"Healthy People" Rules Of The Road

I read an excellent excerpt by a family physician this week. After 20+ years of practice, he observed 5 things that set 'healthy' people apart from 'unhealthy' ones:

1. They Control Their First and Last 30 Minutes of the Day

"Most people wake up and immediately react to alarms, notifications, caffeine cravings, or urgent emails. But my healthiest patients start and end the day on purpose. They hydrate before anything else—before coffee, before stress, before checking their phones. They move their bodies, even if it’s just five minutes of stretching or deep breathing. They protect their minds, avoiding news or emails that hijack their focus before they’ve had a chance to set their own intentions."

2. They Don’t Rely on Motivation—They Engineer Their Environment

"Most people think healthy people have more willpower. They don’t. They remove friction between themselves and good decisions. They keep a water bottle in sight, so hydration is automatic. They leave their walking shoes by the door, so movement is the default. They charge their phones outside the bedroom, so sleep is uninterrupted. They don’t make healthy choices harder than they need to be. They make them effortless."

3. They Eat to Stay in Control, Not Just to Be "Healthy"

"Food is more than fuel. It shapes mood, focus, and energy levels. My healthiest patients don’t just eat for nutrition. They eat for clarity. They choose foods that keep blood sugar steady because energy crashes lead to bad decisions. They avoid “quick fixes” that leave them drained because burnout starts in the gut. They eat with awareness, not out of boredom, stress, or habit."

4. They Regulate Stress Like It’s a Game of Chess

"Most people wait until they’re drowning before they 'manage' stress. My healthiest patients lower stress before it takes control. They take a deep breath before reacting, because panic is a choice. They walk between stressful tasks, because movement resets the brain. They reframe problems quickly, because wasted mental energy is the real burnout."

5. They Treat Sleep Like a Performance Drug

"My healthiest patients have a bedtime ritual, so their bodies expect sleep instead of resisting it. They limit blue light at night because even small disruptions in sleep can derail metabolism and mood. They wake up at the same time daily, even on weekends, because inconsistency disrupts everything from digestion to cognitive function."

$$$

 

Yikes!  

I had lunch recently with an old recovery friend.  I'd run into him during Q4 of '24 and promised to follow up in January of this year.  Of all the men I've known who've truly dedicated themselves to recovery work, he's - by far - the one who's spent the most $$$ therein.  

Therapists, workshops, parachurch men's ministries, monetary gifts, gifts and more gifts.

And his story is nothing like mine (nor yours).  Therefore, I have complete respect for his monetary choices regarding his personal recovery.

That being said, he also has very, very deep pockets combined with a truly giving spirit.  All in all, I'm very fortunate to be his friend, but frankly I can't imagine spending the kind of $$$ he has on recovery efforts.

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The primary reason the talons of gay porn sunk themselves so deeply into my psyche all those years ago (when the Internet first came on the scene) was due to ease of access (it was practically free).  

From there, I was on my way down the rabbit hole, wasting countless hours of my life, with eyes wide open.  But it's important to note that had there been a "per image fee", you would have NEVER found me online with my credit card in tow.  

Hell no.

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Immediately following my '13 job loss, I met with a local therapist who - almost immediately - handed me a pamphlet detailing Bethesda workshops in TN.  From there, he stated, "You need to sign up straight away (no pun intended) for the next available weekend workshop".  I recall feeling so misunderstood by him for he'd not taken the time to get to know me and my story.

These world renown workshops cost thousands of dollars.  I was already having to pay him hundreds of dollars for each therapy session, and this was money I didn't have to spend as well.

It made me feel tremendously used and unserved by the Christian community.  Yet, I had no idea where else to turn for genuine help.  It didn't take me long to stop honoring my appointments with him.  

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As I've been engaged within the Samson Society virtual community, I've noticed that numerous Samson guys have leveraged their recovery work in the form of becoming certified recovery "coaches", etc. as a means to begin drawing an income from their past travails / regrets.

If you take a close look at Mr. Nate Larkin, Samson Society founder, you'll note that his intent was to create a community of men who could find needed support sans paying a fee.  Nor did he pivot his vocation towards becoming a paid speaker or recovery advocate who might encourage (paid) membership into his recovery club.

I so admire him for taking this approach.  To me, it's a clear reflection of his faith combined with an understanding / comprehension of the immeasurably large problem online porn is for so many men.

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I recognize that venues cost $$$, and that many guys love the notion of a recovery vacation of sorts.  Especially as they find themselves well along within their individual recovery journey.  

What's important to realize though is that for some of us, participating within Samson Society (meetings / following The Path) was (& continues to be) plenty sufficient.  And as such, eventually, we begin / began giving back monetarily to provide support to a ministry that's ready and willing to meet newbies exactly where they're at (just as we once were met).  

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Back in '23, I left the Samson Summit (10th anniversary gathering!) a wee bit early.  As I was waiting for my ride outside the TX venue, I couldn't help but notice one of the workshop leaders climb into his brand-new top-of-the-line Ford F-150 truck.  For he'd just gathered up his belongings (stowed inside the extended cab) and was gearing up to depart.  

Frankly I was a bit shocked that a therapist would be driving such a costly vehicle.  And I suppose it could have been a rental, but he was only traveling back to Mississippi as I was, therefore I doubted that.

Internet porn is practically free of charge.  Strong, reliable BASELINE recovery resources should be the same.  Many of us simply aren't willing or able to fork over sizable amounts of $$$ in order to access helpful resources.  In turn, tenured Samson guys should be giving $$$ back on a regular basis.  

Giving back (time & $$$) is good for the soul.

Broken To Beloved Summit: January 21-25, 2025

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Curiosity Guardrails

As a 52-year-old, I have and continue to be a very curious person.  And this curiosity primarily is seated towards men / boys / males.  Whether it's interpersonal, business, church, if males are involved therein, I'm curious as to who these dudes are specifically / what motivates them to be involved / their backstory, etc.  In other words, if I had been Steve Trevor, landing on Themyscira by accident, I would likely have quickly died from boredom.  Why?  To Rob, women, in particular, are incredibly boring / uninteresting handiworks of the Creator God.  And no, that statement doesn't automatically make me a misogynist.  For I love my wife and my daughters with my whole heart.  

As such, women / girls / females are of distinct value, but overall, I MUCH PREFER being opportunistic regarding rubbing shoulders with men / boys / males. & for the most part, this curiosity is rooted in my own gender combined with my distinct inability to see myself (good, bad or ugly) therein.  Combine those two together and you have an endless supply of motivation to be man / boy / male curious / associative.

A distinct benefit of my men / boy / male curiosity / fascination is it has allowed me to clinically analyze the cultural choice that so many men have made as it pertains to their homosexual desires, and the keyword there is clinically.  And I've been doing this from early on within my life as I crossed paths with in-person men prior to also overlaying that MO with those who present themselves online.  Earlier this week, I delved into a podcast that's hook is interviewing hyper-masculine gay porn stars.  And it was fascinating.  To have that granular opportunity here in 2025 is amazing.  For it allows me to see / understand / confirm my choices by analyzing - up close & personal - theirs.  All the while satiating my curiosity appetite (in ways that do not involve gay porn).  

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And that serves as a lovely segue into the ease of access of gay porn and why that's such an issue for me.

Covenant Eyes is my lifesaver.  It puts guardrails on my insatiable curiosity yet not so much that I feel like I'm being treated as if I'm a child.  

I have one Ally who monitors the CE reporting and WILL reach out if he sees activity (he receives my report on Monday) therein that seems abnormal.

This man is local, and we've known each other for many years (originating within in-person Samson Society).  I respect this man enough to know how his presence as my Ally influences my behavior online.

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What's unusual is how effective this is overall.  Now, there have been rare occasions (tail end of last year) where I've been lackadaisical, and this has resulted in me delving into gay porn consumption no holds barred (for a week or two).  But this approach / attitude isn't the norm.  

Nonetheless, if throwing caution to the wind does rear its head more than usual, I may very well turn on filtering within the CE sentinel software as a means to an end.  Thankfully, at this point, I've never had to do that.

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And yes, there are times when CE "craps out" and needs reinstallation.  All software has this trait, and mostly it's due to CE not being able to readily keep up with OS updates - rung to rung.  

In closing, CE is a huge partner of Samson Society.  I love this especially about their company. Countless men hear about Samson Society via their engagement with Covenant Eyes. 

All this being said, I just purchased a CE lifetime membership and am proud for it.

Thank you, Covenant Eyes for orchestrating my online behavior for the better.

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