Thursday, March 19, 2020
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
2020 Samson Society Retreat. Something To Look Forward To.
Registration link can be found here. Highly recommended.
Degrees Of Vulnerability / Predisposition to Negative Influence
The second library design I had the good fortune of working on as an architect (around 2001) received an additional building plaque upon the building's completion. This bronze plaque was a tad bit smaller scale than the standard plaque (which sat adjacent), and it was cast in honor of the director of the library system herself.
The library system that we worked for relative to designing the building had lost their director to cancer just a few months prior to the building being completed. I'd only worked with her for a few months during the planning phase prior to her getting very sick and having to forego her work as director. This woman was young. If I had to guess, I'd say around my age today (47) or younger, and like every librarian I've ever had the privilege to work with, she was articulate and intelligent with so much steadfastness.
Yesterday, I went to a park in Jackson to run, and due to the superb Spring weather, there were Jacksonians everywhere walking, running, and talking on their pocket computers (all at the same time). Obviously since I was in Jackson, most of these people were black which left me in the minority as a white man, and this got me thinking about blacks in relation to COVID-19.
The aforementioned library system director, Rose, was black. In fact, she was the first professional black woman I'd had the privilege to work with here in Mississippi (which was very cool). After she died, I came across some research that detailed how blacks are more prone to succumb to illness than other races. Illnesses like cancer, heart disease, diabetes type 2...the incurable, life-threatening ones. And this was due to the fact that their bodies don't respond as well to typical forms of medical treatment.
I remember how sad this made me for Rose as well as the entire black community. Especially considering that so many blacks live here in Mississippi. Having grown up here, it was eye-opening to learn this about their race. Because whites and blacks stay so segregated from each other here in Mississippi, it's hard to be sympathetic at all due to the distance that's always there between our two races.
And of course, this got me thinking about the current pandemic, and how perhaps the black community may be more at risk than other races to suffer more / succumb to the virus. Or vice versa. Scary, macabre stuff, I know, but it's difficult not to think about the macabre these days.
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I recall, many years ago, the first commercial air flight I took where the majority of passengers had a tablet device with them. A new friend, sitting adjacent, had one, and he was excited about "HBO GO" or somesuch app that had recently come available. He talked (believe it or not) briefly about recently finalized / concluded HBO programming which he'd obviously enjoyed immensely. Based on what I understood, the HBO GO app would now allow him to seamlessly take the content with him on the go.
When I was a teen, HBO was Home Box Office. It was film content (all PG-rated before 6 PM during weekdays) with some Fraggle Rock thrown in for good measure. HBO was "premium TV programming", and as such cost as much or more than all your other cable programming combined. Hence, few families (here in MS at least) purchased it back in the '80s.
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Terminator was the first R-rated film I believe I screened (in its almost entirety), thanks to HBO (at my best friend's house - one weekend). I vividly remember sitting adjacent to my friend's older sister (she was 16), and having her detail the following commentary to my 14 year-old self as she provided visual aids with her hands.
"I bet his dick is this long."
Even today, whilst recounting that moment, I feel dirty inside. Knowing full well that I shouldn't have been watching due to the corrupting impression that was occurring in real time.
But what was I to do? How could I possibly look away / leave the room?
I was simply too vulnerable to resist.
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Hollywood is owned by the public. The companies that make films, small screen programming are publicly owned. Therefore, they answer firstly to their shareholders. And their shareholders are concerned with nothing more than market value and dividends. Therefore, Hollywood entertainment studios push the boundaries constantly in order to grab as much of the public's attention as they can. And more often than not, that content is hyper-sexualized due to the fact that so many of us are vulnerable to it.
They do not concern themselves with whom is watching. They do not see that as their business.
There's big money to be made in Hollywood. At the expense of so many.
But, as we know, the accumulation of material wealth is first and foremost within the minds of men. People will do just about anything to get rich.
-------------------------
Where are you vulnerable? Do you know? What steps have you taken to protect yourself? What did that first foray into filth look like for you? What were the specific circumstances where your young eyes were taken advantage of? I believe it's important that you document that to yourself in order to attempt to make peace with it if you believe you'd benefit from it. And finally, are you willing to add to Hollywood's coffers when they refuse to take anyone or anything but their balance sheets into consideration?
A new Samson Society friend told me recently that he'd given his television to a brother in Christ for safekeeping. I thought that was so brave of him to admit to. Especially considering the fact that his employer is partially an entertainment company. Sure, it sounds extreme, but I would argue, during this day and age, extreme measures are needed if you're serious about protecting yourself from your own personal weaknesses.
Put yourself first in this regard. Always. Don't pretend that we're all hardwired the same. That's what our culture (& Satan) attempts to use to deceive us all. Either that or he whispers in our ear that we deserve to be entertained with salacious material. And we all know that's nothing but a crock of shit.
The library system that we worked for relative to designing the building had lost their director to cancer just a few months prior to the building being completed. I'd only worked with her for a few months during the planning phase prior to her getting very sick and having to forego her work as director. This woman was young. If I had to guess, I'd say around my age today (47) or younger, and like every librarian I've ever had the privilege to work with, she was articulate and intelligent with so much steadfastness.
Yesterday, I went to a park in Jackson to run, and due to the superb Spring weather, there were Jacksonians everywhere walking, running, and talking on their pocket computers (all at the same time). Obviously since I was in Jackson, most of these people were black which left me in the minority as a white man, and this got me thinking about blacks in relation to COVID-19.
The aforementioned library system director, Rose, was black. In fact, she was the first professional black woman I'd had the privilege to work with here in Mississippi (which was very cool). After she died, I came across some research that detailed how blacks are more prone to succumb to illness than other races. Illnesses like cancer, heart disease, diabetes type 2...the incurable, life-threatening ones. And this was due to the fact that their bodies don't respond as well to typical forms of medical treatment.
I remember how sad this made me for Rose as well as the entire black community. Especially considering that so many blacks live here in Mississippi. Having grown up here, it was eye-opening to learn this about their race. Because whites and blacks stay so segregated from each other here in Mississippi, it's hard to be sympathetic at all due to the distance that's always there between our two races.
And of course, this got me thinking about the current pandemic, and how perhaps the black community may be more at risk than other races to suffer more / succumb to the virus. Or vice versa. Scary, macabre stuff, I know, but it's difficult not to think about the macabre these days.
-------------------------
I recall, many years ago, the first commercial air flight I took where the majority of passengers had a tablet device with them. A new friend, sitting adjacent, had one, and he was excited about "HBO GO" or somesuch app that had recently come available. He talked (believe it or not) briefly about recently finalized / concluded HBO programming which he'd obviously enjoyed immensely. Based on what I understood, the HBO GO app would now allow him to seamlessly take the content with him on the go.
When I was a teen, HBO was Home Box Office. It was film content (all PG-rated before 6 PM during weekdays) with some Fraggle Rock thrown in for good measure. HBO was "premium TV programming", and as such cost as much or more than all your other cable programming combined. Hence, few families (here in MS at least) purchased it back in the '80s.
-------------------------
Terminator was the first R-rated film I believe I screened (in its almost entirety), thanks to HBO (at my best friend's house - one weekend). I vividly remember sitting adjacent to my friend's older sister (she was 16), and having her detail the following commentary to my 14 year-old self as she provided visual aids with her hands.
"I bet his dick is this long."
Even today, whilst recounting that moment, I feel dirty inside. Knowing full well that I shouldn't have been watching due to the corrupting impression that was occurring in real time.
But what was I to do? How could I possibly look away / leave the room?
I was simply too vulnerable to resist.
-------------------------
Hollywood is owned by the public. The companies that make films, small screen programming are publicly owned. Therefore, they answer firstly to their shareholders. And their shareholders are concerned with nothing more than market value and dividends. Therefore, Hollywood entertainment studios push the boundaries constantly in order to grab as much of the public's attention as they can. And more often than not, that content is hyper-sexualized due to the fact that so many of us are vulnerable to it.
They do not concern themselves with whom is watching. They do not see that as their business.
There's big money to be made in Hollywood. At the expense of so many.
But, as we know, the accumulation of material wealth is first and foremost within the minds of men. People will do just about anything to get rich.
-------------------------
Where are you vulnerable? Do you know? What steps have you taken to protect yourself? What did that first foray into filth look like for you? What were the specific circumstances where your young eyes were taken advantage of? I believe it's important that you document that to yourself in order to attempt to make peace with it if you believe you'd benefit from it. And finally, are you willing to add to Hollywood's coffers when they refuse to take anyone or anything but their balance sheets into consideration?
A new Samson Society friend told me recently that he'd given his television to a brother in Christ for safekeeping. I thought that was so brave of him to admit to. Especially considering the fact that his employer is partially an entertainment company. Sure, it sounds extreme, but I would argue, during this day and age, extreme measures are needed if you're serious about protecting yourself from your own personal weaknesses.
Put yourself first in this regard. Always. Don't pretend that we're all hardwired the same. That's what our culture (& Satan) attempts to use to deceive us all. Either that or he whispers in our ear that we deserve to be entertained with salacious material. And we all know that's nothing but a crock of shit.
Monday, March 16, 2020
Envelope Problem(s) / Forensic work needed
We've lived in our abode for almost 20 years. It's recently received a new roof, new HVAC system, and soon some new attic insulation (if the contractor will ever show up to do the work). Ever since we moved in, we've had (rain)water leaks under the wood floor (within our front room) at the front elevation of the house. These leaks, over the years, have moved around, but all in all, it's the same nuisance stains that we've simply grown accustomed to seeing (despite the numerous "repairs" / promises of repair that have been executed) in more or less the exact same place.
The results of these leaks are nasty, discolored (almost black) stains / discoloration within the wood that spread from the base of the exterior wall (right under the shoe mold) to about 18" towards the center of the room. It's not at all unlike looking at a foreboding negative bar chart descending into our living space.
As you might imagine, it looks really bad, and it's embarrassing to attempt to explain when new friends come over (so of course, we cover it up as best we can).
If we ever sell the house, something's obviously going to have to be did about this, and I'm afraid to think what it might cost / how much trouble it will be to accomplish.
-------------------------
A building's envelope consists of all of its exterior systems (roof / walls) working in tandem to protect the interior from the elements. Obviously, based on what I've described above, we have had some ongoing envelope problems at our home. And this proves that our home's envelope isn't doing the work it's supposed to be / was designed to do.
As Christian men, I believe we're also afforded an envelope that shelters our insides, and subsequently keeps us from being infringed upon emotionally. No matter the circumstance / degree of severity. And just to be clear, it's primarily anger that I'm wanting to laser in on going forward.
So often, said envelope isn't doing its job for guys, therefore our insides take on external elements that should have been easily shed / redirected from the get go. From there, he are forced to respond INTERNALLY now that the infiltration is undeniable.
BREACH!
Even though, had the envelope been doing its job, this response would have been unnecessary to begin with. In other words, it's no doubt impossible to ignore an uninvited guest.
In many ways, it's like one's initial exposure to hardcore porn - no matter the age or circumstance. I would argue in that instance, it's the breach itself and what it now represents that's most disturbing / makes the most impact versus the salicious material (& what it means to us). That instance is a pivot point. A lightening bolt moment that opens our eyes to who we are / have now become in regards to the world around us. And this is in ways we never imagined prior.
Call it awakening the dragon, if you will. However you wish to view it, it's a paradigm shift. And if you know anything about those, they're all about how we see and feel about ourselves in relation to our perception of the world as we know and understand it.
-------------------------
To summarize, I believe anger is more a response to our own envelope's weak points than anything else. And yes, I'm definitely discounting the situation itself.
Let me repeat that.
I believe anger is more a response to our own envelope's weak points than anything else. It's a very impulsive, complex response that can truly take us off guard, and over time, take root as a legitimate personality trait.
After a series of heavy rains, I remember so vividly how powerless I felt all those years ago when I first took note of our front room under floor water leak(s), knowing full well how difficult it would be to uncover exactly what was awry relative to our homes envelope. It was overwhelming to think about.
And I didn't honestly blame anyone at that point due to the fact that I knew full well how difficult constructing an impenetrable envelope truly is. Particularly here in Mississippi where on average we receive 60" of rain annually.
-------------------------
As men, we want to exude strength, perfection, maturity, resilience. Why? Because it's what our culture celebrates as attractive, successful - in and amongst men. Sexy even. Who's against being sexually attractive? No one. Certainly not this day and age. It is the gold standard for value. Is it not?
Anger doesn't fit categorically in with what I've just described as the gold standard. Even that in and of itself - the realization of one's now ugliness, can further fuel anger's grip on us. Plus, anger is a powerful emotion, motivating us - for the worse, always - to either eviscerate or marginalize (or something in between) - those around us. Not at all, on the opposite end of the spectrum, as love motivates us conversely.
Therefore, so much of our anger as men isn't justified, and this is due to the fact that it's more of a response to a truth (our own weakness) that is so difficult for us to face with courage. And subsequently ask for help with.
.
The results of these leaks are nasty, discolored (almost black) stains / discoloration within the wood that spread from the base of the exterior wall (right under the shoe mold) to about 18" towards the center of the room. It's not at all unlike looking at a foreboding negative bar chart descending into our living space.
As you might imagine, it looks really bad, and it's embarrassing to attempt to explain when new friends come over (so of course, we cover it up as best we can).
If we ever sell the house, something's obviously going to have to be did about this, and I'm afraid to think what it might cost / how much trouble it will be to accomplish.
-------------------------
A building's envelope consists of all of its exterior systems (roof / walls) working in tandem to protect the interior from the elements. Obviously, based on what I've described above, we have had some ongoing envelope problems at our home. And this proves that our home's envelope isn't doing the work it's supposed to be / was designed to do.
As Christian men, I believe we're also afforded an envelope that shelters our insides, and subsequently keeps us from being infringed upon emotionally. No matter the circumstance / degree of severity. And just to be clear, it's primarily anger that I'm wanting to laser in on going forward.
So often, said envelope isn't doing its job for guys, therefore our insides take on external elements that should have been easily shed / redirected from the get go. From there, he are forced to respond INTERNALLY now that the infiltration is undeniable.
BREACH!
Even though, had the envelope been doing its job, this response would have been unnecessary to begin with. In other words, it's no doubt impossible to ignore an uninvited guest.
In many ways, it's like one's initial exposure to hardcore porn - no matter the age or circumstance. I would argue in that instance, it's the breach itself and what it now represents that's most disturbing / makes the most impact versus the salicious material (& what it means to us). That instance is a pivot point. A lightening bolt moment that opens our eyes to who we are / have now become in regards to the world around us. And this is in ways we never imagined prior.
Call it awakening the dragon, if you will. However you wish to view it, it's a paradigm shift. And if you know anything about those, they're all about how we see and feel about ourselves in relation to our perception of the world as we know and understand it.
-------------------------
To summarize, I believe anger is more a response to our own envelope's weak points than anything else. And yes, I'm definitely discounting the situation itself.
Let me repeat that.
I believe anger is more a response to our own envelope's weak points than anything else. It's a very impulsive, complex response that can truly take us off guard, and over time, take root as a legitimate personality trait.
After a series of heavy rains, I remember so vividly how powerless I felt all those years ago when I first took note of our front room under floor water leak(s), knowing full well how difficult it would be to uncover exactly what was awry relative to our homes envelope. It was overwhelming to think about.
And I didn't honestly blame anyone at that point due to the fact that I knew full well how difficult constructing an impenetrable envelope truly is. Particularly here in Mississippi where on average we receive 60" of rain annually.
-------------------------
As men, we want to exude strength, perfection, maturity, resilience. Why? Because it's what our culture celebrates as attractive, successful - in and amongst men. Sexy even. Who's against being sexually attractive? No one. Certainly not this day and age. It is the gold standard for value. Is it not?
Anger doesn't fit categorically in with what I've just described as the gold standard. Even that in and of itself - the realization of one's now ugliness, can further fuel anger's grip on us. Plus, anger is a powerful emotion, motivating us - for the worse, always - to either eviscerate or marginalize (or something in between) - those around us. Not at all, on the opposite end of the spectrum, as love motivates us conversely.
Therefore, so much of our anger as men isn't justified, and this is due to the fact that it's more of a response to a truth (our own weakness) that is so difficult for us to face with courage. And subsequently ask for help with.
 |
| Many men are in bondage to anger, thanks to it serving at times as lust does. As a fuel to feel intensely. |
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| The hard truth of being (un)recognized as an imperfect dad can be just as confounding / shaming, if not moreso, than the imperfection itself. |
Sunday, March 15, 2020
88.6788!
Years ago, Mr. Don Waller would invite us Samson Society men out to rural Hinds County on some family owned property right around New Year's Eve. He'd have a bonfire built, and we'd eat fantastic home cooked jambalaya or red beans & rice. Due to the holiday, there'd rarely be more than 6 or 8 of us that would show up, and in looking back, that smaller scale crowd did make for a more intimate experience.
I can remember on each of these occasions, Don, with sage-like fervor, would ask us to state some upcoming year goals / milestones that we wanted to meet as individual men, and not unlike most of these types of conceptual exercises which I'd taken part in before, I'd quickly forget about them as the new year rolled around.
Interestingly enough though, this weekend I realized, quite surprisingly, that I'd met one of these goals - if not exceeded it - by a long shot!
It was one of those very personal goals that I'd simply forgotten to care about whilst going about my life, and then out of the blue, I excitedly realized the truth.
Now, I'm not a goal setter. Never have been. And that's simply due to my wiring.
But this really made my day. Thanks Don!
I can remember on each of these occasions, Don, with sage-like fervor, would ask us to state some upcoming year goals / milestones that we wanted to meet as individual men, and not unlike most of these types of conceptual exercises which I'd taken part in before, I'd quickly forget about them as the new year rolled around.
Interestingly enough though, this weekend I realized, quite surprisingly, that I'd met one of these goals - if not exceeded it - by a long shot!
It was one of those very personal goals that I'd simply forgotten to care about whilst going about my life, and then out of the blue, I excitedly realized the truth.
Now, I'm not a goal setter. Never have been. And that's simply due to my wiring.
But this really made my day. Thanks Don!
Saturday, March 14, 2020
When Those You Love Lose Their Faith In You and Your Abilities
My first job out of college wasn't more than 6 months old when I began to sense the sole proprietor losing faith in me. And it was centered around my personality.
I am not a team player. Never have been. As an only child with two 'rents who weren't all that much older than I, I spent most of my time alone as a child, 'fending for myself - at least emotionally. Too, I've never had a mentor (much to my chagrin). All this plus my having to privately manage my same sex attraction throughout my life, made me who I am. That being, independent to a fault.
And this did not bode well with my first architect boss. Therefore, when we lost our largest client, he was not at all remorseful to let me go. Of course, for me, it was devastating. Angie and I were only a few weeks into our newlyweddingness. But God was good, and within 30 days I had a new job with better pay / benefits and more responsibility. That was almost 25 years ago.
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One of my oldest friends agreed to lunch with me yesterday. At the end of last year, he walked away ("to take advantage of a better opportunity elsewhere") from a partnership he'd been privileged to be part of. One where as a business owner, he found himself at the base of a totem pole, always looking upwards to two seasoned businessmen who were 20+ years his senior. Now, the "to take advantage of a better opportunity elsewhere" portion of the story is what happened publicly. My old friend had been part of this firm, either as an employee or shareholder, for close to 16 years. And within my mind, he was a great candidate to buy these men out (upon their retirement), thereby allowing the business to continue forward under his headship, easily carrying on the legacy that his senior partners had established before him.
But that's not what went down since that wasn't what they today had in mind regarding him.
Similarly this week, I had lunch with a client whose partner simply walked out of the firm, taking the majority of the employees with him, leaving behind no real means to carry on with the workload.
In each case, faith in men, their values, and their abilities was lost. And from there, the relationships (& subsequent partnerships) collapsed in on themselves.
Now, before we talk about the first few sentences of this post, let me zoom in on the particulars. Because, that's really where the meat is relative to this critical issue. And when I say meat, I'm referring to the heart of where Samson Society (or something similar to it) might help.
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When my institutional employer lost their faith in me back in '13 (I've cited & expounded on this a good bit within previous posts), I seriously doubt I would have lost my footing emotionally / spiritually - perhaps on any level at all - had the conveyance of said change been more respectfully executed between themselves and me. And this is the rub within these difficult situations, either as exampled above or certainly within something as interpersonal as a marriage or friendship. How they're precisely handled matters tremendously relative to communicating the change of heart that's about to upend the relationship.
Regarding vocational relationships, men and women in positions of authority can be cruel, but especially when they feel entitled / are "appointed" to be. So much so that they may feel justified in - however they feel so moved - to deliver their disappointment, frustration, outrage, and on and on during that critical adjudication. Never once considering or attempting to empathize with the one on the opposite side of the table.
I speak from experience when I say that 'till you've had your heart submerged into a vat of pejorative acid (by individuals you love / respect / trust), you cannot imagine the emotional fallout that may come from such callousness / unprofessionalism / thoughtlessness. Especially if these individuals are older than you are. It really all comes down to circumstances.
But on the flip side of that mess, there's hope still. Healing for me did come. In droves. But, it took years for that to be seen through to its rightful conclusion. And for me, in particular, because of my independent nature, the impact had to be close to nuclear in order for me to be forced to begin at ground zero. Which leads me to...
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In closing, what does it mean to lose faith in oneself?
Regarding the aforementioned experience back in '13, my God took it upon himself to allow me to be crushed completely. Thrown off a cliff emotionally with no safety net. From there, the pain was so intense that I was unable to hold onto any hope at all. Never had I experienced such massive emotional trauma. I suppose you could say the timing was perfect for Satan to execute a full press in an attempt to do me in completely. And no doubt, God allowed that.
The heart of these accusations (from the devil) had to do with the lie that I truly was worthless. As I would weep whilst curled up in the fetal position on our closet floor on oh so many nights, I felt these accusations to my very core.
From there, it was simply a matter of waiting on the Lord to heal me. Or to put it another way, be rebuilt with my entire focus being on what he would do within me going forward versus me having to cope with my life with only a conceptual idea of God's healing / sovereign power running in the background.
And my involvement during this critical time with Samson Society was the perfect petri dish / safe haven for this to healing to take place within.
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Tonight, I feel for my old friend as well as my client. May God have mercy on them as he did me. What an amazing relinquishment of self identity did I experience. All of which I can only hope for them too.
Thursday, March 12, 2020
Why Do We Sometimes Find Ourselves Mourning / Grieving The Loss Of A Part Of Ourselves That We Should Be Happy To Be Rid Of? / [Who Or What Exactly Is Influencing You?]
Because we're not actually rid of it (to answer my first question). Especially if the ideals enumerated within that history are celebrated / go viral within our (now digital) culture.
Our lives aren't like a hard drive within a PC that's written over and over. Who we were and who we are and who we're becoming is a linear narrative. What's weird is that as an Christian, you'd think this grieving would actually never occur. Instead, shouldn't we be celebrating? Nevertheless, the reality is we have memories of who we were in the past coupled with how we once reacted / rationalized / understood the world around us.
But too (and to attempt to continue succinctly answering my first question), we're not necessarily individuals. Instead, we're part of humanity. Whatever that means (temperamental point of view / attitude towards fellow man) for each man at whatever point in time he happens to exist within. Nothing can completely separate us from life, moving forward, on Earth - side by side amongst our neighbors, co-workers, family, and so forth digitally or otherwise.
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The culture continues to degrade, decouple, diminish God's relevancy. It's happening all around us. And we cannot stop that from happening. I mean, we can pray for revival, but otherwise it's out of our control within this Fallen world. Yet, as believers, we are still no doubt part of that collective despite the fact that this remains no longer our true home.
Hence, we cannot (or at least we should not) extract ourselves from culture. Nothing in God's word lends credence to this approach. Otherwise, how would we witness? No story can be told sans an audience.
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When I was in college, I spent one summer living with my parents in a rental house here in Jackson. My best friend from high school was also home that same summer, and as a nice gesture, I decided to detail his car for him.
What I learned from this experience was how impossible it was to overlook the neglect he'd wrought onto his poor car, having now attempted to restore it to its once former showroom glory. Therefore, I never offered to do this again. Now, it didn't keep me from riding with him in the car, but I did not ever want to be tasked with being able to see the damage his car had endured and continued to endure day after day.
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We see so much about so many people these days thanks to the Internet. And, I'm not just referring to entertainment, but arguably the very reason the www exists is to provide us with access to an unlimited amount of data on lives lived and living. Too, you can step farther back and see the same relative to groupings of people, how they behave, what their moral standings are / are not. Many, many people use this to their monetary advantage online within this influencer age.
For an amateur sociologist like me, it's a fascinating tool / curse, this thing called the Internet. But, aren't we all becoming amateur sociologist as we search, scroll, post and click?
It's like you can detail every car or a certain portion of every car you see. Every. Single. Freaking. Car. Which is insane. And arguably, completely out of line in how we were meant to live out our lives.
Now, whether or not that online process results in a realistic (of course it does not) pursuit, nevertheless, the process is there for any and everyone who can run a browser to take part in. We are literally now slaves to the data.
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Everyone knows that detailing automobiles isn't normal human behavior because it's really hard work that takes an immense amount of scrutiny and patience to accomplish well. Washing a car on the other hand, is normal behavior. Especially if you have some help from your local automated car wash. It's an 8 to 10 minute job compared to a 3 or 4 hour job.
To circle back to my friend's car and that summer detailing job I did for him, the impact that reality made on me (his neglect) also reflected back on me from the standpoint that this was my best friend. Therefore, his neglect was categorized as "very personally recognizable", and therefore undeniable - in so many ways. Subsequently, I felt ashamed and disappointed. And not just at him, but at myself for not having been able to necessarily do more...either then or perhaps earlier on. [Keep in mind that at this time of my life, I was quite the car aficionado.]
Now on the flip side of that internal adjudication, staying within that same "very personally recognizable" realm, I also could have felt similarly ashamed and disappointed in myself, but for a whole different set of reasons. For instance, I may have then considered myself to have been none the smarter for actually "wasting my time" on keeping my own car in tiptop shape.
Do you see the undeniable influence there relative to both time / effort spent and who I'd dubbed "very personally recognizable"?
This influence points us back to what I wrote earlier on. Here it is again:
But too (and to attempt to continue succinctly answering my first question), we're not necessarily individuals. Instead, we're part of humanity. Whatever that means (temperamental point of view / attitude towards fellow man) for each man at whatever point in time he happens to exist within. Nothing can completely separate us from life, moving forward, on Earth - side by side amongst our neighbors, co-workers, family, and so forth digitally or otherwise.
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The Internet, for me at least, can serve as a massive junkyard, but it's one where categorically the cars are organized expertly (thanks to search engines) alongside seemingly unlimited toolsets. Toolsets which make for easy, almost instantaneous salvaging, study, and research. I love that.
The problem is exacerbated though for guys like me. Guys who simply can't get enough of cars.
But that's a sorry excuse. I've bought into the lie (in more ways than one) that there's no way to actually resurrect the dead or at least a portion of yourself that once was (for worse) living, breathing tissue. Therefore, I've thought for too long that playing it safe online doesn't really apply to me. How arrogant I've become!
Our lives aren't like a hard drive within a PC that's written over and over. Who we were and who we are and who we're becoming is a linear narrative. What's weird is that as an Christian, you'd think this grieving would actually never occur. Instead, shouldn't we be celebrating? Nevertheless, the reality is we have memories of who we were in the past coupled with how we once reacted / rationalized / understood the world around us.
But too (and to attempt to continue succinctly answering my first question), we're not necessarily individuals. Instead, we're part of humanity. Whatever that means (temperamental point of view / attitude towards fellow man) for each man at whatever point in time he happens to exist within. Nothing can completely separate us from life, moving forward, on Earth - side by side amongst our neighbors, co-workers, family, and so forth digitally or otherwise.
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The culture continues to degrade, decouple, diminish God's relevancy. It's happening all around us. And we cannot stop that from happening. I mean, we can pray for revival, but otherwise it's out of our control within this Fallen world. Yet, as believers, we are still no doubt part of that collective despite the fact that this remains no longer our true home.
Hence, we cannot (or at least we should not) extract ourselves from culture. Nothing in God's word lends credence to this approach. Otherwise, how would we witness? No story can be told sans an audience.
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When I was in college, I spent one summer living with my parents in a rental house here in Jackson. My best friend from high school was also home that same summer, and as a nice gesture, I decided to detail his car for him.
What I learned from this experience was how impossible it was to overlook the neglect he'd wrought onto his poor car, having now attempted to restore it to its once former showroom glory. Therefore, I never offered to do this again. Now, it didn't keep me from riding with him in the car, but I did not ever want to be tasked with being able to see the damage his car had endured and continued to endure day after day.
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We see so much about so many people these days thanks to the Internet. And, I'm not just referring to entertainment, but arguably the very reason the www exists is to provide us with access to an unlimited amount of data on lives lived and living. Too, you can step farther back and see the same relative to groupings of people, how they behave, what their moral standings are / are not. Many, many people use this to their monetary advantage online within this influencer age.
For an amateur sociologist like me, it's a fascinating tool / curse, this thing called the Internet. But, aren't we all becoming amateur sociologist as we search, scroll, post and click?
It's like you can detail every car or a certain portion of every car you see. Every. Single. Freaking. Car. Which is insane. And arguably, completely out of line in how we were meant to live out our lives.
Now, whether or not that online process results in a realistic (of course it does not) pursuit, nevertheless, the process is there for any and everyone who can run a browser to take part in. We are literally now slaves to the data.
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Everyone knows that detailing automobiles isn't normal human behavior because it's really hard work that takes an immense amount of scrutiny and patience to accomplish well. Washing a car on the other hand, is normal behavior. Especially if you have some help from your local automated car wash. It's an 8 to 10 minute job compared to a 3 or 4 hour job.
To circle back to my friend's car and that summer detailing job I did for him, the impact that reality made on me (his neglect) also reflected back on me from the standpoint that this was my best friend. Therefore, his neglect was categorized as "very personally recognizable", and therefore undeniable - in so many ways. Subsequently, I felt ashamed and disappointed. And not just at him, but at myself for not having been able to necessarily do more...either then or perhaps earlier on. [Keep in mind that at this time of my life, I was quite the car aficionado.]
Now on the flip side of that internal adjudication, staying within that same "very personally recognizable" realm, I also could have felt similarly ashamed and disappointed in myself, but for a whole different set of reasons. For instance, I may have then considered myself to have been none the smarter for actually "wasting my time" on keeping my own car in tiptop shape.
Do you see the undeniable influence there relative to both time / effort spent and who I'd dubbed "very personally recognizable"?
This influence points us back to what I wrote earlier on. Here it is again:
But too (and to attempt to continue succinctly answering my first question), we're not necessarily individuals. Instead, we're part of humanity. Whatever that means (temperamental point of view / attitude towards fellow man) for each man at whatever point in time he happens to exist within. Nothing can completely separate us from life, moving forward, on Earth - side by side amongst our neighbors, co-workers, family, and so forth digitally or otherwise.
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The Internet, for me at least, can serve as a massive junkyard, but it's one where categorically the cars are organized expertly (thanks to search engines) alongside seemingly unlimited toolsets. Toolsets which make for easy, almost instantaneous salvaging, study, and research. I love that.
The problem is exacerbated though for guys like me. Guys who simply can't get enough of cars.
But that's a sorry excuse. I've bought into the lie (in more ways than one) that there's no way to actually resurrect the dead or at least a portion of yourself that once was (for worse) living, breathing tissue. Therefore, I've thought for too long that playing it safe online doesn't really apply to me. How arrogant I've become!
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