One of the most pivotal (conscious & subconscious) moments in my life was during a counseling session with Mr. Don Waller (facilitator of the FBCJ Wednesday night SS meeting), and it was during this particular session that I'd invited my father to come along. My dad was kind enough to do this on occasion, probably out of pity more than anything else. Keep in mind these counseling sessions were back in 2014, therefore I'd only been working for him for +/-12 months.
During this session, I felt compelled to put a photo (via my smartphone) on display primarily for my dad to see. This photo was of a man who represented my masculine archetype. As such, the image was of a professional underwear model doing his absolute best to look hot. And the photo was spectacular. It was one I'd harvested online from the Aussie Bum URL. Whilst being very upfront as to what I was attracted to, I reminded my father that it was the pursuit of this kind of imagery that resulted in my 2013 job loss. But my primary focus was to "level myself up" relative to Robert, Senior by finally saying "to hell" with all this beating around the bush.
My dad recoiled in disgust for the few seconds I held my pocket computer up to his face. And I sort of enjoyed observing the impact all of this exhibitionist (dare I say bold?) behavior was provoking.
Nonetheless, I smiled broadly. It simply felt so freeing to own up to who I really was right there one on one (almost) and subsequently make that connection back to Robert, Sr. as his only son.
I don't remember what exactly prompted me to do this during the course of the counseling session, but I do know the setting really bolstered my confidence. Thank you always, Mr. Don Waller.
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My first Silas, pre-Samson Society, agreed to sit down with me one evening in front of a laptop. During this endeavor, we took some time for him to reveal to me what he was drawn to similarly (as to what I described above). This was AWKWARD and frightening, but well worth it from the standpoint of demystifying his particular hook (for him) whilst also garnering further trust between the two of us.
I can only speak for myself within these blog posts. I say that as a reminder. Therefore, your experience / narrative related to visual imagery may be light years different than my own. I suppose that's my disclaimer relative to this post.
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The first man I served as a Silas towards within Samson Society had been a minister prior to being ushered into the group. This man's family was devout all around, and this was a wonderful attribute. His father in-law, in particular, was an every opportunity proselytizer, to the point of carrying around Holy Bibles within his backpack. This middle-aged man could not sympathize / empathize with his son in-law on any level regarding his sexual hard wiring, and he took this approach as if he himself were a eunuch.
But I've always wondered if, man to man, he simply wasn't interested in lowering himself to the younger man's level in order to tap into their shared gender as well as the father in-law's past adolescent narrative (growing up years). Unless maybe he really was a eunuch.
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Pride is often fueled by the love we have for looking down on our fellow man - especially those who're perceived differently (slightly or massively) than we are - and the most efficient means to elevate ourselves is to shun (either directly or indirectly), gossip, etc.
Choosing instead to forgo shunning, etc. - of any ilk - takes supernatural gusto, but with the Holy Spirit's help, we can certainly rise above our denigrating defaults.
And that's where respect comes in. That altogether most cherished gift that men desire.
If you're looking to build a bridge between yourself and another male, garner him the gift of respect. It is ambrosia of the highest order. A recipe for seeing where others aren't allowed.
In closing, most men desire to be known by those around them whom they've entrusted a bit of their heart to. Attempting to understand another man in regards to their sexuality is well worth the risk.
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