One of my favorite Samson guys (who's also a dear friend) lost a well-paying, reputable government job here (in Jackson) - a few years back - by inadvertently sending a text message to the wrong person (outside of the immediate organization). Information within the message's content was unfortunately confidential outside of his workplace, therefore he had to be let go. It was a formality, and as such, he then moved to a position within the private sector within +/-30 days of getting fired.
This Samson guy's emotional reaction to this unfortunate series of events was quite even keeled and steady. After owning up to his mistake, he quickly went forth and found alternative employment here in town (within the same vocation). And thanks to his skillset and reputation, that made for a not so difficult task.
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Much of his emotional steadiness relative to his termination, I believe, was attributed to two things.
One, his job was not where his entire identity (if any) lied.
Two, the procedural details that went down relative to his termination (by his supervisors) were handled with grace and respect towards this friend of mine.
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This Samson guy that I've mentioned here grew up in Jackson. This place, for him, is home. I believe that bit of info had a lot to do with item number one due to the fact that there's comfort in living and working within your hometown. There's a lifelong narrative there, and that narrative can provide the foundation for a man's true identity. Therefore, him losing his job was analogous to his house being blown off its foundation via a terrible storm, but the foundation / property in which the foundation resided on being left untouched. From there, the task of rebuilding (finding new employment) was certainly unforeseen but not overwhelming to conceive.
And then regarding item two, he perhaps was also helped by this hometown narrative since growing up / living in Jackson is not unlike being reared in a really big small town. (I'm speculating here. He may have simply had a really thoughtful, kind supervisor). As such, homies tend to be treated with more respect than outsiders by default.
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My oldest friend, Bartholomew Pendergrast (I wish that were his real name!), went to MSU with me, tracking alongside within the Architorture School 'till we both graduated in 1995. +/-18 months ago, he moved his family to Alabama to take his fifth appointment (position) within yet another beloved architecture job. And man, does he ever love / have great respect for the profession of architecture. It really is of critical importance to him (much moreso than it ever was to me).
It's important to note that Bartholomew, up until +/-18 months ago, had only worked / lived in Mississippi (either central or southern), and that he too is 48 years of age.
This past Friday, the majority shareholder of the firm where he now works in Alabama ushered him into his office for a Q & A session relative to a sexual harassment complaint (from a female colleague) that had been filed against him earlier that week.
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When I lost my Director of Planning & Administration (campus architect) job from Delta State University back in September of '13 (due to me breaking their IT policy), I lost my entire identity, and I cannot emphasize that enough. I had no friends - either younger, same or elder aged (pastor or otherwise) - at the time, nor was my relationship with my parents (back home) anywhere near where I hoped it might be (by age 40). My wife was terrified of what the future might hold (because I was and because she was also jobless at the time) and my daughters were too little to care in the least. Whilst looking back, it felt as if our entire family had been thrown off a proverbial cliff.
And where we were residing - Cleveland, MS - was not unlike living in an entirely different country because it was so isolated from anywhere else yet relationally conflicted (for the same reason). Regarding the latter, it was as if the town considered itself to be larger and more sophisticated than it really was, yet no amount of good press or signature projects could change reality. There were only so many jobs of a certain ilk to go around within that small Delta town setting, the impoverished / marginalized were ever present, etc.
Immediately following my job loss, I began rapidly losing weight 'till eventually I was 14 pounds lighter than before (within just a few weeks). This was due to me losing my appetite, therefore I ate fewer and fewer calories during the days I hunkered down within the four walls of our rental. This was seemingly reinforced by my insomnia which kept me from sleeping more than 4 - 5 hours a night.
I could go into further detail regarding just how bad things became for me, but I won't bore you. Know this though, it was as if people I trusted / respected completely (my superiors at Delta State) took my heart and submerged it into a vat of acid. And they did so whilst not at all taking into consideration the efforts we'd put forth in relocating there a year prior nor how the execution of said termination might impact me emotionally long-term.
So what came of this trauma that points back to the title of this post, and was God's ultimate good work being orchestrated throughout?
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I never again seeded any portion of my identity in my career. In fact, I was very intentional in repositioning myself within a vocation (Turner Insurance & Financial Services) that would merely suffice versus one that would exult.
Why?
The recognition of my vulnerability as it related to seeding any portion of my identity within my vocation. As such, I had to find some form of work that failing at wouldn't really make much of an impression. And this is why I continue to work for my parents at TIFS today, which is no doubt exactly where God wants me to be.
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One of the primary descriptors of me myself is my inability to see / take stock in Rob. Perhaps I truly am some form of a vampire (reflection-less) in this regard. Therefore, I have a difficult time believing what others say about me because I have such a difficult, if not impossible time, corroborating it internally. In line with this peculiarity, I'm motivated to put my faith in God to lead, trusting him with the compass relative to most every aspect of my life.
The Bible talks about God's only real interest being in man's heart and whether it is tuned 100% towards him. It speaks thunderously about God's jealousy of our love and attention and his hatred towards idols that we may choose to worship instead of / alongside him.
It's impossible to not idolize other people, friendships, vocation, material wealth, and on and on. Our fallen humanity constantly defaults to this sin.
But, it's much easier to idolize other items (like these listed above) if you cannot see you yourself at all or with any real accuracy. You might say there's a predisposition there or a tendency for us vampires to fall into this trap.
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My old college friend, Bartholomew, is just like me in this regard. Blind to his worth. Blind to who he really is. It's what binds us together as friends and always has. Call it our unspoken pact.
Therefore, if he loses this Alabama architecture job, he will suffer tremendous emotional fallout as I did when I lost my job there in small town Cleveland all those years ago.
If he survives that fallout, my hope is that he'll follow my lead, and position himself - in the future - within a place where he's no longer susceptible to losing "everything" overnight. But, I'm not so sure he'd be willing to make that much of a decisive change for himself. Seeing your income change, losing the baked-in respect that comes with a tenured vocation, all of these things are so very hard to let go of. But especially for vampires.
If he'll do this, his faith will grow, and his love for himself will soon follow. For besides God, there should be no one who cares more for us than us. And that is the hardest lesson I've had to learn in life.
We learn so much about ourselves and in particular, our own weaknesses, through our wrestlings with intense bouts of debilitating pain.
In closing, our western culture wholeheartedly embraces the monumental amount of emphasis (& importance) that can come from the notoriety that's seemingly baked into certain careers and career paths. My advice to you is not to be fooled by that. It's an especially dangerous setup whilst finding yourself personally isolated.
Our culture is the worst barometer of all to live one's life by. And this is because it's orchestrated by the Devil.
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