Some veteran Jackson Mississippi Samson guys' musings, recommended resources, and Samson Society news / updates (all written by 100% Grade A - Human Intelligence)
Weekly meetings available to you are as follows:
Tuesday at 6:30 PM, Truitt Baptist Church - Pearl. Call Matt Flint at (601) 260-8518 or email him at matthewflint.makes@gmail.com.
Wednesday at 6:00 PM, First Baptist Church Jackson - Summit Counseling Suite - 431 North State St. Jackson. Call Don Waller at 601-946-1290 or email him at don@wallerbros.com.
Monday at 6:30 PM , Vertical Church - 521 Gluckstadt Road Madison, MS 39110. Mr. Roane Hunter, facilitator, LifeWorks Counseling.
Wednesday at 7:00 PM, Crossgates Baptist Church. Brandon Reach out to Matthew Lehman at (601)-214-4077 for further info.
Sunday night at 6:00 PM, Grace Crossing Baptist Church - 598 Yandell Rd. Canton. Call Joe McCalman at 601-201-5608 or email him at cookandnoonie@gmail.com.
Monday, November 15, 2021
Wednesday, September 22, 2021
Help Me Lord With These Feelings
Greek yogurt is yogurt that's essentially in a concentrated form. It's like drinking orange juice concentrate in lieu of fresh squeezed orange juice. If you've ever eaten it, its consistency is like that of spackle, therefore as such, it's a much less appealing dairy treat to most than traditional Yoplait.
If you were to consider the ingredients of Greek yogurt, you'd find a LOT more milk is needed to concoct it than its much less pricey (& mainstream) cousin.
Tuesday, June 22, 2021
Angie's Gift / Rob's Reward
The first two years of my marriage to Angie were completely unexpected but also indirectly endearing. Angie spent those years in bondage to the throes of general anxiety disorder while I sat back in awe & pity of how debilitating a mental illness could be to an individual.
Tuesday, June 8, 2021
How To React When A Tenured Spouse (Who Happens To Also Be A Co-Parent) Either Over Or Understeps (Relative To Their God-Given Role Within The Family)
Circumstances within a married household (w/ or w/o children) bring about consistent change. For instance, there are changes in daily / weekly schedules and subsequently expectations and demands change. These circumstances / demands are often tied to milestones, such as summer break / school starting or simply the maturation of various offspring.
Therefore, what tends to happen amidst all this fluidity is mom and dad sometimes overstep / understep within their individual, God-given roles. Why? Because they're imperfect, therefore we easily forget - at times - our various roles / responsibilities.
Monday, May 17, 2021
Please Pray For My Sweet Wife, Angie
If you'd had one stroke, you're high risk for having more. Those are the statistics.
Friday, April 30, 2021
"Now That I'm Divorced, When's It Appropriate To Start Dating Again?"
It depends on two things.
Tuesday, April 13, 2021
The Hardest Days To Be A Christian
Friday, March 19, 2021
Brave Man Here - Recommended Reading
Why Tyler Hubbard Thinks a Healthy Sex Life Is "Crucial" To Parenting - E! Online
Wednesday, February 17, 2021
The Ultimate Influencer, Your Mistress' Suitor (You)
I believe women are more competitive than men overall. And when I say that, I'm specifically addressing women competing against women relative to their attention / engagement with the opposite sex.
Tuesday, November 24, 2020
The Other You, The Rebellious One
I've been "catching up" on Madonna's music over the past few days, and frankly, it hasn't changed any since I heard her first tune as a child. Growing up in the '80s, it was impossible to not be immersed culturally in all things Madonna. Her music / image was as ubiquitous during that decade as Elvis / the Beatles were during decades prior.
Saturday, October 17, 2020
Is It Wise For A Married Man To Compliment A Woman - Regarding Her Looks / Attire - Who Isn't His Wife (Regardless Of This Lovely Woman's Marital Status)?
It is unwise. Do not do this. Even if you're friends with the woman, work closely with / supervise her within a vocational / volunteer setting, etc. Even if her attire / looks is / are extraordinarily beautiful / attractive to you or you as a married man are much older than her, and therefore you see her more as a daughter. Do not do it.
Just don't.
And on that same note, never, ever write her a thank you note for a job well done. Instead, compliment her face to face but with other team members / supervisors present and be very specific as to what she did so well within your eyes - as her supervisor from you as a supervisor with a supervisor's point of view.
Hopefully, you catch my drift here relative to how easily your words can be misconstrued.
-------------------------
Why?
Sunday, October 4, 2020
Teamwork At Church / The Ultimate Silas Assignment
If you're married, you have a partner, and this can especially be apparent within public settings / venues. For Angie and I, one of those repetitive marital venues is church attendance. We, as a family, worship most every Sunday, and prior to the pandemic, we were also present on Wednesday nights - religiously - at Lakeside Pres.
For me, as Angie's husband, I'm a textbook introvert, therefore church attendance is an energy drain. Not a massive one, but nonetheless, a drain. As a result, I tend to be prickly / easily flustered at church because of this involuntary slow energy drain. Frankly, I resent it.
My wife is not within this same temperament camp despite her quiet demeanor, therefore church for her is a very different experience.
Hence, I'm a backseat Baptist while she's headed to the front row. She's interested in lingering after the service, in order to socialize, while I'm making a beeline to the door immediately following the benediction.
-------------------------
Thursday, September 3, 2020
When The Happiest Man I Know Is Not So Happy / Identity Through Politics - Part Two
I attended a men's retreat (pre-Samson Society involvement) back in February of 2014 outside of Jackson, and my big takeaway from that particularly grueling 48 hours was being dubbed "flamboyant" by the retreat leader. And he adjudicated this label to me immediately following me pouring out my heart (telling my story) for 20 minutes in front of everyone in attendance (+/-30 men). It truly was the most derogatory insult I've experienced in recent memory, doled out by a respected local Christian counselor.
Growing up in the '80s, the role models for homosexual men were flamboyant. And for me personally, this included my high school science teacher. All of this played a significant role in me understanding that I had no place within that community. Flamboyant, in my mind, equated to one being completely at the mercy of their emotions.
Today, I still see a lot of this flamboyance, and it positions me to be that much further resolved in never, ever embracing / honoring the homosexual lifestyle.
Why?
-------------------------
I'm definitely a sexist. It's impossible to be a complementarian Christian and not be.
Also, living with four women has made me that much more of one.
Now to return to my question of worthwhileness from my last post.
-------------------------
For women, emotional responses are absolutely worthwhile. It's in and through their emotions that they experience so much of life. And this complements their husbands who typically do not put nearly as much stock in feelings as they do.
Within our western culture, men and women are equal. It's all 50/50. He can do everything equally as well as she can and vice versa. I hear this from my teenage daughters who're just as eat up with culture as any.
The Bible runs counter to this and so does logic, but logic is often ridiculed within our culture and the Bible discounted.
One of the most sizable weaknesses women wrestle with is the relationship they have with their emotions.
Let me repeat that statement.
One of the most sizable weaknesses women wrestle with is the relationship they have with their emotions.
To be more specific, women can be easily manipulated in and through their feelings. And, of course, feelings are just that. Feelings. They come and go. Rise and fall. Intense. Diminished. And on and on.
And this is why women should depend on their man as it relates to this particular attribute / character trait.
But what if her man is a dumbass? Or simply isn't where he needs to be to lead in this regard? What if she's "been there, done that" and only ended up getting screwed by her man (whose taken advantage of her emotionally)?
Those are valid questions, but we're going to have to assume here that she has a solid, reliable husband, pastor, brother, friend next to her who's looking out for her best interests.
-------------------------
I watched my mother, whilst growing up, disregard her emotional beauty completely due to my father being quite inept as her man. It wasn't that he wasn't a great looking guy with an optimistic outlook. That he was. What was missing was that steadiness that most all young wives crave. In its place, my dad was an overgrown boy (at 18) who really had no business, at that time, being dubbed a husband - to anyone.
So, she became that steadiness herself within our threesome. And she'd seen this stopgap solution lived out within her own family as she grew up in the Mississippi Delta.
This attribute of steadiness is the polar opposite of flamboyant, and it's what I gravitate towards relative to the true joy of being a man. And as weird as it sounds, I learned it from my extremely feminine, strikingly beautiful mother. Therefore, it's due to her that I'm not / never will identifying myself as a gay man living a gay lifestyle with a pro-gay outlook.
-------------------------
In closing, social media and cable TV are designed first and foremost to incite an emotional response from everyone who consumes it. And it pits all of us against each other whilst doing so. Otherwise, no one would devote the countless wasted time glued to all forms of it.
Because women bank their emotions as worthwhile (remember Part One of this post), these two (social media / cable TV) are optimized to the nth degree for the female consumer. And along those same lines, it's a fact that men and women consume social media very differently due to their wiring.
Mark Zuckerberg is leading the technological charge in exploiting the attributes of both sexes and our now cultural norms (men and women are 50/50). Brilliant guy, he is.
-------------------------
Where to go to shore up ourselves as men, on behalf of our wives / daughters and otherwise (who need us to be their steadiness)?
Samson Society, of course. It's as simple as that.
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Marinating In Sadness
A 1994 Honda Accord LX was Angie's first new car. Its color was "Bordeaux Red", and it served as the lynchpin relative to the dissonance that always existed between myself and her late father.
Angie's dad did the negotiating for her, here in Jackson, regarding the purchase of that car while she was living out of state. But, it wasn't long before I stepped in to oversee the care and maintenance of this new vehicle, and I did this out of love and respect for my fiancé. I remember vividly taking the time to initially detail the sedan. I did this out on the driveway of her parents' abode in northeast Jackson whilst checking the fluids, air pressure in the tires, etc. My father in-law was taken aback by the initiative I took in this regard, and no doubt felt encroached upon. For Angie was his only daughter, and they had always been very, very close. But now, in his place was this weirdo Turner boy who seemed to have an affinity for car detailing.
Angie's vehicle today is a 2011 Kia Sedona minivan that's white in color. Due to her recent health issues, it hasn't been driven much at all as of late. Yesterday, I drove it to the office just to exercise it a bit. On the way home, I stopped at the car wash prior to detailing it thoroughly in our driveway (w/ some much obliged help from my two oldest daughters).
The reality that this vehicle may never be driven again by my wife hit me this morning as I admired its spotless shine. It really does look extraordinary - inside & out - for an almost decade old vehicle. From there, I vowed to exercise it again sometime next month.
I drove to work pleading with God to not allow Angie to ever have another stroke despite our earnest attempts to be joyful during this season of suffering. Seeing firsthand the impact on her quality of life has been so very hard to bear.
Sunday, August 9, 2020
The Asymmetrical Skank Versus A Feminine Beauty To Serve / Protect
Years ago, a 401(k) recordkeeper wholesaler came by to visit our office (for the first time), and as I usually attempt to do, I worked hard to make "get to know you" conversation. It's important to note that every recordkeeper wholesaler that I've met (so far) is male, and I'm not really sure why that is. From there, somehow, the dialogue turned towards marriage / divorce, and I believe that pivot took root from a comment I made relative to a Third Party Administrator rep who'd recently announced the end of his marriage. Out of implied mutual concern, I'd wondered perhaps if this wholesaler might have known this TPA friend of mine, but from what I can recall of his reaction, he did not.
Therefore, I went on to detail my surprise at hearing of my friend's pending divorce, but especially from the standpoint that the man's wife was a noted, locally recognized sex therapist. Not that I - across the board - assume that 401(k) TPAs and sex therapist aren't ever to have marital issues, but "they seemed so happy", at least according to what I'd witnessed secondhand (hearsay).
From there, the wholesaler made a comment that really unsettled me.
Essentially, he stated that wives must at times act like a skank in order to please their husbands / keep their marriages on solid ground.
Now, in looking back on this conversation, I'm not so sure I'd ever heard that word. Skank. Nevertheless, I knew what the word meant, and when I heard him annunciate it, I remember wanting to unhear it because it didn't sit well with me in the least.
-------------------------
Wives not adequately servicing their husbands in bed - out of duty to them - and thereby "disrespecting" these men, by "forcing them to find sexual relief elsewhere" is so not in line with my understanding of marriage, but I've heard this rationale before from prominent Christian pastors / counselors. And there's a part of me that's wondered if my stance regarding this might be due to my same sex attraction, but having taking the time to look at my own marriage, which has been rooted in scripture from the beginning (though by no means perfectly), I don't buy into this notion that wives are tasked by God to be some version of a matrimonial sexbot.
The absolute clarifier for me regarding this is fornication. This is the sexual relationship prior to marriage that's forbidden by God, but today is the norm. Men and women live together sans ever marrying and are perfectly content with this arrangement.
Why?
I believe expectations relative to themselves and their romantic partners have a lot to do it (& not just regarding performance in bed), and thereby the control implied within the "shack up" arrangement simply makes sense to them. Conversely, with moral standards thrown out the window, all bets could be off regarding ever maintaining the faithfulness implied within the pretend marriage. Hence, there's flexibility there to cheat without really cheating since everything was agreed upon on a napkin.
Marriage is first and foremost about faith in God and trust in both yourself and each other, and that's a big, big deal that many no longer see a use for. Besides the legal contract itself, those things alone are enough to keep many lovers from taking the plunge, but especially so if enjoyable, non-procreation sex before marriage is readily available.
What marriage isn't is a test of wills or some version of performance art. No, that falls back into the fornication camp that we discussed earlier.
-------------------------
What all this boils down to within my mind is the following: Women / wives are absolutely not equal to men / husbands relative to the sexual aspects of a marriage or any romantic relationship for that matter. And no, even taking all the available prophylactics available nowadays into consideration, giving women a sense of complete control over their reproductive cycle, this still doesn't even things up for me. There simply ain't no truth in the sexual revolution, baby, and there never has been.
-------------------------
One additional anecdote here, and I'll work to wrap this post up.
A vaccine for children was released years ago that immunizes them from HPV. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease that's transmitted during sex via genital warts that occur on the infected's skin. These warts can vary in size and shape along with quantity, therefore taking note of them early on isn't always a viable given for those infected. Females who contract HPV are at higher risk for developing cervical cancer later in life, therefore it behooves them to avoid HPV at all cost.
I was curious as to what a male doctor friend (who is also a father of teenage daughters) had in mind relative to vaccinating his own with this medical preventative. His response was as follows: If my daughters will only keep to their faithfulness to God, they'll be no need to worry about them contracting HPV.
It was an earnest answer, but it left out the reality of how some women - even Christian women - become infected by the virus. That being, by men, who are at times their husbands, who've no clue that they've been infected via their promiscuous lovemaking. Again, to me, this callousness points back to this cattywompus notion that women / girls are in no way vulnerable / at risk here to man's stupidity, and I simply don't buy that.
-------------------------
I have been convicted more and more as of late as a man / husband relative to the sexual influence I have / have had over women who I come in contact with / have come in contact with throughout the week / throughout my life. Now, hear me out here. I'm not referring to myself as some sort of on-the-prowl super stud. I know there are men who fall into that camp. I've met them and have even been in their midst enough to know personally of the massive damage they entail via their constant sexual shenanigans.
For me, I'm referring to primarily a lookback relative to my teenage years forward, taking into consideration exactly what romantic opportunities were put in front of me and how I chose to respond to those. And yes, I know that sounds chauvinistic - as if it's all one sided (me versus sexbots?). But I'm convinced that had my mind been more open to what sexual influence I actually wielded back then (high school / college days), a few females would have clearly been taken advantage of by none other than me. How exactly they would have responded to those advances is a moot point here not only historically but morally as well (refer back to my diatribe on fornication if need be).
So many men / boys are keenly aware of their sexual influence on / over the opposite sex. That was not and still isn't me. It's like it was hard-wired into their psyches. And I would take that a step farther by arguing that many often use that "know-how" to their advantage whilst satiating their libidos and leaving plenty of emotional / relational damage in their wake.
In closing, I've been recently convicted of God's protective handiwork regarding my personal noninfluence over the teenage girls I gravitated towards platonically in high school. Thanks be to God for this.
Sunday, July 5, 2020
Packaged sin
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
Post-Stroke Coitus Therapy (Penis Power)
Monday, June 1, 2020
Dirty Old Man / The Allure Of The Seductress - Part 1
Yet, here I was sitting next to this Dirty Old Man on his couch watching the CRT screen as it projected an image that was just too shocking yet also too enthralling for me to look away from for those few minutes.
-------------------------
Regularly, when I was a child, neighbors of ours would babysit me after school 'till early evening as my mother worked. This couple was a little younger than my 'rents, and they had two daughters of their own. The mother of this household had parents who also lived within our 'hood, and therefore on rare occasion (thankfully), I would be left with them instead (especially if it were over the weekend). Her parents lived within a ranch house just as everyone else did within "Traceland North" that had the inevitable CRT TV cabinet stationed within the living / den space.
The Dirty Old Man (my regular babysitter's father) worked as a mailman. I vividly remember this. He was small in stature and not surprisingly, there was a striking physical resemblance between father / daughter. And, in many ways, this resemblance also carried over into their personas. Callous / jaded are the best words I can come up with to describe both of them based on the vestiges from +/-40 years prior.
-------------------------
So, here I was on this humid Summer evening on St. Augustine Dr. in Madison (just a few houses down from my own) back in the early '80s watching porn next to this Dirty Old Man. I remember he kept flipping between the porn channel he desperately wanted to watch and others, but eventually, he simply stationed himself on the images of the countless beauties all lined up and exposing their voluptuous breasts. To describe it further, a mainstreamish porn program was airing that was essentially a topless beauty pageant, and I believe the host was someone akin to a lookalike, very aroused Lyle Waggoner.
Thankfully, the Dirty Old Man's wife eventually strolled into the den and scolded him for watching the smut, and this seeded enough conviction for him to flip the channel away from it for good.
Nonetheless, the damage had been done despite there only being a few minutes of exposure on my part.
-------------------------
I've had men tell me that they've had similar childhood experiences with their own version of the Dirty Old Man, but usually theirs didn't have the element of obvious conflicted seductiveness that mine did. And what I'm referring to is the allure of the smut that I witnessed as a boy and its affect / impact on the Dirty Old Man. Please know, I have no recollection of him attempting to "usher me into the world of men" or anything of that sort on this particular evening. If anything, he was simply annoyed that I was even there that night due to the fact that my presence was no doubt agitating his own very horny conscience. Therefore, not only was I interrupting his private pleasure viewing but no doubt taking up precious space within his rancher.
So what of the allure of the seductress through porn or even within day to day life coupled with the role of the Dirty Old Man? Is it she or he (or both) that's to blame here? If so, why? Aren't women rightfully qualified to harness whatever means possible to enjoy their lives / promote their own welfare? Too, aren't men at times simply qualified as rightfully Dirty when they find themselves facing their arousal templates (within beautiful women or otherwise)? Sexuality is a gift from God, is it not? Therefore, why did this feel so very wrong to me as a boy?
-------------------------
Years ago, "Friend Finder" is what an old friend of mine called the hookup site he utilized to connect with two local women remotely. He took both of these new "Friends" on dates before deciding on one in particular as his newly found romantic partner. This friend of mine (we'll call him Dean) hadn't dated anyone for as long as I'd known him (+/-5 years). Instead, it was his many pets that he adored (literally) during what little downtime he had, as he worked long hours as an electrician. I suppose hookup sites like "Friend Finder" were catered somewhat to introverted men like Dean. Nonetheless, I remember clearly inviting Dean to bring his new "Friend" with him to my parents' abode for dinner one night in an attempt to respectfully celebrate his newfound relationship. I did this out of honor and respect for my friend.
First and foremost, the woman he was now dating was physically captivating. I distinctly remember being caught off guard by how seductive she looked when she stepped out of the car there on my parents' driveway.
Dean had family money (primarily in the form of land). Lots of it (for Mississippi). For that reason as well as his new "Friend's" propensity to encourage Dean to consume alcohol (he was an alcoholic as his father was), Dean's family immediately (mother, sister) grew very suspicious quickly.
But, oh my goodness, this woman was absolutely sexual, ramped up to level ten. And this seductiveness combined with Dean's years of chastity ushered him into a sexual sin-laden milieu that crushed / warped his pre-"Friend Finder" hyper-rational self.
-------------------------
As an aside, only on one occasion have I seen a Samson man describe his wife as a sex addict. In essence, blaming her obliquely for their marriage's travails. And in response to this shocking revelation, I didn't actually find the sex addict title to necessarily run afoul with my impression of her and her story (as told over time by him to me). Oddly enough, seeing the two of them together with their children coincidentally seemed to actually confirm some of what he'd shared. She was off the charts confident in her poise within any and all situations. And again, her sexualness too, was ramped up to level ten just as my aforementioned old friend's (Dean) lover's was.
Summing these two ladies up here as follows: Considering a man like myself (w/ my sexual hard wiring), for these two ladies to invoke even a tad bit of interest / arousal, absolutely proved their "sexualized merit".
--------------------------
In closing, Dean's aforementioned "Found Friend" would eventually begin stalking him by sitting in her car outside the restaurant where we'd be eating during the Samson Society "After Meeting". Dean overtly refused to not answer her text messages, therefore this served as a means for her to track his whereabouts - even whilst attempting to get help via our Christian community. Eventually, Dean and his "Friend" had a physical altercation at her home (whilst shacking up) that involved one of Dean's beloved handguns. By God's grace, despite the gun going off, no one was hurt. This event thankfully served as a wakeup call for Dean to move out as the attorney fees hit his pocketbook relative to the assault charges she filed against him.
-------------------------
More questions for us to look into in the future. Why is it that fornication is considered sin according to Scripture? I know I've asked this question before within other posts, but obviously it has a multi-faceted answer.
Why is it that Jesus demanded the obedience of his followers' sexual thought life?
-------------------------
An old Presbyterian friend of mine used to cite the Scriptural passages that equated sexual sin to harnessing fire outside of a secure firebox (fireplace), and therefore demonstratively wreaking uncontrolled havoc on those who handled it so stupidly.
This analogy makes me think every time about my parents as teenagers and the ramifications of their collective poor choices, but primarily, I think about the power that so many women choose to so masterfully wield alongside the Dirty Men (old or otherwise) who play their own role within that seductive dance. This power and this role we'll discuss further next time. For I believe, it is one of the most personally capitalistic relationships that exists today within our western world.