Husband Material?

This past weekend, Angie and I were working out at our local, crappy YMCA, and within minutes of us moseying in, a middle-aged guy introduced himself to me, all smiley and exuberant-like.  Because strength training (if it's done correctly) involves physical pain, it's unusual to encounter folks therein who're in such high spirits.

This energized exerciser recognized me, but not my bride, yet he couldn't quite put his finger on how he knew me (I came to find this out later).  From there, he actually encouraged me to chat with him during my workout routine, but alas, he soon discovered that he'd picked the wrong gym guy for that.  

An hour or so passed, and from there, Angie brought me up to speed regarding this dude.  For he'd eventually introduced himself to her too, and she immediately recognized him as one of our neighbors.  One of our recently married neighbors.  Who'd just happened to betroth another man.  

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Back in late December of '22, I reached out to a Samson dude (via Slack) who'd been in a breakout room with me during a virtual Samson Society meeting.  My follow-up request was to hear his story, and in order to instill some trust, I decided to divulge mine first (along with a link to this blog).  I was grateful that this allowed me to gain his trust.  He quickly followed suit, and within a few weeks, we were off and running with our friendship (rarely, if ever, did we see each other within virtual Samson meetings on down the road).

For the next six months, he and chatted consistently once a week.  And when I say chatted, these were thoughtful exchanges with absolutely zero frivolities.  This guy's voice is one that's overall, truly a pleasure to listen to.  And that's a result of standalone speaking skill, region of the country he was reared within (dialect) and - most importantly - intelligence.  

And when I say intelligence, I'm referring to strong intelligence.  

Yet, his persona is demure.  Almost to the point of being bashful.  Nonetheless, there's a whole lot about him that I am absolutely drawn to.  At least taking into consideration the portion of this Samson brother that I know, constraints notwithstanding.

This man was at the '22 National Samson Retreat, but I didn't know him then.  Nor did I have the opportunity to meet him.

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22-23 years ago, I was already on the hunt for "group therapy / help" in whatever form I could find it locally.  Back then, my primary issue was loneliness stemming from the shame / confusion surrounding my homosexual desires.  This loneliness, I feared, might eventually drive me to cheat on my newish wife (Angie).  Hence, I somehow caught wind of a local Methodist Church that had a "group" for "guys like me" (whatever that meant), and I attended after speaking over the telephone with one the church pastors who reflexively referred me to one of its regular attendees.

The group was a "Sex Addicts Anonymous" gathering, and every man that regularly attended (the same few meetings I attended) thoroughly creeped me out.  Some of the things they shared during those hour-long meetings were so far beyond my comprehension relative to my mundane existence that I felt as if I literally had landed on another planet.  It didn't help matters that most of these men weren't at all close to my age.

But the original guy (who was just a few years older than I) who'd been my initial SA point-of-contact had been super friendly and accommodating.  And he too experienced strong homosexual tendencies (& had been reared in MS).  Therefore, we made a point to meet outside of the SA troupe in order to fill each other in on our individual stories.  

It was obvious from the beginning of our friendship that this man was entertaining the idea of somehow moving our relationship from the platonic to the romantic.  And it wasn't necessarily due to any overt attraction to Rob.  Instead, I believe he was solely looking to conveniently "scratch an itch".  But I was married and couldn't relate to his itch.  As a result of this, I began to slowly back pedal.  

What made the most distinct impression on me regarding this experience was how out of place I felt at the end of the day.  

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Yesterday morning, I received a call from my demure, highly intelligent Samson brother confirming his intention to attend next weekend's '23 National Samson Society retreat.  In spite of his low-key demeanor, I could tell he was excited to be relaying this to me whilst confirming (yet again) my intentions to also attend.

I'll be honest with you, dear reader, I'm just as excited to finally meet him.  

But mostly, I simply want to be present for him.  For this will be my sixth National SS retreat.  For me, they're routine.  For him, not so much, since it's only his second.  

In closing, I'm hopeful this physical coming together will serve our friendship well relative to confirming our mutual trust in each other.  For trust between men is a true gift.  Plus, this dude's just so freaking cool headed.  What fun it will be to see if he'll actually let his guard down as he so readily did when we were telephoning regularly.