If you consider the first few chapters of the gospel of John, and contrast that to the entire gospel of Mark, you see an entirely different approach to chronicling Jesus' ministry. Entirely. Mark's gospel reads like a graphic novel and John's like a Charles Frazier' novel. The former is action directed, event-oriented while the latter is deeply introspective and thoughtful. It's as if John was inspired to write a book that served more as an anchor of faith for those who were looking to understand the life of Jesus versus an eye-witness accounting.
I delved into the book of John at the end of last week, and by the time Friday night came, I was awestruck at what I was reminded of there.
For a man who struggles mightily with worthlessness, being reminded that we as Christians are "Children of God", "born of both water and spirit" resonates. In fact, more than simply resonate. Blanket. Enlighten. Elevate. You know, those words that we overwork within religious circles in an attempt to describe being filled with the knowledge of God's grace / love for us.
-------------------------
I was thinking this morning about the apostle Paul, and his call to rejoice through suffering. Of course, this begs the question of "How?" and always has.
How do this and not be hypocritical? Where find the genuineness to rejoice amidst the horrific pain of life's sufferings?
It's supernatural. That's it.
You'll never find it from within yourself. Just as I'll never find much value within Rob. Rob as a standalone human being.
But when you consider Rob as a Child of God, born of the Spirit, that changes everything. It brings such peace knowing I was chosen as such. And then there's the mindset that comes with this truth. A deep seated peace that I've been bought, never to be snatched from the hand of my Heavenly Father and his love for me.
It's not unlike waking up to the understanding that you're nothing more than a child who's been adopted into the most elite, prestigious, loving, thoughtful, healthy family of all. The family of God.
I like this analogy because I'm well aware of the failings / misgivings within my own biological family due to the fact that I rub shoulders with them most days. And the same can even be said of our church family. Again, another fine example of imperfectness and at times, relational happenstance. Too, I see these people more often than not as we're heavily involved at Lakeside Pres.
Last night before bed, I prayed explicitly that my understanding of these gifts / my identity in Him would expand further and further into my mind / soul. Why? Because it serves as the antidote, the healing elixir if you will, for my broken down heart.
I am a Child of God, born of the Spirit. Please Lord, keep me from becoming a jaded middle-aged man who's emotions hold sway over him moment by moment. May I rejoice, no matter the circumstances presented before me.
Monday, September 9, 2019
Friday, September 6, 2019
World Book Encyclopedia - When Content Takes Precedent Over High Quality Presentation
When I was a boy, my grandparents (on my mother's side of our family) lived in a +/-900 sf ranch house next to a Mississippi Delta drainage ditch. It was sited adjacent to a gravel road in rural Humphreys county, Mississippi. My parents lived with my grandparents soon after they married, and it's important that you know that their marriage came about upon their realizing that they were pregnant with me. At this time in 1972, they had nothing but their love for each other combined with their aspirations situated demonstratively underneath an umbrella of faith, and I must admit that's very scary and weird for me as their only child to think about today due to the fact that they were only 17 and 18 at the time.
Nonetheless, by the time I was 4 to 4-1/2 years old, we were living here in Jackson in an apartment complex. My father had obtained his degree and now was working as an advertising salesmen 40+ hours a week. Taking where they were as a couple into consideration, they did venture back to Humphreys county often to see family and friends.
My grandparents had a complete set of World Book Encyclopedias. These were all crammed together on the second to lowest shelf of a wooden bookcase within one of the minuscule bedrooms at their house. One of my most favorite ways to bide my time as a boy was to pick out an encyclopedia volume to read. I would spend hours and hours perusing the pages of whichever volume I'd chosen, learning and absorbing everything along the way about our world as presented by World Book.
Today, as a 47 year old, I'm similarly always eager to read in an effort to know and understand the world, but today, it is the Internet that is my encyclopedia.
-------------------------
As an adult, I make a point to know and engage with intelligent people. My best friend in high school was one of the most intelligent boys I'd ever encountered, and this is the primary attribute that drew me to him. Prior to our becoming friends, I'd always been enthralled at his intellect and how articulate he was as a teen. Plus, he was very musically inclined, playing both the piano and clarinet. I admired all of these attributes, but mostly because his intellect made for a razor sharp sense of humor that was unlike anything I'd experienced prior.
Writing is no doubt a sign of intelligence. And to write really well is very difficult to pull off. I know this because I speak from experience. Great writing takes a monumental amount of work combined with creativity. Plus, you must know and understand your audience which is arguably the most difficult task of a writer.
Considering all of this, I really enjoy reading well written articles / diatribes online due to the fact that it speaks to the individual who took the time to write it. Hence, I'll get to know them better, and subsequently, follow their work if they're a regular contributor to a site while learning / expanding my own knowledge base. And I love these things very much because it provides a means to connect intimately with another person's intelligence whom you've never met.
-------------------------
Today though, I'm making the choice to walk away from a particular URL, and this is not easy to do as I've attempted to do it once before.
Rob visits about 3 to 4 sites at least once every day, and all of these but one are news / commentary sites (the outsider is a popular video site).
The one I've chosen to walk away from is the most intelligently written and therefore, to me, arguably the most captivating of all of my favorites, but it's also a holistically pagan and anti-Christian site.
--------------------------
I can remember being in college and choosing to jettison my Indigo Girls and Erasure CDs due to their emphasis / celebration on / of the homosexual lifestyle. I had come to a point where I could no longer stomach the notion of supporting these entertainers who were so vocal relative to their beliefs regarding human sexuality.
That's not really where I'm at with this aforementioned URL, yet the feelings accompanying this decision are similar. I do not own these sites, but unlike what the music on the CDs was doing, the ever changing content does make an impact on me as I choose to consume it.
Have you ever felt constrained by your faith? That's how I feel today about this, but at the same time, I know firsthand how unhealthy and completely pagan so much of the daily content offered via this site is. Nonetheless, it's fun and very stimulating to read, and makes me feel much smarter than I really am. Again, I'm drawn to intelligence. Plain and simple.
Like a country boy in the big city, if you know what I mean. It's sorta that feeling of being swept away...
So long. Farewell. God bless. It's time I shored up my mind / soul despite my being enthralled with such high quality presentation.
Man, there are some smart people out there.
Lagniappe
Nonetheless, by the time I was 4 to 4-1/2 years old, we were living here in Jackson in an apartment complex. My father had obtained his degree and now was working as an advertising salesmen 40+ hours a week. Taking where they were as a couple into consideration, they did venture back to Humphreys county often to see family and friends.
My grandparents had a complete set of World Book Encyclopedias. These were all crammed together on the second to lowest shelf of a wooden bookcase within one of the minuscule bedrooms at their house. One of my most favorite ways to bide my time as a boy was to pick out an encyclopedia volume to read. I would spend hours and hours perusing the pages of whichever volume I'd chosen, learning and absorbing everything along the way about our world as presented by World Book.
Today, as a 47 year old, I'm similarly always eager to read in an effort to know and understand the world, but today, it is the Internet that is my encyclopedia.
-------------------------
As an adult, I make a point to know and engage with intelligent people. My best friend in high school was one of the most intelligent boys I'd ever encountered, and this is the primary attribute that drew me to him. Prior to our becoming friends, I'd always been enthralled at his intellect and how articulate he was as a teen. Plus, he was very musically inclined, playing both the piano and clarinet. I admired all of these attributes, but mostly because his intellect made for a razor sharp sense of humor that was unlike anything I'd experienced prior.
Writing is no doubt a sign of intelligence. And to write really well is very difficult to pull off. I know this because I speak from experience. Great writing takes a monumental amount of work combined with creativity. Plus, you must know and understand your audience which is arguably the most difficult task of a writer.
Considering all of this, I really enjoy reading well written articles / diatribes online due to the fact that it speaks to the individual who took the time to write it. Hence, I'll get to know them better, and subsequently, follow their work if they're a regular contributor to a site while learning / expanding my own knowledge base. And I love these things very much because it provides a means to connect intimately with another person's intelligence whom you've never met.
-------------------------
Today though, I'm making the choice to walk away from a particular URL, and this is not easy to do as I've attempted to do it once before.
Rob visits about 3 to 4 sites at least once every day, and all of these but one are news / commentary sites (the outsider is a popular video site).
The one I've chosen to walk away from is the most intelligently written and therefore, to me, arguably the most captivating of all of my favorites, but it's also a holistically pagan and anti-Christian site.
--------------------------
I can remember being in college and choosing to jettison my Indigo Girls and Erasure CDs due to their emphasis / celebration on / of the homosexual lifestyle. I had come to a point where I could no longer stomach the notion of supporting these entertainers who were so vocal relative to their beliefs regarding human sexuality.
That's not really where I'm at with this aforementioned URL, yet the feelings accompanying this decision are similar. I do not own these sites, but unlike what the music on the CDs was doing, the ever changing content does make an impact on me as I choose to consume it.
Have you ever felt constrained by your faith? That's how I feel today about this, but at the same time, I know firsthand how unhealthy and completely pagan so much of the daily content offered via this site is. Nonetheless, it's fun and very stimulating to read, and makes me feel much smarter than I really am. Again, I'm drawn to intelligence. Plain and simple.
Like a country boy in the big city, if you know what I mean. It's sorta that feeling of being swept away...
So long. Farewell. God bless. It's time I shored up my mind / soul despite my being enthralled with such high quality presentation.
Man, there are some smart people out there.
Lagniappe
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Resisting Societal Pressures In Pursuit of Holiness
You're never going to hear the word holiness within mainstream culture. Just as you'll never hear the word sin. That's because they simply run counter to what our culture elevates / celebrates / embraces day after day after day.
Cultural norms embrace depravity. Sin is normalized. There is no higher standard, i.e. perfection or comprehension on any level of God's love / grace for his people because man is god himself.
What drives these lies is the illusion of authority each of us is exposed to on a daily basis. Our own independent authority. This is authenticated by the single family home, the singular automobile, my pocket computer, my vocation, my retirement account, my children, my hobbies, my church, my sexuality and so forth. All of which reinforces the singular concept of ME and my rights and my independent authority.
Ultimately, it comes down to being convinced that I'm accountable to no one and that none of these aforementioned items are anything other than RIGHTS.
Well, that's just horseshit.
-------------------------
God brought you into being. It's by his grace that you exist and receive the tangible "rights" that are at your disposal each and every day. He put you on this Earth at this point in time on whatever soil he chose - for one reason - to glorify him.
But, if you were to listen to our culture, that truth would never come through. And without that truth, we're simply never going to comprehend holiness because we do not on any level comprehend God.
Therefore, what can we do to comprehend God?
Look to his Son. It's the easiest, most prolific source of knowledge relative to God and his holiness, and what's so helpful about studying the life of Jesus, as it's presented within the gospels, is you'll in tandem see a man who glorifies God (his Heavenly Father).
-------------------------
But Jesus didn't have a single family home, an automobile, a pocket computer, a vocation, a retirement account, children, hobbies, church home, or even have sex - all of which separate my mindset from his own! All I can say to that is he was 100% God and 100% man all at once yet still served as the perfect standard for achieving consistent holiness, day after day after day. My advice to you (and to myself) is to put those cultural shelters aside within your mind / soul long enough to empathize with Christ. And I'll say it again, he was 100% God and 100% man all at once. Marinate on that truth.
-------------------------
In closing, why pursue holiness?
It's the only thing worth living for because God is the only trustworthy, unchanging absolute in man's life / existence, and he's proven that through his son and what his son did on our behalf (atonement).
Be faithful to what God created you to be today by being obedient to him and ever aware of whose you are each and every moment. This is what brings true joy and peace that surpasses understanding, and those two gifts / absolute rights (as adopted sons of God) fuel our pursuit of holiness as our eyes are continually opened to the erroneous "truths" within our culture.
"But as many as received Him, to them He gave THE RIGHT to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."
John 1: 12-13
Cultural norms embrace depravity. Sin is normalized. There is no higher standard, i.e. perfection or comprehension on any level of God's love / grace for his people because man is god himself.
What drives these lies is the illusion of authority each of us is exposed to on a daily basis. Our own independent authority. This is authenticated by the single family home, the singular automobile, my pocket computer, my vocation, my retirement account, my children, my hobbies, my church, my sexuality and so forth. All of which reinforces the singular concept of ME and my rights and my independent authority.
Ultimately, it comes down to being convinced that I'm accountable to no one and that none of these aforementioned items are anything other than RIGHTS.
Well, that's just horseshit.
-------------------------
God brought you into being. It's by his grace that you exist and receive the tangible "rights" that are at your disposal each and every day. He put you on this Earth at this point in time on whatever soil he chose - for one reason - to glorify him.
But, if you were to listen to our culture, that truth would never come through. And without that truth, we're simply never going to comprehend holiness because we do not on any level comprehend God.
Therefore, what can we do to comprehend God?
Look to his Son. It's the easiest, most prolific source of knowledge relative to God and his holiness, and what's so helpful about studying the life of Jesus, as it's presented within the gospels, is you'll in tandem see a man who glorifies God (his Heavenly Father).
-------------------------
But Jesus didn't have a single family home, an automobile, a pocket computer, a vocation, a retirement account, children, hobbies, church home, or even have sex - all of which separate my mindset from his own! All I can say to that is he was 100% God and 100% man all at once yet still served as the perfect standard for achieving consistent holiness, day after day after day. My advice to you (and to myself) is to put those cultural shelters aside within your mind / soul long enough to empathize with Christ. And I'll say it again, he was 100% God and 100% man all at once. Marinate on that truth.
-------------------------
In closing, why pursue holiness?
It's the only thing worth living for because God is the only trustworthy, unchanging absolute in man's life / existence, and he's proven that through his son and what his son did on our behalf (atonement).
Be faithful to what God created you to be today by being obedient to him and ever aware of whose you are each and every moment. This is what brings true joy and peace that surpasses understanding, and those two gifts / absolute rights (as adopted sons of God) fuel our pursuit of holiness as our eyes are continually opened to the erroneous "truths" within our culture.
"But as many as received Him, to them He gave THE RIGHT to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."
John 1: 12-13
Sunday, September 1, 2019
No One Really Cares About Your Problems (Except Perhaps Your Momma)
I met one of the most devout Christian men I'd ever run across back in 2006. He was from small town Mississippi, having recently been appointed to a state government administrative position here in Jackson. This position entailed he soon replace his "second in command" who was a man whom had served within the state agency he'd been appointed to for decades.
Within most administrative state government positions / lineage, individuals stay put 'till their eligible via PERS to retire. This devout Christian man was no different, though via this new appointment, he was given the opportunity to work within a more challenging / influential position and subsequently, make more money (both then and expectedly during his future retirement tenure).
I was overjoyed to be interviewed by this man for the aforementioned "second in command" position. I was young, but had the leadership skills / drive to do the job well - and man, did I ever want to take on this challenge! Nonetheless, I didn't make the cut. And especially considering this man's obvious Christian stance, I was no doubt extremely disappointed.
Christian bosses had never been part of my vocational narrative up to that point. Ever. Even during architecture school - if not especially during architecture school - pagans lead the way.
The entire notion of working for a devout Christian was incredibly appealing to me. I just knew I would excel within that kind of environment - knowing that I would be reporting directly to him!
-------------------------
Two years past and I received a telephone call from this man - my devout Christian superhero!
The good news of an open position hit me like a love bomb. I was elated to now have the opportunity to work for this man.
Henceforth, I was on my way to becoming a bureaucrat! Hurray!
--------------------------
Despite my not being appointed at this time to the originally sought "second in command" position, I excelled as a minion, working diligently to use my skillset on behalf of the state of Mississippi. I really enjoyed the work and actually didn't mind the arduous workload despite my not actually seeing my Christian Superhero much at all. On the exterior, it was all such a breath of fresh air for me.
-------------------------
Now, let's talk about what was going on personally within Rob during this time.
This was well before I became privy to Samson Society, therefore my struggles with worthlessness / Internet porn were running absolutely unchecked.
To demonstrate this, I remember clearly one day whilst sneaking a quick peek at salacious material online at my bureaucrat cubicle. There came from behind me the following statement: "This was the reason I chose Frank over you."
I swiftly swiveled around in my cubicle, only to see my Christian Superhero there shaming me. I remember looking up at his disappointed countenance, and being so shocked at what he'd just spoken that it left me completely speechless.
"This. Was. The. Reason. I. Chose. Frank. Over. You."
Essentially, I had now received confirmation of the fact that Rob was (and perhaps always had been) nothing more in his mind than a liability. Just. Like. That.
-------------------------
Christian Superhero never spoke to me after he made that adjudication. Not. One. Word. (I kind of like separating my words like that). And this was despite my additional 3 to 4 years of working at that bureau.
It reminded me (whilst looking back) on the time my father shamed me intensely (as a middle schooler) over my masturbation habit by repeatedly attempting to catch me in the act. I can only assume that Christian Superhero must have suspected something, and therefore took it upon himself to take the same approach my father had all those years ago.
Suffice to say, overall, my father has quite the penchant for reminding me of how I qualify within his mind as a liability - for numerous problematic reasons that go far beyond my middle school days. Hence, I steer clear of him as much as I can. As you might imagine, from this point forward, I did the same with Christian Superhero, though thankfully, that wasn't all that hard to do because as I mentioned prior, he seemed to intentionally steer clear of me after this particular juncture.
-------------------------
The hard lesson here for all of us is that a man's hopes and dreams of being intentionally cared for in relation to his own personal struggles (whatever they may be) aren't likely to pan out outside of a community like Samson Society.
Even within the most well-intentioned churches with the most devout Christian Superheroes, if there's an opportunity to discount / label another man as a liability to the group (body), that labeling will typically come about.
And we all do this as sinners. In fact, I find myself doing it every day whether I'm panning the congregation from the choir loft at Lakeside Pres or eyeing the panhandler standing on the curb on my way to the office each morning.
Liability there. Liability there. Liability over there. Liability there. Liability there. Liabilities everywhere!
It just feels so good to look down on people. Doesn't it?
-------------------------
This is why it's so critical that men seek help (and hopefully eventually find it) for their problems / personal struggles. If not, their problems / personal struggles will dramatically undermine both their present and future as it relates to their marriage, vocation, and so forth. It's only a matter of time.
All the more reason to take the resource of Samson Society very, very seriously, and give thanks to God for making it available to you and me both.
Within most administrative state government positions / lineage, individuals stay put 'till their eligible via PERS to retire. This devout Christian man was no different, though via this new appointment, he was given the opportunity to work within a more challenging / influential position and subsequently, make more money (both then and expectedly during his future retirement tenure).
I was overjoyed to be interviewed by this man for the aforementioned "second in command" position. I was young, but had the leadership skills / drive to do the job well - and man, did I ever want to take on this challenge! Nonetheless, I didn't make the cut. And especially considering this man's obvious Christian stance, I was no doubt extremely disappointed.
Christian bosses had never been part of my vocational narrative up to that point. Ever. Even during architecture school - if not especially during architecture school - pagans lead the way.
The entire notion of working for a devout Christian was incredibly appealing to me. I just knew I would excel within that kind of environment - knowing that I would be reporting directly to him!
-------------------------
Two years past and I received a telephone call from this man - my devout Christian superhero!
The good news of an open position hit me like a love bomb. I was elated to now have the opportunity to work for this man.
Henceforth, I was on my way to becoming a bureaucrat! Hurray!
--------------------------
Despite my not being appointed at this time to the originally sought "second in command" position, I excelled as a minion, working diligently to use my skillset on behalf of the state of Mississippi. I really enjoyed the work and actually didn't mind the arduous workload despite my not actually seeing my Christian Superhero much at all. On the exterior, it was all such a breath of fresh air for me.
-------------------------
Now, let's talk about what was going on personally within Rob during this time.
This was well before I became privy to Samson Society, therefore my struggles with worthlessness / Internet porn were running absolutely unchecked.
To demonstrate this, I remember clearly one day whilst sneaking a quick peek at salacious material online at my bureaucrat cubicle. There came from behind me the following statement: "This was the reason I chose Frank over you."
I swiftly swiveled around in my cubicle, only to see my Christian Superhero there shaming me. I remember looking up at his disappointed countenance, and being so shocked at what he'd just spoken that it left me completely speechless.
"This. Was. The. Reason. I. Chose. Frank. Over. You."
Essentially, I had now received confirmation of the fact that Rob was (and perhaps always had been) nothing more in his mind than a liability. Just. Like. That.
-------------------------
Christian Superhero never spoke to me after he made that adjudication. Not. One. Word. (I kind of like separating my words like that). And this was despite my additional 3 to 4 years of working at that bureau.
It reminded me (whilst looking back) on the time my father shamed me intensely (as a middle schooler) over my masturbation habit by repeatedly attempting to catch me in the act. I can only assume that Christian Superhero must have suspected something, and therefore took it upon himself to take the same approach my father had all those years ago.
Suffice to say, overall, my father has quite the penchant for reminding me of how I qualify within his mind as a liability - for numerous problematic reasons that go far beyond my middle school days. Hence, I steer clear of him as much as I can. As you might imagine, from this point forward, I did the same with Christian Superhero, though thankfully, that wasn't all that hard to do because as I mentioned prior, he seemed to intentionally steer clear of me after this particular juncture.
-------------------------
The hard lesson here for all of us is that a man's hopes and dreams of being intentionally cared for in relation to his own personal struggles (whatever they may be) aren't likely to pan out outside of a community like Samson Society.
Even within the most well-intentioned churches with the most devout Christian Superheroes, if there's an opportunity to discount / label another man as a liability to the group (body), that labeling will typically come about.
And we all do this as sinners. In fact, I find myself doing it every day whether I'm panning the congregation from the choir loft at Lakeside Pres or eyeing the panhandler standing on the curb on my way to the office each morning.
Liability there. Liability there. Liability over there. Liability there. Liability there. Liabilities everywhere!
It just feels so good to look down on people. Doesn't it?
-------------------------
This is why it's so critical that men seek help (and hopefully eventually find it) for their problems / personal struggles. If not, their problems / personal struggles will dramatically undermine both their present and future as it relates to their marriage, vocation, and so forth. It's only a matter of time.
All the more reason to take the resource of Samson Society very, very seriously, and give thanks to God for making it available to you and me both.
Saturday, August 31, 2019
Harkens Back
Is there any more definitive venue than high school football games that parlay out the masculine and feminine roles? Teenagers expertly ramp this up considerably with their hormones and cliche demeanor. Athletes, cheerleaders, dance squads. Drum line, flag girls, mascots. And on and on it goes. Everyone has their specific role with absolutely no overlap. Males here. Females there. This uniform, that uniform. That build. That pose. Those rituals.
I would know because I too was once a teen, and during my high school career, I spent most every Friday night at the football field. Rob attended a small private academy in Madison. Having graduated in 1990, this school was definitely not in its prime academically, but from an athletics standpoint, we held our ground quite well.
My involvement in the marching band is what dictated my attendance at each and every game. I played clarinet when I wasn't drum majoring. I did this because my backside is my best side, therefore what better way to make a good impression?
-------------------------
Yesterday, I had lunch with my oldest friend. Like myself, he has an 11th grade daughter who's attending a sizable local high school. I asked if he attended the Friday night football games. He said no, but that his daughter did with her friends.
This friend adores football, and his daughter's high school team is renowned for being very competitive, therefore why didn't he attend the games with her, taking his younger son along too?
He decreed that because it's varsity football, he's uninterested. Hmmm....
-------------------------
I experience feelings of worthlessness whilst attending my daughter's high school football games, but despite this fact, I'm there at every home game due to the fact that Caroline (my 11th grade daughter) is on the dance team.
Where are these feelings originating from?
Frankly, I'm not completely sure, but I do know it has a lot to do with how attending these games harkens back to my teenage years.
Imagine feeling like a plant, say a Holly Bush, whilst watching / playing music at your high school's football games. That's how I felt as a teenager. Literally. Plants are simply background here in Mississippi due to the fact that they're everywhere. Also, plants come across as asexual. Too, that was an identifier for me.
Also, plants have no brain. Again, I can relate. The game of football, for the longest time, befuddled me, but that was especially the case in high school. I simply could not keep up with whom had the ball, what down it was, and which team was headed in which direction.
So, last night at the Northwest Rankin versus Gulfport High football game, I was the Holly Bush in the stands. Certainly, I'd grown a little since 1988, but overall, I was still just a benign plant. And frankly, it prompted many more negative feelings than I'd like to be dealing with right now.
-------------------------
Now, back to my old friend whom I mentioned earlier.
Jesse had a shitty high school experience. I know this because he's described it to me. He went to public school down in south Mississippi, and he was the consummate outcast. Some of the hi-jinx he endured, were I to record them here, would make you cringe in vicarious shame.
And that's why (I believe) he steers clear of his daughter's high school football games. For him, college served as a relief valve. An escape from hell in so many ways. Therefore, his Mississippi State Bulldogs, he lives to support through and through in honor of that specific collegiate era of his life.
-------------------------
It is so weird feeling like a fucking plant.
I would know because I too was once a teen, and during my high school career, I spent most every Friday night at the football field. Rob attended a small private academy in Madison. Having graduated in 1990, this school was definitely not in its prime academically, but from an athletics standpoint, we held our ground quite well.
My involvement in the marching band is what dictated my attendance at each and every game. I played clarinet when I wasn't drum majoring. I did this because my backside is my best side, therefore what better way to make a good impression?
-------------------------
Yesterday, I had lunch with my oldest friend. Like myself, he has an 11th grade daughter who's attending a sizable local high school. I asked if he attended the Friday night football games. He said no, but that his daughter did with her friends.
This friend adores football, and his daughter's high school team is renowned for being very competitive, therefore why didn't he attend the games with her, taking his younger son along too?
He decreed that because it's varsity football, he's uninterested. Hmmm....
-------------------------
I experience feelings of worthlessness whilst attending my daughter's high school football games, but despite this fact, I'm there at every home game due to the fact that Caroline (my 11th grade daughter) is on the dance team.
Where are these feelings originating from?
Frankly, I'm not completely sure, but I do know it has a lot to do with how attending these games harkens back to my teenage years.
Imagine feeling like a plant, say a Holly Bush, whilst watching / playing music at your high school's football games. That's how I felt as a teenager. Literally. Plants are simply background here in Mississippi due to the fact that they're everywhere. Also, plants come across as asexual. Too, that was an identifier for me.
Also, plants have no brain. Again, I can relate. The game of football, for the longest time, befuddled me, but that was especially the case in high school. I simply could not keep up with whom had the ball, what down it was, and which team was headed in which direction.
So, last night at the Northwest Rankin versus Gulfport High football game, I was the Holly Bush in the stands. Certainly, I'd grown a little since 1988, but overall, I was still just a benign plant. And frankly, it prompted many more negative feelings than I'd like to be dealing with right now.
-------------------------
Now, back to my old friend whom I mentioned earlier.
Jesse had a shitty high school experience. I know this because he's described it to me. He went to public school down in south Mississippi, and he was the consummate outcast. Some of the hi-jinx he endured, were I to record them here, would make you cringe in vicarious shame.
And that's why (I believe) he steers clear of his daughter's high school football games. For him, college served as a relief valve. An escape from hell in so many ways. Therefore, his Mississippi State Bulldogs, he lives to support through and through in honor of that specific collegiate era of his life.
-------------------------
It is so weird feeling like a fucking plant.
Samson Society Isn't Where You're Setting Yourself Up To Be Pursued
If my experience over the past 5 years whilst being involved with Samson Society has taught me anything, it's taught me that this ministry is no place to look for opportunities to serve and subsequently, end up being pursued. Now, you likely will serve, if you're asked to be someone's Silas or if you facilitate a group, but coming into this ministry looking for servant opportunities, isn't where it's at.
This is probably the biggest differentiator between Samson Society and any other religious-based ministry involving men.
Men, typically within religious orgs, are expected to serve. They're often asked to lead through serving, in fact. This oftentimes is a precursor for keeping men outside of the walls of churches as they simply do not wish to be relegated to that particular role. But, for those of us who grew up in churches, we observed men of every ilk, serve, serve, serve through their attendance, volunteerism, attitudes, etc.
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I have a new friend in Samson Society who's not understanding this as of late, and he's admitted repeatedly that it's simply "in his DNA" to serve. We'll call him a "giver". Therefore, inevitably, oftentimes our conversations end with him asking me how he can be of help - in particular as it relates to me pursuing him as a friend.
Isn't that nice, kind, and considerate of him?
It is, but he's wasting his time here.
It's not that I'm not appreciative of his servitude, but it's not helpful to either me nor him within this community.
So, why is that?
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When you position yourself to serve others within Samson Society, you're selling out your own self and the work that you need to do there.
Let me repeat that.
When you position yourself to serve others within Samson Society, you're selling out your own self and the work that you need to do there.
Therefore, this runs counter to the sole purpose of Samson Society.
Samson Society is a selfish, self-focused, self-centered pursuit. Essentially, it's all about you and your recovery / story.
So, what does that look like?
Unlike men in church, you as a Samson Society member make demands of other people. Firstly, you do this by asking another man to be your Silas. From there, you speak up in meetings, taking your opportunity to be heard seriously and very self-focusedly. You don't talk about anyone or anything but what's going on inside your head at that particular moment, and similarly, as you're engaging with your Silas, you do likewise. You focus on you.
You reach out to your Silas as often as you'd like, and you do so with one goal in mind: to appease / serve your own self.
Sounds awfully self-centered, doesn't it?
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Stop serving / attempting to serve others within Samson Society! Take pleasure in, for once, doing / experiencing something that's exclusively for your benefit. Within this setting, there's nothing to prove, no goals to meet, no reputation to uphold, therefore enjoy yourself as you focus on your recovery.
And remember, that your recovery benefits those you love outside of Samson Society, therefore by being as self-focused as you need to be within our community, you're actually serving them.
This is probably the biggest differentiator between Samson Society and any other religious-based ministry involving men.
Men, typically within religious orgs, are expected to serve. They're often asked to lead through serving, in fact. This oftentimes is a precursor for keeping men outside of the walls of churches as they simply do not wish to be relegated to that particular role. But, for those of us who grew up in churches, we observed men of every ilk, serve, serve, serve through their attendance, volunteerism, attitudes, etc.
-------------------------
I have a new friend in Samson Society who's not understanding this as of late, and he's admitted repeatedly that it's simply "in his DNA" to serve. We'll call him a "giver". Therefore, inevitably, oftentimes our conversations end with him asking me how he can be of help - in particular as it relates to me pursuing him as a friend.
Isn't that nice, kind, and considerate of him?
It is, but he's wasting his time here.
It's not that I'm not appreciative of his servitude, but it's not helpful to either me nor him within this community.
So, why is that?
-------------------------
When you position yourself to serve others within Samson Society, you're selling out your own self and the work that you need to do there.
Let me repeat that.
When you position yourself to serve others within Samson Society, you're selling out your own self and the work that you need to do there.
Therefore, this runs counter to the sole purpose of Samson Society.
Samson Society is a selfish, self-focused, self-centered pursuit. Essentially, it's all about you and your recovery / story.
So, what does that look like?
Unlike men in church, you as a Samson Society member make demands of other people. Firstly, you do this by asking another man to be your Silas. From there, you speak up in meetings, taking your opportunity to be heard seriously and very self-focusedly. You don't talk about anyone or anything but what's going on inside your head at that particular moment, and similarly, as you're engaging with your Silas, you do likewise. You focus on you.
You reach out to your Silas as often as you'd like, and you do so with one goal in mind: to appease / serve your own self.
Sounds awfully self-centered, doesn't it?
-------------------------
Stop serving / attempting to serve others within Samson Society! Take pleasure in, for once, doing / experiencing something that's exclusively for your benefit. Within this setting, there's nothing to prove, no goals to meet, no reputation to uphold, therefore enjoy yourself as you focus on your recovery.
And remember, that your recovery benefits those you love outside of Samson Society, therefore by being as self-focused as you need to be within our community, you're actually serving them.
Monday, August 26, 2019
Pray For The Waller Family
Typically, rejection is the greatest fear facing men, but for men who choose to run for political office, they must choose to put those specific fears aside.
When I was a boy, my family attended FBC Jackson every Sunday, and many Sunday mornings, Bob, Darlene, and I would sit directly behind the Waller family. Mrs. Waller (Don's mother) typically came to church with a hibiscus bloom pinned to her blouse (if it were this time of year). I remember this because back in the '80s is when churches began having formal "greeting time" during the service, and First Baptist was no different. Ms. Waller would always turn around and say hello, and I'd comment on the beauty of her hibiscus bloom - moreso to be a know-it-all kid than anything else. She would always smile back at me politely prior to acknowledging the frivolities of my botanical knowledge. I loved it!
Fast forward to 2014 and Rob's in over his head via deep emotional trauma, and subsequently ends up in Mrs. Waller's son's office at Summit Counseling. From there, I attend her son's "group" that following Wednesday night, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Each of you has a personal story as to how you came to know Don Waller intimately, though none of you likely have a similar tangential connection to his family as I do.
Nonetheless, I know you care about Don and by association, his family, therefore on behalf of the Waller clan, especially over the next 30 days, be in prayer.
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| Top photo looks to be in the spirit of Samson Society. Governor Waller had great hair. |
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| Taken during first Samson Society retreat - late Spring of 2016. |
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| Fun at Andrew's abode. |
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