Friendly Fire

If I could exude one, if not the absolute best development / attribute of being a Samson guy (with the 8-year tenure that I'm honored to hold), it's the mastery of pursuing friendship that I've obtained throughout my time here.  And when I say mastery, I'm talking about higher education-like credentialing.

Starting with the First Baptist Church Jackson Samson group in 2014, and then onto to Grace Crossing.  From there, facilitating the Lakeside Presbyterian Church Samson Society group (+/-4 years), and finally moving to the virtual realm via "Make Thursdays Great Again".  And in between, a multitude of localized (organized by Mr. Don Waller), national (middle TN) and one or two regional Samson Society retreats (organized by Chris and Kris).

Men, men, and more men.  All high-quality Samson guys.  Positioned for me to befriend.  And, oh my goodness, did I ever take advantage of the opportunity.

But the key word here is pursuing.  Mastery of pursuing.  Not friendship itself.  For there's no mastery of that.  Friendship is a constant learning process.

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As a middle-aged man, I'm so pleased to have the resources to pursue friendship.  Let me expound.

There's no greater fear that men harbor than that of rejection.  Keep that in mind as you read on.

I had a Samson brother ask me earlier this week if I knew my enneagram number.  I assured him that I did not.  What I should have referred him to though was my temperament.  That being a textbook introvert.  

Introverts recharge by isolating.  At any point that I'm with other people (that are cognizant of my presence), I'm being drained of my relational energy.  One of the greatest gifts that I might someday obtain is the ability to become invisible.  As an introvert, this would be extraordinarily helpful relative to facilitating a needed recharge.

I can see it now:  "Where'd Rob go?  He was just here."

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I believe overall that we introverts aren't quite as concerned with rejection as our fellow extroverts are, but this hypothesis is built on the notion that extroverts find their recharge whilst being recognized / identified / authenticated within a group.  In essence, if introverts crave the ability to become invisible, extroverts might wish for the ability to be in the spotlight (in order to draw that much more attention to themselves).  

Another keyword cited above is positioned.  Samson guys are well positioned for me to pursue as friends.   

Samson Society works as well as it does due to how horizontal each man has been positioned as broken, needy individuals.  Due to there being zero hierarchy, everyone's on the same plane.  Hence, friendship is encouraged by and between everyone within the same row.  

And that row, typically, resets itself each week as guys return to the meetings, retreats, etc. consistently.  

As an introvert, this provides me with the opportunity to strategize as to how I might approach a potential new friend in lieu of only having a happenstance shot at making a meaningful connection.  

For Rob, it's truly like a subtle dance as week-to-week platonic opportunities present themselves relative to the communal recovery pursuit.

Think of it as low-pressure fun with very little (hard rejection) risk involved therein.  

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But, in closing, rejection does at times occur.  And in a big way.  But, if you're like me, the opportunities within Samson far outweigh the inevitable rejections.   

The win from all this Samsoning is whilst stepping into "the real world" (ha!) outside of Samson Society, I have found my chutzpah to be just as fearlessly friend seeking.  And this applies to all ages.  All because Samson Society has given me - as a man - a distinct portfolio of relational experiences to draw from.  Experiences that are foundational in anchoring my confidence as a pursuer of men - in whatever setting.