I believe the "Attachment Theory" holds a lot of merit for guys in active recovery, but when parents of small children attempt to reverse engineer it, we've found that they tend to overthink / way overreach it. From there, they may very well do more harm to their children (& marriage / family) than good.
For example, let's say you didn't / weren't allowed to properly attach (emotionally) to a parent(s) as a small child. Hence, this, no doubt, will impact your emotional health as an adult / (potential parent). From there, let's say you marry and choose to have children of your own. And you're privy to the "attachment theory", having studied it extensively. Therefore, you choose to overcompensate (hyper-attach?) whilst rearing your own child(ren) as a result.
We've seen parents do this by giving their children free reign. Very few constraints. Very few boundaries. And this can result in children becoming elevated / entitled pretty quickly. To the point that they're the ones ruling the roost.
It's a weird scenario, and I'm convinced most children who're within the throes of it do realize that it is back-assward (relative to their peers).
For as you know, children are brilliant. Somewhat powerless, for sure, but certainly brilliant.
My advice to you, Samson brother, is to ONLY delve into this theoretical work from the standpoint of understanding your adult self (who's in active recovery). From there, I would argue that your recovering / recovered self (as a parent) will do a far better job rearing your own children by default (on autopilot). In essence, trust your recovering self to not make the same mistake(s) as Mom and Dad did.
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