I would argue that it's respect. Respect for your own self first and foremost.
Many men (pagan or otherwise) never realize this, and why should they? Instead, they simply pontificate about what it is they're drawn to within salacious photographic material. And this day and age, thanks to the Internet, this can go on ad nauseum (just as the material itself can).
Of course, most boys spend some time consuming salacious material simply due to the newness of it all coupled with hormones. Teenage boys = case in point = normal.
I believe most Christian men simply stop thinking clearly post consumption. The guilt and shame are too much, thoroughly gumming up their synapses. Most have been reared in environments that are such sexuality discourse vacuums that they're unequipped to even begin to handle the Pandora's Box that's been opened by said salacious photographic material. A number of individuals cite this developmental neglect whilst describing their ramping up towards their inevitable addiction. Perhaps. I do know that there's a massive vulnerability there, and it's rooted in simply ill equipped Christian men facing one of the, if not the most culturally amplified identifier there is sans any real knowledge of what they're facing from the standpoint of what it's doing to them and why.
"Are you gay? Straight? A virgin? Have you had sex with her / him?"
"How's your sex life? What are you doing to make yourself more attractive? Do you feel attractive today?"
Sex has become the the lens within our western culture that we've chosen to see humanity through, therefore due to the ubiquity of cultural influence, we find ourselves using it within a similar vein. It's almost impossible not to.
So that's
two issues at stake here, one rooted in emotions fueled by blatant, childlike ignorance and the other fueled by circumstance / setting.
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There is little respect from outside sources this day and age relative to simply being a man, and one could argue this is well deserved due to men's penchant to abuse, neglect, strongarming both women, children, and other men in order to please themselves. But too, due to our present day global "knowledge economy", the specific attributes of being men - physical attributes in particular - do not automatically appoint us to serve as the breadwinner / protector / fighter - this day and age - within our households. Instead, our vocational roles (& therefore familial roles), at least, have become equalized across the board.
Something else to consider. Biblically, men are called to serve (their wives firstly), but most men within our culture cannot identify any part of themselves on any level with scripture. Why is this?
Because the Bible is God's
Word. Written word. In book form.
My how different the world of men would be had God either utilized a Netflix series to relay his plan for his created world or hired a couple of NFL teams to spell it out during a pre-game show!
Two more issues at stake. Men's masculine roles being massively infringed upon / squeezed / diluted coupled with the ignorance of men relative to their cursory understanding of God's expectations for them.
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"
Stave off every sin option!" That's what my friend would say. "
Stop fertilizing that particular row of your mental garden. Cut off that route." You get the picture. And it makes sense, but there's that root problem that's not being addressed. The one that points back to the title of this post. And I hate asking this question because it's so hard to admit to needing to be answered.
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When I was a boy (only child), a good neighborhood friend (also an only child) would have me over to his house much more often than me returning the favor likewise. In looking back, this was because I much more enjoyed time over there than time at my own home (w/ my friend in tow). And this was rooted in what I saw / experienced of his household and how vastly different it was than my own.
My friend's father was, by today's standards, a dirty, old man. He was the antithesis of what I was used to seeing within my boyhood world. The man actually looked dirty, if you know what I mean. His skin was leathery and tan with a few murky green tattoos scattered about. He drank whiskey and told dirty jokes. And he was always sitting in his recliner over in the corner of their small den flipping through channels on their CRT TV as furniture.
But the most interesting thing about this man was his willingness to dialogue with us boys. Not about school or toys, Boy Scouting (my friend and I were in the same cub scout troop) or church, but women and wine, sex and all things profane. It was shocking at first to be around this, but so different than another friend's dad who simply laid silently on their couch all the time corpse-like. The man was motionless whilst staring at the TV, never once acknowledging our presence as we traversed silently to and fro through their small den.
By today's standards / expectations, my friend's dad (if he were still living) would represent the ultimate politically incorrect caricature of a man, but I would argue, also by today's standards, that my memory of him embodies the perpetual anchoring of truth, relative to true manhood, from the angle of who we all would like on some level to grow up to be. And this I believe was true despite his crustiness and unrefined influence. I mean, you certainly had to work to see through that perimeter, but from there, he was simply to be respected. Plus, he had a wonderful sense of humor and was genuinely a fun-loving older man. Below is a photo of the mid '80s 4Runner. He had one of these (it was navy blue with a black top) with a Dukes of Hazzard horn.
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1. If you're going to love and love well, you must firstly love yourself as the man God created you to be. And that internal love is rooted in respect (for yourself).
2. Despite our culture's choosing to elevate sexuality as its language / rating system for life in general, we're absolutely not wise to follow suit, but as men, especially Christian men, we should be moreso enlightened to why this is effectively so (& its affecting role on us) more than anyone else. And from there, I would argue, peace settles in, and we're sort of "in on the childishness of it all" if you know what I mean.
3. Now, when it comes to my third point, it's simply the reality we live in. Some guys experience a lot of background feedback from this equalization paradigm, but overall, the key, in my experience, is always tied to who exactly you're working / living with in this vein and how you're treated in turn / given an opportunity to treat / serve in return. Specific ingredients make the recipe either soar or fall flat.
4. And finally, here we are back at the beginning relative to acknowledging an understanding of God's word and how it can be applied to our lives today as Christians.
As an aside, my Silas and I meet weekly and we're embarking this year on taking some time to study specifics on certain Biblical men including:
- Moses
- Joshua
- Job
- David
- Daniel
- Paul
- Barnabas
I'm tasked with coming up with five questions that will be used to analyze each well.
Lagniappe
