The only way I know how to answer that question is to consider what men crave: Respect.
Taking that into account, should you provide respect to men who're actively participating in homosexual sin? What if their expectations for respect are not the same as those for straight men, does that - in and of itself - disqualify them from manhood? Conversely, how do men with homosexual desires best lend respect to other men (no matter the orientation), and if they choose not to abide by "traditional" rules, does that disqualify they themselves similarly despite their not actively participating in homosexual sin?
Well, let's break down the actual act of paying / providing respect to someone - from a "traditional" standpoint.
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Think about attending a wake / funeral. This is an act of paying respect despite the fact that it's an end of life exercise that arguably doesn't require but an hour or so of your time / attention. Yet, you're definitely involving yourself quietly within this individual's Earthly existence.
And that involvement really is pretty profound, if you consider it for a few moments. Why?
Attending a funeral isn't a private affair. If you do it right, you're engaging with the family prior or post attending some form of a service. And by doing this, you're acknowledging that person's story, their representation of humanity, as they saw fit to play it out, throughout the course of their life. I would argue this to be one of the highest forms of showing / paying respect, but too, it likely serves as a microcosm relative to respectful days past. Arguably, a man's zenith relative to garnering respect may very well culminate at his end of days.
Somewhat in opposition to that, what does the Bible present to us relative to men who're actively involved in homosexual sin? Specifically, how does God react to it?
Oh, it's bad. You know that. It's really, really bad.
There are two instances Biblically where terrible repercussions are dealt out to entire municipalities due to the torrid ubiquity of homosexual sin.
Too, the Bible speaks of men who're "turned over to" their homosexual desires. This implies that God releases them from their God-given natural tendencies (orientation) completely, and from there, there's no turning back.
Whilst circling back to the notion of funerals, often homosexual sin promulgates sexually transmitted diseases. These infectious diseases do shorten life either directly or by making a man's body indirectly more vulnerable to other issues down the road.
One area of the church that you rarely, if ever, hear anything about is its active involvement in supporting HIV / AIDS patients / ministries that do so And this is either during their diagnoses of the virus infection or at the end stage when the virus has mutated into Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. The flashpoint here is that HIV is primarily a virus infection that men who're actively involved in homosexual sin (sodomy) are physically susceptible to. There's no arguing against the fact that the Bible doesn't shy away from clearly modeling the mandate (Jesus teaching & modeling for us) of caring for the sick, yet the church is often staunchly unsupportive of putting any of its resources towards ministerial opportunities that even remotely condones sinful behavior. And I believe this is an awesomely helpful litmus test for us as individuals.
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There are eleven houses on our cul-de-sac, one of which has been mortgaged thrice (over the past 20+ years of its existence). The current mortgagee is a middle-aged bachelor who discreetly moved out many months ago to live with his girlfriend. The girlfriend's abode must not be too far away because our neighbor regularly drives through to check his mail and take a gander at his empty house, and about every two weeks, he'll use a portion of his Sunday to maintain the landscaping prior to returning to his home away from home.
This particular house was occupied when we mortgaged our home back in late 2000. It was one of two others that were built at the time Angie and I came "on the scene". And as such, the home has had zero renovation work done to it since its initial occupancy two decades ago. Perhaps this status quo might persists for a few years longer, but eventually, costly renovation work will need to be done (especially if the home is ever listed "For Sale").
Weirdly enough, (& I won't go into too many details here) my parents have the same exact situation going on with one of their bachelor neighbors (within their suburban 'hood), though that house is considerably larger and the bachelor considerably older.
This is a setup that feels exceedingly juvenile to me. Especially from the standpoint of leaving all ten of us neighbors in the dark as to why the house is now empty. Therefore, I can't comprehend why this mid-50s year old man would behave this way.
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Now, let's talk about my favorite topic. Sex.
Sex can be mighty important to some men from the standpoint of bringing about copious amounts of respect (perceived or otherwise). I recall vividly my potluck roommate during my sophomore year at MSU wooing women into our dorm room in order to receive AM fellatio in between classes. How disconcerting it was to attempt to unlock our dorm room door after my first class only to have it immediately slammed in my face in response to my unexpected arrival "home".
Man, those were some good collegiate memories indeed!
But again, this is juvenile behavior. We're focuses on men within this post. Not horny boys. But, maybe the answers to some of these questions I've posed simply is a question of true manhood versus boyhood.
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I spent at least six months being counseled by Dr. Joseph Nicolosi back in 1995. The sessions were executed via landline telephone, but nevertheless, they were so helpful to me at the time. Dr. Nicolosi spent a lot of time corroborating my understanding of how my early childhood days (in particular) had set the stage for me to develop homosexual desires. He also hastened to tell me that there was at least a 50% chance that these homosexual desires would never go away - no matter if I remained single or married (obviously female at the time) the love of my life.
We also talked an awful lot about homosexual desires being greatly undermined / placated / diminished by one working diligently to "advance" into the "world of men". And what he meant by that was behaving like a man, even within areas of my life that (within that vein) I was exceedingly naïve and cautious / hesitant / uncomfortable towards.
As I thought more and more about this, I realized that I was not a whole lot different than every other guy out there (I was in my early 20s at the time). No doubt, advancing into the "world of men" can be a frightening thought for a lot of guys, and I just happened to be one of those who'd hyper-sexualized countless other men in reaction to that fear.
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So, here the questions I posed again: ...should you provide respect to men who're actively participating in homosexual sin? What if their expectations for respect are not the same as those for straight men, does that - in and of itself - disqualify them from manhood?
No, you shouldn't. They're behaving like boys and as such, as boys often do, they're only thinking of their own desires / wants (in regards to their homosexual desires) versus the health / welfare of those around him. A healthy, God-breathed relationship between men should never contain a sexual component(s). Of course, that statement runs counter to everything our culture embraces here in 2021 as it pertains to admitting to and managing homosexual desires.
Conversely, how do men with homosexual desires best lend respect to other men (no matter the orientation), and if they choose not to abide by "traditional" rules, does that disqualify they themselves similarly despite their not actively participating in homosexual sin?
The key to this question are the words "other men" (no matter the orientation). This implies that the guy with homosexual desires is a (behaving like a) man (respect) as well, therefore that truth dictates his motive / intentions behind how his respecting will / should always be played out.
Men who have the chutzpah to fess up to their homosexual desires are to be commended for their bravery in doing so. From there, the next question for him is - what are you doing / going to do to maximize this opportunity to daily relinquish this particular thorn to Christ in anticipation of seeing him use it to his glory? Also, considering pragmatics, where's your support? It's a two-way street.
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