You are loyal to no one within Samson Society. This is not a fraternity or a men's club. Samson Society isn't a discipleship group or a men's Sunday School class. It is a community of men seeking recovery, and you are responsible for taking full advantage therein relative to your specific recovery.
Both of my former Silases benefited Rob primarily via face-to-face meetings. And (mostly) it wasn't what was said during those junctures. No, it was simply the time spent together. Text-messages, telephone calls, etc. did little for me, though I certainly participated as such. Hence, I'm constrained (relative to meeting my specific needs), and I realize that. I believe this is why my recovery will never likely be, well, recovered. Obviously, there's only so much time available to commune with one's Silas face-to-face (that either he or I can stomach). Especially considering men's typical MO of doing 99% of male-to-male life in groups (3+).
An example of one of the very best "healing" face-to-face "sessions" between my first Silas and I happened in 2016 during the Jackson, Mississippi Samson Society Spring Retreat. And essentially, that "session" was comprised of me spending time with him alone or somewhat alone. During this retreat, we shared a room in the gloriously luxurious vacation home where the retreat was held, and though we only had a few private conversations therein, it was simply being alone with him that really mattered.
Why?
I don't really know. What I do know is it was soothing to be desired enough in that regard. Plus, it provided a counterweight to the ever-present din of the other Samson guys present.
I'm sure that sounds weird, but it's how I've come to understand myself. Likely there's something there related to me being an only child.
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My second Silas was wired similarly to me in this regard (he was also an only child). Hence, our relationship definitely played off of each other, but one thing that was really interesting about him was his sort of secret preference for unplanned face-to-face pursuit. Now, you need to know that this dude planned out every waking hour of his life, and I suppose me interrupting that needily basically gave him permission to throttle back "from the grind" in such a way that was especially acceptable / appreciated / desirable. I'm theorizing here.
I do know that his close proximity (he lived relatively close by) also facilitated these last-minute ("Catch me, I'm falling!") junctures. Having never lived so close to a Silas, the convenience was also positively affirming / comforting.
The only issue here was there were no regularly scheduled junctures, though I didn't recognize it at the time.
But, learn I did.
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Today, I'm involved in the "Make Thursdays Great Again" virtual Samson Society meeting which is made up of an amazing group of 30+ Samson guys, but interestingly enough, my present-day Silas happens to be local.
He and I have met face-to-face on three occasions over the past three months, and during our last rendezvous, I asked that we calendar our next two future junctures (which he agreed to). All-in-all, the plan is to rendezvous at lunch and at a local park (both) once a month. Therefore, about every two weeks is when we're slated to meet.
This too is easily facilitated due to how close in proximity we live to each other.
What's especially curious about how all of this played out is the following: my Silas was only vaguely familiar with Samson Society prior to this past April. Now, you must know that I have known him, as a distant friend, for well over a decade. And, I knew of his struggle with lust because he'd shared it with me at the outset of our relationship (+/-15 years ago). But back then, Samson wasn't an available resource to either of us, and the concept of recovery was irrelevant to either of us.
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Optimize your recovery in two ways: by making the best of opportunities and being assertive relative to the needs that specifically can be addressed (within reason) via your Silas. Do this well by learning, over time, as you relate to various men within this community. Recovery is as much about understanding and reacting to personal dynamics as it is to gaining perspective regarding both where you're at along The Path today and where you're wanting to be.
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