Ms. Rosario Butterfield is one of my favorite people. I heard her speak a few years back at First Presbyterian Church here in Jackson, MS. She's articulate and doesn't shy away from topics that can be quite politically incorrect to argue for / against.
But, when you search Scripture as diligently as she has, with that research in tow, her commentary rings true with much practicality.
My very first authentic friendship with another man - that truly began to point me towards Christ - was one that was very, very long distance. My friend was in Australia and I was here, and we corresponded electronically for about 18 months. His story was strikingly similar to my own, and due to the strength and encouragement our friendship gave me, I began to open up to other Christian men here in the Jackson metro. That opened my eyes to how incredible it was to obtain authentic friendships amongst men - especially men who were already somewhat physically present (church, neighbors, work) within my life.
This truly was a jumping off point for me.
One of the local men I befriended as a result of this newfound freedom was living a particularly thorny existence. There was all kinds of behind the scenes activity complicating things immensely within his life. I knew this immediately as he was brave enough to be absolutely transparent with me. But unfortunately, at that time, there was no Samson Society (at least here locally) for either of us to situate ourselves as Christian brothers within, therefore we clung to each other platonically for support.
Eventually, I unintentionally skewered the friendship as a result of my wanting to bring into our circle other men whom might also walk beside both of us together. In other words, I took the step of disclosing some things about my friend to some of our mutual friends in hopes he would yield to my concern that we simply shouldn't be walking with this much baggage on our own. And to be more specific, these other men were pastors, therefore they were perfectly suited to shore up our community of two - even if it was only from a distance.
Ms. Butterfield walked away from a homosexual lifestyle prior to becoming a Christian. She's written a number of books that chronicle her journey. No doubt her experience there gives her insight into codependency.
I have been involved in our local Samson Society ministry for close to 5 years and have befriended countless men as a result. What gives me resolve and peace of mind more than anything else is knowing firsthand how unworkable long-term co-dependent friendships really are due to the fact that I've tried to make them work. What I've found is men need a community of men. Jesus gathered his disciples, and they walked together. Yes, there were certainly his favorites who were in on some matters that others weren't, but overall, it wasn't Jesus and one or two other men - all the time.
I really, really like this model from a pragmatic standpoint, and find much peace knowing that it's scriptural. The icing on the cake is the fact that Samson Society falls in line with that model perfectly.
Lagniappe
Weekly meetings available to you are as follows:
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, Foundry Church - 3010 Lakeland Cove, Flowood. Call Matt Flint at (601) 260-8518 or email him at matthewflint.makes@gmail.com or Lance Bowser at (601) 862-8308 or email at lancebowser@msi-inv.com.
Wednesday at 6:00 PM, First Baptist Church Jackson - Summit Counseling Suite - 431 North State St. Jackson. Call Don Waller at 601-946-1290 or email him at don@wallerbros.com.
Monday at 6:30 PM , Vertical Church - 521 Gluckstadt Road Madison, MS 39110. Mr. Roane Hunter, facilitator, LifeWorks Counseling.
Sunday night at 6:00 PM, Grace Crossing Baptist Church - 598 Yandell Rd. Canton. Call Ryan Adams at 662-571-5705 or email him at ryan.adams1747@gmail.com.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Unanswered letter
Yesterday, I visited the grave of a friend from college. I did an Internet search a few weeks back, only to shockingly find his obituary. In the past 18 to 24 months, I'd found evidence online that his life had taken a very dark turn. From there, I reached out in desperation, but my letter was unanswered.
The letter detailed my own authentic story and served to introduce my friend to Samson Society.
Now, as of last November, my friend is dead. He was 46 (my age).
As I stood there over the mound of dirt, I felt as if I'd failed my friend. Especially as it relates to our college days. I remember vividly how overwhelmed I was by him, having never met someone with such charisma and zeal for life. Unfortunately, back then in 1991, I found myself discreetly backing away, citing (internal) exhaustion. But that was a lame excuse. What truly motivated me was selfishness. I simply didn't want to be bothered by his unique, effervescent, highly volatile personality. Looking back, I regret abandoning him. Especially now that he's dead and buried.
I wonder if he actually received my letter from a year or so ago, and if he did, what he thought about it. Did he despise me for such tardy care and concern?
I now have even more resolve to be intentional as a men's minister. Know this, as a Christian man, you're no less qualified than I to do the same.
Keep sending those letters - tardy or not. I know I sure am.
The letter detailed my own authentic story and served to introduce my friend to Samson Society.
Now, as of last November, my friend is dead. He was 46 (my age).
As I stood there over the mound of dirt, I felt as if I'd failed my friend. Especially as it relates to our college days. I remember vividly how overwhelmed I was by him, having never met someone with such charisma and zeal for life. Unfortunately, back then in 1991, I found myself discreetly backing away, citing (internal) exhaustion. But that was a lame excuse. What truly motivated me was selfishness. I simply didn't want to be bothered by his unique, effervescent, highly volatile personality. Looking back, I regret abandoning him. Especially now that he's dead and buried.
I wonder if he actually received my letter from a year or so ago, and if he did, what he thought about it. Did he despise me for such tardy care and concern?
I now have even more resolve to be intentional as a men's minister. Know this, as a Christian man, you're no less qualified than I to do the same.
Keep sending those letters - tardy or not. I know I sure am.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
"Are you staying busy?"
An old friend, whom I hadn't seen in some time, asked me this question earlier this week.
For anyone who's male and working full-time here in America, this is an age-old adage. Though it's framed as a question, it's a rhetorical one, therefore I see it as an adage. If you were to unwrap the question prior to reframing it, you'd end up with:
Life is a rat race, and if you're not with the program (in the race), I can't relate to you.
Men should not be lazy, but a rat race isn't what God called men to. Instead, Christ modeled intentionality with his time / motivations.
When you strength train or run or participate in any high intensity exercise program, you're intentional about it. If you participate in a Bible study or read a novel, you're intentional about it. If you dedicate yourself to a community of men, you're intentional about it. It has nothing to do with the rat race.
Being intentional takes the race out of the equation and puts God's priorities first. God wants nothing more than for men to glorify Him.
That's impossible to accomplish without a clear mindset towards intentionality.
For anyone who's male and working full-time here in America, this is an age-old adage. Though it's framed as a question, it's a rhetorical one, therefore I see it as an adage. If you were to unwrap the question prior to reframing it, you'd end up with:
Life is a rat race, and if you're not with the program (in the race), I can't relate to you.
Men should not be lazy, but a rat race isn't what God called men to. Instead, Christ modeled intentionality with his time / motivations.
When you strength train or run or participate in any high intensity exercise program, you're intentional about it. If you participate in a Bible study or read a novel, you're intentional about it. If you dedicate yourself to a community of men, you're intentional about it. It has nothing to do with the rat race.
Being intentional takes the race out of the equation and puts God's priorities first. God wants nothing more than for men to glorify Him.
That's impossible to accomplish without a clear mindset towards intentionality.
Thursday, March 7, 2019
Exposing sin / temptation within Christian community
As Christian men, we're constantly battling our propensity to sin. For many men, their method of coping with this pull is to ignore it.
Sin is an unrighteous solution to some form of fleshly desire. Christians are filled with the Holy Spirit as God's children, therefore there's definitive knowledge of righteous living that's available from the inside out.
Despite that knowledge, there's always a choice to be made as to whether sin is to be participated in. Whether it's deep inside one's mind or fully engaged with another individual.
Take for example, the fleshly desire to feel secure and safe. That desire can be placated in innumerable ways via sin, and of course, our pagan culture is here to assist!
Out of sin grows shame. At first, this is healthy shame, but once a man engages in chronic sin, the shame itself can become the problem due to the fact that it cultivates the "rationale" to isolate oneself.
Have you ever seen an animal who's been physically abused? Say, a dog? These pets tend to behave very differently than their healthier cohorts. I don't know if an animal can feel shame, but abused animals certainly know what it feels like to experience fear based on their circumstance. And when those feelings consume the natural identity within that animal, certain behaviors emerge that prove the animal's true identity has been compromised.
I clearly remember the first day I walked into a Samson Society meeting back in 2014 at First Baptist Church, Jackson. The shame relative to my sin was immense! It was as if my entire identity in Christ had been hijacked.
Now, too, I brought to the Samson table a boatload of worthlessness. Worthlessness that I'd wrestled with since I was a boy. Again, this worked against my true identity as a believer.
Jesus lived within a community of men as he ministered here on Earth. We see that chronicled within the gospels, and I believe that setting fostered his ability to be in perfect communion with his true identity as the Messiah despite the fact that he was also 100% fully human. Of course, Jesus didn't sin. Instead, he looked to his Heavenly Father to fulfill every desire he had. But, Jesus was tempted to sin, therefore he understood how pursuant to a resolve sin can look to be when men desire.
Stating firsthand one's goal to fulfill every desire in Christ / Father God certainly sounds admirable, but how do we model that today?
For Rob, Samson Society is a clearinghouse that provides me with platonic support in the midst of this pursuit. All manner of men are involved, and each speaks from his place in life as a bachelor, husband, father, brother, son, and so forth. From there, inevitably, dialogue involving temptation and sin occurs, and it's kept in strictest confidence. Every man who's willing to participate is warmly accepted. None are shirked or shunned so long as they bring their authentic selves.
This is what Jesus' disciples modeled for us.
Were they perfect in their community? Of course not. But, they were far better off walking alongside each other than on their own.
What's been made of my shame? Today, it's in proper proportion to my identity in Christ. In other words, it's healthy shame. Which means, I can actually learn from it versus being defined by it. Plus, I better understand now my desires, thanks to my involvement in Samson Society, and this in itself has given me insight into the intentional need to seek fulfillment of those desires in ways that please my Heavenly Father / align with his will.
For everyone who knows me, I relish the opportunity to talk about my sin / past failings. It's never been a waste of my time to bring failures into the light nor the continued draw towards unrighteousness in all its many shapes and forms.
I want to be the best man I can be as I serve those around me. Samson Society promotes that by resisting that god awful worthlessness within a setting that harkens back to the community of Jesus. Thanks be to God for Samson Society!
Sin is an unrighteous solution to some form of fleshly desire. Christians are filled with the Holy Spirit as God's children, therefore there's definitive knowledge of righteous living that's available from the inside out.
Despite that knowledge, there's always a choice to be made as to whether sin is to be participated in. Whether it's deep inside one's mind or fully engaged with another individual.
Take for example, the fleshly desire to feel secure and safe. That desire can be placated in innumerable ways via sin, and of course, our pagan culture is here to assist!
Out of sin grows shame. At first, this is healthy shame, but once a man engages in chronic sin, the shame itself can become the problem due to the fact that it cultivates the "rationale" to isolate oneself.
Have you ever seen an animal who's been physically abused? Say, a dog? These pets tend to behave very differently than their healthier cohorts. I don't know if an animal can feel shame, but abused animals certainly know what it feels like to experience fear based on their circumstance. And when those feelings consume the natural identity within that animal, certain behaviors emerge that prove the animal's true identity has been compromised.
I clearly remember the first day I walked into a Samson Society meeting back in 2014 at First Baptist Church, Jackson. The shame relative to my sin was immense! It was as if my entire identity in Christ had been hijacked.
Now, too, I brought to the Samson table a boatload of worthlessness. Worthlessness that I'd wrestled with since I was a boy. Again, this worked against my true identity as a believer.
Jesus lived within a community of men as he ministered here on Earth. We see that chronicled within the gospels, and I believe that setting fostered his ability to be in perfect communion with his true identity as the Messiah despite the fact that he was also 100% fully human. Of course, Jesus didn't sin. Instead, he looked to his Heavenly Father to fulfill every desire he had. But, Jesus was tempted to sin, therefore he understood how pursuant to a resolve sin can look to be when men desire.
Stating firsthand one's goal to fulfill every desire in Christ / Father God certainly sounds admirable, but how do we model that today?
For Rob, Samson Society is a clearinghouse that provides me with platonic support in the midst of this pursuit. All manner of men are involved, and each speaks from his place in life as a bachelor, husband, father, brother, son, and so forth. From there, inevitably, dialogue involving temptation and sin occurs, and it's kept in strictest confidence. Every man who's willing to participate is warmly accepted. None are shirked or shunned so long as they bring their authentic selves.
This is what Jesus' disciples modeled for us.
Were they perfect in their community? Of course not. But, they were far better off walking alongside each other than on their own.
What's been made of my shame? Today, it's in proper proportion to my identity in Christ. In other words, it's healthy shame. Which means, I can actually learn from it versus being defined by it. Plus, I better understand now my desires, thanks to my involvement in Samson Society, and this in itself has given me insight into the intentional need to seek fulfillment of those desires in ways that please my Heavenly Father / align with his will.
For everyone who knows me, I relish the opportunity to talk about my sin / past failings. It's never been a waste of my time to bring failures into the light nor the continued draw towards unrighteousness in all its many shapes and forms.
I want to be the best man I can be as I serve those around me. Samson Society promotes that by resisting that god awful worthlessness within a setting that harkens back to the community of Jesus. Thanks be to God for Samson Society!
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Fall 2019 Samson Society Retreat Announced!
This week, I had the good fortune of listening in to a Pirate Monk podcast that was recorded recently, and on it, Mr. Nate Larkin announced the venue and dates for the 2019 Fall Samson Society Retreat.
Dates: November 1-3, 2019
Location: Lakeshore Camp & Retreat Center Eva, Tennessee
This retreat is essentially one part gathering of Samson Society men from around the world and one part opportunity. The former caters to the Samson men who participate exclusively in the Samson Society virtual meetings. The latter benefits everyone by offering information / inspiration / training on topics that are usually very relevant to Samson men.
Last year, there were +/-100 men present, the weather was cool, and the food was great! The setting is clean and homey. Plus, it's sited on a beautiful (quite large) lake.
There's opportunity to participate in as much or as little group activities as one would like, but truly the highlight of attending is simply engaging formally with a group of men who are dedicated to a men's ministry that's making an impact around the world.
Dates: November 1-3, 2019
Location: Lakeshore Camp & Retreat Center Eva, Tennessee
This retreat is essentially one part gathering of Samson Society men from around the world and one part opportunity. The former caters to the Samson men who participate exclusively in the Samson Society virtual meetings. The latter benefits everyone by offering information / inspiration / training on topics that are usually very relevant to Samson men.
Last year, there were +/-100 men present, the weather was cool, and the food was great! The setting is clean and homey. Plus, it's sited on a beautiful (quite large) lake.
There's opportunity to participate in as much or as little group activities as one would like, but truly the highlight of attending is simply engaging formally with a group of men who are dedicated to a men's ministry that's making an impact around the world.
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Anticipatory
I anticipate attending a Metro Jackson Samson Society meeting each week. Since I facilitate the Saturday morning meeting at Lakeside Pres, that's the one and only I tend to attend, therefore obviously, I'm biased towards it. But, prior to Lakeside allowing me to facilitate that meeting, I still anticipated attending a weekly meeting somewhere within the Metro.
I'm an introvert, therefore meetings use up a lot of my personal energy. Afterwards, it takes time for me to recover from that, especially considering the after-meeting that immediately follows a Samson Society meeting. Considering that, I know the importance of meetings that are productive in terms of assisting everyone involved with direction and focus with whatever the group may be tasked with.
What's different about a Samson Society meeting is the only direction or focus given is that which is provided by those who choose to attend, and even then, I would argue, if they're Christians, the ultimate overseer during the hour is the Holy Spirit.
Typically a meeting is very much brought under control by the invitees. Each individual represents a pragmatic qualifier tied to why they're there, and through that, there's the inevitable hierarchy of importance seated around the table. Samson Society meetings are the opposite of that. There aren't any essential people, therefore rank simply can't be felt. It's refreshing actually to look across the room and not see any other man but horizontally, and this, for an introvert like myself, makes the situation much easier to stomach.
Too, this concept also applies relative to dress, race, demeanor, and so on. It makes for an incredibly level playing field.
Within these circumstances, everyone's prone to speak from their heart. It is so good. I love it! Thanks be to God for Samson Society.
I'm an introvert, therefore meetings use up a lot of my personal energy. Afterwards, it takes time for me to recover from that, especially considering the after-meeting that immediately follows a Samson Society meeting. Considering that, I know the importance of meetings that are productive in terms of assisting everyone involved with direction and focus with whatever the group may be tasked with.
What's different about a Samson Society meeting is the only direction or focus given is that which is provided by those who choose to attend, and even then, I would argue, if they're Christians, the ultimate overseer during the hour is the Holy Spirit.
Typically a meeting is very much brought under control by the invitees. Each individual represents a pragmatic qualifier tied to why they're there, and through that, there's the inevitable hierarchy of importance seated around the table. Samson Society meetings are the opposite of that. There aren't any essential people, therefore rank simply can't be felt. It's refreshing actually to look across the room and not see any other man but horizontally, and this, for an introvert like myself, makes the situation much easier to stomach.
Too, this concept also applies relative to dress, race, demeanor, and so on. It makes for an incredibly level playing field.
Within these circumstances, everyone's prone to speak from their heart. It is so good. I love it! Thanks be to God for Samson Society.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Hear Joe McCalman preach!
March 10, 2019 is a big day at Grace Crossing Baptist Church in Gluckstadt, MS. Our very own Metro Jackson Samson Society facilitator, Mr. Joe McCalman, will be preaching! Let's not miss this opportunity to support Joe as he provokes his audience towards the gospel message.
It will no doubt be a great day!
It will no doubt be a great day!
Sunday, February 10, 2019
The Pact
1. God is the sole owner of the Samson
Society and its only authority. No
member may speak for the entire Society.
2. All members of the Society are equals —
friends and fellow servants, bound by
love and honor. No member may
command the obedience of another.
3. The Society owns no property, collects
no dues or fees, pays no salaries, incurs
no debts.
4. The Society is an extension of the
Church Universal. It is not a corporate
entity and can make no contracts with
congregations, denominations, causes or
campaigns, regardless of their merit.
5. Any two or more persons who believe the
Fact, who agree to follow this Path and
join this Pact, may initiate a meeting of
the Samson Society.
6. We hold in strictest confidence any
personal information shared by other
members, unless permission to divulge it
is given by any whom its disclosure
might affect.
7. Members are fully authorized to create
and distribute, freely or for profit,
personal explanations and applications of
the Society’s principles — if they neither
alter nor violate its Charter and do not
prohibit others from copying their work.
Society and its only authority. No
member may speak for the entire Society.
2. All members of the Society are equals —
friends and fellow servants, bound by
love and honor. No member may
command the obedience of another.
3. The Society owns no property, collects
no dues or fees, pays no salaries, incurs
no debts.
4. The Society is an extension of the
Church Universal. It is not a corporate
entity and can make no contracts with
congregations, denominations, causes or
campaigns, regardless of their merit.
5. Any two or more persons who believe the
Fact, who agree to follow this Path and
join this Pact, may initiate a meeting of
the Samson Society.
6. We hold in strictest confidence any
personal information shared by other
members, unless permission to divulge it
is given by any whom its disclosure
might affect.
7. Members are fully authorized to create
and distribute, freely or for profit,
personal explanations and applications of
the Society’s principles — if they neither
alter nor violate its Charter and do not
prohibit others from copying their work.
The Path
1. Believing The Fact, I surrender to God in
simple faith — making no promises, but
merely asking for His aid.
2. I start attending meetings of the Society,
and from its members I select a Silas, a
trustworthy traveling companion for this
stretch of the road.
3. In honest detail, I describe to God and to
my Silas the course and consequences of
my attempts to live apart from God.
4. Encouraged by my Silas and others, I
develop the daily disciplines of prayer,
study and self-examination. I abandon
self-help, asking God instead to do for
me what I cannot do for myself.
5. I choose to trust the Body of Christ,
weighing the wisdom of my friends
when facing decisions and seeking their
strength when confronted by temptation.
6. When I can do so without injuring
anyone, I make amends for damage I
have caused. If direct amends are
impossible or inadvisable, I demonstrate
my repentance in other ways.
7. I offer myself as a Silas to others. Each
day I ask God for the grace to seek His
kingdom rather than my own, to serve
those He places in my path rather than
simple faith — making no promises, but
merely asking for His aid.
2. I start attending meetings of the Society,
and from its members I select a Silas, a
trustworthy traveling companion for this
stretch of the road.
3. In honest detail, I describe to God and to
my Silas the course and consequences of
my attempts to live apart from God.
4. Encouraged by my Silas and others, I
develop the daily disciplines of prayer,
study and self-examination. I abandon
self-help, asking God instead to do for
me what I cannot do for myself.
5. I choose to trust the Body of Christ,
weighing the wisdom of my friends
when facing decisions and seeking their
strength when confronted by temptation.
6. When I can do so without injuring
anyone, I make amends for damage I
have caused. If direct amends are
impossible or inadvisable, I demonstrate
my repentance in other ways.
7. I offer myself as a Silas to others. Each
day I ask God for the grace to seek His
kingdom rather than my own, to serve
those He places in my path rather than
The Fact
1. God exists. In the timeless mystery of
the Trinity, He is perfectly harmonious,
perfectly whole.
2. God is our Creator. He designed us to
live in eternal harmony with Him and
each other, and to care for the rest of His
creation.
3. Spurning God’s fellowship, we all have
sinned, forfeiting our created place and
losing our spiritual lives.
4. I myself have personally defied God’s
law and rejected His love. Alienation
from Him has produced darkness and
chaos in my life, for which I have often
blamed others.
5. God has continued to love me, even in
my active rebellion, and in Christ has
done everything necessary to restore me
perfectly to Himself.
6. As I accept responsibility for my sin and
find forgiveness in the finished work of
Christ, I experience reconciliation with
God and am progressively restored to
harmony with myself and others.
7. Despite the lingering effects of sin, I am
a restored son of the sovereign Lord,
whose Spirit is at work in my weakness,
displaying His glory and advancing His
A Day of Loneliness = 15 cigs
A number of articles like this one have piqued my interest over the past 6 months. More and more researchers / doctors / clinicians are growing very concerned societally with loneliness. Some call it an epidemic here in the western world. I can certainly relate by personally experiencing the most self-destructive year of my life whilst being friendless back in 2013.
Organizations like Samson Society were created to work against / resist isolation. It's about being intentional and seeking out authentic community. Come join us. If for no other reason than to improve your health.
Organizations like Samson Society were created to work against / resist isolation. It's about being intentional and seeking out authentic community. Come join us. If for no other reason than to improve your health.
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Reservoir
Lakeside Presbyterian Church has been our (Turners) home church exclusively as reformed Christians within the Jackson Metro. It's a place that's local for us (close to home), and therefore not surprisingly, a church that saw fit to provide some of those initial authentic friendships that were microcosmic of the Samson Society experience. These were friendships that showed me to how much of a personal resource real-time support can be.
I approached the session at Lakeside 4 to 5 months in advance of this Samson Society launch back in the summer of 2017. Thankfully, they were very receptive, and soon thereafter, the meetings began on Saturday mornings at 7 AM.
Why so early on a Saturday morning?
Personally, it's convenient for me. Plus, I find that it's a fantastic way to start a weekend.
I approached the session at Lakeside 4 to 5 months in advance of this Samson Society launch back in the summer of 2017. Thankfully, they were very receptive, and soon thereafter, the meetings began on Saturday mornings at 7 AM.
Why so early on a Saturday morning?
Personally, it's convenient for me. Plus, I find that it's a fantastic way to start a weekend.
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