HAPPY EASTER 2024!
Sunday, March 31, 2024
Friday, March 29, 2024
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Wednesday, March 20, 2024
"The No Bull Briefing" - March 2024
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Monday, March 18, 2024
Thursday, March 14, 2024
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
What Is A Silas?
Here is what our experience tells us: You can get sober from anything going to meetings, but you can’t stay sober just going to meetings. That’s why, in the end, it isn’t even about the meetings. The meetings are a portal into the brotherhood. Samson really lives BETWEEN the meetings in relationships, conversations, friendships. Christianity, properly understood, is a team sport, not an individual event. We’ve been failing because we’ve been playing the wrong game! If we play 1-on-1 against a superior opponent, we will fail.
The lead person on your team we call a Silas. He is the one you are in regular communication with. There is an element of accountability, but it is not focused on sin management. If I just focus on the behavior, I run the risk of mastering that specific behavior and becoming a self-righteous Pharisee. Instead, I give another person (my Silas) real-time access to my whole life. What I’m feeling, thinking, doing, and thinking of doing.My Silas is not an expert. He is a guy on the same road walking the same direction. But when it comes to my life, he has an advantage over me – he’s not in it! That gives him a perspective on my life that I don’t have. There are whole parts of my life that I can’t see because I’m inside it. Like trying to read the label from inside the bottle.Here are some of the things my Silas does:- He gets to know my story.- He remembers the things I tend to forget.- He asks the questions I tend to avoid.- He notices patterns I don’t see.- He reminds me who I really am.You are not imposing on him. He gets as much out of the relationship as you do. He needs you to call him. Everyone needs a few moments each day to get out of their own head and focus on another person.Tuesday, March 12, 2024
Hi Mate! (Reciprocal Mover & Shaker)
Sledge was his Internet pseudonym. It didn't take but just a few days before he divulged his real name, Scott, to me. Scott was a mover & shaker. Brilliant, creative, funny and full of hope and joy. And what made our friendship truly unique was his nationality. Scott was Australian, having lived in Brisbane all of his life.
We became fast friends thanks to "Yahoo! Groups" back around 2008. I'd posted a couple of sentences within a group dubbed G0YS or somesuch, and my post clearly stated my intentionality towards making a friend who could relate to my situation.
Within 24 hours, he responded. We were the same age, evangelical Christians, both same-sex attracted & married to wonderful women with multiple young children.
And though Scott was living (& had been for some time) a double-life (his wife wasn't privy to his sexuality), he found in Rob someone who was living proof that there was another way.
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Yet, I wasn't cognizant of any of this. I'd made that post in desperation. Having never met another man who shared my story, here in Mississippi or otherwise, I was fast approaching making some very poor choices / compromises relative to the faithfulness I'd owned up to via my (then) 11-year-old marriage vows.
Meeting Scott was like a dream come true. I walked on air for months afterwards, and before long, he was telling me he loved me at the end of each phone call / email.
I'd never had another man speak those words to me.
It was surreal, and it meant so much for such a time as that.
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My friendship with Scott soon propelled me to open up about my sexuality with local men. Namely men within the pastorate. And surprisingly, it was well received. "In-person" friendships developed overnight, and from there, I found myself well positioned to truly begin discussing / writing about my issue with gay porn. This was a critical step for Rob that I believe fell directly in line with God's will.
All the while, Scott and I began growing apart, and much of it had to do with his unwillingness to open up to local Aussies regarding his sexuality. I believe too, whilst looking back, that he absolutely (still) enjoyed chronicling his digital travails (online) searching for (illicit) "fun" in the form of "Sledge".
It's important to know too that Scott wasn't completely opposed to normalizing same-sex relationships that involved physical intimacy whereas I disagreed wholeheartedly therein. His position was founded in both sympathies combined with a very liberal / libertarian view of society at large.
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The day that I told Scott (via email) that I was needing a sabbatical from our friendship, he replied - at length - almost immediately. It was such the beautiful sendoff that was full of tremendous grace. From there, I deleted every digital exchange we'd made and moved forward with a thankful heart.
I knew one year sans communication between us would pulverize our relationship, but I was willing to go forward with that knowing that I had become his crutch more than anything else.
It had quickly become apparent to me that one-on-one friendships like the one I had developed with Scott grow surprisingly fast but can also develop their own kind of implied loneliness due to their pseudo co-dependency therein.
After our formal decoupling, my friendships with local men continued to expand / thrive. In fact, I found my first "Silas" just one year or so later. And that relationship sprung forth from both of our individual desires for sanctification (primarily from compulsive sexual sin).
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Fast forward sixteen years to today.
This past January an Aussie appeared within one of the Zoom thumbnails during just another "Brain Changers" Samson Society meeting. And wouldn't you know it, but he too was - no doubt - a mover & shaker. Brilliant, creative, funny and full of hope and joy.
Sound familiar?
This time though, my new Aussie friend is from Perth. I remembered Perth because Scott's best friend lived there (she was an architect).
What's comforting to me regarding this new platonic opportunity is how much I distinctly remember learning from my long, long-distance friendship with Scott all those years ago. As such, I have to wonder, what's God got in store for me now, taking my newfound friend into consideration?
There's something magical about befriending someone from Australia. I mean, it's just cool. But especially so seeing the similarities between the past and the present.
I'm hopeful this one outlasts what Scott and I so enjoyed for those +/-18 months. I'm thinking there's a good chance it will, taking into consideration the baked in Samson community that surrounds us both, combined with the relational seasoning that's occurred within me, in large part due to my involvement within Samson Society.
Sunday, March 10, 2024
Thursday, March 7, 2024
Mutilated Genitalia (Certification Of Merit?)
Things have changed within the "mainstream" ("higher-end" production value) gay porn landscape.
When I first gained access to the www, back in 1998, I was immediately transfixed via the anabolic-steroid enhanced bodybuilders, spray-tanned and posing in all of their naked glory. And it was their bodies, photographed completely naked, that stood out. I'd seen plenty of bodybuilders / fitness models photographed semi-nude (newsstand) but nothing like this. These models had no doubt seen the monetary gain in shedding what little clothing they had left, and many of them went on to partake in "gay for pay" roles that, no doubt, brandished them a sizable payday.
Let me provide some commentary regarding that last sentence.
"Gay for pay" consists of heterosexual men who're willing to engage within gay sex (solo masturbation scenes, homosexual fellatio and / or homosexual sodomy scenes) onscreen so long as the profit margin is to their heterosexual liking.
As such, with the properly prescribed erectile dysfunction medication within their systems, these bodybuilders were off and coming (no matter their sexual orientation)!
And obviously, the audience was there to consume these images / videos (like me) due to the unbelievable vision of it all. Despite the fact that all of us consumers knew - deep down - that everything we were watching was fictionalized. In other words, none of these beautiful men were actually sexually aroused by any of these other men. Instead, wet vaginas and beautiful breasts combined with a slender / hourglass feminine figure is what they truly desired. It's just that didn't pay nearly as well.
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Fast forward to 2024.
Today, gay porn seems to now fall in line with gay for gay. As such, these videos consist of actual gay men having intensely authentic gay sex (solo masturbation scenes, homosexual fellatio and / or homosexual sodomy scenes) on camera.
Though prescription meds are certainly still a go-to as erectile insurance, much of what you see today within these videos is legitimate lust between two men. This represents a 180-degree about face from content that's decades old.
And many of these men aren't vying for recognition as anabolic-steroid enhanced bodybuilders. Not at all. And that's due to the fact that a sizable number of them are outright physically beautiful men who're simply in tiptop (natural) shape.
So, what's behind this change?
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The Internet is what's brought the same-sex attracted male into community and that community has demanded normalization (zero bias) through and through. And it's achieved this primarily by normalizing gay sex. Prior to the Internet, the tiny minority of same-sex attracted people were confined to wherever they found themselves on planet Earth. As such, the notion of sodomy (or any other form of same-sex sex) only served to (mostly) disgust mainstream culture.
Today's (20–30-year-old) gay porn model has been reared online. Hence, they're living homosexual lives that are as mainstream as apple pie. Gay sex equates to hetero sex equates to gay sex equates to hetero sex. That's how they've been taught to see our world.
Gay men typically seek out multiple sex partners in line with their typical modus operandi. Monogamy isn't usually of interest to them. This is a fact. By definition, porn is anchored in the expectation of actors engaging with countless sex partners.
What better candidate is there then for gay porn than naturally great looking, same sex attracted men who've been brought up into this digital age? Gay sex equates to hetero sex equates to gay sex equates to hetero sex.
There's none better. Yet, I would argue, witnessing "the real thing" versus the fantastical from decades past, can be jarring. Read on.
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Have you ever seen gay porn models - beautiful, healthy, great looking gay porn models - who're sporting cock piercings? Again, I'm referring to gay porn performers who're extremely handsome, great looking, same-sex attracted men versus creepy looking sadist-types with ink from stem to stern.
I have and it's absolutely shocking to witness.
Do you know what I'm referring to when I type cock piercing?
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Why would I ask this question?
The very existence of cock piercings (and ultimately proliferation of) serves as testimony to just how mainstream homosexual sex has become.
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A man's penis isn't meant to be pierced for any conceivable reason. Not only is it a profoundly unremarkable organ aesthetically (hanging their unassumingly between men's legs), but its anatomical purpose is tied to the most important component of civilization's very existence - reproduction.
The penis isn't like an earlobe which symmetrically frames one's face. Instead, it's a more like a 11th finger that 99% of the time stays "deflated" and stowed.
By having the penis mutilated with a piercing is to not only denigrate its very purpose, but it places tremendous visual emphasis on a portion of a man's body that's purely functional. Not to mention the tremendous health risk involved with this procedure.
But this is obviously not the point of view of gay men. Particularly gay men who're having sex with other gay men onscreen.
And that's what's beginning to become apparent within today's gay porn.
The penis is now the earlobe of the gay porn actor.
There's a lot that's truly fucked up about that. So much so, that it sheds a tremendous amount of light on the today's gay porn industry.
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I so wish I could sit down with some of these men and find out how they came to the place where they're at. I'd like to know what thought process they went through to choose to mutilate their penises via piercings.
And ultimately, I'd love to know of those men who came to that place where they suddenly realized the bill of goods they'd been sold before fleeing for help.
Pray, dear readers, for these men and their salvation. Versus the demise and eternal death that awaits them (& all of us) if we're not rescued from our depraved selves.
February 2024 - NBB Highlights
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