Recommended Viewing - John Lynch is the featured speaker of the forthcoming Samson Society Fall Retreat (November 6-8, 2020)

Recommended Viewing

Recommended Listening - "Silas Talk" by Mr. Rob Brown

 This is a fantastic speech that was originally hosted on the first generation Samson Society website.  Highly recommended.

Recommended Viewing

Recommended Viewing (Very cool north MS man). This Is So Good.

Fall To Your Knees & Thank God For Allowing You To Dodge That Bullet / "The Curse God & Die" Post

My sweet wife asked me last night if I thought her May 29 stroke and all the ramifications therein was / had manifested itself as punishment from God.  She went on to say that she'd been self-examining over the course of the day, trying to determine what she might have done to deserve being stricken as she was / is.

We know from God's Word that planet Earth is under the jurisdiction of Satan.  He's the ruler here, therefore our culture / society, in particular, greatly reflects his influence, and of course too, we're fallen beings and our physical bodies reflect that as such.

The Bible speaks of Satan being thrown from heaven (to Earth) with his army of rebellious angels after attempting a coup.  It also describes him as the most beautiful of all the angels prior to his removal.  He was an "Angel of Light" prior to his punishment from God.

Satan shows up in Genesis (the first book of the Bible) early on, appearing as a serpent in the Garden of Eden, and from there relative to that very first deception, he influences mankind's future on a tremendous scale.

Yet, the Bible makes it clear that God's relationship to Satan is one of master.  To use Dr. John Piper's analogy, Satan is essentially on God's leash.  This insight we can discern for ourselves from the book of Job which paints a clear picture of God's present relationship with Satan.  If you haven't read it at all or in a long while, I'd urge you to return to that book.  

Big time loss seems to be the obvious tool of assault that Satan uses on Job, but it soon becomes apparent that it's those loved ones around Job (post personal calamity) who are moreso his toolset than anything else. 

No doubt Earthly prosperity - of any ilk - is virally identifiable on a personal level.  Now, we do see Job's heart as wholeheartedly loyal to God, but still, he (nor his wife / "friends") cannot deny what's been lost (family, possessions, health) overnight because it was once intact and interwoven into his (& their) existence on Earth.

As such, those influencers cannot help but point to the now contrast and subsequently have an opportunity to comment on it.  And not at all for the better.

-------------------------

Growing up with homosexual desires, particularly as a teenager, I found to be really strange, and mainly this was centered around my knowing that my peers weren't experiencing any of these bizarre attractions as I was.  Yet, were it not for these unusual sexual desires, I'd likely not have been in touch with my depravity to the degree that I was as a 13 year-old.  Therefore, sans that understanding, what heartfelt value would the gospel have had to me?  Likely very little.

To take that a step further, it was somehow possible for me to see my homosexual desires were a manifestation of a deep seated inner brokenness that was tied to my very insecure sense of masculinity.  Perhaps my parents' willingness to never single out my effeminate persona laid the groundwork there for me to begin to grasp this.  I don't know. 

-------------------------

Prior to her stroke, Angie really, really, really struggled with isolating shame surrounding her anxiety.  And that shame cycle for her was tied to any and all facets of her (seemingly at the time good) health.  Now, the anxiety itself she had in check, but the shame tied to it, like so often is the case with shame, was simply too much for her to handle.

Over the past four months, she's started to recognize just how effectively in bondage she'd been to this.

-------------------------

When I disclosed to Angie about my homosexual desires (very soon after disclosing to my parents), we had fallen in love and were no doubt a serious dating couple.  She was the third person on planet Earth that I told.  We were both in our early-20s at the time (Angie turns 50 next weekend).  And I wasn't ashamed in the least.  But that was all thanks to how my Christian parents had not overreacted firstly.

To circle back to my sweet wife, her parents manifested the opposite end of the reactionary spectrum - relative to almost everything she disclosed / faced whilst growing up.  Hence, Angie learned early on to keep her mouth shut about any and everything in order to protect herself.  Considering all of that, their negative / overbearing / nonsensical influence is only beginning to be emotionally exorcised from her post-stroke, and my hope, going forward, is to always be on the positive (helpful) side of that process.

-------------------------

Satan, being the great influencer that he is, is not God.  He only knows what we too know through Scripture in terms of God's intent / promises coupled with what he's discerned as an immortal being who at one point in history resided within God's presence in heaven.  Regarding the latter (immortality), he's definitely been around the block, if you know where I'm coming from.

Therefore, in my opinion, one of his most precise offensive tactics is to attempt to set us up to be vastly emotionally compromised via others' reactions to us - whether as children, young adults, or otherwise, or in some cases unfortunately, through us.  So how does he do this?  I think it's mainly via blind ignorance.

Think back on Satan's deceiving of Eve in the Garden of Eden.  She wasn't alone whilst dialoguing with the serpent.  Aloof Adam was right there with her, and he said not a word before she handed him the same piece of fruit to eat from.  I imagine Adam not understanding his own ineptness within that critical situation until it was far too late.

There's no doubt that it's downright fun at times kicking someone while they're down through our collectively compromised ideals (finger pointing).  I know this firsthand just as you do.  As such, Adam too was likely instantly enlightened to this just as soon as he witnessed Eve chomp down on that forbidden fruit.

-------------------------

In closing, we may very well be most at risk via Satan's influence by none other than the reactions of those around us (& vice versa).  

So, knowing that, how did I answer Angie's question last night?

With great care (which unfortunately isn't always the case depending on my mood).

Thanks be to God for giving me the wisdom to (mostly) have learned - today - to answer my sweet wife's hard questions carefully.  (It's taken a long while).

I cannot tell you the number of times I've not fared so well relative to my reaction to whomever - friend, child, spouse, etc., and I have the bullet wounds to prove it.

May God temper my heart to see far above personal circumstance, all the while being keenly aware of my being susceptible to both repose or knee jerk (or anything in between) reactions that may not serve anyone well except "The Prince of the Power of the Air" himself.  

Armor me Lord Jesus from Satan's influence over my influence as well as the influence of those around me.

Samson Society - The No Bull September Briefing

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING September 2020

Whoa, Nellie! There's COVID In Them Thar' Hills!! Due to the ongoing Covid restrictions in the foreseeable future, the Spring Cruise of '21 will have to wait for '22. Basically we have found it difficult to get venues to commit to a date on the calendar (many churches are still shut down or severely restricted). The domino effect from there makes it a no-go, at least for coast-to-coast in Spring of '21. However, we are trying to salvage a pared-down version of the tour, sans large group venues. Yes, Covid sucks. Currently the plan is to get the boys (Nate, Aaron, and Tom) out to key cities where we have multiple groups or large numbers of Pirate Monks. Our goal is to get the word out about Samson Society in this age of Covid, encourage men fed up with isolation, and have the usual rollicking good time with each other. We'll keep you posted. Updates and cruise communications: samsoncruise21@gmail.com Samson Slack Channel: #samson_cruise_21 What About the Retreat??  We're Still ON, But ... It's FULL Registrations for this year's annual Fall Retreat have been brisk, to say the least. That, combined with Covid-compliance limiting our numbers, means this year's retreat filled up almost as soon as we opened registration. Soooo, We're Planning A Virtual Retreat for Nov. 20-21 That's right, a virtual retreat! All the same speakers, breakout groups with live discussion, and even a live Samson meeting. All the fun of a regular Samson retreat, sans the bottomless cups of coffee, hugs and firepit. We will be sending out a special email with details for registration and log-on instructions. New Online Silas Training Course Everyone needs a Silas, and everyone can be a Silas. However, many guys who've had a positive Silas relationship really want to be a good Silas themselves but don't feel up to the task. Being a Silas is simply a matter of being authentic, a good listener, and available. Our new Silas Training Course is a quick, four-part video series featuring Samson Society founder, Nate Larkin, followed by a 90-minute live workshop. We need MORE Silases! If you've had a Silas for 30-45 days, you're ready to BE a Silas. Watch the training videos and sign up for the first workshop (October 11, 6:00PM Central, sign up available on the website soon). If you've been a Silas but you'd like to be a better Silas - take the course, you'll be glad you did! How to access the Silas training course: Go to the Silas portal and login at https://silas.samsonsociety.com/login  Navigate to the "Resources" tab on the left-hand side and select "Courses." Then select "Silas Training" to enroll and begin taking the course. This is the Beta version of the Silas Training Course - we are keenly interested in your feedback. "Sex, Lies, and Videotapes" by Roger C (first in a four-part series) I was raised in a small town in rural Northwest Florida, or “LA” as we called it (that’s “Lower Alabama” for my northern friends). My parents came from farming families and my dad worked in a factory. When I graduated from high school, I went to a military academy in New York. Only the seniors were allowed to have cars, so most of us took opportunities to travel to New York City through various clubs that bused us down on weekends. My roommate Pat, a street-wise city boy from Los Angeles, and I went down on one trip. As we walked down one street, we saw a man with a small folding table with a crowd. Curious, I walked up to see what the commotion was about, while Pat kept walking. He had three half walnut shells and a pea and was shuffling them around then asking the people to bet on which shell held the pea. I followed along and guessed correctly...out loud. The rest was a blur, but the crowd cheered me on to join in, and somehow $20 left my wallet as I placed a bet, guessed wrongly, and lost $20. When I told Pat my story, he sprung into action to find the con man who had stolen my money, but he was long gone. I learned that the “crowd” actually worked with him to pull naive folks like me into the game. I felt foolish, of course, and was out $20, but the lesson was not lost on me. I’ve had other occasions to make poor decisions when I relied on what I thought I knew or saw, only to later find out that the world is not as it seems. Everyone is not to be trusted and we live in a culture where illusions and lies, smoke and mirrors, mislead us, and where people make money off those false beliefs.           READ MORE Because You Asked ... Yes, Covid has taken a toll on Samson House contributions. As we say, "Samson doesn't have dues or fees, but we DO have expenses." We try very hard not to badger you about money, simply letting the quality of our community do our talking. That said, if you value the mission of Samson Society, please consider a monthly contribution or a one-time major gift. You can give HERE, or text Samson House at ‭(719) 722-3545

SUPPORT@SAMSONSOCIETY.COM WWW.SAMSONSOCIETY.COM

Recommended Reading from Desiring God. I needed to read this today.

 https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/holy-is-who-you-are

The 14-Year Disappointment

This past weekend, I dropped in on a former friend who also happens to live within our 'hood.  Keep in mind that we'd only seen each other in passing over the past 14 years simply due to proximity / logistics (our neighborhood is not large), and more often than not, I refused to even make eye contact due to the discomfort his presence caused me.  

My reason for dropping in was obligatory, but what I wasn't expecting from him was his warm welcome on this Sunday afternoon.  He ushered me into his living room, and despite the fact that we immediately got down to business, I could sense that he didn't want me to rush in the least.  What was reconciling too was returning to that very space.  His living room.  That's where our friendship had last left off.

As a result of this juncture, it was apparent to me that the fly in our platonic ointment had somehow been seemingly removed.  Therefore, I took hope from this reboot relative to my rejection scar eventually healing up completely.

And to top it off, he agreed to my formal request (tied to why exactly I was there to begin with).  So, all in all, I walked out very different than I had walking in.  

-------------------------

In looking back on this tonight, I believe my former friend's change in outlook relative to my value (to him) as a human being was tied to me proving him wrong.  And this was in regards to me having been faithful (in spite of his unbelief in me being able to do so) to who I set out to be (in his eyes) 14 years prior. 

I remember distinctly my former friend / neighbor having an awful lot of baggage (as did I) that he brought with him into the relationship when we were both so much younger.  And it was baggage that he at least wasn't willing to explore / unpack with me at the time.  And unfortunately (or fortunately), I found this out via a swift decoupling.

This guy was intelligent too.  And we had similar interests.  Close to the same age, etc.

It sucked to see this relational schism occur, but I prayed for reconciliation nonetheless.  I just had no legitimate ill will against this man.  I could not discount his hurt despite how he hurt me.

Who would have thought reconciliation would actually someday occur?  

I know we all have experienced friendships that naturally fall apart for various reasons over time.  And those are simply part of life's circumstances (to be included as well within the dynamics of Samson Society).  But, hopefully few of you have experienced a friendship literally jumping the tracks as this one did for me back in 2006.  When this occurs, it's jarring and concussive.  Literally to the point of leaving you not knowing which way is up.  And it can have you questioning repeatedly your own motives whilst perhaps too losing faith in the concept of friendship as a whole.

Thanks be to God for what occurred this past Sunday afternoon.  I'm still smiling.

If you, dear reader, are still holding out hope for a (seemingly) long dead friendship, continue to pray for healing.  Reconciliation is super sweet and well worth the wait.

I Lost My Virginity To A Maverick (Rob's First Role As A Silas)

2011 was notable for my friendship with The Maverick.  It had seeded in 2010, not long after we'd had lunch at the now defunct "Jerusalem Cafe" in Fondren, and this is where he identified himself as a "porn addict".  I'd never heard that phrase, but nonetheless, it deeply concerned me.  Especially considering the fact that he was a pastor.

All of this was pre-Samson Society (at least in terms of our involvement within the ministry).  Though both of us are heavily involved now (me in Jackson and The Maverick in Mobile, AL), at the time, neither of us were privy to Christ-centered relational accountability groups of any ilk.  Therefore, we set out supporting each other as best we knew how.  And by all means, it was imperfect, but such a learning experience and privilege to start there.

-------------------------

The Maverick's identity was centered on recklessness by my standards and independence by his.  At the conclusion of our friendship (while he was still living here back in 2012), he compared himself to Tom Cruise's character in the film "Top Gun", and in many ways this was true - as an overarching theme relative to how he saw himself.  He was resolute at being a "seat of the pants" guy with almost a fanatical helping of self confidence and poise regarding situations he was no doubt completely (& intentionally) unprepared to face.  Tied to that confidence (arrogance) was off the chart laziness, and this is where his compulsive Internet usage - porn use, gaming came into play.  

Nevertheless, we saw spiritual maturation on either end of the friendship despite our opposing personas.  For me specifically, having this man trust me completely - with my story in particular - was monumentally helpful.  It provided me with a foundation to grow and see / understand myself better from which I'd never had prior.  A period of intense spiritual growth took off as a result.

-------------------------

If you find yourself (& many a Samson man may very well) serving your very own Maverick as a Silas, here's my advice to you:

But first, let me share the following just to reiterate what I stated prior and to insure that you understand whom exactly I'm describing.  

Mavericks live and breathe reckless behavior / thinking.  It's their language.  Finding a shortcut, taking the risks, cutting corners is their modus operandi.  They're like a bull in a china shop.

I'll provide an example from my experience with The Maverick.

It's a fact that contact lenses are meant to be purged / replaced every two weeks with fresh lenses.  I know this because I've worn them since I was a teen.  It's also recommended that you remove the lenses prior to sleeping, though sleeping in them isn't forbidden.  This procedure of replacing / removing nightly is obviously for the health / recovery of the human eye.  Contact lenses, over time, get protein deposits on them, and too, they simply degrade as they're floating around on the surface of one's eyeball.  This degradation and dirtiness can result in serious eye infections which can lead to eye disease / permanent damage.  God gave man two irreplaceable eyeballs, therefore it's really wise to take good care of them.

Therefore, it's just common sense to follow these recommendations closely whilst wearing contact lenses.

Unless you're a Maverick.  

In that case, you leave your contact lenses in your head for years on end just to see how long you can go. 

And this is just one example of how Mavericks think / operate.

Now back to my advice.

Your Maverick friend needs much more from you than just "You got my back?", though the notion of accepting / making peace with his recklessness is an absolute.  And this could be your way of showing respect (perhaps for something you can't completely understand / appreciate) for who he's chosen to be / ended up becoming (depending on how you look at it).  

What he needs is love.  And often the best way to demonstrate that is through consistency.  Think of yourself (as his Silas) not as a counterpoint but as a datum or signpost.  Consistency in time spent / communication, consistency in pointing him towards Christ (Bible study / prayer / self-examination), consistency in reiterating over and over your care and concern for his well-being (in an effort to work against the recklessness).

And this love you show is going to be tough.  Drawing lines in the sand may be needed via demanding he take logical steps that are in line with The Path.  That being said, if he follows through with your demands, you continue forward via the friendship as such, refusing to miss a beat.  If no follow through occurs, you must be committed to pulling back 'till he's ready to comply with what's obviously best for his own recovery.  If you two can't agree on what's best, you need to loop in other (mutually agreed upon) Samson men to provide advice / insight / counsel.

-------------------------

Two areas where I did this with my Maverick friend were in the realm of Internet accountability software (Covenant Eyes) and eventually, an insistence regarding him obtaining Christian counseling (at RTS).  Regarding the former, I became his accountability partner, and regarding the latter, I'd ask to see credit card receipts proving he'd attended scheduled counseling sessions.

And he followed through with this, and progress was made, and I was privileged to know him that much more.  For there's nothing more rewarding than witnessing a Christian make progress - in the opposing direction of - chronic sin issues.  But especially whilst experiencing them firsthand yourself.

-------------------------

My Maverick friend isn't an anomaly to Samson Society.  If you're committed to this ministry long enough and willing to serve any and all men as a Silas, you'll too come across one (or two or three).  And for awhile, you may find yourself scratching your head as to how they operate (off the cuff / on the fly / seat of their pants).  And that's normal.

What I came away with personally was so much understanding tied to my own platonic needs.  And yes, they were finally understood to be needs.  Not wants.  Needs.  What an investment The Maverick made in me!  Thanks be to God for this part of my story.  I'm very much looking forward to reconnecting with him at the Samson Society Fall retreat in early November.  He is one of my heroes and always will be.

Sex Fantasies As An Amalgamation / Re-Imagining Of My Routine

We've visited St. Dominic's Medical Arts building often over the past month due to Angie's post-stroke follow-up doctors' appointments.  Aside from some of the most poorly designed "medical mall" architecture I've experienced firsthand (late '80s Barlow & Plunkett), it's a place not unlike the Jackson Zoological Park or any local Mississippi public library.  

In what way, you ask?

The hospital draws people from all around our state for medical care, therefore in terms of its populace, it serves as an excellent cross sectional representation of what typical Mississippians look like.  And, there's no doubt that hands down we're the ugliest, most grotesque people in the Union.  And this, I believe, is why so many people refuse to live here.  

Mostly, this reality relative to our populace is perpetuated by the epidemic of obesity here in the Magnolia State, but I'm sure some of it simply has to do with genetics.  

So, you mix those personally repetitive, yet sobering experiences in with a smattering of online news and entertainment, and for me, there's not only willful motivation but a means to escape those experiences - at least temporarily.

-------------------------

Before the Internet brought us "news" around the clock (via media outlets - URLs - monitoring what we consumed as such in order to tailor their content to suit our appetites), there were daily newspapers and nightly TV news programs.  And these were available every day of the week, but obviously their existence was a captured one.  In other words, as news outlets, they had one 24-hour shot at relaying their findings to the American public, therefore this precipitated a much high level of executive editing relative to both content, format, and scale (amount of time/space spent on one article/newsworthy event) than we see today.

Because of this, news reporters / journalists were a much more respected lot, and as such, were understood as necessary.  Plus, none of them looked like Barbie dolls.

It's similar to the narrative behind the American pastor.  Prior to 24/7 televangelists (who're constantly asking for $$$), pastors were confined to their pulpits on Sunday mornings.  As such, both their roles and content were and were seen as very different.

-------------------------

I'm a reader through and through.  Reading for me comes super easy.  It doesn't, nor has it ever, felt like work to me.  Therefore, I enjoy it.

I'm also an amateur researcher.  Once my interest is topically piqued, and I have the time / energy to spare, I'll dig.

Taking those attributes into consideration, there ain't no more interesting topic to me than those which are sex-laden.  (And I know I'm not in the minority here.)

-------------------------

Over the course of the past few weeks, a very prominent news story broke regarding the (now) former president of a sizable, private Christian college in the Midwest.  The news outlet that broke the story is a highly respected one (Reuters).  I read this piece, and frankly, due to its salacious and sin-laden content, it made a distinct impression on me.

Soon thereafter, other news outlets "expounded on" the story by also paying the source (the love interest) for additional juicy details.  Once I was made aware of those follow up stories (Matt Drudge's aggregate news site), I too read them, but this time it was from a completely didn't point of view.

No longer was this news.  It was smut.  And I love smut.

--------------------------

Mississippians look like the Baron in 1984's "Dune" because they love to eat garbage whilst being averse to physical exercise, and these truths are perpetuated by categorical ignorance relative to health & wellness.  When you love something (whether or not it's tied to ignorance), you do it often, and when one is consuming garbage (especially combined with zero exercise), it's going to have seriously harmful consequences to both your health and physical appearance.  Taking that truth into account, when everyone looks similarly ugly, no one has a reason to personally care anymore.  It's just a big 'ol wad of mass stupidity.

Last night, my youngest daughter and I finished screening a fantasy film from 2014 that I picked up a year or so ago.  The film was in the bargain DVD bin, therefore no doubt that summarizes its cultural impact.  Nonetheless, the film is costumed exquisitely and the actors are extraordinarily beautiful whilst cavorting around there on set in breathtaking British Columbia.  

My daughter in fact stated repeatedly how "hot" the young actor was whom played the protagonist.  And I agreed.  But so were the ladies who traipsed around in their heavy cosmetics and revealing, sexy garb.

-------------------------

Prior to falling asleep last night, I let my imagination run wild as yet another week came to an end, taking everything that I've described above into account - reality here in Mississippi, historical reality elsewhere (supposedly) within the Midwest, and cheap cinematic fantasy.  And as a result, I was highly entertained for those few minutes, and of course, seemingly in complete control of my own version of a very sex-laden re-imagining of all this that was knocking around within my head.

What's tragic about this is I'm no different than my fellow Mississippians.  Just as grotesque.  Just as ugly.  But the ugliness is seeded within my heart.  And that ugliness is disguised as normal.

Gluttony produces visible ramifications.  Lust too, but moreso to our Heavenly Father who sees inside of each man.  God help me to take my future thoughts captive in lieu of aloofly laying waste to this temple of the Holy Spirit.  I know better than to do this.

Highly Recommended TED Talk - "How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across A Lifetime" - Dr. Nadine Burke Harris

We All Need Some Good News Today

Rob's Anticipatory Recharge

An old friend, who also attended the Samson Society Fall Retreat last year, reached out to me last week to inquire if I would be attending this year's November 6-8, 2020 retreat in Eva, TN.  I said yes, and this short exchange served as a reminder of what I have to look forward to.

Attending this retreat for Rob is akin to stepping into paradise on Earth.  And that experience is centered around me not having any relational responsibilities whatsoever relative to Samson Society, taking into consideration those involved within the ministry here in Mississippi.  

For me, it's not unlike attending an annual family reunion where it's super easy to simply sit back and people watch the +/- 100 men who'll also be attending.

Too, I love allowing the Holy Spirit to simply lead, and from there, connect / introduce myself to guys whom I've never met prior to asking to hear their stories.

Considering pragmatics, the drive up to Eva isn't necessarily short, but it's worth the jaunt.  

Samson Society, for those like myself who've found so much timely value in it as a men's ministry, is an opportunity for men to serve each other via relational accountability, and this is akin / in line with my temperament.  I do love that part of it.

The retreat is a celebration of that yearlong service, and therefore a time to recharge.

I can't wait!

Talk Is Cheap. When A Loner Wants To Stay A Loner.

 "I've been involved in Samson Society meetings for two years now.  I know it's time to actually begin to follow The Path."

I hear this statement from a Samson brother, and my heart rejoices.  For it was right at one year before I began to take The Path seriously (back in December of 2015).  In fact, I relayed to the men at this past Wednesday night's meeting that I was very close to making a discreet exit from the Jackson, MS Samson Society before turning the corner in this regard.

Attending meetings / after-meetings (meals at restaurants) is exciting.  The comradery, in particular, is energizing, but before long, there's this text in the Samson Society charter that's continuing to stare each of us in the face.  

And most men, I would argue, do not walk through the entire procedural narrative baked into The Path (though some very much do).  And that's fine.  But, at a minimum, we should obtain a Silas and detail our story to him - in all its gory detail - "warts & all" -  prior to working out the specifics of walking forward together.

Unfortunately, it's this Silas connection that can be such the stumbling block for loners.  Because firstly, they have to actually ask another man to be this for them.  And this, of course, runs counter to how a loner typically operates.

-------------------------

Hiding my true self from everyone around me was simply the de facto approach I was forced to take, growing up here in Mississippi.  I wasn't one to have dreams of greener pastures elsewhere as I aged into manhood.  Therefore, never did I consider an out-of-state college career, nor, following college, looking for work beyond the boundaries of Mississippi.  Hence, I learned to make peace with the notion of being alone with who I truly was on the inside here at home.

And this worked well 'till I fell in love with my soon-to-be wife at the tail end of my college career.  For I didn't want her nor my parents to be in the dark as to what I was truly dealing with internally; all during this joyous occasion (first romantic love) that was killing me on the inside.

-------------------------

I think too, overall, I really do now enjoy vetting individuals via how they react to my story.  Truth can moderate really well, and I'm all about attempting to gauge where other people stand in relation to hard / uncomfortable realities.  For me, I did this with Bob & Darlene initially, and they reacted beautifully.  From there, it's been all downhill.

So, loners unite!  Move forward with The Path soon, and make a point to find a Silas today.  You won't regret it.

Holding My Breath For Stan & Harmony

Angie and I are a middle-aged white couple (married close to 25 years) who attend Lakeside Presbyterian Church every Sunday / Wednesday (pre-pandemic regarding the latter) like clockwork.  The church is only a mile from our house, and our consistency there is tied to just how comfortable we've both become (as well as our three daughters) within the setting.  We were both reared within a Southern Baptist church, and continued to invest / worship within that denomination (moving between two specific churches) during the first decade of our marriage.  But once our oldest two daughters were preschool age, we transitioned to the reformed faith via Lakeside.  Thankfully too, the location of the church was super convenient for us as a family.  Both of those attributes made for good timing for us.

What changed (church experience) was primarily the rigor relative to the Scriptures.  And this was most evident from the pulpit (sermons), though whilst looking back, the Sunday School environment also divested itself into that rigor as well.  In contrast to that, there was much less commentary overall as well as few, if any jokes - at least from the pulpit.  Overall, there was a heavy emphasis on the Bible as the Word of God - all 66 books of it (equal weighting between the Old & New Testament).  And we really appreciated that change.

-------------------------

I can remember my 'rents, when I was a teen, attending commentary classes at our Southern Baptist church.  These classes were often taught on Sunday evenings, and were based on books like MasterLife or Experiencing God.  You'll never find anything of the sort at Lakeside Pres, though they are at the present, sponsoring a once-a-month book study on reformed theology via The Wonderful Works of God by Herman Bavinck.  

Ultimately, the purpose of the Southern Baptist church is to get bigger.  Month to month, year to year.  Therefore, the church experience they offer paints with as wide a (culturally "relevant") brush as possible.  And this often results in heavy, heavy commentary being doled out which is usually eye-opening, humorous, off-putting, and so forth.  It's entertaining stuff for sure.  Angie and I both have heard some weird shit expunged from those pulpits over the years, and this is par for the course relative to these churches primary goals.  'Till we'd experienced another approach, we just assumed there weren't other options out there to explore.

Overall, no doubt, church attendance (from a parishioners point of view) - no matter where you go - is a commitment chore.  Therefore, the weight of that monotony can be lifted as such.  Considering that, we simply wanted more relative to where we were with our personal walk with God, even if it meant less entertaining and more enriching.

-------------------------

I've often joked that Presbyterians are like graduate degree Christians.  And this harkens back to the fact that they love God's Word first and foremost, and aren't as impressed / entertained as easily as other Christ followers.

-------------------------

Taking all of that into consideration, our church is no doubt biased, in terms of membership, towards the middle-aged to older crowd.  Yet, there are a small handful of young couples, and it's one of those that I'd like to focus on here, going forward within this post.

We'll dub them, for sake of anonymity, Stan & Harmony.

-------------------------

But first...

During our newlywed years, a slightly older couple who'd been married 2 or 3 years longer than we, worshiped with us during our aforementioned Southern Baptist church days.  Their names were Dan and Melody.

These two were so complementary of each other.  Moreso, I believe, than any other couple we'd met up to that point in time.  Dan was Type A, highly intelligent, and charming.  Melody was equally as intelligent, but no doubt a Type B.  Her demeanor was sweet and loving, if a little quiet.

Eventually, Dan and Melody quietly divorced to everyone's disbelief.  They did this prior to procreating, and it coincided with Dan's obvious, though held close to the vest, problem with alcohol.

-------------------------

Shifting gears back to the present, let's wrap this up by discussing preconceptions.  Especially as they pertain to being young and green.  One of the biggest weaknesses, if not the biggest weakness, relative to being young/er is naivety.  And that naivety is tied to our perceptively greenish view of the world as we know it.  

You may believe you've seen the ideal Christian couple.  One whose marriage is rock solid whilst blessing everyone around them.  The duo look fantastic together and seem inseparable.  

Seeing the aforementioned Stan & Harmony sitting in the pew at Lakeside Pres on Sunday mornings, I sometimes believe I've seen them too, but it's a ruse.  Just as Dan & Melody were.

Every couple is just one or two steps away from their marriage being on the rocks, and more often than not, it's related to that fleshly pull towards sexual sin or drug (alcohol is a drug) abuse.  Therefore, do the work you need to do, find the support you need to find to keep your less than ideal marriage intact and strong.

Lagniappe

When The Happiest Man I Know Is Not So Happy / Identity Through Politics - Part Two

I attended a men's retreat (pre-Samson Society involvement) back in February of 2014 outside of Jackson, and my big takeaway from that particularly grueling 48 hours was being dubbed "flamboyant" by the retreat leader.  And he adjudicated this label to me immediately following me pouring out my heart (telling my story) for 20 minutes in front of everyone in attendance (+/-30 men).  It truly was the most derogatory insult I've experienced in recent memory, doled out by a respected local Christian counselor.

Growing up in the '80s, the role models for homosexual men were flamboyant.  And for me personally, this included my high school science teacher.  All of this played a significant role in me understanding that I had no place within that community.  Flamboyant, in my mind, equated to one being completely at the mercy of their emotions.

Today, I still see a lot of this flamboyance, and it positions me to be that much further resolved in never, ever embracing / honoring the homosexual lifestyle.

Why?

-------------------------

I'm definitely a sexist.  It's impossible to be a complementarian Christian and not be.  

Also, living with four women has made me that much more of one.

Now to return to my question of worthwhileness from my last post.  

-------------------------

For women, emotional responses are absolutely worthwhile.  It's in and through their emotions that they experience so much of life.  And this complements their husbands who typically do not put nearly as much stock in feelings as they do.

Within our western culture, men and women are equal.  It's all 50/50.  He can do everything equally as well as she can and vice versa.  I hear this from my teenage daughters who're just as eat up with culture as any.

The Bible runs counter to this and so does logic, but logic is often ridiculed within our culture and the Bible discounted.

One of the most sizable weaknesses women wrestle with is the relationship they have with their emotions.

Let me repeat that statement.

One of the most sizable weaknesses women wrestle with is the relationship they have with their emotions.

To be more specific, women can be easily manipulated in and through their feelings.  And, of course, feelings are just that.  Feelings.  They come and go.  Rise and fall.  Intense.  Diminished.  And on and on.

And this is why women should depend on their man as it relates to this particular attribute / character trait.

But what if her man is a dumbass?  Or simply isn't where he needs to be to lead in this regard?  What if she's "been there, done that" and only ended up getting screwed by her man (whose taken advantage of her emotionally)?  

Those are valid questions, but we're going to have to assume here that she has a solid, reliable husband, pastor, brother, friend next to her who's looking out for her best interests.

-------------------------

I watched my mother, whilst growing up, disregard her emotional beauty completely due to my father being quite inept as her man.  It wasn't that he wasn't a great looking guy with an optimistic outlook.  That he was.  What was missing was that steadiness that most all young wives crave.  In its place, my dad was an overgrown boy (at 18) who really had no business, at that time, being dubbed a husband - to anyone.

So, she became that steadiness herself within our threesome.  And she'd seen this stopgap solution lived out within her own family as she grew up in the Mississippi Delta.  

This attribute of steadiness is the polar opposite of flamboyant, and it's what I gravitate towards relative to the true joy of being a man.  And as weird as it sounds, I learned it from my extremely feminine, strikingly beautiful mother.  Therefore, it's due to her that I'm not / never will identifying myself as a gay man living a gay lifestyle with a pro-gay outlook.

-------------------------

In closing, social media and cable TV are designed first and foremost to incite an emotional response from everyone who consumes it.  And it pits all of us against each other whilst doing so.  Otherwise, no one would devote the countless wasted time glued to all forms of it.

Because women bank their emotions as worthwhile (remember Part One of this post), these two (social media / cable TV) are optimized to the nth degree for the female consumer.  And along those same lines, it's a fact that men and women consume social media very differently due to their wiring.  

Mark Zuckerberg is leading the technological charge in exploiting the attributes of both sexes and our now cultural norms (men and women are 50/50).  Brilliant guy, he is.

-------------------------

Where to go to shore up ourselves as men, on behalf of our wives / daughters and otherwise (who need us to be their steadiness)?

Samson Society, of course.  It's as simple as that.

Lagniappe

More Lagniappe

When The Happiest Man I Know Is Not So Happy / Identity Through Politics - Part One

I've only met two men during my lifetime who epitomized a steady, consistently happy demeanor.  That proves that this temperament is a rare find.  And I'm not referring here to happyish men who're not bright enough to recognize the realities related to the unhappiness of this life.  No.  Not those.  Instead, these are intelligent, godly men who're articulate and quite devout (yet not earnest in the least) who're always, always in good spirits - no matter what.

One of these I see every week at our church.  He's an elder who's just a few years my senior, and I deeply respect this man, particularly as it relates to his compassionate, selfless heart as a Sunday School teacher, leader, husband, father, and amateur missionary.

Therefore, when I recognize that his demeanor has shifted from typical to atypical (for he himself), I grow deeply concerned.  For it's unusual, and though a lot has become unusual these days, this still is quite unexpected.

-------------------------

I've read about marriages being torn asunder relative to politics, but mostly, despite the implied risks, it comes down to willful respect if faced with opposing points of view.  In fact, I worked with an architect years ago who used to decree that his vote "cancelled out" the vote of his spouse during each election - year after year after year.  And he'd say this smugly yet with nobility / respect towards his wife.

Today, political points of view are becoming identifiers.  Identity is the word I'm focusing on right here.  Like sexual orientation or race is tied to identity.  Religion, even.  And you wrap that up inside the auspices of the pandemic that we've been experiencing, and it promulgates this notion of identity through politics that much further.  And the weird thing is, this is happening to really smart people.  Not just the dumbasses who have not the grey matter to think outside of their (incessantly overbearing) feelings.    

Therefore, my aforementioned always happy friend, whilst faced with the emotions of this private, relational defeat (as I've implied above), has definitely lost his happiness.  And it's all centered on his wife situating her identity outside of her relationship with Christ.  For this is a binary move.  There's no co-mingling.  It's either 1 or 0.  You're either in Christ or not.

-------------------------

Years ago, I had a pastor friend whose wife stopped attending the church that he pastored in lieu of her decision to frequent her best friend's ("her soulmate" - his words) church down the street.  Needless to say, this brought on much negative speculation which eventually boiled over prior to my friend resigning his position at the church.

But his wife was "following her heart" or somesuch, therefore this was no doubt a weirdmo isolated incident.

Today however, this kind of weird relational shit is prevalent.  Prevalent.    

Now, for me to say that means the following:  Christians are relinquishing their true identities for something else.  Something rooted, I believe, in emotions - namely anger / outrage.

-------------------------

So what's the root of all this anger / outrage, and are these emotions worthwhile?

Let's talk about the meaning of the word worthwhile, and from there, I'm going to segue into how this pertains to the benefits of being involved within the Samson Society.  Stay tuned and thanks for reading.