Angie and I are a middle-aged white couple (married close to 25 years) who attend Lakeside Presbyterian Church every Sunday / Wednesday (pre-pandemic regarding the latter) like clockwork. The church is only a mile from our house, and our consistency there is tied to just how comfortable we've both become (as well as our three daughters) within the setting. We were both reared within a Southern Baptist church, and continued to invest / worship within that denomination (moving between two specific churches) during the first decade of our marriage. But once our oldest two daughters were preschool age, we transitioned to the reformed faith via Lakeside. Thankfully too, the location of the church was super convenient for us as a family. Both of those attributes made for good timing for us.
What changed (church experience) was primarily the rigor relative to the Scriptures. And this was most evident from the pulpit (sermons), though whilst looking back, the Sunday School environment also divested itself into that rigor as well. In contrast to that, there was much less commentary overall as well as few, if any jokes - at least from the pulpit. Overall, there was a heavy emphasis on the Bible as the Word of God - all 66 books of it (equal weighting between the Old & New Testament). And we really appreciated that change.
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I can remember my 'rents, when I was a teen, attending commentary classes at our Southern Baptist church. These classes were often taught on Sunday evenings, and were based on books like MasterLife or Experiencing God. You'll never find anything of the sort at Lakeside Pres, though they are at the present, sponsoring a once-a-month book study on reformed theology via The Wonderful Works of God by Herman Bavinck.
Ultimately, the purpose of the Southern Baptist church is to get bigger. Month to month, year to year. Therefore, the church experience they offer paints with as wide a (culturally "relevant") brush as possible. And this often results in heavy, heavy commentary being doled out which is usually eye-opening, humorous, off-putting, and so forth. It's entertaining stuff for sure. Angie and I both have heard some weird shit expunged from those pulpits over the years, and this is par for the course relative to these churches primary goals. 'Till we'd experienced another approach, we just assumed there weren't other options out there to explore.
Overall, no doubt, church attendance (from a parishioners point of view) - no matter where you go - is a commitment chore. Therefore, the weight of that monotony can be lifted as such. Considering that, we simply wanted more relative to where we were with our personal walk with God, even if it meant less entertaining and more enriching.
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I've often joked that Presbyterians are like graduate degree Christians. And this harkens back to the fact that they love God's Word first and foremost, and aren't as impressed / entertained as easily as other Christ followers.
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Taking all of that into consideration, our church is no doubt biased, in terms of membership, towards the middle-aged to older crowd. Yet, there are a small handful of young couples, and it's one of those that I'd like to focus on here, going forward within this post.
We'll dub them, for sake of anonymity, Stan & Harmony.
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But first...
During our newlywed years, a slightly older couple who'd been married 2 or 3 years longer than we, worshiped with us during our aforementioned Southern Baptist church days. Their names were Dan and Melody.
These two were so complementary of each other. Moreso, I believe, than any other couple we'd met up to that point in time. Dan was Type A, highly intelligent, and charming. Melody was equally as intelligent, but no doubt a Type B. Her demeanor was sweet and loving, if a little quiet.
Eventually, Dan and Melody quietly divorced to everyone's disbelief. They did this prior to procreating, and it coincided with Dan's obvious, though held close to the vest, problem with alcohol.
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Shifting gears back to the present, let's wrap this up by discussing preconceptions. Especially as they pertain to being young and green. One of the biggest weaknesses, if not the biggest weakness, relative to being young/er is naivety. And that naivety is tied to our perceptively greenish view of the world as we know it.
You may believe you've seen the ideal Christian couple. One whose marriage is rock solid whilst blessing everyone around them. The duo look fantastic together and seem inseparable.
Seeing the aforementioned Stan & Harmony sitting in the pew at Lakeside Pres on Sunday mornings, I sometimes believe I've seen them too, but it's a ruse. Just as Dan & Melody were.
Every couple is just one or two steps away from their marriage being on the rocks, and more often than not, it's related to that fleshly pull towards sexual sin or drug (alcohol is a drug) abuse. Therefore, do the work you need to do, find the support you need to find to keep your less than ideal marriage intact and strong.
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