Samson guys are often either being threatened by the prospect of their wife divorcing them, or they're in the throes of divorce proceedings themselves. Many of these men are moreso committed to Samson Society because of this, having little to no hope otherwise. For I've never met a Samson guy who's supportive of divorce.
Divorce is an exit strategy. It's also a punishment technique.
Regardless, women who divorce often become deeply jaded / bitter and rightly so. Marriages are designed / sought after to bring long-lasting security for women. When instead there're lies / deceit / cheating / debauchery and so forth, bitterness easily takes root as their bedrock crumbles away.
On the flip side, of course, is the husband's point of view / motivation, many of which profoundly believe their poor choices (leading up to / resulting in the divorce) were fostered by their wife's own personal shortcomings. And this save face lookback narrative can oftentimes be bolstered by couples' therapists / family / friends.
Ultimately, the breakdown between husband / wife is oftentimes due to the marriage becoming no longer a private two-person relationship but instead, a sort of microcosmic communal experience. Now, considering drug / alcohol addiction, criminal activity, or sexual / physical abuse, those experiences can - to some degree - remain "in the marriage" exclusively. Therein warranting divorces that are more private. Many of these situations are simply about survival.
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I mentioned the word punishment at the top of this post.
More and more, I'm becoming convinced that this may be the devilish behind-the-scenes motivator for the majority of women who seek (public) divorces. For divorced men, in western societies, are forever marked as failures, and this label can never be erased.
Women lose less in (western) divorces. Much moreso relative to certain demographics. Emotionally, they're often capable of finding security once again (particularly if they're sexually proficient) as they seek to remarry.
Men value respect more than anything else. A divorced man is a marked man is a less qualified man... You catch my drift.
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My mom cheated on my dad when I was around 10 years old. The adulterous affair occurred between her and her boss, and it was on and off for quite some time. Her boss too was married, yet him residing with his family in Nashville (I believe) perhaps made his poor choices more strategically justifiable.
Her position under this man - sometimes literally - (management role at a weight-loss center in Jackson) compensated her well as a result of her work ethic, poise & striking good looks. Keep in mind that this all occurred during the early '80s, and women overall weren't typically appointed to ANY administrative positions (especially with only a high school diploma to speak of).
As my mother's only child, I watched firsthand how her actions emotionally eviscerated my father. But too, I somewhat pitied her situation (particularly looking back on it as a teen). She'd married (as an 18-year-old expectant mother) an amoeba, yet she had been wooed (as a 28-year-old) by a stallion. In fact, her lover was such the stallion that my own father (my mom's husband) was - to a degree - unabashedly a tepid admirer of this older man in his own sick, twisted way.
I cannot tell you how much money I'd pay to meet this stallion today (assuming he's still alive) in order to know his story firsthand. Not as an admirer in my own right but in order to better understand the dynamics at play, forty years ago.
Nonetheless, I believe my father chose not to divorce my mother because he knew he'd ultimately receive the short end of the deal. Too, it might have very well resulted in my mother obtaining what she'd now had a taste of. That being an immense amount of additional spousal support (women's prized possession).
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Besides experiencing the results (fallout) of adultery on a familial plane, I absolutely became resolved, as a young man, to not grow into an amoeba as my father had. For I'd no desire to ever give anyone who depended on me pause relative to being spineless.
And keep in mind that I wasn't at all motivated as a young man to seek out / identify with the whole marriage paradigm. Yet, even as it related to my friends, this supportive strength became my end goal.
Today, one of the primary attributes I look for in friendship is (reciprocal) strength. To be more specific, I'm referring to strength that's rooted in supporting Rob. As such, I simply don't make assumptions. Instead, I put it to the test. And this takes time and patience which sometimes results in disappointment.
Regarding Samson Society, this approach too applies to the men who I choose as my Silas.
It is weird recognizing the fact that some stallion, who I'll never meet, made such an impact on Rob. An impact caused by so much pain and heartache as a result of his acting on said sexual attraction towards my mother.
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