Digital Dicks

Circumcision In Decline Across US - Newsweek

I'm convinced the glamorization (Internet porn) of uncircumcised dicks has played a substantial role in parents choosing to forgo their infant sons going under the knife.  Because Internet porn's consumption is so pervasive, parents today have been exposed to thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of digital dicks of every size, shape, circumcised / uncircumcised. 

I can still recall the first time I saw a digitized photo of an uncircumcised dick (attached to a porn model) via the Internet.  It amounted to one of those, "So that's what that looks like", moments.

I believe in many ways uncircumcised dicks correlate with men who are "wilder, sexier, more sexually virulent".  Sort of like guys with tattoos inked up and down their muscled arms / torsos.  As such, parents who gravitate towards that aura may very well forgo the procedure as a means to christen their little outlaw's future sexual conquests.

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The apostle Paul spoke repeatedly about "circumcision of the heart" in lieu of the original Old Testament sign of the covenant between God and his people, and he did so in order for the Messianic Jews to give their uncircumcised Gentile brethren a break.  

I sure wish Chris Bruno had addressed more of these kinds of pragmatics tied to the penis within his speech (see Lagniappe below) versus staying so very conceptual with his allusions.  

If you think about how special the Israelites were as God's chosen people in tandem with God instructing Abraham (the father of the Israelites) on how to skillfully re-shape the head of the penis surgically to appear visually completely different, and you do this whilst examining the physiological benefits of circumcision, those two things themselves serve as quite compelling rationale.

But if you also consider how God's law indicted men who behaved as animals.  Particularly from the standpoint of sexual behavior.  And therein, how circumcision seemingly "humanizes" the dick (especially whilst flaccid) creating a sharp contrast to one that belongs to any other male mammal.

Why would you not circumcise?    

Lagniappe

I Don't Want To Be Like You / "Can I Truly Respect This Guy?"

Dreaming about my past work as an architect (intern & eventually licensed pro) between '96 and '06 (private sector job) happens often.  And these dreams are so vivid that whilst waking up, I'm so very relieved to no longer bear the burdens I once did (though I really do enjoy the heady emotions brought on by the fantastical revisit).

At that time ('96-'06), I was (almost) fresh out of college, and having never met an architect that I truly wished to emulate / look up to (high school / college experience or otherwise), I gravitated towards the man who hired me for such a time as that.   

He was a decade my senior, though due to our collective youth, still quite young (especially to be a partner within a firm).  

We hit it off immediately, and working under him was a joy.  Not to mention the projects he assigned me to design were challenging and fulfilling to work on.

Eventually though, I grew frustrated with my boss.  Especially as it pertained to who he'd chosen to align himself with (pro relations / spouse).  This mounting bad taste in my mouth only soured further as I couldn't help but observe his personal modus operandi closely (due to proximity).

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My best friend from college also worked at this firm.  In fact, he'd been there just one month prior to Rob coming onboard.  This man was a weird one (what architect isn't?) but overall, no weirder than the colleagues he was now sharing an (branch) office with (I worked in the much larger, main office).  Nonetheless, the original branch office clan of three (two minions and one partner who were there prior to my best friend and I being hired) refused to give much of any respect to my friend.  In essence, he was being singled out and mistreated.

As a result, my friend threw in the towel, doing so once he reached a point of no return.  This occurred around '00 (both of us hadn't been licensed as architects too long).

I remember going to my aforementioned architect boss, there in our main office, on behalf of my friend's situational plight (well in advance of his sudden resignation), only to receive a very glib response.  This infuriated me.  For I knew my friend well enough to know that he'd not be able to continue within such a toxic work environment for much longer.   

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I spent many a shared meal with my best friend from college (primarily during our time together in architecture school).  He was also the best man in my wedding (much to my father's chagrin).  During our fourth year at MSU, we'd also lived together amiably in Evans Hall.  As a result of all this, our mutual respect for each other was unwavering.

My friend had been reared in a complicated home, and his adolescent years had been especially tough, but man, he was a hard worker with a very sharp mind.   

On the other hand, he was weird.  Now, if you were to engage with him today (25 years into the future), almost every facet of that weirdness is no more.  But back then, it was a defining attribute, resonating clearly in regard to how he carried himself. 

Honestly, at first, I pitied him.  That was the initial centerpiece of why I served him as a friend.  And when you choose to ever support someone you truly pity (even if for a season), via a longstanding relationship, it's hard to resist defending them reflexively.

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I feel compelled to remind you that I'm a same-sex attracted man, therefore there's a really good chance that you're not in the same boat that I am.  Hence, this likely won't be, going forward, commentary you can relate to.

When I warm up to (platonic) hetero men, I put that much more emphasis on the following question:  "Can I TRULY respect this guy?"

Why?

I'm convinced it's a result of mirroring.  

In other words, I MUST FEEL CONFIDENT IN POTENTIALLY RECEIVING what I'm setting myself up to divvy out in kind.  And for so many men, especially when they get to know Rob, this is not easy to deliver on.  Nonetheless, when it does occur, I have absolutely no issue following suit.

Also, especially when I was a younger man, I was absolutely convinced that obtaining a mentor, who by definition would follow suit with this reciprocal respect, was of paramount importance / significance.

In closing, there're only two men who I can call friend today who've equally (cross pollination) respected Rob, and one of these is my oldest, aforementioned (college) friend.  And yes, I'm pleased to say that he's still architecting (public realm).

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The takeaway:  Because of my boss' refusal to advocate on behalf of my friend, there at his architecture firm, I subconsciously began to emotionally decouple from the profession as a whole.  For as I stated earlier, he had represented, in the flesh, what I might achieve as my end goal.  

Because this internal decoupling was happening of its own accord, when I resigned from his architecture firm in '06, I felt a myriad of disregulated (very confused) emotions.  Hence, during my "private sector retirement reception" (I had chosen to move into the public sector immediately following), I was speechless throughout the event.  This was beyond awkward for everyone in attendance.       

Lastly, I believe these as of late monthly dreamscapes of architecting past are my mind's attempt to make sense ofl that dysregulation.  For I'd put a tremendous amount of hope (& pressure) in the professional relationship I had with that mentor architect.  In essence, I wanted him to demonstrate what I was very, very compelled to instinctively reciprocate.  When that didn't pan out, I became tremendously conflicted internally in light of what he'd come to represent.  So many years of disillusionment followed.  Disillusionment that I had to fight hard against constantly.  Also, I see now that my chronic consumption of Internet porn at work was exacerbated via this disillusionment.

His choice to not advocate on behalf of my closest friend slowly set in motion a new vocational path forward for Rob.  A path that had nothing to do with the ideal he represented.  

That's a sobering reality.

Mutilated Genitalia (Certification Of Merit?)

Things have changed within the "mainstream" ("higher-end" production value) gay porn landscape.  

When I first gained access to the www, back in 1998, I was immediately transfixed via the anabolic-steroid enhanced bodybuilders, spray-tanned and posing in all of their naked glory.  And it was their bodies, photographed completely naked, that stood out.  I'd seen plenty of bodybuilders / fitness models photographed semi-nude (newsstand) but nothing like this.  These models had no doubt seen the monetary gain in shedding what little clothing they had left, and many of them went on to partake in "gay for pay" roles that, no doubt, brandished them a sizable payday.

Let me provide some commentary regarding that last sentence.

"Gay for pay" consists of heterosexual men who're willing to engage within gay sex (solo masturbation scenes, homosexual fellatio and / or homosexual sodomy scenes) onscreen so long as the profit margin is to their heterosexual liking.

As such, with the properly prescribed erectile dysfunction medication within their systems, these bodybuilders were off and coming (no matter their sexual orientation)! 

And obviously, the audience was there to consume these images / videos (like me) due to the unbelievable vision of it all.  Despite the fact that all of us consumers knew - deep down - that everything we were watching was fictionalized.  In other words, none of these beautiful men were actually sexually aroused by any of these other men.  Instead, wet vaginas and beautiful breasts combined with a slender / hourglass feminine figure is what they truly desired.  It's just that didn't pay nearly as well.

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Fast forward to 2024.

Today, gay porn seems to now fall in line with gay for gay.  As such, these videos consist of actual gay men having intensely authentic gay sex (solo masturbation scenes, homosexual fellatio and / or homosexual sodomy scenes) on camera.  

Though prescription meds are certainly still a go-to as erectile insurance, much of what you see today within these videos is legitimate lust between two men.  This represents a 180-degree about face from content that's decades old.  

And many of these men aren't vying for recognition as anabolic-steroid enhanced bodybuilders.  Not at all.  And that's due to the fact that a sizable number of them are outright physically beautiful men who're simply in tiptop (natural) shape.

So, what's behind this change?

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The Internet is what's brought the same-sex attracted male into community and that community has demanded normalization (zero bias) through and through.  And it's achieved this primarily by normalizing gay sex.  Prior to the Internet, the tiny minority of same-sex attracted people were confined to wherever they found themselves on planet Earth.  As such, the notion of sodomy (or any other form of same-sex sex) only served to (mostly) disgust mainstream culture.

Today's (20–30-year-old) gay porn model has been reared online.  Hence, they're living homosexual lives that are as mainstream as apple pie.  Gay sex equates to hetero sex equates to gay sex equates to hetero sex.  That's how they've been taught to see our world.

Gay men typically seek out multiple sex partners in line with their typical modus operandi.  Monogamy isn't usually of interest to them.  This is a fact.  By definition, porn is anchored in the expectation of actors engaging with countless sex partners.  

What better candidate is there then for gay porn than naturally great looking, same sex attracted men who've been brought up into this digital age?  Gay sex equates to hetero sex equates to gay sex equates to hetero sex.

There's none better.  Yet, I would argue, witnessing "the real thing" versus the fantastical from decades past, can be jarring.  Read on.

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Have you ever seen gay porn models - beautiful, healthy, great looking gay porn models - who're sporting cock piercings?  Again, I'm referring to gay porn performers who're extremely handsome, great looking, same-sex attracted men versus creepy looking sadist-types with ink from stem to stern.  

I have and it's absolutely shocking to witness.

Do you know what I'm referring to when I type cock piercing?

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Why would I ask this question?

The very existence of cock piercings (and ultimately proliferation of) serves as testimony to just how mainstream homosexual sex has become.  

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A man's penis isn't meant to be pierced for any conceivable reason.  Not only is it a profoundly unremarkable organ aesthetically (hanging their unassumingly between men's legs), but its anatomical purpose is tied to the most important component of civilization's very existence - reproduction.  

The penis isn't like an earlobe which symmetrically frames one's face.  Instead, it's a more like a 11th finger that 99% of the time stays "deflated" and stowed.  

By having the penis mutilated with a piercing is to not only denigrate its very purpose, but it places tremendous visual emphasis on a portion of a man's body that's purely functional.  Not to mention the tremendous health risk involved with this procedure. 

But this is obviously not the point of view of gay men.  Particularly gay men who're having sex with other gay men onscreen.

And that's what's beginning to become apparent within today's gay porn.

The penis is now the earlobe of the gay porn actor.

There's a lot that's truly fucked up about that.  So much so, that it sheds a tremendous amount of light on the today's gay porn industry.

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I so wish I could sit down with some of these men and find out how they came to the place where they're at.  I'd like to know what thought process they went through to choose to mutilate their penises via piercings.  

And ultimately, I'd love to know of those men who came to that place where they suddenly realized the bill of goods they'd been sold before fleeing for help.

Pray, dear readers, for these men and their salvation.  Versus the demise and eternal death that awaits them (& all of us) if we're not rescued from our depraved selves.

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #19

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #18

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #17

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #16

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #15

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #14

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #13

Yesterday marked the 2nd Anniversary of Ethan's death. I still miss him and wish I could go back and talk to him one more time. 

~S

In Memory of Ethan

February 28, 1991 - October 3, 2021

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #12

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #11

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #10

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

Fool Me Once (Shame On You). Fool Me Twice (Shame On Me). Thrice Me Fool (Shame On Shame).

A lot can happen in two decades.  Gray hair overtakes dark brown.  Roofs get replaced.  As do automobiles.  Minute details related to times past fade into the background, yet the memory of deep-seated hurts remain.

As such, can people who proved their unreliability in the past be trusted twenty years into the future?

As a Christian, this is the wrong question to ask.  Why?  For our very identity is built on transformation via the gospel.  To be more specific (& to mate that word transformation to time), we're being saved (sanctified) day after day after day, therefore we have an obligation to approach others with the same amount of anticipatory potential.  For it is embedded within our very gospel-centric outlook on life.

Now then, the question to ask should be as follows:

Taking into consideration our past hurt / disappointment regarding that person, what can we do to informally promote forgiveness / reconciliation relative to a low-pressure re-approach to connecting (on some level)?

In other words, we don't forget EXACTLY what went down before, yet never lose hope towards pastiche-ing some semblance of a respectful, reset future together.

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We've lived in our small home for almost 23 years.  Within a handful of years after our move-in (we were first-time homebuyers), our 'hood's developer formally decoupled himself (after 3/4 of the 81 homesites had been built upon / occupied) as oligarch over our homeowners' association.  He did this by appointing three (newfound) homeowners as the initial HOA board of directors, one of which was Rob.

As an architect, it made sense for me to fill the role of President, but what I came to realize was how unequipped I was to manage the dynamics between myself and my fellow (voluntary) board members.  For I came into the role as Prez anxious about dealing with homeowners.  That turned out to be the least of my issues.  Instead, it was my Secretary-Treasurer's demanding persona that I ended up losing the most sleep over.

In summary...

My VP was as laid back as a cucumber.  Nothing seemed to ruffle his feathers.  Content was his middle name.  He rarely complained, and only spoke up when issues discussed were of primary interest to him (which wasn't very often).

My Secretary-Treasurer, on the other hand, was combative from the start, and even more opinionated / arrogant than I was!  What gave him an edge (& he knew it) was his intelligence combined with him being ten years my senior (maturation / experience).  

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I have to admit that when it comes to intelligence coupled with curiosity, I'm a sucker for admiration.  That described my Secretary - Treasurer to a tee.  Plus, back then, he was really physically healthy.  Now, keep in mind that I'm describing someone from twenty years ago.  In essence, for a 40-year-old Mississippi man, he had it going on.  I specifically remember complimenting him regarding his physique and him mentioning creatine as his secret weapon.  

I had no idea what creatine was.

I do recall him saying that he and "a friend" regularly strength trained in his friend's garage.  No doubt this was a fastidious regimen.

All in all, he didn't look anything like your typical 40-year-old Mississippi man in 2002, making him that much more intriguing / captivating / intimidating to me.  I felt fortunate, from the outset, to have the opportunity to work with such a unique dude.

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I believe it was during our third year of serving together on the HOA board that I inadvertently caught him (Secretary - Treasurer) embezzling monies from the homeowners' association checking account.  In essence, he was using the debit card attached to the checking account to put gas in his cars.  

At this point within our relationship, things were very tense, and communication, in particular, was practically nonexistent between he and my VP and me.  

His financial situation didn't warrant this crime (which I chose not to report to law enforcement), yet he showed zero remorse whilst confronted.  In fact, in lieu of offering any sort of an apology regarding his actions, he instead regaled me with nonsensical accusation after accusation, all of which ran the gamut from me myself, my wife (who been assisting with filing the HOA tax return), and anything else he could think of that had any inkling of connection to Rob.

Finally, after ten or so minutes of listening to him berate me, he finally relinquished the checkbook / checkcard as my VP and I stood frenchfryed within his breakfast room.  (That truly was a Sunday afternoon I'll never forget!)

I ended up serving as Prez of the HOA board for another 4-5 years sans this man (or really anyone else) serving alongside.  It was a tough road.  Volunteer work like that (if it's done well) takes a toll on one's emotional health.  I learned firsthand that it truly is a thankless job and that you're absolutely not better off managing it alone.

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Now, fast forward to today.

My former Secretary - Treasurer is now 60ish and I'm 51.  I've not served formally on our 'hood's HOA board since 2010, though I do sort of hold a President Emeritus consulting role.  

Unsurprisingly, my former Secretary - Treasurer no longer sports the creatine-enhanced muscular bod, though I must admit, he also doesn't look like the typical early-60s (grossly overweight) Mississippian.  And (strangely to me), he now owns a dog.  As far as I know, he's still married, and his (now adult) only child is likely still living at home (she's mentally handicapped).

How do I know this?

Over the past six months or so, starting out very sporadically, but now once or twice daily, this former volunteer colleague has been walking said dog religiously throughout our tight knit 'hood.  

It's important to keep in mind that I haven't seen this man face-to-face (despite the fact that he & his fam continued to live one street over) in over 17 years.  

As such, our cul-de-sac is one of nine stubby appendages that he ventures down.  And regarding our abode, we've considerably more frontage than most everyone else therein, therefore his opportunity to steal a passing glance is - due to sight lines - unimpeded.  

During the first few times we encountered each other (as he briskly strolled by), I didn't even recognize him.

But then he politely said my name during one of his walk-bys.  

"Hello, Rob."

?!?!?

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In summary, I'm trying to stay focused on the good that came from knowing / volunteering alongside this man - versus the hurt - whilst remembering that I too am not the same man I once was.  

At the same time, I'm leery.  For I never imagined he would have the gumption to show his face again, all these years later, much less make a regular routine of walking by my house.

It's as if he simply cannot get enough of me.  But why?  I'm the one he heaped all that blame on before.  Couldn't he simply choose to not traverse down our cul-de-sac?

This is truly the weirdest blasts from the past I've ever encountered.  

Here's to our respectful future...what might it hold?  I'm very thankful to have this opportunity to reset at this very different stage of life.

What is God calling me to do now relative to this past relationship, particularly from the standpoint of who I was back then versus who I am today?  I've been shaped (re?) by so many circumstances / relational forces (Samson Society, etc.) throughout our time apart.  My outlook therein is dramatically different as a result.

Perhaps his too has experienced similar upgrading.  Will I ever be privy to knowing or will he simply be a regularly scheduled program (he and his pooch) as he traverses his daily route through our 'hood?

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #9

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #8

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #7

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #6

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #5

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #4

Stephen's Note:

The November 14th article that is featured here references Kairos; Ethan went through Kairos in October of 2012, and that is where he and I first met. I served on the weekend that he talks about in this article.

~S 

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It