I'm convinced that emotions are scary to Mississippians. At least white Mississippians. Black Mississippians not so much. As such, it creates quite the disconnect between the two races; for you have one that's marinating in emotional energy and the other who sees no use for / can't comprehend / would rather ignore it.
Close, interdependent relationships (family / friends) should be an inevitable encounter within this life, and there's no getting around the fact that such the degree of closeness will bring with it emotions of every ilk. For all human beings, white or black, experience emotions, and all human beings are designed for community. All of that is God breathed. Emotions are signposts and litmus tests. In summary: immensely valuable brain energy that's best rationally respected versus ignored outright.
Let's think of these necessary interdependent relationships as staples within a refrigerator. Items like milk, eggs, cheese that are consistently being moved in and out (as they're replenished and otherwise) of the icebox for usage. Over time, inevitably, the inside of the fridge can get cruddy due to the movement, organization and the inevitable reorganization. Not to mention that some of the packaging may be leaky or fail completely. If this is the case, because the cruddy residual is also being kept cool, it doesn't necessarily begin to stink. But it does look (& feel) really bad. To the point that it's undeniable yet still lazily ignorable (behind closed doors / out of sight / out of mind).
People aren't perfect. Especially whilst trying to engage communally. Everyone's within their own unique container, therefore preeminent weak spots abound. Certain individuals get moved about much moreso than others, and on the flip side of that, it's inevitable that there're those who get forgotten about due to their benign location / packaging.
The weight of supporting others can deform or even crush. Despite what may look fresh, spoilage can be therein. Neglect / assumptions often have consequences.
And finally, certain items effectively contaminate by simply being introduced and "leaving well enough alone".
It's all quite the complicated affair.
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Years ago, we had dinner with one of my oldest friends (from my college days). I vividly recall helping myself to a beverage refill, and as such, couldn't help but notice the absolute filth within their refrigerator. It was unlike anything I'd seen prior. Even taking into account refrigerator filth (housemates) from my college days. I remember telling Angie during our drive home about my friend's disgusting refrigerator. Interestingly enough, the make model of their appliance was the exact same as ours, yet the contrast in cleanliness was striking. Yet, all of that dried gunk was being preserved just as the staples were thanks to the space BOTH were residing within. Hence, I suppose, this family saw no real reason to take the time to empty out the appliance and wipe down the interior in spite of its shocking state.
We've all heard of self-cleaning ovens. They're ovens that have programmed cycles which incinerate spilled / splattered gunk. Once the cleaning cycle is complete, all you're left with is ashes to sweep / vacuum out.
Refrigerators aren't like that because they're never turned off. Plus, their primary purpose is to maintain a set, slightly above freezing temperature.
I can remember hearing of college roommates inadvertently leaving a sizable bag of frozen shrimp behind (post spring semester) within their apartment freezer (above the refrigerator). Unbeknownst to them, the landlord cut the electricity to the apartment for a week or so over the summer sans checking the contents of the apartment-grade refrigerator / freezer. Obviously, this spelled the appliance's demise as the shellfish rotted away inside prior to being refrozen. Yuck.
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Mississippians, overall, live here because of their families and their faith (plus the winters are relatively balmy). Otherwise, their choosing is simply rooted in dramatically lowest cost of living combined with ignorance. Overall, our state is shrinking; with each passing decade, individuals leave for greener pastures. I'm convinced this is partly the case due to the aforementioned emotional extremes that cannot be ignored here.
Kaka Ray talks an awful lot about finding / pursuing healthy ways to regulate the brain. If I'm understanding her correctly, she's referring to equalization (balance) between both the left and right hemispheres. To me, this speaks to giving equal weight to both the pragmatic and emotional makeup of ourselves. And the key word here is giving.
Kaka talks about technique to encourage this giving, and so often, she justifies those techniques within the framework of maturity.
And that's one of my most favorite words. (Certainly not one you hear often in Mississippi.)
So the question comes down to whether or not individuals who reside outside the boundaries of Mississippi are more mature than we are. I have to believe they are, and this draws many out of the Magnolia State in droves.
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As far as I know, Bob & Darlene (my parents) have never kissed, held hands or hugged (based on my observation as their only child). Growing up amongst these kindhearted cardboard people was sterile to say the least. Nonetheless, there was little to no recourse needed for spilled milk / leaky egg cartons due to the fact that there were none available to choose from. Overall, other than one lone box of baking soda, the SHARED familial refrigerator remained empty. As such, we did each have our own minifridges to work with (for survival).
My upbringing was as independent from my parents as it - within reason - could be. Interaction was polite and respectful as if at any moment circumstances might change for the worse for one of us.
Have you ever seen the film Reservoir Dogs? From what I remember (I screened it decades ago), it's a heist / hostage flick, carried out by a group of white men, none of which know anything substantial (real) about the other. And this includes each other's names. This emotional detachment is supposed to work in their favor relative to the risks they face as they carry out their gruesome, terrorizing crimes.
The Islamic terrorists who carried out 9/11 had to have used similar techniques of loyalty derived from this notion of austere independence.
It's weird looking back on my growing up years relative to this, but I simply didn't know any better. It wasn't like I had anything substantial to complain about, though as I matured into a man, there was no doubt that something was terribly off.
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It's ironic to admit to this, but my aforementioned friend (with the nasty refrigerator) and his wife put little to no value on regulation. They're no doubt poster children for typical white Mississippians. And I harbor no ill will / bias against them as such, but I do pity them. For I believe (& have seen firsthand) there's so many poor choices / missed opportunities / misaligned priorities as a result. Again, signposts / litmus tests are to be effectively accounted for and respected.
Here in Mississippi, you truly are within a bit of an inbred disregulated environment where gossip reigns supreme.
Bless our hearts.
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