Harkens Back

Is there any more definitive venue than high school football games that parlay out the masculine and feminine roles?  Teenagers expertly ramp this up considerably with their hormones and cliche demeanor.  Athletes, cheerleaders, dance squads.  Drum line, flag girls, mascots.  And on and on it goes.  Everyone has their specific role with absolutely no overlap.  Males here.  Females there.  This uniform, that uniform.  That build.  That pose.  Those rituals.

I would know because I too was once a teen, and during my high school career, I spent most every Friday night at the football field.  Rob attended a small private academy in Madison.  Having graduated in 1990, this school was definitely not in its prime academically, but from an athletics standpoint, we held our ground quite well.

My involvement in the marching band is what dictated my attendance at each and every game.  I played clarinet when I wasn't drum majoring.  I did this because my backside is my best side, therefore what better way to make a good impression?

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Yesterday, I had lunch with my oldest friend.  Like myself, he has an 11th grade daughter who's attending a sizable local high school.  I asked if he attended the Friday night football games.  He said no, but that his daughter did with her friends.

This friend adores football, and his daughter's high school team is renowned for being very competitive, therefore why didn't he attend the games with her, taking his younger son along too?

He decreed that because it's varsity football, he's uninterested.  Hmmm....

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I experience feelings of worthlessness whilst attending my daughter's high school football games, but despite this fact, I'm there at every home game due to the fact that Caroline (my 11th grade daughter) is on the dance team.

Where are these feelings originating from?

Frankly, I'm not completely sure, but I do know it has a lot to do with how attending these games harkens back to my teenage years.

Imagine feeling like a plant, say a Holly Bush, whilst watching / playing music at your high school's football games.  That's how I felt as a teenager.  Literally.  Plants are simply background here in Mississippi due to the fact that they're everywhere.  Also, plants come across as asexual.  Too, that was an identifier for me.

Also, plants have no brain.  Again, I can relate.  The game of football, for the longest time, befuddled me, but that was especially the case in high school.  I simply could not keep up with whom had the ball, what down it was, and which team was headed in which direction.

So, last night at the Northwest Rankin versus Gulfport High football game, I was the Holly Bush in the stands.  Certainly, I'd grown a little since 1988, but overall, I was still just a benign plant.  And frankly, it prompted many more negative feelings than I'd like to be dealing with right now.

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Now, back to my old friend whom I mentioned earlier.

Jesse had a shitty high school experience.  I know this because he's described it to me.  He went to public school down in south Mississippi, and he was the consummate outcast.  Some of the hi-jinx he endured, were I to record them here, would make you cringe in vicarious shame.

And that's why (I believe) he steers clear of his daughter's high school football games.  For him, college served as a relief valve.  An escape from hell in so many ways.  Therefore, his Mississippi State Bulldogs, he lives to support through and through in honor of that specific collegiate era of his life.

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It is so weird feeling like a fucking plant.