Many years ago, for Rob, the only resource for pornography was printed material that was sold at franchise booksellers. During that particular era of analog smut, I would haunt the Jackson Books-A-Million store in order to purchase my fix every 60 days of so. Now, my go to wasn't typical for men, therefore it was even more difficult for me to step up to that counter and address the clerk for what I knew I shouldn't purchase but in many ways, desperately needed.
I remember one occasion distinctly because this particular clerk had the audacity to mock me after the transaction was complete.
This young black woman chided me by saying "Now, you tell all of your friends to come in here as well and see me."
Who she was referring to were my gay friends. For you see, I had asked to purchase a Playgirl magazine.
-------------------------
I've only known of one black man to attend any Samson Society meetings. I had the privilege of talking with him extensively at one particular after-meeting. He disclosed a lot to me during that time, but one thing that stood out was his revealing to me how he'd been belittled as gay by women he'd dated. And the way this occurred was simply through casual dialogue. The women literally belittled this guy by accusing him of being gay based on what they'd observed of his demeanor / mannerisms over some set period of time. And this was in spite of the fact that he was sexually active with all of these women during their dating relationships.
To return to what happened to me in Books-A-Million, you'll recall, I asked for that Playgirl magazine, and when I did, the clerk heard me speak. Not a whole lot, mind you, but enough for her to hear a man's voice that didn't in the slightest resonate as hyper masculine.
I cannot tell you how many times I've ordered food at a fast-food restaurant by engaging with a black female, and that female immediately smirking in response to both the pitch and inflections of my voice. In fact, most of the time when I'm in McDonald's, I'm intentional about speaking very softly in order to minimize the auditory impact.
-------------------------
Overall, Samson Society is about as gay as it gets despite the fact that it has nothing to do with men being romantically / sexually involved with each other. What I mean by that is Samson Society is first and foremost about building platonic relationships between men that ultimately will provide some semblance of accountability to said men.
I believe many, many men choose to shun men's ministry altogether due to this (including Samson Society).
But I believe black men, in particular, exhibit zero confidence in themselves in this regard, therefore they absolutely will not invest themselves in any semblance of men's ministry out of fear. And that fear is tied directly to their perceived sexuality (by black women).
To me, as a white man, having a black woman attempt to humiliate me by labeling me as gay does little harm in the end. Sure, it's belittling and awkward, but I'm frankly not interested in her view / opinion of Rob. Although, if I was a black man, I do believe, the tables would be turned in her favor.
It is a travesty that Samson Society (as well as most every other men's ministry I've been involved in) is white through and through. Where do black men go for support that in no way, shape or form hints at homosexual feelings / relations (the basketball court / barber shop)? What a paradox black men find themselves dealing with! The one thing that can provide so much healing is off limits from the standpoint of potentially de-masculinizing him under the premise of it appearing homosexual in nature / character.
No comments:
Post a Comment