I had the most eye-opening conversation yesterday. It put so much needed perspective on the affirming power of intercourse for small men. Plus, it deeply impressed upon me how differently I would view intercourse if:
1. I had ever viewed myself as a small man.
2. I'd had frequent, intensely pleasurable intercourse as a boy.
Now, full disclosure. When Rob looks internally, Rob sees a void. Invisible. Most men aren't like Rob. Instead, most men see themselves in comparison to other men, and that has a lot to do with how other men treat them in kind.
For those men who see themselves as physically diminutive, I'm convinced that their sexual prowess can, in their eyes, level the playing field. And I suppose this originates from coitus itself, taken from the standpoint of being allowed / granted the opportunity to participate. And that participation "entrance exam" consisting of an unspoken belief in the small man's credentials therein. In other words, if he's chosen, it's not instinctual (in heat). No, if he's chosen - HE - it's because she CHOOSES all of him to rock her world.
In essence, because "small man's" in fact small (there's no denying that), perhaps there's the belief that his sexual prowess overcompensates / makes up for his stature (in his mind), or to take that a step further, he may even see it as his very own superpower / McGuffin.
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Are strip clubs frequented moreso by small men? And if so, is it because strip clubs denature or strip away the patrons' figurative (everyday) qualities and only leave behind their sexual prowess? What about massage parlors? Both of these places are filled with beautiful, sexy women who're identifying / adjudicating the male patrons discriminately through (one of a handful) the lens of their sexual prowess.
If a stripper feels drawn to small men, that's perfectly okay with him because there's the assumption that her attraction negates / marginalizes his stature and only considers his sexual prowess (holistically).
Where can a small man certainly NOT BE OVERLOOKED within the world of men he inhabits - day in and day out? Certainly not (from his perspective) at church or work or on the golf course / at the gym. Where then?
A world where his unique toolset of sexual prowess equalizes. Especially if his lasered-into-his-brain sex resume points all the way back to his childhood (when he first had intercourse a dozen or so times with his girlfriend on her parents' couch). For he was only sixteen years-old then with a height of 5'-7" and weight of 110 lbs. Hence, he was no doubt small, but seduced into pumping that beautiful thing full of semen over and over and over again. And this girl knew exactly what she wanted from her small boyfriend. AND HE ADORED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
And this is where coitus short-circuited his boy brain, giving his sexuality, as a young man, an elevated, domineering platform (wickedly unhealthy bias) from which to peer down from.
And even now, as a middle-aged man, his sexuality is still on that platform, elevated above everything else. It is the primary identifier of value, worth, and it's directly / primarily linked to small man's relationship with women (by far the most important gender). ALBEIT EVERY SINGLE ATTRACTIVE (TO HIM) WOMAN ON PLANET EARTH. Whether it's his wife, girlfriend, co-worker. Any woman that he's either had intercourse with or senses would be interested - even in the slightest - of having a sexual relationship with small man. For she holds the key to legitimizing him emotionally via her willingness to take part in a sexual exchange.
In the end, this is what draws him again and again back to the strip club / whorehouse / massage parlor / phone sex numbers / emotional affairs. There's a justification there that perfectly synchronizes with his need for feeling loved / accepted in a manner he can interpret.
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Years ago, I met my first small man (by his own definition). And to me, he wouldn't necessarily qualify as such, but he had been a lean, wiry boy and that self-loathing sorta stuck therein. This man was brilliant, hard-working, articulate, but none of those attributes could overwrite / compete introspectively with his "smallness". Every fiber of his being was consistently wrestling with this notion of not measuring up physically. And oh my goodness, did it ever fuel the commiserate hyper-competitive, hyper-critical cynic that he was. He was literally in bondage to himself.
By my standards, his height was certainly normal (well above average), but overall, he definitely was built lean. Not surprisingly, this young man loved John Mayer's music, and of course, had John Mayer been a muscled-up "douchebag" (his words), his opinion of his music would have been decidedly different.
I have to wonder how old Mr. John Mayer was when he was first seduced into pumping that beautiful thing full of semen over and over and over again. Maybe sixteen?
I'm going to be thinking about this all weekend.
I'm so fortunate to have had that dialogue with my small man friend.
All of this is testimony to the confidence inspiring, wretchedly distorting power of coitus.
And btw, this is what our present-day culture presents as the standard for men (he even gives off electrical sparks he's so hot):
Check out the picture-perfect lighting on those waxed pecs / abs / arms. This is what you call depression through entertainment.
& btw, I have a hard time imagining Thor frequenting strip clubs (unless he himself is performing).
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