OnlyFans, COVID-19 pandemic have spurred a new sexual revolution (nypost.com)
Over the past few days, I was reactively labeled a "Holy Roller". The text message decreeing this label actually auto-corrected it firstly to "Hot Roller" which I personally like equally as well.
A "Holy Roller", I believe, is a label I'll blithely embrace now that I've been provided the opportunity. Thank you very much.
Here's a definition I found on Urban Dictionary: "A person that is heavily relgious [sic], listens to contemporary christian music, and has a "holier then thou" attitude."
I believe that last part really nails it. Don't you think?
-------------------------
My junior year at Mississippi State saw me embracing yet another two semesters of living within Evans Hall, a 4 - 6 story CMU (concrete masonry unit) -walled building whose sole architectural inspiration had no doubt been communist bloc housing. As such, this was too another year of coming together with a pot luck roommate.
Steve was a good bit older than I, a veteran, and very, very bitter towards "Holy Rollers" (of which I was one). As a side note, the only logic I could deduce relative to me being paired up with him was the fact that he too was from the Metro Jackson area.
What I observed over the course of those two semesters with Steve back in '93 - '94 was how my "Holy Roller" presence literally made him miserable - simply by default. For I wasn't scorned and bitter towards God nor the church, and my overall attitude wasn't one of "justified callousness" towards most everything and everyone around me. Instead, I was hopeful and at peace. Deeply convicted and as such, very faithful (despite my inner demons). And this positively propelled me through my coursework within Architorture school. Without it, I'd never have made it through.
--------------------------
Steve had a porn magazine stash that he'd use when I was out of our room (which was more often than not). I vividly remember stumbling across this stack of magazines, most of which consisted of periodicals he'd acquired whilst serving in the Navy overseas. I also recall well how Steve was a perpetually light sleeper, therefore most every night after turning in, I'd dare not attempt to pleasure myself. Instead, I'd lie there frozen in the dark, waiting patiently for his breathing to regulate, signaling an all clear for me to comfortably fall asleep.
It was kind of like living with someone who was always on edge. Never at peace. Always looking for something or someone else to blame. Blame. Blame.
That was it. That sums it up. Steve was the consummate blamer, and as such, within my mind, a perpetual loser.
It was a tough, tough experience to live with this older guy for those 9 months - day in and day out, but my God's grace, I made it through.
And by the way, Steve grew up in the same church (FBC) I did here in Jackson. His half-sister was younger than he was, and she and I had - at one time - been friends.
-------------------------
But what this living arrangement did for me - throughout the two semesters - was priceless.
It mustered in me the drive to never cave as Steve had. To never embrace an attitude of worthlessness despite my own - very private - internal struggle with worthlessness. There's a big difference there.
For what I saw saddened me, though I no doubt understood how convenient it was for Steve, relative to synchronizing his no holds barred approach to embracing our culture's wholehearted slide into the abyss of perpetual filthiness, with how he felt about his own self - on the inside.
No comments:
Post a Comment