I worked at Chick-Fil-A in NorthPark Mall in high school. I applied as a 15 year old, soon after acquiring my driver's license. There were two black women, both much older than me, that had worked there for some time and everyone else was like I was, a white high school / community college student. Each of these older women typically opened the restaurant in the mornings with one other employee (for a total of three). At this time, breakfast at the Chick wasn't nearly as popular as it is today, therefore it didn't take too large of a crew to serve those ubiquitous, greasy chicken biscuits.
Keep in mind that the year was 1988.
I'd never been around blacks at all up to this point in time. My 'rents paid for me to attend a local private academy, therefore there were none there, and we lived in the suburbs far from the blacks who lived in the city of Jackson. Therefore, I have to admit that they definitely intimidated me out of disassociation despite the fact that they were very friendly.
One disclaimer here. My 'rents weren't racist. Never did I hear derogatory comments about blacks, Hispanics, Asians, etc. for which I'm very thankful, but they had lived through integration. Thusly, they were pulled out of the public schools within the Mississippi Delta as upper elementary students and relocated to the private academies that sprung up overnight as a result of the DOJ rulings.
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As Chick-Fil-A is today, the restaurant was closed on Sunday, but I can remember on one occasion having to report to the Chick for some formal training (w/ the entire crew) on the sabbath. We each sat within the dining room for this training which consisted of the Operator passing around a freshly unboxed 3-ring binder in order for each of us to take a turn reading instructions on how to grill chicken filets (versus fry). What surprised and saddened me was what happened when the binder made its way to these older black females (who I'd come to respect a great deal and befriend). My heart sank due to the awkwardness as they stumbled through their few paragraphs that had been queued up for them to orate. And I literally mean stumble. From what I recall, neither of them had a reading aptitude that was anything above a second or third grade level. It was shocking to me as a then 16 year old white kid.
Oh, how I wished these ladies hadn't been exposed like this! What could be done to leverage this situation in their favor?
Nothing. What was done was done.
Needless to say, the restaurant Operator never put us through that exercise again. From that point forward, all training was executed via watching VHS videos, and usually during our breaks. And this was the right thing to do in order to not single anyone out.
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A sizeable portion of who we are as human beings and how we live out our lives has to do with attitude. Attitude is essentially perspective, whether it be first or third person (or some combination of the two). If it's first person, you're like me and have such a difficult time not seeing oneself as the center of the universe, experiencing life - mostly - with zero frame of reference. On the other hand, if it's third person, there's always a point of reference (your true, unadulterated self) to consider, which I believe, can result in life lived far from the vacuum of existing solely within one's head.
Samson Society has introduced me intimately to more men than I ever dreamed I'd have the privilege to know intimately as a late 40 year old white guy. Now, I'll admit that in terms of racial diversity there's been much less available than I'd like, but relative to story, backgrounds, demographics...it's been quite rich.
I recall the very first meeting I attended in Jackson back in 2014, hearing stories that in so many ways mimicked my own, but easily within the first 6 months of my tenure within that group, I witnessed the distinct details of who each man was. Most of which in no way cross pollinated with my own, and some of which were dramatically different overall.
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Rarely, if ever, do circumstances lend themselves for men to celebrate - literally - their weaknesses, failings, flaws. And why should there be? What good is this to any man?
The good that comes from it is the reorienting of one's perspective - from first to third. But this takes quite some time to accomplish. I've literally been involved in Samson Society for 5.5 years and only now am I beginning to see my own perspective change. That's much longer than I'd like to admit to, but it's the truth.
Our culture / world celebrates arrogance and pride, and this is built on a first person (privileged) view. This perspective sees life sans one's own self (story), and it is constantly biased towards being either highly critical / complaining or aloof and insular due to the fact that you're rarely if ever taking / utilizing your story as a point of reference. This is the perspective we're born with, which typically reaches its natural peak during adolescence as children experience all the inevitable growing pains that come with that season of their lives.
So again, I ask the same question. What good is this to any man?
For me, it's served as a proving ground to make peace with my own self, and in doing so, given me courage to look my own life in the eye and no longer be ashamed whatsoever. That's privilege, and it's one of the greatest gifts Samson Society has provided me.
How did this come about exactly?
By finding comfort and support from within a community of men, some of which I've befriended deeply and yet today have little to no consistent contact with. The comfort piece, for me, has been learning to see myself within this community as a true brother AND NOT as an anomaly. The biggest boost to me in this regard has been involving myself within the Samson community outside of Mississippi which has allowed me to meet men from around the country. And, of course, that's made possible by being involved in the annual retreat and from there, continuing to communicate with these men after the fact. That in itself has expanded my horizons, validated, and excited me more as I've sought to drop the "d" from privilege, and subsequently change my perspective / attitude from first to third.
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