Samson Society meetings provide a safehaven for men to be heard without fear of being questioned / reprimanded / counseled. It's the one hour of the week (depending on how many meetings you attend) when you're free to have the floor for a few precious minutes, knowing what you're choosing to articulate will be heard, processed, and respectfully considered amongst the other men present sans any follow up questions / discussion whatsoever.
Outside of that setting, it's a free for all. Which is really quite scary to consider when you think about all of the opportunities there are for each of us to ask unhelpful questions of each other.
Over the past 7 days, I've met with a number of individuals who've taken upon themselves their choosing to ask Rob stupid and therefore really hurtful questions. Now, I've certainly asked my fair share of similarly stupid questions of people over the years, and they were undoubtedly legitimate questions that had popped into my brain. But, oh, how I wished I could unask them soon thereafter!
I admit, I'm a curious guy, but despite this, some questions need never be asked out of respect for the other party.
So, how to know a non-antagonistic question from one that isn't, and what to do internally whilst dealing with the fallout of being asked a stupid, hurtful question?
Regarding the former question, there's no rule of thumb here, but I will say this. Look at your own state of mind. Closely. If you're truly in a good place where you're only considering the needs of your companion over your own self, then that's a solid indicator to proceed with your inquiry. Otherwise, be very cautious and suspicious of exactly what good (if any) might actually spring forth from your question(s).
Too, don't ever ask obvious questions or questions that are impossible to answer well no matter how smart / emotionally in tune the individual is that you're curious to ask. Those should always be off limits.
Regarding the latter question, remember your own failings and be mindful of the fact (regarding repeat stupid question offenders) that certain people find much pleasure in "stirring the pot". Make of it what you will and how you might choose to respond to these, but they do live (and lead) among-st us. And yes, one of their primary toolsets are stupid, hurtful questions to get people riled up.
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I have learned and will continue to learn so much about the importance of listening via my attendance of Samson Society meetings. That being said, I've yet to encounter a venue that reinforces how best to ask / vet quality questions, but if I find one, I'll be sure to pass it along.
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