Ms. Rosario Butterfield is one of my favorite people. I heard her speak a few years back at First Presbyterian Church here in Jackson, MS. She's articulate and doesn't shy away from topics that can be quite politically incorrect to argue for / against.
But, when you search Scripture as diligently as she has, with that research in tow, her commentary rings true with much practicality.
My very first authentic friendship with another man - that truly began to point me towards Christ - was one that was very, very long distance. My friend was in Australia and I was here, and we corresponded electronically for about 18 months. His story was strikingly similar to my own, and due to the strength and encouragement our friendship gave me, I began to open up to other Christian men here in the Jackson metro. That opened my eyes to how incredible it was to obtain authentic friendships amongst men - especially men who were already somewhat physically present (church, neighbors, work) within my life.
This truly was a jumping off point for me.
One of the local men I befriended as a result of this newfound freedom was living a particularly thorny existence. There was all kinds of behind the scenes activity complicating things immensely within his life. I knew this immediately as he was brave enough to be absolutely transparent with me. But unfortunately, at that time, there was no Samson Society (at least here locally) for either of us to situate ourselves as Christian brothers within, therefore we clung to each other platonically for support.
Eventually, I unintentionally skewered the friendship as a result of my wanting to bring into our circle other men whom might also walk beside both of us together. In other words, I took the step of disclosing some things about my friend to some of our mutual friends in hopes he would yield to my concern that we simply shouldn't be walking with this much baggage on our own. And to be more specific, these other men were pastors, therefore they were perfectly suited to shore up our community of two - even if it was only from a distance.
Ms. Butterfield walked away from a homosexual lifestyle prior to becoming a Christian. She's written a number of books that chronicle her journey. No doubt her experience there gives her insight into codependency.
I have been involved in our local Samson Society ministry for close to 5 years and have befriended countless men as a result. What gives me resolve and peace of mind more than anything else is knowing firsthand how unworkable long-term co-dependent friendships really are due to the fact that I've tried to make them work. What I've found is men need a community of men. Jesus gathered his disciples, and they walked together. Yes, there were certainly his favorites who were in on some matters that others weren't, but overall, it wasn't Jesus and one or two other men - all the time.
I really, really like this model from a pragmatic standpoint, and find much peace knowing that it's scriptural. The icing on the cake is the fact that Samson Society falls in line with that model perfectly.
Lagniappe
No comments:
Post a Comment