Struggling
I am struggling right now. Last night, my first night in a new apartment, I gave into temptation and lust and used pornography. This morning I am feeling shame, guilt, and a deep sense of inadequacy. Tomorrow, I start a new job. Feeling like this is not the ideal to go into something so important. It is not how I “should” feel or am supposed to.
Today, I admit this reality to myself and others – instead of trying to compensate for or coverup the shame by focusing on other areas or tasks in my life. By deflecting. I need to lay this down at the Lord’s feet, accept where I am, and ask Him to help me do what I cannot do for myself.
I’m now headed out for the day. It has been a challenge to even find the right words for this entry. Facing people seems daunting right now.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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