are often the things we control least. My opinion about a referee has never changed the outcome of a game. My vote matters, and I cast it, but it isn't going to swing an election by itself. And a man can find a way to put money on Saturday's game while losing something far more valuable at home: his attention to his wife, his kids, his brothers, and his own soul, one moment at a time.
So here's my suggestion for this October, brothers. Enjoy the games. I'm going to. Pay attention to the issues and go vote. I'm doing that too. But let's be careful about where we spend our passion, because recovery takes all the passion we've got. The daily work of honesty, prayer, and showing up for each other doesn't make the highlight reel, but it's the only game we're actually playing in.
And let's be especially careful with our fellowship. There's nothing wrong with talking sports or politics with your brothers. Some of my best friendships have survived a lot of trash talk. But that conversation can't come first. When we check in with each other, the first questions should still be the real ones: How are you, really? What are you not telling me? What's going on at home? Then we need to shut up and listen to the answer.
Our country is splitting along political lines, and I don't want the Samson Society to do the same. The man across the table from you may vote differently than you do. He may even root for the wrong team. But he's fighting the same battle you are, and you need him. He needs you too. That bond is worth far more than any argument you might win.
I don't want to tune out the world. I just never want to lose focus again. I've been the guy who knew every score and missed his own life, and I'm not going back.
Keep your eye on the ball, brothers. The right ball.
— Nate
Don't Watch This One from the Stands
If you're looking for something worth getting passionate about this October, here it is. The 2026 Samson Summit is October 23–25 at Faholo Conference Center in Grass Lake, Michigan, with an optional bonus day starting Thursday, October 22.
John Lynch will teach four sessions, joined by Sam Black, Aaron Porter, and me. There will be small groups, walks with a brother, campfires, and a Saturday-night concert with Josh Bales. Lodging and all meals are included. Most of all, it's a weekend away from the noise, face to face with men who are fighting the same fight you are.
Last day to register to join us in person is Monday, October 12. That's days away, not weeks. Don't wait.
Register for the Samson Summit today
Too far to travel? Join the livestream, presented by Covenant Eyes, and receive 5 free bonus pre-recorded workshops. Registration closes for the virtual livestream on October 21.
Worried about cost? Partial scholarships of 25%, 50%, or 75% are available, so money shouldn't keep you home. Request a scholarship here.
And if you're able, you can help a brother by funding a scholarship.
A Bigger Table: Imagining the Samson Council
A few weeks ago, I asked for volunteers to help us think through the formation of a Samson Council. A lot of you raised your hands—which was encouraging, although it created the pleasant problem of having more volunteers than chairs around the virtual table.
The Working Group
I wanted to keep the actual Working Group small enough to have a real conversation, so after checking everyone’s availability I selected nine men, shooting for a mixture of virtual and in-person meeting experience, North American and European perspectives, longtime Pirate Monks and some newer voices. Those men are: Jamie Manship, Keith Hudgins, Spencer Morris, Dave Otto, Don Williamson, Mark Garratt, Mark Whitlock, Greg Redmond, and Luke Ramsay.
I’ll serve as convener. This group will meet for the first time on October 18, via Zoom.
The Consultation Group
Just as important, I asked the rest of the design volunteers to serve on a larger Consultation Group that will react to the smaller group’s ideas, point out things we’ve missed, and occasionally save us from ourselves. David Gregg, Storm Myer, Bill Musall, Kyle Free, Jeremy Young, Andrew Ralph, Darren Hoelzer, Nathaniel Pinson, Sidney Sherrill, Justin Chizmar, Neil Bergeron, Blake Hendrickson, Lorne Williams, David Clark, Paul Clay, and Luke Stevens will serve on that group.
Many thanks to every one of these men for volunteering their time and perspective.
If I have overlooked or forgotten a volunteer, please shoot me a text at 615-438-8308.
One important clarification: none of these men has just been appointed to the Samson Council. There isn’t a Council yet. The working group’s job is to create the initial design for one—what it should do, whom it should represent, how members should be selected, and how it can give the Society a meaningful voice without creating another layer of bureaucracy.
This is a short-term assignment and the beginning of a process, not the end of one. The working group will consult with the larger team as ideas develop, and we’ll keep the whole Society informed along the way.
We’re not disappearing into a room with white smoke coming out of a chimney. We’re just trying to figure out, together, what a genuinely representative Samson Council ought to look like.
--Nate Larkin
Exclusive Opportunity for the Men of Samson Society
LifeWorks is hosting a 3-Day Men’s Clinical Intensive for Sexual Brokenness on November 13–15, 2026, led by Roane Hunter, Sr., LPC, CSAT-S, and Roe Hunter, LPC, CSAT.
This is focused clinical work, not simply another retreat. LifeWorks describes the three-day intensive as providing the equivalent of approximately 8–12 months of weekly counseling and as a way to jumpstart or deepen recovery. Participants also complete pre-work assessments through IITAP.
Dates: November 13–15, 2026
Cost: $2,000, including lodging and meals
Deposit: $500 non-refundable
Payment plans are available
This does not replace the ongoing community and recovery work of Samson Society. It is an opportunity for men who are ready to go deeper into the wounds, behaviors, and relational patterns underneath sexual brokenness.
If you keep finding yourself running into the same wall in recovery, this may be worth considering.
Information and registration
Please feel free to share this with another Samson brother who may benefit.
Tuesday, October 6, 2026
Is It Worth It? / Wiener Think / Realizing Recovery Is One's True Identity
It is worth it (for your wiener's sake)? Specifically, is it worth it for that wiener dangling between your legs? Circumstances being what they are, often times, in light of the explicit pursuit, it most definitely is.
Read on.
I attended the 2026 Mississippi Book Festival a few weekends ago, and had the privilege to end the day listening (I was in the minority as a male attendee) to Ms. Belle Burden discuss here runaway tome, Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage. She detailed (read aloud, for perhaps the umpteenth time) a portion of her memoir that is one of the most popular. That being the verbiage detailing the public (to his wife & two daughters) declaration that her husband was no longer happily married and therefore demanding a divorce. There within the Methodist Church Sanctuary, her amplified voice released the dry-as-a-bone few paragraphs to the audience as the moderator's countenance winced dramatically. I must say that it was a heady, clinical descriptor, beautifully summarizing her and her children's now difficult plight as their shafted position of rejection instantaneously took root.
Towards the end of her session, Ms. Burden was asked (audience Q & A) if she'd ever marry again. She stated only if "he and I could live in separate apartments". The resulting laughter was no doubt nervously somber / low key.
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Yesterday, (10/3) YouTube's algorithm brought me to a West Hollywood ("The Gay Therapist") therapist who was interviewing a young man (supposedly a former Mormon) who'd painfully, despondently, victoriously(!/?/!) embraced the homosexual lifestyle. The therapist was totally oblivious towards the Mormon church (as are many who're outsiders therein), therefore his interrogation was laughably inept.
What was clear was how much the young (very handsome) ex-Mormon had walked away from in light of his gay horniness / wiener, and not only in relation to his church but his heritage / pedigree. He made that exceedingly clear. For he proudly articulated how faithful he'd been to his beliefs / Mormon culture (graduating from BYU, undergoing a 2-year mission) until he wasn't.
But hey, he did get to have gay sex...in the end. And arguably, there's no more intense (wiener) sexual "lifestyle" than the gay one (particularly when you're young, horny and very physically attractive).
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Feeling that tingle or dick itch, as I like to call it, is a powerful motivator. Think of it as wiener think.
Whether you abandon your wife / children whilst residing within your multi-million-dollar (second) home on Martha's Vineyard, your faith / heritage as a deeply religious man, squander your conscience / professional credentials as an employer / employee and on and on, the answer to the question is a resounding YES! outside of the ethos of who you truly are as a man.
But what's at work here?
I believe in all three of these cases, mundanity plays a sizable role along with the (often) oversimplified risk / reward dynamic. And who can forget the unequivocal male need for respect (both self & otherwise)?
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The Heart single (Brigade album) from the '90s proclaims "All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You". The song, written for Don Henley (by Mutt Lange), makes much more sense therein versus being performed via Ann & Nancy Wilson. Why?
Because it's worth it for men to behave this way. 100% worth it. Even if they have to fabricate the desire (hire a prostitute).
Women, on the other hand, embrace security. Feelings of security don't emanate from the clitoris. And no woman (in her right mind) would stop to pick up a hitchhiker at night, during a rainstorm, prior to taking him to a motel to just fuck before slipping out the next morning to continue forward with her life.
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Whilst serving as an employee, whether in the private or public sector, so long as gay porn was available for me to dabble in throughout the workday, I would make time to consume those images. Why?
I did this for the same (but perhaps, arguably "safer") reason(s) the men cited above did what they did.
Except in my case, the images were so stunningly, illusively vicarious. Particularly whilst looking back on my middle-school years and how they served to bridge between the then (non-explicit) and now (explicit). And oh my gosh were they ever explicit!
As such, the pull felt impossible to resist. And yes, I hoped to get caught just as Mr. Davis anticipated making that jaw-dropping speech to his then attorney wife, Belle Burden / the young Mormon BYU student burst forth via all that pent up homo-energy.
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What's really frightening though about all of this wiener thinking / neediness is how much a gamble it is to deduce which, if any, of these men will regain the disciplined self-control that separates us / them from the four-legged kind of God's creation.
And what might bring that about, ultimately?
I'll share one thing with you that absolutely won't. Anger. Low, simmering anger. Towards others, God, oneself.
Ms. Burden's tome certainly didn't / won't help matters between these ex-eses. Nor will sitting in for YouTube interviews with (clearly) ill-prepared / deeply biased interviewers.
An immense, solidly gut-wrenching sense of defeat is what did it for me. Combined with someone I deeply respected looking me straight in the eye and passing demonical judgement. In other words, there was no cheering section for Rob / proverbially optimistic naysayers. I was utterly alone and without hope.
And yet, my wiener think really hadn't resulted in any major relational injury. I knew this deep down. I hadn't physically cheated nor pivoted away from my beliefs. No one got hurt but Rob, in the end. But therein lay the deep-seated singular finality of it all. For hurting Rob wasn't / isn't at all easy (it's one of the primary strengths enabling me to become an architect). Until September 2013 rolled around.
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Last night, I dreamed I was back in architecture school, yet the building was not the one I haunted either in Starkville or Jackson (MSU: '90 - '95). This was a new space with unfamiliar, much younger (perhaps I was young too) colleagues. And the dream was so very vivid that whilst awaking, I was so very relieved to realize that "it was just a dream!" (I felt woefully unprepared to go back to school).
And I have these sorts of dreams too, very often, about returning to my former (private sector) architecture firm employer ('96 - '06). Again, I literally feel as if I'm choking on the panic I'm experiencing therein due to the vividity and familiarity.
Why?
Because it was just a huge misunderstanding. Somehow there'd been a reverse time jump (or somesuch), and here I was again.
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Samson Society, ultimately, became my mistress. My relationship with this ministry was / has become tantamount to every gay sexual voyeuristic consumption only sanctimoniously / properly filtered through a Judeo-Christian hierarchy (The Fact, The Path, The Pact).
Returning to that state of immense loneliness is such the ill-equipped notion that I'd not even know where to begin.
Monday, October 5, 2026
Get Ready for the 2026 Samson Summit: Shirts, Journals, Volunteering & More
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And this year, we’ve added something new: a 
Our friends at Covenant Eyes are helping make this year’s Summit possible, including sponsoring the 2026 Virtual Samson Summit. As a special thank-you for attending the Summit in person, Covenant Eyes is also providing attendees with a promotional code for 
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