Marriage, according to Scripture, is about melding two individuals together. Of course, intercourse is a beautiful picture of this, but there's more to it besides what occurs within the marriage bed.
A close Samson friend of mine carries a cellphone provided to him by his employer. This phone is his sole pocket computer, choosing to not supplement it with a personal one. He shared with me that he was having some issues with the cellphone, therefore he sat down with his employer's I.T. personnel for help.
The I.T. staffer asked him why he had an app on the phone titled "Covenant Eyes" which had been given electronic permission to generate a VPN (Virtual Private Network). He replied by telling his colleague that the app was there to serve as a sentinel program, monitoring all of his browsing activity in order to generate weekly content reports that were emailed to his wife / accountability partners.
The I.T. staffer responded by asking my friend, why would you allow that?
Smut is consumed primarily via the World Wide Web, and arguably, the most convenient means to do so is via pocket computers because it's a battery-powered window that you can use wherever you have a cellular / WiFi connection. Therefore, if you're looking to identify the soft underbelly of a man's smut conduits, his pocket computer is it.
So, back to my friend's colleague's question, why would you allow that?
For the same reason (within a marriage) you put a joint checking account in place rather than having individual ones. For the same reason you share a home, and a bed, and rear children together.
Consuming smut impacts marriage. If it's being done behind a spouse's back, I would argue the impact is amplified.
This is no different than consuming smut at home via Pay-Per-View through the cable system prior to paying the monthly bill discreetly, or hiring prostitutes to have sex with you and paying them with cash that's unaccounted for within your marriage.
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My wife is a CPA who owns her own firm which she runs out of our home. Over the past 5 to 6 months, she's been inundated with work. Literally, she's at it day and night, nonstop. Therefore, considering my workload (+/-40 hours per week), I gladly do what I can at home to keep our household in order. Thankfully, our house isn't sizable, and our daughters are old enough to help out tremendously, but there's still an awful lot of yard and house work, not to mention food prep that I must stay in front of. This setup frustrates Angie because she feels constrained by her workload, and at times even despondent over how demanding it is.
For me, as a 46 year old husband, I'm fine with it, even taking it on as a challenge. But, I can tell you that were I 28 and newly married, it would be a different story altogether.
Look back at the title to this blog post and notice the words "Shall Become".
This implies process. And process takes time coupled with supernatural effort.
For my young friend to yield as he did to this process so early on in his marriage is remarkably mature, but arguably much more difficult to execute due to his youth.
Covenant Eyes is a wonderful resource for merging ones into two. Consider using it today, and go about doing whatever you can to promote this "Shall Becoming" within your marriage.
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