The Toxicity Of (Samson Society) Slander & Gossip / Strive To Stay At The Bottom Level Of The Ziggurat Pyramid

This past week I manned a trade show booth at an annual summer convention that caters towards one of the professions my family business (which is where I'm employed) gravitates towards.  I've manned this particular booth (almost always within the same venue) for seven years.

Prior to this annual event, I establish goals for myself relative to the efforts I'm slated to put forth there, and one of those goals for this year had to do with Rob making a professional connection with one - in particular - (out of four) of the gatekeepers of this particular national organization.  This particular gatekeeper is the newest to the group, having been appointed +/-3 years prior, and subsequently, the last one to having a working relationship with Rob.  

But unfortunately, perhaps due to my big mouth, that newly hoped for professional connection (& subsequent goal) didn't come to fruition during the event.  To be more specific, I let a slanderous comment slip immediately prior to the opening reception on Thursday night.  And this comment was relayed to very much the wrong individual (the gatekeeper's employee) at the wrong time.  

Stupid Rob.

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I offer the following truth.

All of us adjudicate others by default.  It's essentially sizing up, and it's especially prevalent (easy to execute) amongst individuals who're - more or less - established within the same plane.  And keep in mind that everything within our culture - as well as the very economic system we reside within - as Americans, is coded within the language of performance-based judgement / rank (which by definition runs counters to the gospel).  Case in point are Samson Society facilitators and how their personas respond to the roles they've volunteered for.  These men, no doubt, are each distinctly different in their approach.  Yet, they've chosen to take on the responsibilities embedded within facilitating which makes them easy targets.

Another facet of being a member of the Samson Society community is warranted, consistent attendance (sometimes many years of attendance) to a particular group(s).  And this can fuel what I call ziggurat (stepped) pyramid judgement - with each level of the pyramid (ascending from bottom to top) representing less and less doubt -  relative to your sizing up of an individual, setting, etc.  And this ziggurat pyramid construction "process" (moving upwards towards a more concretized opinion or point) tends to happen faster / with less effort the older (more experienced) you are (I speak from experience here).  As such, once you reach that pyramid's zenith, one's opinion is no doubt established, and that's when you're probably screwed.  For I've seen firsthand how no man can benefit from Samson Society (or any other horizontal community) when they've figured everything / everyone else out.  As such, to expound on that observation, this personal "triumph" may also result in potential slander ensuing whilst being within that particularly arrogant state of mind (like I was last week at the aforementioned convention).

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Here's another truth.

Tension exists between certain men.  It's inevitable.  And that's not necessarily a negative truth.  Sometimes there's even tension between Samson Society facilitators because, they too are men.  At times, this tension is managed with relational distance coupled with an intentioned reduction in communication.  And I would argue that this tends to be a risky approach due to the fact that solid communication is always, always a key to success relative to relationships, organizations, etc.  Satan will undoubtedly use this easy out to his advantage in weakening the relationship.  

I write all of this primarily for me myself to read.  For I'm no better than any other man at keeping my head clear of judgmental thinking.  One of the primary attributes (character traits) of Mr. Nate Larkin is humility (I'm so fortunate to know him and to have witnessed this personally).  He literally reeks of it.  And as the author / creator of the Samson Society, I continue to bestow much admiration on him because of that particular approach to leading / modeling towards involvement within (how to) the Samson Society community.

In closing, the best way to not commit slander is to steer clear of filling your noggin with judgment about anyone or any group.  And if you cannot cease from doing this, it may be best to remove yourself from the community 'till you mature a bit more within that vein.

For once it's out of your mouth, it's not ever going back.

Lagniappe

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"To Bloom Where You Are Planted" - Finding Peace In The Places Where Life Takes You

 

We Should Bloom Where We Are Planted...

In the video clip above, two friends are standing on a bridge. The character of Lee has been trying to encourage his friend, Griffith, to abandon his family and to leave the state of Mississippi in order to pursue better opportunities. Griffith, rooted firmly into the soil of Mississippi, is very reluctant to leave, and ultimately ends up staying in his beloved Mississippi. This clip is one that has always resonated with me.

When I turned 40 years old last September, it didn't really hit me all that hard. Really, my 40th birthday came and went just another day in my life. It was nothing special, and I had previously requested no parties, accolades, or surprises from my family. Of course, being in the middle of the Covid 19 pandemic help to ensure that any birthday celebrations would be at a minimum. For months prior to my birthday arriving, the thought had been lingering at the back of my mind that I would soon approach 40 years of age, and would soon embark on my 40th journey around the sun. Longevity does not seem to be in my favor, as all four of my grandparents passed away before ever reaching their 90s. My longest living grandfather was 87 when he passed away four years ago, while both of my grandmothers passed away in their 70s. Arriving at my 40th birthday served as a sobering reminder to myself – I am more than likely halfway through living the earthly life that God has blessed me with here. Of course, I very well know that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, and I could very well die at any moment, a victim of any number of maladies. But when I take into consideration that my natural lifespan (Lord willing) is most likely going to be the mid-80s at maximum, it is indeed a sobering thought.

I spent so many years of my life living in anger and denial, repressing things that had happened to me and not knowing how to process those thoughts, or even understanding that I should begin to process those thoughts. Thoughts of guilt, shame, anger, hurt, bitterness, and betrayal; all these thoughts were packed up in the boxes in my attic, and I was determined to never go up in the attic and bring those boxes down or to let anyone else see the contents of those boxes. Being a part of Samson has forced me to make several trips up into the attic began to take the boxes down and go through the pieces – shattered pieces of my life – and look at them and figure out what the heck to do with them. Since becoming involved in Samson back in 2014, I have been on a journey of self-discovery, examination, acceptance, healing, forgiveness, and just allowing myself to be loved by others. It hasn't been an easy path, and there have been many times where I have slid back. But with the help of others and with God, I've made a lot of progress.

Due to the nature of my dad's job, we were very mobile when growing up. Over the course of my K-12 years, I went to any number of schools within three separate school districts. By the time that I arrived in Petal, Mississippi in the summer of 1993, I was shutting down. I was angry, bitter, incredibly hurt, and unable to express myself to anyone. Growing up in a relatively rural area in the 1990s, there was no one to open up to and even if there had been, I certainly would not have known how to even begin to do so. The older that I grew, the harder that my heart grew. By the time I reached the end of my high school years, I was drifting. To intensify an already rough situation, my family dynamics were extremely strained during my 11th to 12th-grade years. At the beginning of my freshman year in college, my dad's job transferred him to Louisiana, and he, my mom, and my younger brother all moved off and left me to attend college in Mississippi. I was not sure what I wanted to do when I got out of high school, but my parents absolutely put their foot down and insisted that I must go to college. Looking back, I think that it would've been a much wiser decision if I had taken a year off between high school and college to work and to just find myself and to just find my way in life. But I didn't.

It is a long story, but straight out of college I was hired by a national corporation that ran the largest store in Grand Canyon National Park on the south rim. Originally, I was set to begin teaching overseas (my college degree was in English) in the fall, and I simply wanted to go out West for the summer just to get away and to experience life someplace other than Mississippi. Little did I know, but when I arrived at the Grand Canyon National Park store, they would like me so much that they put me to work upstairs in the accounting department on a permanent basis. What was intended to be a summer job turned into a two-year gig which found me living at the National Park on a full-time basis. My time there was bittersweet, and I was haunted for so many years upon my return to Mississippi by the experiences that I had out there and some of the things that I had done.

My beautiful bride and I met when we were in college together. We dated for two years in college, then went our separate ways after we graduated from the University. We decided to stay together long-distance while I was in Arizona, though I will be the first to tell you that it is incredibly hard to maintain any type of relationship over a long distance. After two years in Arizona, I received news of my beloved maternal grandmother's failing health and so I made the decision to leave my job in Arizona time back to my home state of Mississippi to start graduate school for my first Master's degree, get married, and spend time with my grandmother. My wife (then fiancée) moved to Clinton, Mississippi in the fall of 2007. We were married that December in 2007, and only intended to be in Clinton for the duration of the time that I was in graduate school.

I had such grandiose plans for our lives – we were going to go to another state (preferably somewhere with less humidity) and live a beautiful life blissfully happy in a place that was anywhere but in Mississippi as most of my other relatives have done. But something really strange happened along the way. We somehow got stuck in a time warp, and it is now 2021 – nearly 14 years later. And guess what? We are still living in Clinton, Mississippi. Not only are we still living in Clinton Mississippi, but we also have a house, a kid, three dogs, and many, many friends here. I was thinking about that the other day. In a mere few weeks, my son is about to start his second-grade experience in elementary school. Even as recently as a few years ago, my wife and I struggled with trying to figure out what in the heck we wanted to do with our lives. While we both have great jobs here, we have family scattered all over the United States. Aside from my mom and dad, we are basically the only ones still here in Mississippi. Well, that and I also have an eccentric great aunt that means the world to me and that we love dearly. During the time that we have been married, we have buried all four grandparents, a great uncle, another great uncle, and my wife's grandmother. So we really do not have that much family left here in Mississippi.

But you know, it really is a funny thing. You don't have to be related by blood in order to be family with people. My wife and I have a wonderful church family that we love dearly, and I have never had a chance to be a part of the same church for more than 13 years. Prior to moving to Clinton, I had never had the opportunity to live for nearly 14 years in one location. My Samson family is here, my friends are here, my job that I love dearly is here, and my church family is here as well.

People knock on Mississippi all the time and say what a horrible place it is to live. But they just don't know. I have lived out West, and I have also had the pleasure of visiting many other states. While the weather here is warm in Mississippi, the people are even warmer. You just don't find the graciousness, kindness, and generosity in a lot of people in other states as you do in the people of Mississippi.

I am 40 years old, and there are still times when I feel like I am stuck in a rut – I have lived in the same house, been married to the same woman, gone to the same church, had the same dog, and lived in the same town for nearly 14 years now. Part of me thinks that it shows a lack of ambition on my part to not want to advance past the confines of Mississippi and find a better life elsewhere. But then it really hit me all of a sudden last year when I hit 40 years old during Covid – it is an absolute blessing! When my wife and I asked our son the other day if he ever wanted to move, he said no, "I love my church, my friends, and my school!" And then I thought to myself – the grass is not always greener and what a wonderful gift it is that God has given me to be able to provide my son with the stability that I did not have when I was growing up. My wife was born in El Paso Texas, the daughter of a high-ranking military official. Although her parents eventually got divorced, she spent her early childhood being bounced around from city to city and she and her brother both have PTSD as a direct result of this. My wife and I directly attribute our respective childhoods as a contributing factor in our hesitancy to move in our adult years.

My wife and I talked a few weeks ago and we both realized that at some point over the past year, we both individually came to the conclusion that this is home. Perhaps there is more money to be made in other states. Perhaps there are better opportunities in other states. Perhaps we have grown complacent and become stuck in a rut. But you know what? That is okay. God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good. He has given me so many opportunities here in Mississippi to continue to pour into others, as well as let others pour into me. The wounds of my childhood have finally begun to heal. The comfort that I feel living here in my house with my beautiful bride, wonderful son, and three annoying dogs is never something that should be taken for granted. Nor is it something that should be seen as a sign that I am stuck in a rut. I heard God say last year very clearly: live where you have been planted my child and enjoy this gift that I have given you while living the life that I have blessed you with.

My wife and I have always loved to travel. These days, we don't travel nearly as much as we did before the days of having a kid, as we are bound by the constraints of full-time jobs, the kid's schedules, dogs, and a household to manage. But we do travel, it is usually to visit relatives in other states. But you know the funny thing? Whenever I am returning to my home in Clinton and I hit the home stretch of road, a huge smile slowly spreads its way across my face and I think to myself "I am home."

I finally understand that whether it's the life I had imagined, I am living the life that God had planned for me in the place he decided to put me. And there, I have found healing.

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Taking Stock Of What Satan Has Done To You & Yours

Anger towards Lucifer (Satan), I have found, can be quite the distiller.  And sure, we all should be generally angry towards him and evil overall.  This generalized approach can serve to provide clarity as to (in opposition) the believability of God's character.  In other words, a sizable number of individuals recognize their need for Christ / comprehend the gospel as an outgrowth of their distinct run-ins with evil (& more often than not, this manifests itself within childhood) either within or outside of themselves.

But what I'm referring to here by saying "taking stock" is specific disgust / vitriol towards the ruler of this world as we know it.  Specifics pertaining to you and yours - both historically and present day - and how / what damage has been wrought.  

Why?  Why embrace that justified anger towards a being we as Christians clearly know is there but we cannot see?

For me, I find it serves to defuse so much of the machinations he's used and continues to use - specifically towards me - relative to his consistent accusations.

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The Bible clearly states that Satan is an accuser, and that he's the ruler of this world during this present age.  But, we also know that Satan is leashed by God due to God's overarching sovereignty and will.  

We know that Satan was one of many fallen angels who were thrown down from heaven as punishment for an attempted insurrection that was centered on the notion that Satan arrogantly considered himself superior to God.  

We know that Satan was the most beautiful of the angels (with no doubt an ego to match).  

The Bible states that Satan is bent on stealing, killing, and destroying, and that he prowls around like a roaring lion anticipating his next victim.

Satan is a spirit (bodiless), therefore he's unable to age or die of natural causes.  

Satan's reign of terror has a definitive endpoint according to God's word during the last of days.

When Jesus ministered during the final three of his 33 years here on Earth (before ascending to heaven), he engaged often with individuals who were possessed by demonic spirits (both singular and plural).  Too, Jesus, prior to the official start of his 3-year ministry (but after he'd been baptized by John the Baptist), engaged directly with Satan during a lengthy (40 days) period of "testing".

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How do we then, take stock, of Satan's wicked influence within our lives?  Here are my recommendations. 

I believe the only way it's truly possible to accomplish this is to humble yourself firstly.  For it's through humility, I believe, that you can see with more clarity behind the "veil" of this emotionally charged existence of ours.  

A humble heart takes the bottom-up approach.  Think of it as observing life whilst lying down at the bottom of a deep swimming pool.  Whilst there, you're cognizant of the weightiness of the water and the pressure differential between you and the surface.  Hence, you're keenly aware of your quite vulnerable "place" within the grand scheme of things.

In short, we can dub it fearful and therefore nonjudgmental observation.

From there, it's all about asking the Holy Spirit to open your eyes, and my recommendation therein is to start with those closest to you (siblings / parents / grandparents / uncles / aunts / friends).  All of which, no doubt, have made a significant impact on you yourself from which love has been borne out of.

The end result is to Listen.  And Look.  And Record.  And from there, experience the slow burn that comes with becoming enlightened to / cognizant of Satan's influential track record.

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A lot of Samson guys use the word "triggers" to describe catalysts for "subversive thinking".  It can be anything that gets them mentally / emotionally off track and headed south.  For me, one of the most powerfully armoring defenses against these unscripted events is one's keen focus on / holistic recollection of Satan's wiles - both personally and familial.  Sort of like a manageable, sobering dread.

Take, for example, viewing Internet porn as an end result (breakaway) of a supposed triggering experience.

As we all know, Internet porn, on the surface is incredibly alluring, beautiful, customizable, and so forth.  But if you take into account all that you've witnessed secondhand via Samson Society (or otherwise) regarding the fallout / destruction Internet porn usage can cause to a Christian man, his family, etc.; this may very well serve as combustible material towards the aforementioned incendiary burn.

Another example and one much more personal.

At least once a year, I stop by to visit an old college friend's gravesite in Louisville, MS.  His death was premature, and more than likely, it was self-inflicted.  His story is desperately tragic, no doubt one of regret and despair as Satan influenced primarily through a massive embracing and wholehearted trust of our entertainment culture.  

And on and on it goes as the bodies seemingly pile up all around (particularly as you approach middle-age).

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In closing, how do we master this taking stock without becoming jaded?

I think the only answer to that is as follows.  In tandem with this measured, curfewed pursuit, staying as hopeful and sure of God's promises towards us as seemingly possible (Bible study / prayer).  Remembering always too his consistently working to save, transform, and redeem us in and through our obedience and faith.  Journaling with this specific focus is an excellent tool to accomplish this.  

And finally, always, always keeping a healthy sense of humor alive about everything (including yourself).  Laughter is a gift from God that works in perfect opposition to the hydration of a callous outlook.  

A bittersweet understanding of life, I believe, is in sync with how Christ modeled God the Father for each of us.  This has been one of my most powerful weapons whilst standing my ground against our greatest enemy.

  

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