Don't Be A Communication Coward / Refuse To Terminate Relationships (Personal Or Professional) Through The Written Word

To terminate a relationship is a big deal, and there are times when it's necessary both personally or professionally.  Therefore, as such, handling the termination calls for finesse and respect.  For how you handle it reinforces your muster as an individual.  Plus, it makes you respectful by providing the other party an opportunity to hear directly from you and respond as they see fit to.  This is what decent human beings do.

Yet, we have so many means of communication available to us.  Face-to-face, telephone, text messaging, email, social media, and on and on.

Yet, each of these means or methods are far from equal to each other relative to appropriateness and decency - considering the seriousness of relational termination.

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If relational termination is what you've chosen to execute, never, ever, ever do it in writing.  Under any circumstance whatsoever.  

Now, if you're uneasy about executing the termination alone, bring a friend along for relational support.  Even if that friend just happens to be a cop.

Relational termination deserves proper closure because both personal and professional relationships take an awful lot of work.  And that work should be honored and respected throughout (including at the eventual end).

Recommended Viewing

Acknowledge Your Brokenness. Pivot From There To Christ.

Here in the Deep South, we tend to point out other's faults as a mainstay of our culture, keeping a historical record along the way.

We do this in lieu of stating the obvious (log within our own eye) and allowing our focus to be therein.

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Why do we do this?

Living within this part of America has its traditions.  One of which is religion.  Lots and lots of religion.  Another of those traditions is being hyper discriminate.  This seems to have been born out of our region being the inevitable underdog.  Having to endure being in this position makes for a cagey outlook, especially as our world seemingly gets smaller.  

Also, there simply aren't as many individuals here, and as such, (whites and blacks) there's truly two distinct communities, separated by race (& much economic / educational disparities) as the clear dividing rod.

Less people equates to more opportunities to qualify individuals in great detail.  Believe me, I know this firsthand.  Think small town versus big city.

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There is a religious community of thought which celebrates the notion of putting one's focus on personal achievement, purpose and skill, and pandering to that success via the pleasurable trappings of material wealth.  All as a result of being blessed, blessed, blessed by God.

It's an approach that makes you look good and your notion of God too.  And this is supposed to encourage life change and faith in the unseen.  You might call it the "do-gooder's gospel".

Plus, it makes for a black & white understanding of who's holy and who isn't - if you know what I mean - based on the size of their bank account.

And then there are those who've looked deeper into the Scriptures, having taken note of a much more apparent theme.  That being restoration.

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Scripture is banked heavily on what's referred to as a covenant.  There's an old (w/ Abraham) and new one (Jesus, our messiah), and both are promises from God to his people.  And when it refers to his people in Scripture, it's referring to individuals fully known by God - every detail known - since the beginning of time itself.  In other words, before the creation of the world that he spoke into being - you know, "In the beginning...".  

The restoration theme is only there in order to put the emphasis or glory on God.  And this is the ultimate truth of what we as his people are to focus on.  His glory.

So how do we do this?

By having a very specific understanding of how we ourselves were once in need prior to no longer being needy.  Once in need of redemption prior to be redeemed.  Once in need of salvation prior to be saved.  

From.  To.  Without forgetting the From.  All the while basking in the beauty therein of our triune God.

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The ultimate question is this (for those of you interested in this restoration).  Do you enjoy sin?  [If yes, there's the necessary acknowledgement.]  Secondary to that question is this.  Are you interested in finding a way out?  [If yes, there's the quagmire.]  And finally, to top it off.  Do you have the necessary faith in Jesus to take that first step?  [Look to Christ for the faith that you'll need.  He promises to provide it to his children.]

     

What Does Samson Society Mean To You In 2021?

For some men, the notion of stepping foot back into the Samson Society meeting they've frequented for years now leaves much to be desired, and this is in no thanks to certain Samson colleagues and what they choose to bring to the table during most every meeting they attend.

Overall, some of this is due to "old-timers" getting nary too comfortable for others to stomach (them), and doing so not only within the meetings / after-meetings but via group chat sessions as well.

The Metro Jackson Samson Society groups do have our fair share of "old-timers".  These are men who've been involved for many, many years now, most if not all of which, originated from the First Baptist Church Jackson Samson Society group.

So, what do I mean by "too comfortable"?

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When you're attending Samson Society meetings in order to (in all honesty) simply hear yourself talk, you've become too comfortable.  There's a level of "poise" (if you will) there that's not helpful to anyone (including yourself).  

In the past, we had a very regular Samson man attend the Lakeside Pres group every Saturday morning.  This man believed his car was extraordinary, and one of the reasons he came each Saturday morning was to remind us of that.  He also wanted to facilitate the group, having made that known to me (indirectly) as well.  

He even abruptly left one of our meetings when he felt he'd been "dissed" (disrespected) by me (the actual facilitator) when I chose to turn off a noisy window A/C unit.

Eventually, this dude stopped coming.  Thanks be to God.  His antics were really starting to get old.  

Hopefully, the time he's now spent elsewhere has been better received. 

As a facilitator, it's hard to know exactly what your roles are whilst dealing with ornery, offensive, "I'm just here to hear myself talk" old-timers.  For you see, we're really only there to open the door, turn on the lights, and read the Samson Society charter.  Everything else simply happens in spite of our meager role.

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As of late, I know there are men out there who need to embrace a change of scenery, and not only for themselves but for everyone else.  And many of these men have been involved in the Metro Jackson SS for almost as long as I have.  

What's wonderful about our Metro Jackson Samson Society community is that there five groups to choose from (not to mention the SS virtual groups)!  Therefore, please remember that sometimes change is for the better (for everyone involved).

Dying With Precision

Penthouse magazines stashed under my uncle's bed.  That was my first foray into pornographic imagery.  I was in upper elementary school at the time.  Staying at my uncle and aunt's apartment in West Jackson for the evening (w/ my cousin), the time it took for my cousin and I took leaf through these was enough for me to understand in detail who my uncle actually was.

He was my dad's oldest brother, named after my late grandfather.  And this meant he and I were family, connected together by genetics, predispositions and setting.  No questions asked.

Now, I did not admire my uncle for owning Penthouse magazines, especially considering the fact that he was a married man, but I did now clearly understand this man's delight in lust.  For I too delighted in tickling / baiting that part of my brain, especially considering its adolescent emergence at the time.

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Many men delight in lust, and therefore choose to identify as such.  

My uncle likely visited strip clubs in order to also partake of those opportunities at that level.  He may even have employed a prostitute on occasion.  

In contrast to my own father, he was unabashed about indulging in narcissistic, fleshly behaviors of all kinds.

And this, no doubt, cost him physically and spiritually.  

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Work is drudgery.  No matter how you slice it, working to earn money requires persistence and a boatload of mundane time invested.  For many of us, computers make our lives at work much easier, but also provide for opportunities to look away from our vocational proceedings (for better or for worse).

At my office, this has been ongoing (for far longer than I really care to admit), via one PC in particular, for some time now.  

And of course, the time I spend there (at that PC) is done in such a manner as to tickle that aforementioned portion (lust) of my brain, no thanks to the www, even if for a few minutes a day.

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My uncle died right before Christmas.  He was eating alone at a local Madison restaurant when he had a massive heart attack.  From there, he was transported by ambulance to St. Dominic's hospital where he was pronounced dead.  We buried him the Saturday after Christmas in Belzoni, MS.

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Will this portion of me myself die with him?

I'm banking on it.

Good riddance.

I do not wish to honor / keep that memory of him alive.  Let it die with him.

Metro Jackson Samson Society - Annual Bonfire tomorrow night (12/30/20) at 6:00 PM - Rural Hinds county

Location:  5550 Williamson Road Clinton, MS 39056.  This is a gravel road (not a house) go through double gate and go left follow road to turn around. Bring Camp chair please.  If you get lost call me at 601-946-1290; Lance 601-862-8308; Tu 601-540-2429.

 

We are serving Chili (Chef Andrew) I will need a head count – text me or reply to email (dwaller@fbcj.org) that you are coming by tonight (12/29/20) please.  We also need waters, cheese, soul cream, bowls and spoons, looking for volunteers to bring items.

 

December 2020 Samson Society "No Bull Briefing" Newsletter

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING  December 2020

Franklin, TN Merry Christmas! 'Tis the Season ... Matching Gift Update As of this NBB we have raised $22,993 (128 contributions) toward the $50,000 Matching Grant. A special thank you to all that have participated in this campaign; almost half of the contributions are recurring monthly moving forward! Now, with 10,000 men in Samson Society, let's see if we can reach our goal of matching the $50,000 by year-end! Click HERE to join the campaign and help us reach the Match. Available NOW: "On My Worst Day: The Narrative Changes When Redemption Enters In"                   by John Lynch John Lynch was the featured speaker at our 2020 Virtual Retreat and, no doubt, everyone who attended will be ordering this new offering from John. The tapes we play in our heads are often deceptive, but all that can change when we start playing the new tapes of redemption. Order now on AmazonSmile. You can watch John's retreat talks on our Patreon page HERE. Share Your Story An integral part of any Samson Society meeting is the sharing time. The first few times are usually heart-pounding, sweaty-palm moments, but in time we learn it is liberating. We're collecting stories of how Samson Society has helped men in their recovery, marriage, family, job, etc. If you'd be open to sharing your recovery story to encourage the broader Samson community (first name and last initial attribution only) CLICK HERE. "Porn Drives Demand" Part 3 by Roger C. Dietrich was born into a large family in Breslau Germany.  The year was 1906 and young Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the son of a psychiatrist father and a schoolteacher mother would have seven siblings.  Later in life, he, along with his brother and two brothers-in-law would be executed by the Nazis during World War 2.  But before that end, Dietrich completed a Doctor of Theology degree when he was only 21.  He rose to prominence as a paster-theologian during the 1930s, as the Nazi Party was also rising in power.  His strong faith, exposure to the social injustices in American black culture, and the church’s ineptitude to address them gave rise to his evolvement as a leading voice against Nazism.  One of the Nazi’s first actions after they assumed control was to seize sectors that shaped public opinions – the arts, cinema, and radio.  They removed anything they did not see as supportive of a new vision and favored arts that reinforced the narratives they wanted the German people to think and feel.  They made laws that oppressed what they deemed racially inferior people and created death camps to systematically eliminate them.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer openly opposed the Nazis, led an underground seminary, and joined a resistance effort to remove Hitler by planting a bomb at his hideout.  He argued that Christians should not retreat from the world, but act in it.  He was sent to Flossenburg concentration camp and hung two weeks before US troops liberated the camp.  He was 39.  (continue reading) Don't forget to visit our Patreon site to watch past retreat speakers and workshops. We will continue to build out the site with more and more resources. NOTE re: Donations By Check Beginning January 1, 2021, Samson House will no longer process contributions by physical check at our Franklin, TN location. ALL contribution processing will be done by our contribution processor, New Horizons. Not only is this an effective outsourcing of a critical administrative task, but it also streamlines our 501-C-3 accounting to the IRS. You can donate HERE from now on.

Reruns 'till '21

The month of December is my busiest at work and on the home front.  That fact, plus my being slated to take yet another securities exam on (12/31), is why I'm sending our blog out to pasture 'till 2021.  

I believe I've posted far more this year than last, therefore if you simply can't wait for my freshly minted posts to return in January, there's always re-reads...

Be encouraged men to continue following The Path.  Even throughout the holidays.

Respecting & Dialoguing With The Visual Contrarian (Pervert)

One of the most pivotal (conscious & subconscious) moments in my life was during a counseling session with Mr. Don Waller (facilitator of the FBCJ Wednesday night SS meeting), and it was during this particular session that I'd invited my father to come along.  My dad was kind enough to do this on occasion, probably out of pity more than anything else.  Keep in mind these counseling sessions were back in 2014, therefore I'd only been working for him for +/-12 months.  

During this session, I felt compelled to put a photo (via my smartphone) on display primarily for my dad to see.  This photo was of a man who represented my masculine archetype.  As such, the image was of a professional underwear model doing his absolute best to look hot.  And the photo was spectacular.  It was one I'd harvested online from the Aussie Bum URL.  Whilst being very upfront as to what I was attracted to, I reminded my father that it was the pursuit of this kind of imagery that resulted in my 2013 job loss.  But my primary focus was to "level myself up" relative to Robert, Senior by finally saying "to hell" with all this beating around the bush.

My dad recoiled in disgust for the few seconds I held my pocket computer up to his face.  And I sort of enjoyed observing the impact all of this exhibitionist (dare I say bold?) behavior was provoking.

Nonetheless, I smiled broadly.  It simply felt so freeing to own up to who I really was right there one on one (almost) and subsequently make that connection back to Robert, Sr. as his only son.

I don't remember what exactly prompted me to do this during the course of the counseling session, but I do know the setting really bolstered my confidence.  Thank you always, Mr. Don Waller.

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My first Silas, pre-Samson Society, agreed to sit down with me one evening in front of a laptop.  During this endeavor, we took some time for him to reveal to me what he was drawn to similarly (as to what I described above).  This was AWKWARD and frightening, but well worth it from the standpoint of demystifying his particular hook (for him) whilst also garnering further trust between the two of us.

I can only speak for myself within these blog posts.  I say that as a reminder.  Therefore, your experience / narrative related to visual imagery may be light years different than my own.  I suppose that's my disclaimer relative to this post.

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The first man I served as a Silas towards within Samson Society had been a minister prior to being ushered into the group.  This man's family was devout all around, and this was a wonderful attribute.  His father in-law, in particular, was an every opportunity proselytizer, to the point of carrying around Holy Bibles within his backpack.  This middle-aged man could not sympathize / empathize with his son in-law on any level regarding his sexual hard wiring, and he took this approach as if he himself were a eunuch.  

But I've always wondered if, man to man, he simply wasn't interested in lowering himself to the younger man's level in order to tap into their shared gender as well as the father in-law's past adolescent narrative (growing up years).  Unless maybe he really was a eunuch.

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Pride is often fueled by the love we have for looking down on our fellow man - especially those who're perceived differently (slightly or massively) than we are - and the most efficient means to elevate ourselves is to shun (either directly or indirectly), gossip, etc.

Choosing instead to forgo shunning, etc. - of any ilk - takes supernatural gusto, but with the Holy Spirit's help, we can certainly rise above our denigrating defaults.  

And that's where respect comes in.  That altogether most cherished gift that men desire.  

If you're looking to build a bridge between yourself and another male, garner him the gift of respect.  It is ambrosia of the highest order.  A recipe for seeing where others aren't allowed.  

In closing, most men desire to be known by those around them whom they've entrusted a bit of their heart to.  Attempting to understand another man in regards to their sexuality is well worth the risk.

   

As Men, The First Time We Opt To Attend A Samson Society Meeting Can, At Times, Feel Quite Overwhelming (Not Unlike A Thrill Ride). And Those Ladies Back Home Will Be All The Better For It.