Samson Society - The No Bull September Briefing

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING September 2020

Whoa, Nellie! There's COVID In Them Thar' Hills!! Due to the ongoing Covid restrictions in the foreseeable future, the Spring Cruise of '21 will have to wait for '22. Basically we have found it difficult to get venues to commit to a date on the calendar (many churches are still shut down or severely restricted). The domino effect from there makes it a no-go, at least for coast-to-coast in Spring of '21. However, we are trying to salvage a pared-down version of the tour, sans large group venues. Yes, Covid sucks. Currently the plan is to get the boys (Nate, Aaron, and Tom) out to key cities where we have multiple groups or large numbers of Pirate Monks. Our goal is to get the word out about Samson Society in this age of Covid, encourage men fed up with isolation, and have the usual rollicking good time with each other. We'll keep you posted. Updates and cruise communications: samsoncruise21@gmail.com Samson Slack Channel: #samson_cruise_21 What About the Retreat??  We're Still ON, But ... It's FULL Registrations for this year's annual Fall Retreat have been brisk, to say the least. That, combined with Covid-compliance limiting our numbers, means this year's retreat filled up almost as soon as we opened registration. Soooo, We're Planning A Virtual Retreat for Nov. 20-21 That's right, a virtual retreat! All the same speakers, breakout groups with live discussion, and even a live Samson meeting. All the fun of a regular Samson retreat, sans the bottomless cups of coffee, hugs and firepit. We will be sending out a special email with details for registration and log-on instructions. New Online Silas Training Course Everyone needs a Silas, and everyone can be a Silas. However, many guys who've had a positive Silas relationship really want to be a good Silas themselves but don't feel up to the task. Being a Silas is simply a matter of being authentic, a good listener, and available. Our new Silas Training Course is a quick, four-part video series featuring Samson Society founder, Nate Larkin, followed by a 90-minute live workshop. We need MORE Silases! If you've had a Silas for 30-45 days, you're ready to BE a Silas. Watch the training videos and sign up for the first workshop (October 11, 6:00PM Central, sign up available on the website soon). If you've been a Silas but you'd like to be a better Silas - take the course, you'll be glad you did! How to access the Silas training course: Go to the Silas portal and login at https://silas.samsonsociety.com/login  Navigate to the "Resources" tab on the left-hand side and select "Courses." Then select "Silas Training" to enroll and begin taking the course. This is the Beta version of the Silas Training Course - we are keenly interested in your feedback. "Sex, Lies, and Videotapes" by Roger C (first in a four-part series) I was raised in a small town in rural Northwest Florida, or “LA” as we called it (that’s “Lower Alabama” for my northern friends). My parents came from farming families and my dad worked in a factory. When I graduated from high school, I went to a military academy in New York. Only the seniors were allowed to have cars, so most of us took opportunities to travel to New York City through various clubs that bused us down on weekends. My roommate Pat, a street-wise city boy from Los Angeles, and I went down on one trip. As we walked down one street, we saw a man with a small folding table with a crowd. Curious, I walked up to see what the commotion was about, while Pat kept walking. He had three half walnut shells and a pea and was shuffling them around then asking the people to bet on which shell held the pea. I followed along and guessed correctly...out loud. The rest was a blur, but the crowd cheered me on to join in, and somehow $20 left my wallet as I placed a bet, guessed wrongly, and lost $20. When I told Pat my story, he sprung into action to find the con man who had stolen my money, but he was long gone. I learned that the “crowd” actually worked with him to pull naive folks like me into the game. I felt foolish, of course, and was out $20, but the lesson was not lost on me. I’ve had other occasions to make poor decisions when I relied on what I thought I knew or saw, only to later find out that the world is not as it seems. Everyone is not to be trusted and we live in a culture where illusions and lies, smoke and mirrors, mislead us, and where people make money off those false beliefs.           READ MORE Because You Asked ... Yes, Covid has taken a toll on Samson House contributions. As we say, "Samson doesn't have dues or fees, but we DO have expenses." We try very hard not to badger you about money, simply letting the quality of our community do our talking. That said, if you value the mission of Samson Society, please consider a monthly contribution or a one-time major gift. You can give HERE, or text Samson House at ‭(719) 722-3545

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Recommended Reading from Desiring God. I needed to read this today.

 https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/holy-is-who-you-are

The 14-Year Disappointment

This past weekend, I dropped in on a former friend who also happens to live within our 'hood.  Keep in mind that we'd only seen each other in passing over the past 14 years simply due to proximity / logistics (our neighborhood is not large), and more often than not, I refused to even make eye contact due to the discomfort his presence caused me.  

My reason for dropping in was obligatory, but what I wasn't expecting from him was his warm welcome on this Sunday afternoon.  He ushered me into his living room, and despite the fact that we immediately got down to business, I could sense that he didn't want me to rush in the least.  What was reconciling too was returning to that very space.  His living room.  That's where our friendship had last left off.

As a result of this juncture, it was apparent to me that the fly in our platonic ointment had somehow been seemingly removed.  Therefore, I took hope from this reboot relative to my rejection scar eventually healing up completely.

And to top it off, he agreed to my formal request (tied to why exactly I was there to begin with).  So, all in all, I walked out very different than I had walking in.  

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In looking back on this tonight, I believe my former friend's change in outlook relative to my value (to him) as a human being was tied to me proving him wrong.  And this was in regards to me having been faithful (in spite of his unbelief in me being able to do so) to who I set out to be (in his eyes) 14 years prior. 

I remember distinctly my former friend / neighbor having an awful lot of baggage (as did I) that he brought with him into the relationship when we were both so much younger.  And it was baggage that he at least wasn't willing to explore / unpack with me at the time.  And unfortunately (or fortunately), I found this out via a swift decoupling.

This guy was intelligent too.  And we had similar interests.  Close to the same age, etc.

It sucked to see this relational schism occur, but I prayed for reconciliation nonetheless.  I just had no legitimate ill will against this man.  I could not discount his hurt despite how he hurt me.

Who would have thought reconciliation would actually someday occur?  

I know we all have experienced friendships that naturally fall apart for various reasons over time.  And those are simply part of life's circumstances (to be included as well within the dynamics of Samson Society).  But, hopefully few of you have experienced a friendship literally jumping the tracks as this one did for me back in 2006.  When this occurs, it's jarring and concussive.  Literally to the point of leaving you not knowing which way is up.  And it can have you questioning repeatedly your own motives whilst perhaps too losing faith in the concept of friendship as a whole.

Thanks be to God for what occurred this past Sunday afternoon.  I'm still smiling.

If you, dear reader, are still holding out hope for a (seemingly) long dead friendship, continue to pray for healing.  Reconciliation is super sweet and well worth the wait.

I Lost My Virginity To A Maverick (Rob's First Role As A Silas)

2011 was notable for my friendship with The Maverick.  It had seeded in 2010, not long after we'd had lunch at the now defunct "Jerusalem Cafe" in Fondren, and this is where he identified himself as a "porn addict".  I'd never heard that phrase, but nonetheless, it deeply concerned me.  Especially considering the fact that he was a pastor.

All of this was pre-Samson Society (at least in terms of our involvement within the ministry).  Though both of us are heavily involved now (me in Jackson and The Maverick in Mobile, AL), at the time, neither of us were privy to Christ-centered relational accountability groups of any ilk.  Therefore, we set out supporting each other as best we knew how.  And by all means, it was imperfect, but such a learning experience and privilege to start there.

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The Maverick's identity was centered on recklessness by my standards and independence by his.  At the conclusion of our friendship (while he was still living here back in 2012), he compared himself to Tom Cruise's character in the film "Top Gun", and in many ways this was true - as an overarching theme relative to how he saw himself.  He was resolute at being a "seat of the pants" guy with almost a fanatical helping of self confidence and poise regarding situations he was no doubt completely (& intentionally) unprepared to face.  Tied to that confidence (arrogance) was off the chart laziness, and this is where his compulsive Internet usage - porn use, gaming came into play.  

Nevertheless, we saw spiritual maturation on either end of the friendship despite our opposing personas.  For me specifically, having this man trust me completely - with my story in particular - was monumentally helpful.  It provided me with a foundation to grow and see / understand myself better from which I'd never had prior.  A period of intense spiritual growth took off as a result.

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If you find yourself (& many a Samson man may very well) serving your very own Maverick as a Silas, here's my advice to you:

But first, let me share the following just to reiterate what I stated prior and to insure that you understand whom exactly I'm describing.  

Mavericks live and breathe reckless behavior / thinking.  It's their language.  Finding a shortcut, taking the risks, cutting corners is their modus operandi.  They're like a bull in a china shop.

I'll provide an example from my experience with The Maverick.

It's a fact that contact lenses are meant to be purged / replaced every two weeks with fresh lenses.  I know this because I've worn them since I was a teen.  It's also recommended that you remove the lenses prior to sleeping, though sleeping in them isn't forbidden.  This procedure of replacing / removing nightly is obviously for the health / recovery of the human eye.  Contact lenses, over time, get protein deposits on them, and too, they simply degrade as they're floating around on the surface of one's eyeball.  This degradation and dirtiness can result in serious eye infections which can lead to eye disease / permanent damage.  God gave man two irreplaceable eyeballs, therefore it's really wise to take good care of them.

Therefore, it's just common sense to follow these recommendations closely whilst wearing contact lenses.

Unless you're a Maverick.  

In that case, you leave your contact lenses in your head for years on end just to see how long you can go. 

And this is just one example of how Mavericks think / operate.

Now back to my advice.

Your Maverick friend needs much more from you than just "You got my back?", though the notion of accepting / making peace with his recklessness is an absolute.  And this could be your way of showing respect (perhaps for something you can't completely understand / appreciate) for who he's chosen to be / ended up becoming (depending on how you look at it).  

What he needs is love.  And often the best way to demonstrate that is through consistency.  Think of yourself (as his Silas) not as a counterpoint but as a datum or signpost.  Consistency in time spent / communication, consistency in pointing him towards Christ (Bible study / prayer / self-examination), consistency in reiterating over and over your care and concern for his well-being (in an effort to work against the recklessness).

And this love you show is going to be tough.  Drawing lines in the sand may be needed via demanding he take logical steps that are in line with The Path.  That being said, if he follows through with your demands, you continue forward via the friendship as such, refusing to miss a beat.  If no follow through occurs, you must be committed to pulling back 'till he's ready to comply with what's obviously best for his own recovery.  If you two can't agree on what's best, you need to loop in other (mutually agreed upon) Samson men to provide advice / insight / counsel.

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Two areas where I did this with my Maverick friend were in the realm of Internet accountability software (Covenant Eyes) and eventually, an insistence regarding him obtaining Christian counseling (at RTS).  Regarding the former, I became his accountability partner, and regarding the latter, I'd ask to see credit card receipts proving he'd attended scheduled counseling sessions.

And he followed through with this, and progress was made, and I was privileged to know him that much more.  For there's nothing more rewarding than witnessing a Christian make progress - in the opposing direction of - chronic sin issues.  But especially whilst experiencing them firsthand yourself.

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My Maverick friend isn't an anomaly to Samson Society.  If you're committed to this ministry long enough and willing to serve any and all men as a Silas, you'll too come across one (or two or three).  And for awhile, you may find yourself scratching your head as to how they operate (off the cuff / on the fly / seat of their pants).  And that's normal.

What I came away with personally was so much understanding tied to my own platonic needs.  And yes, they were finally understood to be needs.  Not wants.  Needs.  What an investment The Maverick made in me!  Thanks be to God for this part of my story.  I'm very much looking forward to reconnecting with him at the Samson Society Fall retreat in early November.  He is one of my heroes and always will be.

Sex Fantasies As An Amalgamation / Re-Imagining Of My Routine

We've visited St. Dominic's Medical Arts building often over the past month due to Angie's post-stroke follow-up doctors' appointments.  Aside from some of the most poorly designed "medical mall" architecture I've experienced firsthand (late '80s Barlow & Plunkett), it's a place not unlike the Jackson Zoological Park or any local Mississippi public library.  

In what way, you ask?

The hospital draws people from all around our state for medical care, therefore in terms of its populace, it serves as an excellent cross sectional representation of what typical Mississippians look like.  And, there's no doubt that hands down we're the ugliest, most grotesque people in the Union.  And this, I believe, is why so many people refuse to live here.  

Mostly, this reality relative to our populace is perpetuated by the epidemic of obesity here in the Magnolia State, but I'm sure some of it simply has to do with genetics.  

So, you mix those personally repetitive, yet sobering experiences in with a smattering of online news and entertainment, and for me, there's not only willful motivation but a means to escape those experiences - at least temporarily.

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Before the Internet brought us "news" around the clock (via media outlets - URLs - monitoring what we consumed as such in order to tailor their content to suit our appetites), there were daily newspapers and nightly TV news programs.  And these were available every day of the week, but obviously their existence was a captured one.  In other words, as news outlets, they had one 24-hour shot at relaying their findings to the American public, therefore this precipitated a much high level of executive editing relative to both content, format, and scale (amount of time/space spent on one article/newsworthy event) than we see today.

Because of this, news reporters / journalists were a much more respected lot, and as such, were understood as necessary.  Plus, none of them looked like Barbie dolls.

It's similar to the narrative behind the American pastor.  Prior to 24/7 televangelists (who're constantly asking for $$$), pastors were confined to their pulpits on Sunday mornings.  As such, both their roles and content were and were seen as very different.

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I'm a reader through and through.  Reading for me comes super easy.  It doesn't, nor has it ever, felt like work to me.  Therefore, I enjoy it.

I'm also an amateur researcher.  Once my interest is topically piqued, and I have the time / energy to spare, I'll dig.

Taking those attributes into consideration, there ain't no more interesting topic to me than those which are sex-laden.  (And I know I'm not in the minority here.)

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Over the course of the past few weeks, a very prominent news story broke regarding the (now) former president of a sizable, private Christian college in the Midwest.  The news outlet that broke the story is a highly respected one (Reuters).  I read this piece, and frankly, due to its salacious and sin-laden content, it made a distinct impression on me.

Soon thereafter, other news outlets "expounded on" the story by also paying the source (the love interest) for additional juicy details.  Once I was made aware of those follow up stories (Matt Drudge's aggregate news site), I too read them, but this time it was from a completely didn't point of view.

No longer was this news.  It was smut.  And I love smut.

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Mississippians look like the Baron in 1984's "Dune" because they love to eat garbage whilst being averse to physical exercise, and these truths are perpetuated by categorical ignorance relative to health & wellness.  When you love something (whether or not it's tied to ignorance), you do it often, and when one is consuming garbage (especially combined with zero exercise), it's going to have seriously harmful consequences to both your health and physical appearance.  Taking that truth into account, when everyone looks similarly ugly, no one has a reason to personally care anymore.  It's just a big 'ol wad of mass stupidity.

Last night, my youngest daughter and I finished screening a fantasy film from 2014 that I picked up a year or so ago.  The film was in the bargain DVD bin, therefore no doubt that summarizes its cultural impact.  Nonetheless, the film is costumed exquisitely and the actors are extraordinarily beautiful whilst cavorting around there on set in breathtaking British Columbia.  

My daughter in fact stated repeatedly how "hot" the young actor was whom played the protagonist.  And I agreed.  But so were the ladies who traipsed around in their heavy cosmetics and revealing, sexy garb.

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Prior to falling asleep last night, I let my imagination run wild as yet another week came to an end, taking everything that I've described above into account - reality here in Mississippi, historical reality elsewhere (supposedly) within the Midwest, and cheap cinematic fantasy.  And as a result, I was highly entertained for those few minutes, and of course, seemingly in complete control of my own version of a very sex-laden re-imagining of all this that was knocking around within my head.

What's tragic about this is I'm no different than my fellow Mississippians.  Just as grotesque.  Just as ugly.  But the ugliness is seeded within my heart.  And that ugliness is disguised as normal.

Gluttony produces visible ramifications.  Lust too, but moreso to our Heavenly Father who sees inside of each man.  God help me to take my future thoughts captive in lieu of aloofly laying waste to this temple of the Holy Spirit.  I know better than to do this.

Highly Recommended TED Talk - "How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across A Lifetime" - Dr. Nadine Burke Harris

We All Need Some Good News Today