Samson Society Isn't Where You're Setting Yourself Up To Be Pursued

If my experience over the past 5 years whilst being involved with Samson Society has taught me anything, it's taught me that this ministry is no place to look for opportunities to serve and subsequently, end up being pursued.  Now, you likely will serve, if you're asked to be someone's Silas or if you facilitate a group, but coming into this ministry looking for servant opportunities, isn't where it's at.

This is probably the biggest differentiator between Samson Society and any other religious-based ministry involving men.

Men, typically within religious orgs, are expected to serve.  They're often asked to lead through serving, in fact.  This oftentimes is a precursor for keeping men outside of the walls of churches as they simply do not wish to be relegated to that particular role.  But, for those of us who grew up in churches, we observed men of every ilk, serve, serve, serve through their attendance, volunteerism, attitudes, etc.

-------------------------

I have a new friend in Samson Society who's not understanding this as of late, and he's admitted repeatedly that it's simply "in his DNA" to serve.  We'll call him a "giver".  Therefore, inevitably, oftentimes our conversations end with him asking me how he can be of help - in particular as it relates to me pursuing him as a friend.

Isn't that nice, kind, and considerate of him?

It is, but he's wasting his time here.

It's not that I'm not appreciative of his servitude, but it's not helpful to either me nor him within this community.

So, why is that?

-------------------------

When you position yourself to serve others within Samson Society, you're selling out your own self and the work that you need to do there.

Let me repeat that.

When you position yourself to serve others within Samson Society, you're selling out your own self and the work that you need to do there.

Therefore, this runs counter to the sole purpose of Samson Society.

Samson Society is a selfish, self-focused, self-centered pursuit.  Essentially, it's all about you and your recovery / story.

So, what does that look like?

Unlike men in church, you as a Samson Society member make demands of other people.  Firstly, you do this by asking another man to be your Silas.  From there, you speak up in meetings, taking your opportunity to be heard seriously and very self-focusedly.  You don't talk about anyone or anything but what's going on inside your head at that particular moment, and similarly, as you're engaging with your Silas, you do likewise.  You focus on you.

You reach out to your Silas as often as you'd like, and you do so with one goal in mind:  to appease / serve your own self.

Sounds awfully self-centered, doesn't it?

-------------------------

Stop serving / attempting to serve others within Samson Society!  Take pleasure in, for once, doing / experiencing something that's exclusively for your benefit.  Within this setting, there's nothing to prove, no goals to meet, no reputation to uphold, therefore enjoy yourself as you focus on your recovery.

And remember, that your recovery benefits those you love outside of Samson Society, therefore by being as self-focused as you need to be within our community, you're actually serving them.