Monday, September 30, 2019
Thursday, September 26, 2019
Monday, September 23, 2019
The Right Man For The Job But The Wrong Environment For The Man
Until you arrive at where you choose to travel to, there's no real way to know how that environment will impact you.
The environment we find ourselves within, whether its our vocation, family-life, school, etc., impacts our understanding of ourselves due to how we react to the setting / people that make up that setting. It's not unlike performing a science project with your standard guinea pig, forcing the animal to cope with scenarios that allow the observer to better understand said pig's reaction in light of the environment he's presented with.
We can pray and research, but no amount of fact-finding will ever come close to living out a new setting and all the demands that setting will impose.
-------------------------
The very first experience Rob found himself within where the setting seemed to unleash a barrage of chronic internal negativity was in PE class in 7th grade. And when I say chronic internal negativity, I'm referring to literally feeling like a martian (with antenna growing out of his head).
I had never experienced difficulty in a similar setting prior to this, but nevertheless, it in itself was reflexively painful to be forced into day after day.
And I knew by my observations that I wasn't the only boy who was experiencing this, but of course, I certainly didn't understand how to articulate what I was experiencing, much less what anyone else was.
-------------------------
I grew up in a household where no one ever talked about their emotions - positive or negative nor did they display them. Ever. And weirdly enough, it was my mother who lead the charge in that regard. She seemed to have no authentic emotions, choosing instead to pour all of her energy into fabricating her idyllic illusion of physical perfection. She was our household fembot. One of the most unique quirks about my parents is neither of them ever touched each other. I never once witnessed as their son any romantic / affectionate physicality. No kissing. No hand holding. No hugs. Ever. Hence, it was a very abnormal environment to be reared within.
And of course, that left me to grapple with all of this unforeseen internal negativity alone there as a 7th grader. Therefore, I quit the class. I had to. Otherwise, I felt this massive internal negativity via this setting would crush me through and through. And I did not want to be crushed despite how running away was going to look.
-------------------------
A sizable part of why I chose to pursue a degree in architecture had to do with me hopefully not ever feeling this way again. I wanted to find a vocation that might fit me well, but primarily, I did not want to be a martian amongst men. By God's grace, I received my degree, and from there, went to work. And yes, I found that many of the men I worked for / with were just as martian-like as I was.
Just so you know...
Architects are not team players, therefore they don't enjoy working collaboratively. And they absolutely don't like to receive criticism unless it can be backed up with a sizable helping of credential / merit. Architects aren't interested in being given zero direction whatsoever, and even worse, no one to ask for help or assistance. We typically aren't very patient, but alas, we will wait on providential surprises. We enjoy working hard, so long as we're given the affirmation we need to stay energized. And interestingly enough, the majority of that affirmation must come from inside of ourselves.
-------------------------
Now, I want to focus from here on that last sentence.
I believe the majority of us men fall prey to this, architect or not. Let's call it man's inside voice. That voice that sizes us up each and every day.
In looking back on 7th grade, my long-term fear was that Rob's inside voice would become too corrupt, too emblazoned with negativity from that point forward due to me being forced to survive for an entire school year within that setting. Hence, there would end up being too much negativity inside of me, which was toxic, for Rob to handle going forward, especially considering my parental non-supportiveness. In other words, guinea pig Rob would likely not survive / maintain his emotional sanity were he left to flounder within the chronic internal negativity as a result of that PE class setting.
-------------------------
I believe each and every man has only so much internal positivity, and that it's especially important to be cognizant of that finite resource and therefore guard it closely over the course of his lifetime. The Bible references loving your neighbor as yourself. It's the "as yourself" part that I'm referring to hear. This is why sin is so deadly to man. And I'm not only referring to the physical consequences but the emotional ones. After the deeds are done, it's the guilt and shame that literally will eat the man alive.
So what do we do as a people with this horrific truth?
1. Mock the notion of sin by repackaging it into something else entirely (normalize it).
2. Medicate our guilt with drugs and booze.
3. Self-flagellate ourselves as if we're the convicted, judge, and warden all combined.
4. Find the support needed to extinguish chronic sin issues.
-------------------------
One architect attribute I failed to mention earlier is our love to be challenged. Give an architect something hard to do, a problem to solve, a situation to endure, and he'll usually attack it head on. Any opportunity to prove ourselves is welcome indeed.
For Rob, I was faced with that back in 2012, and once I had Angie onboard (which didn't take long) with the idea of moving our family to small-town Mississippi for me to take on a new job, it was full steam ahead.
Oh, the increase in income! [It actually wasn't a whole lot.] Oh, the increase in responsibility! Oh, the challenge of the setting! And on and on. I was so excited!
But there was just one problem there, and it was identical to what I'd experienced in 7th grade. Chronic internal negativity. But this time, I was determined to discount it. To fluff it off. Or to simply endure 'till somehow the setting became (hopefully) more manageable day by day.
But it never did. It only grew worse. Until finally, I began to use porn at my desk on most days after 5 PM to medicate the intense emotional pain. And keep in mind too that those I'd reached out to for help hadn't responded (as I've written about in the past). And then I got fired.
-------------------------
That was 6 years ago, almost to the day. The institution I was employed by gave me 30 days of severance pay, and from there, I was on my own.
God had other plans for Rob's heart. He essentially rescued me from myself for I simply didn't have the insight I once had as a 7th grader!
I pray today that your well of positivity is accounted for and therefore protected with all your good intentions. At the present, I guard mine like precious jewels, consistently working to avoid people / scenarios that I might forecast / sense are potentially going to drag me into that chronic negativity realm. And this includes people who either live out their lives as emotional frauds or those who simply will not seek whatever means possible (including professional help) to get a handle on their own shit.
It may sound selfish, but it's self protection. I truly believe that it's my job alone to stave off those horrifically cruel inside voices by staying true to my own personal reactions relative to each and every setting I may encounter / be thrust into.
In closing, I find it so interesting that the Rob of age 13 had so much more wisdom / self-care than the Rob of age 41. Why is it that as we age we rank so many other things above (in importance) our own self-care / well-being?
The environment we find ourselves within, whether its our vocation, family-life, school, etc., impacts our understanding of ourselves due to how we react to the setting / people that make up that setting. It's not unlike performing a science project with your standard guinea pig, forcing the animal to cope with scenarios that allow the observer to better understand said pig's reaction in light of the environment he's presented with.
We can pray and research, but no amount of fact-finding will ever come close to living out a new setting and all the demands that setting will impose.
-------------------------
The very first experience Rob found himself within where the setting seemed to unleash a barrage of chronic internal negativity was in PE class in 7th grade. And when I say chronic internal negativity, I'm referring to literally feeling like a martian (with antenna growing out of his head).
I had never experienced difficulty in a similar setting prior to this, but nevertheless, it in itself was reflexively painful to be forced into day after day.
And I knew by my observations that I wasn't the only boy who was experiencing this, but of course, I certainly didn't understand how to articulate what I was experiencing, much less what anyone else was.
-------------------------
I grew up in a household where no one ever talked about their emotions - positive or negative nor did they display them. Ever. And weirdly enough, it was my mother who lead the charge in that regard. She seemed to have no authentic emotions, choosing instead to pour all of her energy into fabricating her idyllic illusion of physical perfection. She was our household fembot. One of the most unique quirks about my parents is neither of them ever touched each other. I never once witnessed as their son any romantic / affectionate physicality. No kissing. No hand holding. No hugs. Ever. Hence, it was a very abnormal environment to be reared within.
And of course, that left me to grapple with all of this unforeseen internal negativity alone there as a 7th grader. Therefore, I quit the class. I had to. Otherwise, I felt this massive internal negativity via this setting would crush me through and through. And I did not want to be crushed despite how running away was going to look.
-------------------------
A sizable part of why I chose to pursue a degree in architecture had to do with me hopefully not ever feeling this way again. I wanted to find a vocation that might fit me well, but primarily, I did not want to be a martian amongst men. By God's grace, I received my degree, and from there, went to work. And yes, I found that many of the men I worked for / with were just as martian-like as I was.
Just so you know...
Architects are not team players, therefore they don't enjoy working collaboratively. And they absolutely don't like to receive criticism unless it can be backed up with a sizable helping of credential / merit. Architects aren't interested in being given zero direction whatsoever, and even worse, no one to ask for help or assistance. We typically aren't very patient, but alas, we will wait on providential surprises. We enjoy working hard, so long as we're given the affirmation we need to stay energized. And interestingly enough, the majority of that affirmation must come from inside of ourselves.
-------------------------
Now, I want to focus from here on that last sentence.
I believe the majority of us men fall prey to this, architect or not. Let's call it man's inside voice. That voice that sizes us up each and every day.
In looking back on 7th grade, my long-term fear was that Rob's inside voice would become too corrupt, too emblazoned with negativity from that point forward due to me being forced to survive for an entire school year within that setting. Hence, there would end up being too much negativity inside of me, which was toxic, for Rob to handle going forward, especially considering my parental non-supportiveness. In other words, guinea pig Rob would likely not survive / maintain his emotional sanity were he left to flounder within the chronic internal negativity as a result of that PE class setting.
-------------------------
I believe each and every man has only so much internal positivity, and that it's especially important to be cognizant of that finite resource and therefore guard it closely over the course of his lifetime. The Bible references loving your neighbor as yourself. It's the "as yourself" part that I'm referring to hear. This is why sin is so deadly to man. And I'm not only referring to the physical consequences but the emotional ones. After the deeds are done, it's the guilt and shame that literally will eat the man alive.
So what do we do as a people with this horrific truth?
1. Mock the notion of sin by repackaging it into something else entirely (normalize it).
2. Medicate our guilt with drugs and booze.
3. Self-flagellate ourselves as if we're the convicted, judge, and warden all combined.
4. Find the support needed to extinguish chronic sin issues.
-------------------------
One architect attribute I failed to mention earlier is our love to be challenged. Give an architect something hard to do, a problem to solve, a situation to endure, and he'll usually attack it head on. Any opportunity to prove ourselves is welcome indeed.
For Rob, I was faced with that back in 2012, and once I had Angie onboard (which didn't take long) with the idea of moving our family to small-town Mississippi for me to take on a new job, it was full steam ahead.
Oh, the increase in income! [It actually wasn't a whole lot.] Oh, the increase in responsibility! Oh, the challenge of the setting! And on and on. I was so excited!
But there was just one problem there, and it was identical to what I'd experienced in 7th grade. Chronic internal negativity. But this time, I was determined to discount it. To fluff it off. Or to simply endure 'till somehow the setting became (hopefully) more manageable day by day.
But it never did. It only grew worse. Until finally, I began to use porn at my desk on most days after 5 PM to medicate the intense emotional pain. And keep in mind too that those I'd reached out to for help hadn't responded (as I've written about in the past). And then I got fired.
-------------------------
That was 6 years ago, almost to the day. The institution I was employed by gave me 30 days of severance pay, and from there, I was on my own.
God had other plans for Rob's heart. He essentially rescued me from myself for I simply didn't have the insight I once had as a 7th grader!
I pray today that your well of positivity is accounted for and therefore protected with all your good intentions. At the present, I guard mine like precious jewels, consistently working to avoid people / scenarios that I might forecast / sense are potentially going to drag me into that chronic negativity realm. And this includes people who either live out their lives as emotional frauds or those who simply will not seek whatever means possible (including professional help) to get a handle on their own shit.
It may sound selfish, but it's self protection. I truly believe that it's my job alone to stave off those horrifically cruel inside voices by staying true to my own personal reactions relative to each and every setting I may encounter / be thrust into.
In closing, I find it so interesting that the Rob of age 13 had so much more wisdom / self-care than the Rob of age 41. Why is it that as we age we rank so many other things above (in importance) our own self-care / well-being?
Safe To Speak / Free From Any Questions (Including Stupid Ones)
Samson Society meetings provide a safehaven for men to be heard without fear of being questioned / reprimanded / counseled. It's the one hour of the week (depending on how many meetings you attend) when you're free to have the floor for a few precious minutes, knowing what you're choosing to articulate will be heard, processed, and respectfully considered amongst the other men present sans any follow up questions / discussion whatsoever.
Outside of that setting, it's a free for all. Which is really quite scary to consider when you think about all of the opportunities there are for each of us to ask unhelpful questions of each other.
Over the past 7 days, I've met with a number of individuals who've taken upon themselves their choosing to ask Rob stupid and therefore really hurtful questions. Now, I've certainly asked my fair share of similarly stupid questions of people over the years, and they were undoubtedly legitimate questions that had popped into my brain. But, oh, how I wished I could unask them soon thereafter!
I admit, I'm a curious guy, but despite this, some questions need never be asked out of respect for the other party.
So, how to know a non-antagonistic question from one that isn't, and what to do internally whilst dealing with the fallout of being asked a stupid, hurtful question?
Regarding the former question, there's no rule of thumb here, but I will say this. Look at your own state of mind. Closely. If you're truly in a good place where you're only considering the needs of your companion over your own self, then that's a solid indicator to proceed with your inquiry. Otherwise, be very cautious and suspicious of exactly what good (if any) might actually spring forth from your question(s).
Too, don't ever ask obvious questions or questions that are impossible to answer well no matter how smart / emotionally in tune the individual is that you're curious to ask. Those should always be off limits.
Regarding the latter question, remember your own failings and be mindful of the fact (regarding repeat stupid question offenders) that certain people find much pleasure in "stirring the pot". Make of it what you will and how you might choose to respond to these, but they do live (and lead) among-st us. And yes, one of their primary toolsets are stupid, hurtful questions to get people riled up.
-------------------------
I have learned and will continue to learn so much about the importance of listening via my attendance of Samson Society meetings. That being said, I've yet to encounter a venue that reinforces how best to ask / vet quality questions, but if I find one, I'll be sure to pass it along.
Outside of that setting, it's a free for all. Which is really quite scary to consider when you think about all of the opportunities there are for each of us to ask unhelpful questions of each other.
Over the past 7 days, I've met with a number of individuals who've taken upon themselves their choosing to ask Rob stupid and therefore really hurtful questions. Now, I've certainly asked my fair share of similarly stupid questions of people over the years, and they were undoubtedly legitimate questions that had popped into my brain. But, oh, how I wished I could unask them soon thereafter!
I admit, I'm a curious guy, but despite this, some questions need never be asked out of respect for the other party.
So, how to know a non-antagonistic question from one that isn't, and what to do internally whilst dealing with the fallout of being asked a stupid, hurtful question?
Regarding the former question, there's no rule of thumb here, but I will say this. Look at your own state of mind. Closely. If you're truly in a good place where you're only considering the needs of your companion over your own self, then that's a solid indicator to proceed with your inquiry. Otherwise, be very cautious and suspicious of exactly what good (if any) might actually spring forth from your question(s).
Too, don't ever ask obvious questions or questions that are impossible to answer well no matter how smart / emotionally in tune the individual is that you're curious to ask. Those should always be off limits.
Regarding the latter question, remember your own failings and be mindful of the fact (regarding repeat stupid question offenders) that certain people find much pleasure in "stirring the pot". Make of it what you will and how you might choose to respond to these, but they do live (and lead) among-st us. And yes, one of their primary toolsets are stupid, hurtful questions to get people riled up.
-------------------------
I have learned and will continue to learn so much about the importance of listening via my attendance of Samson Society meetings. That being said, I've yet to encounter a venue that reinforces how best to ask / vet quality questions, but if I find one, I'll be sure to pass it along.
Saturday, September 21, 2019
Adam & Eve Appreciation
Holy scripture starts with God creating man and woman and placing them within the garden of Eden. Jesus is cited referencing this within the gospels. Undoubtedly, he's not only privy to it as a Jew who's been educated, but as God who was present when it occurred.
Scripture gives us no indication as to how long the first husband / wife were cultivating the garden 'till the Fall, but nevertheless, enough time passed for them to suffer / know tremendous loss when the Fall did occur.
Scripture alludes to the lion and the lamb lying down together amidst the new heaven and Earth, therefore I can only assume this same pacifistic state existed within the Eden at the dawn of creation. Therefore, a lot of time was obviously spent enjoying the goodness / prosperity of this setting which in turn meant that Adam and Eve took full advantage of each other within that same vein.
-------------------------
I am an architect, and I've had the privilege of working with some amazingly talented people on some very noteworthy projects here in Mississippi.
One of the largest public buildings that I served as the lead designer on is literally just a few miles from where the Turner's reside in Rankin county. It was completed in 2002, and during the ribbon cutting ceremony (grand opening), I remember anticipating hearing the local mayor (within his speech) recognizing not only the contractors' efforts (who'd been quite capable) but the efforts of the architect (the firm that I worked for).
His speech began and there were such accolades for politics and politicians, past and present. And then there were more accolades for those same politicians. This went on in excess of 20 minutes. And then it was over.
I remember standing up from my metal folding chair out there on the front lawn of the building and literally feeling as if all the work I'd done had been meaningless in so many ways.
Even today, whilst looking back on that, I'm amazed that this prominent city mayor didn't take the time to publicly acknowledge either the designers nor the constructors of this beautiful municipal centerpiece of a building, and of course, I can't help but ask the question, why?
-------------------------
God instructed Adam and Eve to populate the Earth. We have to assume had the Fall not occurred that they would have had children within that unblemished setting just as they did after the Fall. Of course, the world these children would have been born into would have been the same Adam and Eve had only known there in Eden.
One of the most prominent differentiators between the pre / post-Fall state of mind / body for these first human beings was their nakedness. Adam and Eve both felt ashamed of their nakedness immediately following the Fall, therefore they became resourceful in order to clothe themselves with plant material. Eventually, as Scripture alludes, they were ran out of the garden, forbidden to ever return as punishment for their disobedience.
But before that ever occurred, Adam and Eve were the ideal husband / wife within the ideal setting. Their way of life within the garden had been set in motion by their creator. It involved no shame and certainly no sin, therefore I can only also assume (as I alluded to prior) that there was no need for nor hint of violence.
Why don't we as Christians focus on this ideal more? There's so much here to appreciate because it's what God had intended life on Earth to be.
-------------------------
I believe the primary purpose of attending college is to move from dumb ass to smart ass as a person. College should enlighten to the point that graduates know and understand the world around them with relevance and appreciation. And, I believe there's value to this knowledge. In the not too distant past, most collegiate types pursued the liberal arts. And these were precisely what I'm describing here. A wide gamut of relevant knowledge that enlightens and expand one's mind.
As any college grad should tell you (ideally), there is so much to learn about the world around us. And by doing so, you then see everything continuing forward within a new light.
Therefore, if you're not given the opportunity to receive this education, your view of the world will most certainly be confined within the boundaries of what you yourself have been able to obtain on your own accord (after high school). And from there, your ability to appreciate said world may certainly be constrained, constricted, etc.
Now obviously, not every collegiate experience is the same due to institutional and / or field of study choices, but in general terms, these are true statements.
Have you ever come across the phrase Renaissance Man? If not, it's worth researching. It's what I meant by smart ass (in jest).
-------------------------
As husbands / wives, we are constantly tempted to compare ourselves to others and in turn, do the same relative to our spouses. Our culture is built on this, and it does more to weaken marriages than anything else. Entertainment and the advertising revenue that our entertainment industry is built upon uses this societal crutch (weakness) as it's primary motivator to keep all of us attentive and novelized by our many screens.
Party to this, there is no sense within most marriages that one's spouse's body is owned by the other. We understand that paying off our mortgage makes the grass seem greener on the front lawn, but we fail to apply that to what we already own within our spouse.
Eve was created from Adam. God saw a need and fulfilled it via Eve's creation. And when Eve was presented to Adam, she was solely focused on what was now her property. Him. And this had to have put a smile on her lovely face.
And there was a physical toolset (no pun intended) that she understand as Adam. Eve knew herself, therefore when she saw Adam, she comprehended what was her own and how it perfectly complemented her own created self. To be blunt, she loved his wiener in relation to her vagina because it was her husband's wiener. And so forth, and so on regarding her understanding of Adam, from Adam's head to Adam's toes. All of it was her own property. Paid in full. Therefore, just like the paid off mortgage, she was the owner, and this gave her every right to do with his body whatever she saw fit to.
Therefore, the marriage brought with it no shame nor comparison because each spouse knew and understood the other as God had intended. And of course, sexuality was a sizable part of their existence as husband / wife. And it was completely uninhibited due to neither of them being ignorant to the truth of what God had given to each of them within each other.
And please know that I'm writing this from Eve's point of view because I believe women moreso than men are more susceptible to the shame / lies that spring forth from the constant pressure to compare / contrast herself and her husband within our culture. And this is a pointless, destructive exercise unless of course he's an adulterer, addict, or abuser.
-------------------------
Let's educate ourselves as husband / wives, looking to God's first married couple for enlightenment. If we don't have that thorough appreciation, we'll miss out on what we're to understand innately about our spouses within our marriage. This is why Bible study is so important as well as education (as it points us towards the importance of study) in general. Otherwise, we're going to waste an awful lot of not only our own time but our spouse's time due to our ignorance and confusion as to how God actually intended marriage to be. And in the end, all the more unhappier / unsatisfied for it.
If you're a Christian and married, you should make a point to study God's word, if for no other reason than to comprehend marriage and thusly protect it, enjoy it, appreciate it to its fullest. God designed it and called it good.
Don't be a dumbass and miss the opportunity to acknowledge God's good work through your own understanding. For that's what Satan wants.
Scripture gives us no indication as to how long the first husband / wife were cultivating the garden 'till the Fall, but nevertheless, enough time passed for them to suffer / know tremendous loss when the Fall did occur.
Scripture alludes to the lion and the lamb lying down together amidst the new heaven and Earth, therefore I can only assume this same pacifistic state existed within the Eden at the dawn of creation. Therefore, a lot of time was obviously spent enjoying the goodness / prosperity of this setting which in turn meant that Adam and Eve took full advantage of each other within that same vein.
-------------------------
I am an architect, and I've had the privilege of working with some amazingly talented people on some very noteworthy projects here in Mississippi.
One of the largest public buildings that I served as the lead designer on is literally just a few miles from where the Turner's reside in Rankin county. It was completed in 2002, and during the ribbon cutting ceremony (grand opening), I remember anticipating hearing the local mayor (within his speech) recognizing not only the contractors' efforts (who'd been quite capable) but the efforts of the architect (the firm that I worked for).
His speech began and there were such accolades for politics and politicians, past and present. And then there were more accolades for those same politicians. This went on in excess of 20 minutes. And then it was over.
I remember standing up from my metal folding chair out there on the front lawn of the building and literally feeling as if all the work I'd done had been meaningless in so many ways.
Even today, whilst looking back on that, I'm amazed that this prominent city mayor didn't take the time to publicly acknowledge either the designers nor the constructors of this beautiful municipal centerpiece of a building, and of course, I can't help but ask the question, why?
-------------------------
God instructed Adam and Eve to populate the Earth. We have to assume had the Fall not occurred that they would have had children within that unblemished setting just as they did after the Fall. Of course, the world these children would have been born into would have been the same Adam and Eve had only known there in Eden.
One of the most prominent differentiators between the pre / post-Fall state of mind / body for these first human beings was their nakedness. Adam and Eve both felt ashamed of their nakedness immediately following the Fall, therefore they became resourceful in order to clothe themselves with plant material. Eventually, as Scripture alludes, they were ran out of the garden, forbidden to ever return as punishment for their disobedience.
But before that ever occurred, Adam and Eve were the ideal husband / wife within the ideal setting. Their way of life within the garden had been set in motion by their creator. It involved no shame and certainly no sin, therefore I can only also assume (as I alluded to prior) that there was no need for nor hint of violence.
Why don't we as Christians focus on this ideal more? There's so much here to appreciate because it's what God had intended life on Earth to be.
-------------------------
I believe the primary purpose of attending college is to move from dumb ass to smart ass as a person. College should enlighten to the point that graduates know and understand the world around them with relevance and appreciation. And, I believe there's value to this knowledge. In the not too distant past, most collegiate types pursued the liberal arts. And these were precisely what I'm describing here. A wide gamut of relevant knowledge that enlightens and expand one's mind.
As any college grad should tell you (ideally), there is so much to learn about the world around us. And by doing so, you then see everything continuing forward within a new light.
Therefore, if you're not given the opportunity to receive this education, your view of the world will most certainly be confined within the boundaries of what you yourself have been able to obtain on your own accord (after high school). And from there, your ability to appreciate said world may certainly be constrained, constricted, etc.
Now obviously, not every collegiate experience is the same due to institutional and / or field of study choices, but in general terms, these are true statements.
Have you ever come across the phrase Renaissance Man? If not, it's worth researching. It's what I meant by smart ass (in jest).
-------------------------
As husbands / wives, we are constantly tempted to compare ourselves to others and in turn, do the same relative to our spouses. Our culture is built on this, and it does more to weaken marriages than anything else. Entertainment and the advertising revenue that our entertainment industry is built upon uses this societal crutch (weakness) as it's primary motivator to keep all of us attentive and novelized by our many screens.
Party to this, there is no sense within most marriages that one's spouse's body is owned by the other. We understand that paying off our mortgage makes the grass seem greener on the front lawn, but we fail to apply that to what we already own within our spouse.
Eve was created from Adam. God saw a need and fulfilled it via Eve's creation. And when Eve was presented to Adam, she was solely focused on what was now her property. Him. And this had to have put a smile on her lovely face.
And there was a physical toolset (no pun intended) that she understand as Adam. Eve knew herself, therefore when she saw Adam, she comprehended what was her own and how it perfectly complemented her own created self. To be blunt, she loved his wiener in relation to her vagina because it was her husband's wiener. And so forth, and so on regarding her understanding of Adam, from Adam's head to Adam's toes. All of it was her own property. Paid in full. Therefore, just like the paid off mortgage, she was the owner, and this gave her every right to do with his body whatever she saw fit to.
Therefore, the marriage brought with it no shame nor comparison because each spouse knew and understood the other as God had intended. And of course, sexuality was a sizable part of their existence as husband / wife. And it was completely uninhibited due to neither of them being ignorant to the truth of what God had given to each of them within each other.
And please know that I'm writing this from Eve's point of view because I believe women moreso than men are more susceptible to the shame / lies that spring forth from the constant pressure to compare / contrast herself and her husband within our culture. And this is a pointless, destructive exercise unless of course he's an adulterer, addict, or abuser.
-------------------------
Let's educate ourselves as husband / wives, looking to God's first married couple for enlightenment. If we don't have that thorough appreciation, we'll miss out on what we're to understand innately about our spouses within our marriage. This is why Bible study is so important as well as education (as it points us towards the importance of study) in general. Otherwise, we're going to waste an awful lot of not only our own time but our spouse's time due to our ignorance and confusion as to how God actually intended marriage to be. And in the end, all the more unhappier / unsatisfied for it.
If you're a Christian and married, you should make a point to study God's word, if for no other reason than to comprehend marriage and thusly protect it, enjoy it, appreciate it to its fullest. God designed it and called it good.
Don't be a dumbass and miss the opportunity to acknowledge God's good work through your own understanding. For that's what Satan wants.
Thursday, September 19, 2019
Sanguine
If you wish to pour hot coals on the head of those who've hurt you emotionally physically, spiritually, pray that God will provide you with an optimistic outlook despite your suffering. If you're blessed to receive such a gift from your Heavenly Father, it will frustrate your enemy to no end.
As Christians, we're to be innocent as doves. Always turning the other cheek and being willing to go the second and third mile for those who torment us.
Why do any of this?
Because we are to care more for our brother's salvation than anything else due to the fact that we are obligated to it / responsible for it as Christians due to our witness.
In other words, we don't deserve any moreso than our enemy to be born again, adopted sons of God, and it is our enemies' presence within our lives that provides opportunity for us to exude / amplify / reflect the mercies of Jesus Christ.
Let me repeat that. We don't deserve any moreso than our enemy to be born again, adopted sons of God. This is so freaking hard to digest. Oh Lord, humble my heart today!
We didn't earn our salvation. And no, there's no Christian "Bill of Rights" relative to how we're to be treated, adjudicated by our fellow man. What there is though is the plethora of God's promises to his children.
Hold fast to an eternal outlook today, and keep pouring out those hot coals via a God breathed sanguine outlook / perspective. No matter how much you'd like to witness your enemy's house burning down, dog being run over, or spouse leaving him / her, pray for them earnestly whilst also praying for your own self regarding how you respond to them each and every day.
As Christians, we're to be innocent as doves. Always turning the other cheek and being willing to go the second and third mile for those who torment us.
Why do any of this?
Because we are to care more for our brother's salvation than anything else due to the fact that we are obligated to it / responsible for it as Christians due to our witness.
In other words, we don't deserve any moreso than our enemy to be born again, adopted sons of God, and it is our enemies' presence within our lives that provides opportunity for us to exude / amplify / reflect the mercies of Jesus Christ.
Let me repeat that. We don't deserve any moreso than our enemy to be born again, adopted sons of God. This is so freaking hard to digest. Oh Lord, humble my heart today!
We didn't earn our salvation. And no, there's no Christian "Bill of Rights" relative to how we're to be treated, adjudicated by our fellow man. What there is though is the plethora of God's promises to his children.
Hold fast to an eternal outlook today, and keep pouring out those hot coals via a God breathed sanguine outlook / perspective. No matter how much you'd like to witness your enemy's house burning down, dog being run over, or spouse leaving him / her, pray for them earnestly whilst also praying for your own self regarding how you respond to them each and every day.
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Supernatural Presence Within
The Bible has a lot to say about the supernatural existing within human beings. Sometimes it refers to evil in that regard, but mostly it places emphasis on holy. Jesus as well as a number of the apostles are chronicled within God's word as having run ins with evil spirits who happened to be existing within human beings. In the case of Jesus, a number of those evil spirits identified themselves upon encountering the Messiah via their natural host. A few very awkward exchanges are recorded in Scripture due to this. And there's no doubt that the "persuasion" of the evil spirit made quite the impact on its host relative to outlook on life, mood, but mainly his / her state of mind. In other words, what the demonic spirit was feeling was amplified into the experience of its victim.
Jesus ascended into heaven, having spent 30 or so additional days on the Earth after his resurrection from the dead. He stated that it would be better for him to exit than stay in order for the Holy Spirit to "relieve him" (my way of seeing it) here on Earth.
In all honesty, I've never put much thought into whom or why he said that 'till recently. Therefore, what you're about to read is my take on an important foundational topic of Scripture from the point of view of a Reformed Christian.
-------------------------
When I was lassoed in by the gospel at age 13, I have no doubt the Holy Spirit entered in. I credit it's help with so many righteous decisions / periods of enduring suffering well, though I'll be the first to admit that I was far from perfect. But what I've never considered is how God's spirit affects 47-year old Rob day to day as I go about living my life. The Bible is clear that our bodies are vessels for God's spirit to "make itself home" within. Therefore, this notion that post-conversion God's spirit might overstay its welcome, or simply cease to be present doesn't line up with Scripture. In fact, it's more in line with the homeyness analogy which would be, as time advances, God's spirit only becomes that much more integrated within.
-------------------------
When my wife became a mother to our first child, her identity as Angie changed. It wasn't that she became someone else, but due to her birthing Caroline, it was as if another permanent point of view was put in place simultaneously.
Let me give you an example of this.
Angie detests being out in the heat because she physiologically reacts to it almost immediately by perspiring profusely. Literally all over her body, within a matter of a few minutes, she looks as if she's been out in the scorching hot sun for over an hour. When she was a student at Baylor (very hot fall semesters), she loathed having to walk across campus to class due to the inevitable perspiration on her face, in her hair, etc. that she'd have to cope with whilst walking and during her class. And this issue has stigmatized her literally to the point of pretty much never walking outside the house unless it's less than 85 degrees F. Interestingly enough, her father had this same physiological quirk, and I must say that I'm thankful it wasn't passed along to any of our 3 little sinners.
Our oldest daughter is a varsity dancer, therefore at every high school football game, she's there with the team, shaking her ass at the fans. As part of this, there's tailgating and so forth that we as "dance team parents" are encouraged to be a part of. Well, you dear reader already know how I feel at high school football games.
Inevitably, the first 4 or 5 games are played within quite uncomfortable climate conditions here within the Magnolia state, and this is especially true considering the tailgating food frenzy starts 90 minutes prior to kickoff. And guess who's there despite the heat? At each and every home game? My sweet, profusely sweaty Angie. And, of course, she's all smiles and in good spirits as the mother of Caroline.
-------------------------
90 days after being terminated from my job at Delta State for breaking their Information Technology policy, I wasn't experiencing any emotional healing. If anything was happening, I was actually becoming more despondent. During the initial 30 days (this was about this time of year in 2013), I lost 14 pounds, slept no more than 3 to 4 hours a night, and experienced hopelessness like I'd never experienced in my life. You would have thought that I'd lost a child or was going through a divorce had only the qualitative emotional suffering been taken into account. Eventually, I soon discovered that I had developed PTSD due to the severity of the emotional trauma, therefore from there, I found myself on an 18 month collision course dealing with daily flashbacks of the termination and subsequent emotional fallout.
Leading up to that termination was a point of spiritual reckoning for me that I had no clue how to come to grips with. Essentially, 3 months prior to that fateful day, I wrote a letter to our pastor at Covenant Presbyterian Church which specifically asked him for help with my continued struggle with sexual sin. Well before that letter was penned (soon after we joined the congregation), he became privy to my former blog, The Architect's Garage, which detailed my entire struggle with homosexual desire, porn, my faith, and so forth. Unfortunately, Pastor Tim only chose to respond to my aforementioned letter 5 weeks after I had handed it off to him. But by then, it was much too late. Not only had too much time passed for me to keep my needy outstretched hand open for him, but circumstantially, my vocational situation had only grown that much more difficult for me to cope with.
Therefore, there was a deep seated sense of personal and spiritual rejection and negligence here that went far beyond a simple job loss, and it rocked me (& God's spirit within me) to the very core of my being. Hence, I believe, the fertile ground for suicidal thoughts and the horrific extenuating trauma brought on by PTSD.
-------------------------
The Bible mentions "grieving God's spirit" a few times. It also talks an awful lot about God's emotional state of mind (this is especially true with the Old Testament). The former, to me, for such a time as this, has much to do with Rob being "impressed upon" by the latter. To put it another way, God's spirit within me responds to my life circumstances, and from there, I experience His return that's therefore aligned with his emotional state of being. Call it Heavenly Father empathy if you will.
Similarly, I believe God's spirit, that resides within Rob, positions itself towards certain individuals who are brought into my sphere of influence due to this same holy empathy. And I've seen this occur even if I may not personally be drawn to those / that particular individual(s). Upon discovering this, it has been hugely impressed upon my heart, therefore I think on it often.
-------------------------
Lastly, how does this apply to Samson Society?
God's spirit within me draws me in or repels me from certain Samson guys depending on circumstance / need. It also tempers my heart, allowing me to be far more patient / interested than Rob truly is or ever would be.
As most of you know, I love men. But that doesn't apply to every one. It can't. But God's spirit within me is far greater and more interested than I ever could be.
It is such a privilege to be a vessel for God's Holy Spirit. I'm a better man for it. To God be the glory!
The undeniable truth is this: Samson Society is built on God's spirit doing its good work in and through Samson guys as we support each other via relational accountability.
Jesus ascended into heaven, having spent 30 or so additional days on the Earth after his resurrection from the dead. He stated that it would be better for him to exit than stay in order for the Holy Spirit to "relieve him" (my way of seeing it) here on Earth.
In all honesty, I've never put much thought into whom or why he said that 'till recently. Therefore, what you're about to read is my take on an important foundational topic of Scripture from the point of view of a Reformed Christian.
-------------------------
When I was lassoed in by the gospel at age 13, I have no doubt the Holy Spirit entered in. I credit it's help with so many righteous decisions / periods of enduring suffering well, though I'll be the first to admit that I was far from perfect. But what I've never considered is how God's spirit affects 47-year old Rob day to day as I go about living my life. The Bible is clear that our bodies are vessels for God's spirit to "make itself home" within. Therefore, this notion that post-conversion God's spirit might overstay its welcome, or simply cease to be present doesn't line up with Scripture. In fact, it's more in line with the homeyness analogy which would be, as time advances, God's spirit only becomes that much more integrated within.
-------------------------
When my wife became a mother to our first child, her identity as Angie changed. It wasn't that she became someone else, but due to her birthing Caroline, it was as if another permanent point of view was put in place simultaneously.
Let me give you an example of this.
Angie detests being out in the heat because she physiologically reacts to it almost immediately by perspiring profusely. Literally all over her body, within a matter of a few minutes, she looks as if she's been out in the scorching hot sun for over an hour. When she was a student at Baylor (very hot fall semesters), she loathed having to walk across campus to class due to the inevitable perspiration on her face, in her hair, etc. that she'd have to cope with whilst walking and during her class. And this issue has stigmatized her literally to the point of pretty much never walking outside the house unless it's less than 85 degrees F. Interestingly enough, her father had this same physiological quirk, and I must say that I'm thankful it wasn't passed along to any of our 3 little sinners.
Our oldest daughter is a varsity dancer, therefore at every high school football game, she's there with the team, shaking her ass at the fans. As part of this, there's tailgating and so forth that we as "dance team parents" are encouraged to be a part of. Well, you dear reader already know how I feel at high school football games.
Inevitably, the first 4 or 5 games are played within quite uncomfortable climate conditions here within the Magnolia state, and this is especially true considering the tailgating food frenzy starts 90 minutes prior to kickoff. And guess who's there despite the heat? At each and every home game? My sweet, profusely sweaty Angie. And, of course, she's all smiles and in good spirits as the mother of Caroline.
-------------------------
90 days after being terminated from my job at Delta State for breaking their Information Technology policy, I wasn't experiencing any emotional healing. If anything was happening, I was actually becoming more despondent. During the initial 30 days (this was about this time of year in 2013), I lost 14 pounds, slept no more than 3 to 4 hours a night, and experienced hopelessness like I'd never experienced in my life. You would have thought that I'd lost a child or was going through a divorce had only the qualitative emotional suffering been taken into account. Eventually, I soon discovered that I had developed PTSD due to the severity of the emotional trauma, therefore from there, I found myself on an 18 month collision course dealing with daily flashbacks of the termination and subsequent emotional fallout.
Leading up to that termination was a point of spiritual reckoning for me that I had no clue how to come to grips with. Essentially, 3 months prior to that fateful day, I wrote a letter to our pastor at Covenant Presbyterian Church which specifically asked him for help with my continued struggle with sexual sin. Well before that letter was penned (soon after we joined the congregation), he became privy to my former blog, The Architect's Garage, which detailed my entire struggle with homosexual desire, porn, my faith, and so forth. Unfortunately, Pastor Tim only chose to respond to my aforementioned letter 5 weeks after I had handed it off to him. But by then, it was much too late. Not only had too much time passed for me to keep my needy outstretched hand open for him, but circumstantially, my vocational situation had only grown that much more difficult for me to cope with.
Therefore, there was a deep seated sense of personal and spiritual rejection and negligence here that went far beyond a simple job loss, and it rocked me (& God's spirit within me) to the very core of my being. Hence, I believe, the fertile ground for suicidal thoughts and the horrific extenuating trauma brought on by PTSD.
-------------------------
The Bible mentions "grieving God's spirit" a few times. It also talks an awful lot about God's emotional state of mind (this is especially true with the Old Testament). The former, to me, for such a time as this, has much to do with Rob being "impressed upon" by the latter. To put it another way, God's spirit within me responds to my life circumstances, and from there, I experience His return that's therefore aligned with his emotional state of being. Call it Heavenly Father empathy if you will.
Similarly, I believe God's spirit, that resides within Rob, positions itself towards certain individuals who are brought into my sphere of influence due to this same holy empathy. And I've seen this occur even if I may not personally be drawn to those / that particular individual(s). Upon discovering this, it has been hugely impressed upon my heart, therefore I think on it often.
-------------------------
Lastly, how does this apply to Samson Society?
God's spirit within me draws me in or repels me from certain Samson guys depending on circumstance / need. It also tempers my heart, allowing me to be far more patient / interested than Rob truly is or ever would be.
As most of you know, I love men. But that doesn't apply to every one. It can't. But God's spirit within me is far greater and more interested than I ever could be.
It is such a privilege to be a vessel for God's Holy Spirit. I'm a better man for it. To God be the glory!
The undeniable truth is this: Samson Society is built on God's spirit doing its good work in and through Samson guys as we support each other via relational accountability.
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