Broken To Beloved Summit: January 21-25, 2025

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Curiosity Guardrails

As a 52-year-old, I have and continue to be a very curious person.  And this curiosity primarily is seated towards men / boys / males.  Whether it's interpersonal, business, church, if males are involved therein, I'm curious as to who these dudes are specifically / what motivates them to be involved / their backstory, etc.  In other words, if I had been Steve Trevor, landing on Themyscira by accident, I would likely have quickly died from boredom.  Why?  To Rob, women, in particular, are incredibly boring / uninteresting handiworks of the Creator God.  And no, that statement doesn't automatically make me a misogynist.  For I love my wife and my daughters with my whole heart.  

As such, women / girls / females are of distinct value, but overall, I MUCH PREFER being opportunistic regarding rubbing shoulders with men / boys / males. & for the most part, this curiosity is rooted in my own gender combined with my distinct inability to see myself (good, bad or ugly) therein.  Combine those two together and you have an endless supply of motivation to be man / boy / male curious / associative.

A distinct benefit of my men / boy / male curiosity / fascination is it has allowed me to clinically analyze the cultural choice that so many men have made as it pertains to their homosexual desires, and the keyword there is clinically.  And I've been doing this from early on within my life as I crossed paths with in-person men prior to also overlaying that MO with those who present themselves online.  Earlier this week, I delved into a podcast that's hook is interviewing hyper-masculine gay porn stars.  And it was fascinating.  To have that granular opportunity here in 2025 is amazing.  For it allows me to see / understand / confirm my choices by analyzing - up close & personal - theirs.  All the while satiating my curiosity appetite (in ways that do not involve gay porn).  

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And that serves as a lovely segue into the ease of access of gay porn and why that's such an issue for me.

Covenant Eyes is my lifesaver.  It puts guardrails on my insatiable curiosity yet not so much that I feel like I'm being treated as if I'm a child.  

I have one Ally who monitors the CE reporting and WILL reach out if he sees activity (he receives my report on Monday) therein that seems abnormal.

This man is local, and we've known each other for many years (originating within in-person Samson Society).  I respect this man enough to know how his presence as my Ally influences my behavior online.

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What's unusual is how effective this is overall.  Now, there have been rare occasions (tail end of last year) where I've been lackadaisical, and this has resulted in me delving into gay porn consumption no holds barred (for a week or two).  But this approach / attitude isn't the norm.  

Nonetheless, if throwing caution to the wind does rear its head more than usual, I may very well turn on filtering within the CE sentinel software as a means to an end.  Thankfully, at this point, I've never had to do that.

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And yes, there are times when CE "craps out" and needs reinstallation.  All software has this trait, and mostly it's due to CE not being able to readily keep up with OS updates - rung to rung.  

In closing, CE is a huge partner of Samson Society.  I love this especially about their company. Countless men hear about Samson Society via their engagement with Covenant Eyes. 

All this being said, I just purchased a CE lifetime membership and am proud for it.

Thank you, Covenant Eyes for orchestrating my online behavior for the better.

Recommended Reading

The Anti-Social Century - The Atlantic

2025 Samson Summit: Registration Now Open – Limited-Time Discount!

 

Samson Brothers: As we step into the New Year, it’s a time when many of us make resolutions to change things we don’t like about ourselves. But what if, instead of trying to "fix" those parts of ourselves, we chose to approach them with curiosity and compassion? This November, we invite you to the 2025 Samson Summit – a unique opportunity to explore your story, deepen your relationships, and embrace the fullness of who you are. Resolve to Join Us This November This Summit, featuring Chris Bruno, will challenge us to rethink how we approach the parts of ourselves we often view with contempt or disgust. Instead of self-criticism, let’s resolve to be curious. Let’s learn how to show love to the wounded and hidden corners of our hearts. Take Advantage of This Exclusive 5-Day Discount! From Monday, January 6 through Friday, January 10, take advantage of reduced pricing on all lodging options. This is your chance to secure your spot at a discounted rate! Two payment options available: pay in full now or pay a 50% deposit and the remaining balance in September.  Learn More

Learn More There's Something For Your Partner Too! During the Samson Summit on November 7-9, 2025, we are offering The Wild and Sacred Journey, a transformative weekend retreat designed exclusively for women to reconnect with the wild, playful, and sacred aspects of themselves. This experience weaves together moments of creative expression, deep reflection, and communal celebration, all set against the breathtaking backdrop of Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Ready To Listen? Ready To Be Heard? If So, Samson Society Might Just Be For You In 2025.

Mr. Nate Larkin has been hosting one of the (5-6 per week) "newcomer meetings" for quite a while now.  These meetings serve as a clearinghouse for men who're interested in joining Samson Society (gaining access to virtual meetings / Slack, etc.), and it's assumed they've never attended an in-person Samson meeting (i.e. they're very green).  

In essence, newcomers are able to reserve a seat at (again, 5-6 offered per week) upcoming newcomers' meetings on the homepage of www.samsonsociety.com.  From there, they receive an email invitation which gives them access at the set day / time of their scheduled meeting.  

I had the privilege to officially take the reins of Nate's regularly hosted newcomers' meeting this past Saturday, (12/28) in response to Nate's wife's request to be able to spend the full Saturday(s) with him going forward.  It was a whole lot of fun.

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The newcomers' meeting firstly, in my mind, needs to provide these men - who're brave enough to step up - with a concise description of what exactly Samson Society is and how it works.  And these newcomer meeting's foundations laid therein already does bring that to bare.  How so?  There's a specific newcomers' meeting slide deck that provides a one-to-one overview of a standard format Samson meeting.  As such, it's expected that me as the host, breeze through these at some point during the hour.  Besides that, what I also observed Mr. Nate Larkin relay were specific details as to his journey within 12-steps groups and how he'd attempted to overlay many of those attributes in light of his desire to foster similarly positive experiences within Samson Society (a personal justification / origin story of the Samson ethos).  

Therefore, there's a template here, but in regard to Nate's position as founder, he also brought so much firsthand narrative to the table.

But one truth that I keep coming back to is how - within a standard format meeting - guys essentially are given the opportunity / expectation to both listen intently whilst talking openly themselves sans any feedback.  This, to me, is what sets Samson Society apart.

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We are a culture built on individualism.  Individualism that's customizable to the nth degree.  This western culture approach has grown out of another cultural lynchpin.  That being unending criticism - from every side.  We westerners spend an enormous amount of energy / time critiquing everything around us.  And this is an outgrowth of our being image bearers.  For God offers the ultimate critique as he adjudicates our hearts with the deepest and most resolute sincerity.  

Because of this, we hide an awful lot of ourselves or choose to live separate lives depending on the surroundings we might find ourselves within.  And this is an inevitability, though as we age, I do believe there can / should be less and less of this default shielding.

Therefore, for those of us who find the results of these various approaches stilting, debilitating, suffocating, genuinely exhausting, I offer you Samson Society.  

And no, you don't have to have issues with anything especially compulsory or addictive to qualify.    

  

"The Porn-Free Man": Online Conference (January 10-11, 2025)

The Porn Free Man: Online Conference (January 10-11, 2025)

Samson Society Year-End Newsletter 2024

 

Recommended Listening

 Dying to Self | Francis Chan - Crazy Love Podcast - Apple Podcasts

Make 2025 The Year That You Find & Commit To A Local Church Body

 Churches fight to stay open as attendance dwindles - ABC News

Recommended Reading

 Holy Bravery: How Christian Men Act Like Men | Desiring God

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2024!

 MERRY CHRISTMAS 2024!

Do You Fear God?

When I began to realize how deliberately indulging lust was (at the precipice of middle school), this is when I began to truly fear God.  Up until then, I had no real reason to fear him, though I did believe he existed and that our world had been / continued to be ordered via his will.  

My bio father was an enforcer of rules within our home, though most of those were unspoken expectations that simply centered around me being obedient to my parents' commands (sans any sardonic commentary).  As I aged, he understandably pulled back therein (in proportion to my teenage emotional retreat), becoming more and more distant as any sort of active guidepost / leader within my life (he was consistently present / reliably routine). 

Therefore eventually, my then new fear of God also morphed into need.  That being direction for not only managing my depravity but for my life overall.  For my penchant for lust was only ramping up / becoming more pervasive as a go-to private entertainment escape.

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We've had the good fortune to spend some quality time with new friends over the holidays.  One of the distinct differences that I've clued into therein is the lack of God fear within these lovely human beings.  And as a Christian, this is hard for me to relate to.  For I begin wondering, am I more depraved than most, or is this simply tied to me attempting to be God (judge) with or without any true accuracy (or some combination therein)?

I read my Bible regularly.  I pray regularly.  I enjoy both of these things immensely.  Right now, I'm reading through the book of Ezekiel.  In fact, I just finished chapter 23.  If you've never read Ezekiel 23, it's essentially a brutally descriptive / explicitly pornographic allegory of two people groups / physical places and God's utter disgust with their chronic debauchery (lack of fear).  

In tandem with this, I'm undergoing some very intense personal recovery work right here during the holidays.  Recovery work inspired by some of Mr. Andrew Bauman's teachings at the '24 Samson Summit.

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In closing, church is really important to me as well.  Why?  Because of its representation as Christ's bride combined with all the good (that I've experienced) from being involved within a local body of believers.  Much of the book of Acts focuses on the early Christian church.  If you're a Bible-loving Christian, wouldn't you work hard to find / invest within a local church (even if you're single) that serves you / allows you to serve others well?

I'm certainly not anymore depraved than the average Joe, but I am much more prone to ruminate on this part of myself (I have to believe).  

At times, a deep-seated sense of worthlessness has taken root, over the years, as a result of this.  

Were I less inclined to follow This Path, I don't believe fear would ever reside within the same sentence as God, therefore I'm very much at peace with remembering my need for salvation and, in turn, how deliberately rebellious my heart can be as any sort of almanac for my life.  

Lagniappe: