- My car needs new brake pads and rotors. They're so degraded that I can no longer safely drive the vehicle, therefore it's parked 'till I can have the maintenance work accomplished at some point in January.
- Our van had major HVAC repair work executed a few months ago, and now it's broken once more. The system is behaving just as erratically as it did prior.
- Due to us now only having two (drivable) automobiles to transport our family of 5 around in, we chose to only take one this AM to church. Upon our return, we discovered that dad (me) had only brought the car key itself versus the entire key chain. Hence, there was no way to unlock the door under the garage and get back into the house. From there, we had to telephone my 'rents and coordinate rendezvousing with them to obtain a spare key. My father thought we were idiots for getting ourselves into this situation.
- Last night, I dreamt about an architect that I worked for right out of college. For almost a decade, he was the most respected (by me) professional within my life despite his hands off approach, passivity, and general professional aloofness (towards me and every other man who worked for him). Weirdly, in my dream, he was the complete opposite of the man I remember. Upbeat, genuinely compassionate / supportive and harboring a very positive outlook. I actually felt encouraged once I awoke until I realized just how potentially life changing my professional life would have been had this man been more like the dream architect I experienced.
- A week prior to today, we'd invited friends over to dine with us tonight, having not seen them in some time. As of yesterday, this afternoon's weather was forecasted to be severe, therefore I called our friends, and we rescheduled. Considering the more recent forecast for today (right now), it's diminished in severity considerably, but the rescheduling has already occurred.
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Convenience is a systematic word. It refers to chronology which has its root in logic. Logic is how we as human beings rationalize our worlds.
God is sovereign over our lives as Christians. As adopted sons, he's interested in only one thing: our faithfulness to him exclusively. God measures our faith by peering into our hearts.
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I like being physically strong. The last few years of my architecture schooling at Mississippi State afforded me the opportunity to be colleagues with a brute of a young man who exemplified the term "musclehead" to me (& most everyone else) back there in 1995. This Floridian wasn't arrogant about his build, but nonetheless, you can bet no one gave him any shit either.
Our final fall semester juries were in Starkville at the Architecture building, therefore since our 5th year studio was in Jackson, we had to haul our work back to campus (+/-2 hours away). The design group I was in had focused its attention on working with sheetmetal and concrete, and I'd decided to construct a sizable (4'-0" x 4'-0") cross section of my work. Needless to say, this specimen was very heavy. Unrealistically heavy, now that I think more on it. And had it not been for the strength of my fellow student, it never would have made it back into the architecture school mothership (loaded and unloaded into the back of a UHaul truck). Thanks again Judd!
In order to develop physical strength, one must inconvenience your muscles with resistance. By forcing them to work despite the resistance you apply to them, the muscle tissue develops tiny tears via exertion. These tears, over time, heal, and when they do, the muscle tissue increases in strength (& scale) for future use. Now this sounds all well and good, but it really, really hurts. Plus, if you don't know how to execute proper form, you can injure yourself due to the movements you're making whilst under physical duress.
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If you truly consider the glory of being an adopted son of God, taking into account the transformative work that goes on therein; doing this whilst superimposing your covenant circumstances on both this culture of ours as well as the microculture that you yourself / me were / was reared within, there's good reason to rejoice in God's faithfulness to each of his own.
But...
In a world of unfathomable convenience and customization, we're spoiled. Deceived really, into believing God, just like everything else, should follow our logic. Especially regarding pain (all of which seems unnecessary).
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There's no amount of momentum or reflex needed to ever rekindle or retrofit my faith in God relative to where he's healed me from 6 years ago. And yes, after my firing, it did feel as if I'd been lured into a trap. A trap that crushed my heart and sent me spinning traumatically out of control. Oh, how many times did I ask, "Why is this happening to me?"
I believe I'll always see it as my life's greatest inconvenience that ultimately landed me in a prison of pain. A prison that I wasn't completely released from 'till 18 months into the future.
Therefore, despite my pleas with God during my emotional incarceration for my own children to never suffer (in their futures) as I was then, today I would welcome seeing them experience said rescue as I did (obviously necessitating their own pain prison).
In closing, this is why I attempt to model - as the father - a good attitude despite Murphy's Law within our family. But in all truthfulness, attitude can only hold so much water for me personally. It's ruminating on where I once was that bolsters my faith. What I was feeling - to what extent - and why. That's my jumping off point for measuring the domination of God and his continual restoration of me.
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