Pride is what God hates most. It makes a man unusable to Him. Pride / arrogance can grow out of man's need for respect if he allows his identity to be shaped intrinsically by what he excels at / what ranks him higher up the scale than his peers.
A few years ago, I met an Italian man who was close to my age who was originally from Iowa, at the time living in Birmingham, Alabama by way of Houston, Texas. Of course, his name was Anthony (as all Italian men are).
He and I became fast friends because he was desperate for a friend (literally). We had lunch one day here in Jackson, and he asked me the following question, "How do you make friends?".
I'd never been asked this before, and boy, was I intrigued at where this particular query originated from.
Anthony eventually moved back to Houston, Texas after a short stint here in the deep South. He's unfortunately been out of my life for some time now.
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Many of you who read my writings here know some or all of my story. Suffice to say, I typically utilize a handful of small, everyday objects as visual aids whilst sharing Rob's tale. One of those objects, as of late, is a broken (shattered) hand mirror. That broken mirror represents "The Void" as I've dubbed it, which is what I see when I look back at myself in order to compare who I am within the company of other men.
I argue that most men have a mirror that's not broken as mine is, therefore they're quite capable of taking stock of their own self, and this mirror is what men use as they learn to respect themselves either outside of or within some semblance of male community depending on their circumstances.
Sans a working mirror, men like myself can spend way too much time fixated on other men. Again, for those of you who know my story, you likely can see where this can lead. But too, the reverse can happen when a man becomes fixated on his own reflection.
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A hand mirror is a helpful tool for a man, but it's certainly not meant to be used more often than not. Otherwise, that's when pride can begin to set in.
Anthony eventually shared most of his story with me. The gist of it had to do with him being reared in rural Iowa within a poor family as an overweight kid. He was keenly aware of his body fat because of his mirror. In fact, like many overweight children, (if I remember correctly), he would "camouflage" his build by wearing coats all the time. In college, he dropped the weight prior to taking a long, hard look in his mirror, and man, did he ever like what he'd become!
When I met Anthony, he was enduring military style exercise routines most days (in his basement), and he weighed himself immediately following. These routines he followed online, or he'd purchase DVDs that he would screen over and over again. This same routine had been going on for years and years. He didn't like gyms as he couldn't as easily follow his "Muscle Insanity" (or whatever it was called) routine nearly as easily, therefore instead, he'd isolate himself in his basement night after night after night.
Needless to say, Anthony didn't look like your typical Deep South man. Not at all. As anyone who's from here knows, most middle-aged men from the South don't look their best in their underwear. Anthony, it was obvious to me, would have looked fantastic in nothing but his underwear. He was just that fit. Minimal body fat, olive skin, ripped, refined, chiseled. He was all of that, and he knew it. How his early 40s body endured the endless 24-hour cycle abuse he'd put it through, I'll never know.
I challenged Anthony repeatedly to throw out his bathroom scale, but he wouldn't do it. I told him to throttle back on the exercise regimens, but he'd simply respond by saying he'd consider doing so a month or so into the future.
Anthony loved his reflection too much to ever consider any of this.
One day, he disclosed to me that his goal was to always be the "fittest man in the room".
Why?
To command respect of the inner Anthony. The one who likely still sees an overweight, jacket-weighing boy.
It was like a battle was ongoing within my Italian friend, and what to him felt like justifiable victory, was only fueling pride as he spent more and more time trying to outrun his past self versus making some semblance of peace with it.
When Anthony asked me that question during our lunch, "How do you make friends?, I couldn't help but mention Samson Society. I remember explaining to him how it had impacted my life tremendously. He even agreed to attend a Samson meeting with me if it happened to work with his travel schedule.
Unfortunately, it never did.
Eventually too, I shared my story with Anthony, and it didn't faze him.
It wasn't all that long ago that men like Anthony didn't exist, but today, I see it more and more. I remember reading The Adonis Complex many years ago and being intrigued.
In closing, and in an attempt to circle back to my original statement on pride, I took a serious blow to my pride in 2013 due to a unexpected job loss. The position fit me well on the surface, but personally / spiritually, it proved to be a nightmare. Despite my skillset / credentials being well utilized, no amount of professional mobility could override the intense shame I was experiencing internally. That shame was rooted in personal struggles which extended as far back as puberty, and it only continued to grow more and more sizable with each passing month within that weirdly unresolvable setting. I was one year into my tenure there when it all came to abrupt end. I've touched on that part of my story here. What I learned from that experience is that I would never have obtained the faith I have today had it not been borne out of my healing from that particular trauma. Losing that job, at least in as far as how it was handled (between me and my superiors), felt as if I'd been raped and subsequently impregnated with a massive sense of worthlessness. That experience resulted in PTSD taking root, which I dealt with for +/-18 months. I've never walked through anything more debilitating. Therefore, I celebrate each day that I can look back and thank God for healing my mind of such damage, knowing full well that I will be forever indebted to him for that miracle. Many men never fully recover their hearts from such trauma.
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Beware of staring too long into your mirror (if you're lucky enough to have one that's unbroken), and if you're the kind of guy who has a problem with this, simply force yourself to put it down in order to replace it with a Bible. I recommend starting with the book of James (Jesus' brother).
Monday, May 13, 2019
Saturday, May 11, 2019
It's A Woman's World! [But I'm not a woman.] Thank God for Nate Larkin!
Women are drawn to all manner of things that provide feelings of security. Men are drawn to all manner of things that provide feelings of respect. These two truths are determinants for so much in our world today. They represent the why of how our western culture works.
Within our technologically laden, post-industrialized, free enterprise society, catering to fulfilling women's emotional need for security is the end goal of institutions, corporations, churches, etc. They won't ever admit to this, but it's how they operate.
Years ago, a friend of mine disclosed that his wife chose a particular SUV make / model due to the inclusion of a sizable electronic touchscreen in the dash. The screen displayed maps and had virtual buttons and so forth. There were plenty of lesser models that were just the same size / motivated by the same engine, but it was the illusion of security that the electronics provided that sealed the deal for them. Therefore, they gladly spent in excess of $15K more for this particular model.
I'm convinced the entire SUV craze is an end result of women's need for security. The SUV sits higher up from the road and subsequently feels safer to her and her family due to its size / shape / design. Today, women purchase as much or more automobiles than men, therefore the manufacturers cater to their needs firstly. It's genius of them to do so. If you're as interested as I was earlier this week in seeing Car & Driver's take on the 20 ugliest SUVs, click here.
At this time in history, automobiles (not taking inflation into account) are more expensive than ever due to their SUV scale and all of this integrated tech (hyper convenience / safety). Nevertheless, consumers are not daunted to put down the necessary cash / go into debt for something that feels more and more secure, and the manufacturers + their shareholders are loving it!
Secondly, let's take a looksee at the pocket computer (cellphone).
Who exactly were these devices made for?
Originally, the mobile phone was for security. There's no denying that. But then came the pocket computer (iPhone) that also happened to function as a mobile phone. Today, social media is the primary function of pocket computers. Social media, I would argue, would not have near the global penetration if our planet were only populated with men.
There is nothing technologically that provides more effectively feelings of security than social media. The notion of being connected to a ginormous community of algorithmically vetted individuals (of your "choosing") that's constantly contracting and expanding is the ultimate security safety net. And this community is right at your fingertips 24/7 - 365 days a year 'till you die!
I have friends whose wives spend upwards of 9 hours a day on social media. Now that's meeting some needs!
And lastly, there's religion or parachurch organizations. Both operate similarly.
If women are the target audience, the organization will typically grow. Of course, this should be one of the end goals. Please know too that I'm not saying God isn't using some of these. That's not my point here. My focus here is understanding the target audience whom also happens to play a sizable role in the decision making.
Let's consider two parachurch organizations.
Back in the late '70s, Dr. James Dobson launched his radio ministry, Focus on the Family from southern California. Dobson's ministry skyrocketed in growth across the globe as he wrote books to support his commentary on Biblical family life. Dr. Dobson's demeanor / presentation was (& still is) the epitome of intelligent, stabilizing soothe. That's the best way I know to describe it. He represented the antithesis of a shock jock in every sense of the word. Therefore, women flocked to support his work, and it became a global phenomenon - almost overnight. It was their daily dose of personified Christian security, centered squarely at the western woman needs as well as her perceived needs of her family.
At some point in the past 10 years, Mr. Nate Larkin launched the Samson Society, a ministry for men who are looking for authentic community. In tandem with the launch also came a book, Samson and the Pirate Monks. Nate is intelligent and passionate about building community, but the last thing he seeks to convey to anyone through this ministry, which he started in middle Tennessee, is intelligent, stabilizing soothe. And that's a ubiquitous truth regarding Nate. You'll often hear him talk about how tough his marriage is as of late due to his wife's ongoing medical issues, or he'll mention how needy he truly is (begrudgingly) as it pertains to being within the company of his brothers within Samson. Nate is usually dressed for comfort and not for appearance, with a ballcap on his head. The podcasts that he and Aaron Porter produce are low production resulting in almost accidental-feeling diatribes. Hence, security is absolutely not in anyway shape or form what he's expertly conveying to the masses. Really, in many ways, it's the opposite of that entirely. Therefore, neither Nate himself nor his ministry, the Samson Society, appeals on any level to women-folk, and I would argue that simple truth is why he's garnered the respect that he has as a leader of men.
What an unusually anamolous gift the Samson Society is to men today. May God continue to use it to support men through relational accountability within authentic Christian community!
Within our technologically laden, post-industrialized, free enterprise society, catering to fulfilling women's emotional need for security is the end goal of institutions, corporations, churches, etc. They won't ever admit to this, but it's how they operate.
Years ago, a friend of mine disclosed that his wife chose a particular SUV make / model due to the inclusion of a sizable electronic touchscreen in the dash. The screen displayed maps and had virtual buttons and so forth. There were plenty of lesser models that were just the same size / motivated by the same engine, but it was the illusion of security that the electronics provided that sealed the deal for them. Therefore, they gladly spent in excess of $15K more for this particular model.
I'm convinced the entire SUV craze is an end result of women's need for security. The SUV sits higher up from the road and subsequently feels safer to her and her family due to its size / shape / design. Today, women purchase as much or more automobiles than men, therefore the manufacturers cater to their needs firstly. It's genius of them to do so. If you're as interested as I was earlier this week in seeing Car & Driver's take on the 20 ugliest SUVs, click here.
At this time in history, automobiles (not taking inflation into account) are more expensive than ever due to their SUV scale and all of this integrated tech (hyper convenience / safety). Nevertheless, consumers are not daunted to put down the necessary cash / go into debt for something that feels more and more secure, and the manufacturers + their shareholders are loving it!
Secondly, let's take a looksee at the pocket computer (cellphone).
Who exactly were these devices made for?
Originally, the mobile phone was for security. There's no denying that. But then came the pocket computer (iPhone) that also happened to function as a mobile phone. Today, social media is the primary function of pocket computers. Social media, I would argue, would not have near the global penetration if our planet were only populated with men.
There is nothing technologically that provides more effectively feelings of security than social media. The notion of being connected to a ginormous community of algorithmically vetted individuals (of your "choosing") that's constantly contracting and expanding is the ultimate security safety net. And this community is right at your fingertips 24/7 - 365 days a year 'till you die!
I have friends whose wives spend upwards of 9 hours a day on social media. Now that's meeting some needs!
And lastly, there's religion or parachurch organizations. Both operate similarly.
If women are the target audience, the organization will typically grow. Of course, this should be one of the end goals. Please know too that I'm not saying God isn't using some of these. That's not my point here. My focus here is understanding the target audience whom also happens to play a sizable role in the decision making.
Let's consider two parachurch organizations.
Back in the late '70s, Dr. James Dobson launched his radio ministry, Focus on the Family from southern California. Dobson's ministry skyrocketed in growth across the globe as he wrote books to support his commentary on Biblical family life. Dr. Dobson's demeanor / presentation was (& still is) the epitome of intelligent, stabilizing soothe. That's the best way I know to describe it. He represented the antithesis of a shock jock in every sense of the word. Therefore, women flocked to support his work, and it became a global phenomenon - almost overnight. It was their daily dose of personified Christian security, centered squarely at the western woman needs as well as her perceived needs of her family.
At some point in the past 10 years, Mr. Nate Larkin launched the Samson Society, a ministry for men who are looking for authentic community. In tandem with the launch also came a book, Samson and the Pirate Monks. Nate is intelligent and passionate about building community, but the last thing he seeks to convey to anyone through this ministry, which he started in middle Tennessee, is intelligent, stabilizing soothe. And that's a ubiquitous truth regarding Nate. You'll often hear him talk about how tough his marriage is as of late due to his wife's ongoing medical issues, or he'll mention how needy he truly is (begrudgingly) as it pertains to being within the company of his brothers within Samson. Nate is usually dressed for comfort and not for appearance, with a ballcap on his head. The podcasts that he and Aaron Porter produce are low production resulting in almost accidental-feeling diatribes. Hence, security is absolutely not in anyway shape or form what he's expertly conveying to the masses. Really, in many ways, it's the opposite of that entirely. Therefore, neither Nate himself nor his ministry, the Samson Society, appeals on any level to women-folk, and I would argue that simple truth is why he's garnered the respect that he has as a leader of men.
What an unusually anamolous gift the Samson Society is to men today. May God continue to use it to support men through relational accountability within authentic Christian community!
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
And the Two Shall Become One Flesh
Marriage, according to Scripture, is about melding two individuals together. Of course, intercourse is a beautiful picture of this, but there's more to it besides what occurs within the marriage bed.
A close Samson friend of mine carries a cellphone provided to him by his employer. This phone is his sole pocket computer, choosing to not supplement it with a personal one. He shared with me that he was having some issues with the cellphone, therefore he sat down with his employer's I.T. personnel for help.
The I.T. staffer asked him why he had an app on the phone titled "Covenant Eyes" which had been given electronic permission to generate a VPN (Virtual Private Network). He replied by telling his colleague that the app was there to serve as a sentinel program, monitoring all of his browsing activity in order to generate weekly content reports that were emailed to his wife / accountability partners.
The I.T. staffer responded by asking my friend, why would you allow that?
Smut is consumed primarily via the World Wide Web, and arguably, the most convenient means to do so is via pocket computers because it's a battery-powered window that you can use wherever you have a cellular / WiFi connection. Therefore, if you're looking to identify the soft underbelly of a man's smut conduits, his pocket computer is it.
So, back to my friend's colleague's question, why would you allow that?
For the same reason (within a marriage) you put a joint checking account in place rather than having individual ones. For the same reason you share a home, and a bed, and rear children together.
Consuming smut impacts marriage. If it's being done behind a spouse's back, I would argue the impact is amplified.
This is no different than consuming smut at home via Pay-Per-View through the cable system prior to paying the monthly bill discreetly, or hiring prostitutes to have sex with you and paying them with cash that's unaccounted for within your marriage.
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My wife is a CPA who owns her own firm which she runs out of our home. Over the past 5 to 6 months, she's been inundated with work. Literally, she's at it day and night, nonstop. Therefore, considering my workload (+/-40 hours per week), I gladly do what I can at home to keep our household in order. Thankfully, our house isn't sizable, and our daughters are old enough to help out tremendously, but there's still an awful lot of yard and house work, not to mention food prep that I must stay in front of. This setup frustrates Angie because she feels constrained by her workload, and at times even despondent over how demanding it is.
For me, as a 46 year old husband, I'm fine with it, even taking it on as a challenge. But, I can tell you that were I 28 and newly married, it would be a different story altogether.
Look back at the title to this blog post and notice the words "Shall Become".
This implies process. And process takes time coupled with supernatural effort.
For my young friend to yield as he did to this process so early on in his marriage is remarkably mature, but arguably much more difficult to execute due to his youth.
Covenant Eyes is a wonderful resource for merging ones into two. Consider using it today, and go about doing whatever you can to promote this "Shall Becoming" within your marriage.
A close Samson friend of mine carries a cellphone provided to him by his employer. This phone is his sole pocket computer, choosing to not supplement it with a personal one. He shared with me that he was having some issues with the cellphone, therefore he sat down with his employer's I.T. personnel for help.
The I.T. staffer asked him why he had an app on the phone titled "Covenant Eyes" which had been given electronic permission to generate a VPN (Virtual Private Network). He replied by telling his colleague that the app was there to serve as a sentinel program, monitoring all of his browsing activity in order to generate weekly content reports that were emailed to his wife / accountability partners.
The I.T. staffer responded by asking my friend, why would you allow that?
Smut is consumed primarily via the World Wide Web, and arguably, the most convenient means to do so is via pocket computers because it's a battery-powered window that you can use wherever you have a cellular / WiFi connection. Therefore, if you're looking to identify the soft underbelly of a man's smut conduits, his pocket computer is it.
So, back to my friend's colleague's question, why would you allow that?
For the same reason (within a marriage) you put a joint checking account in place rather than having individual ones. For the same reason you share a home, and a bed, and rear children together.
Consuming smut impacts marriage. If it's being done behind a spouse's back, I would argue the impact is amplified.
This is no different than consuming smut at home via Pay-Per-View through the cable system prior to paying the monthly bill discreetly, or hiring prostitutes to have sex with you and paying them with cash that's unaccounted for within your marriage.
-------------------------
My wife is a CPA who owns her own firm which she runs out of our home. Over the past 5 to 6 months, she's been inundated with work. Literally, she's at it day and night, nonstop. Therefore, considering my workload (+/-40 hours per week), I gladly do what I can at home to keep our household in order. Thankfully, our house isn't sizable, and our daughters are old enough to help out tremendously, but there's still an awful lot of yard and house work, not to mention food prep that I must stay in front of. This setup frustrates Angie because she feels constrained by her workload, and at times even despondent over how demanding it is.
For me, as a 46 year old husband, I'm fine with it, even taking it on as a challenge. But, I can tell you that were I 28 and newly married, it would be a different story altogether.
Look back at the title to this blog post and notice the words "Shall Become".
This implies process. And process takes time coupled with supernatural effort.
For my young friend to yield as he did to this process so early on in his marriage is remarkably mature, but arguably much more difficult to execute due to his youth.
Covenant Eyes is a wonderful resource for merging ones into two. Consider using it today, and go about doing whatever you can to promote this "Shall Becoming" within your marriage.
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
The Business of Hustling Lust
I saw something today that took me aback.
Throughout my life, I've taken note of Pentecostal women that reside here in Mississippi. They're easy to spot with their long, closely hemmed skirts, no cosmetics, and hair drawn up into a mound on top of their heads. These women are part of a faith that puts a great deal of stock in women looking a certain way, therefore you'll never see them with short haircuts or slacks, much less shorts.
I recall working with a teenage girl in high school who was Pentecostal. The uniform that we were required to wear worked for her except for the slacks. Therefore, she simply wore a long khacki skirt. As a teenage Pentecostal, she did wear her long, curly hair down. And man, did she have beautiful hair!
Today, whilst sitting in McDonald's eating my yogurt parfait, I saw a clearly Pentecostal woman step outside and light up a cigarette. She smoked it right outside the restaurant for about 3 minutes prior to coming back in.
It was surreal. The only thing more bizarre than this would have been observing her light up a joint.
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Take a look at this video from ABC news.
Now you know why Samson Society exists. The business of lust, thanks to digital media, is a money making machine. There's no consideration for collateral damage whatsoever. It's an industry built on exploiting technology and free speech rights in order to cast as wide a net as possible.
Samson Society is here to help you get untangled, once and for all.
Throughout my life, I've taken note of Pentecostal women that reside here in Mississippi. They're easy to spot with their long, closely hemmed skirts, no cosmetics, and hair drawn up into a mound on top of their heads. These women are part of a faith that puts a great deal of stock in women looking a certain way, therefore you'll never see them with short haircuts or slacks, much less shorts.
I recall working with a teenage girl in high school who was Pentecostal. The uniform that we were required to wear worked for her except for the slacks. Therefore, she simply wore a long khacki skirt. As a teenage Pentecostal, she did wear her long, curly hair down. And man, did she have beautiful hair!
Today, whilst sitting in McDonald's eating my yogurt parfait, I saw a clearly Pentecostal woman step outside and light up a cigarette. She smoked it right outside the restaurant for about 3 minutes prior to coming back in.
It was surreal. The only thing more bizarre than this would have been observing her light up a joint.
--------------------------
Take a look at this video from ABC news.
Now you know why Samson Society exists. The business of lust, thanks to digital media, is a money making machine. There's no consideration for collateral damage whatsoever. It's an industry built on exploiting technology and free speech rights in order to cast as wide a net as possible.
Samson Society is here to help you get untangled, once and for all.
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Dirtclod War / The Air of Respect
When I was in middle school, I attended a winter youth (weekend) retreat at a local state park. It had been organized by our church's youth ministry, and taking Mississippi's unpredictable weather into consideration, it wasn't necessarily too cold to spend some of that time out of doors. I remember basking in the winter sunshine that Saturday afternoon with my friends. As the clouds parted, you could see clearly through the bare tree branches all the way to the sky. A group of 6 to 8 of us boys made our way through the woods 'till we found ourselves just far enough away from the camp buildings to do our own thing.
One of the boys within our group wasn't at all a regular attendee of youth activities. I didn't exactly know why but in looking back, I recall that his parents were missionaries overseas, therefore he was likely only with us during this weekend due to their recent furlough. Missionary Boy was considerably taller than the rest of us middle schoolers. Plus, he just seemed anxious to prove himself.
From what I recall, I either helped start or solely initiated a dirtclod war by lobbing a dirtclod towards our now somewhat bisected group. It wasn't like I had any experience with dirtclods, but nonetheless, it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
By this point, our two teams were a considerable distance apart, spread out amongst the trees / dirt mounds. I have no idea why there were mounds of earth where we were, but as you can imagine, that was our source for clods - some of which were as big as softballs - and similarly as hard.
Looking back on this game, I'm none too surprised at my / our stupidity here, but you need to know that I'm an only child, therefore I'd had little opportunity to do stupid with other boys - at least in such a capacity to have learned from it.
Within the first five minutes of our game, out of the blue, I felt the impact of what felt like a sledgehammer up against my skull. Immediately, I put my hand to my forehead and felt the massive goose egg rise from the surface in response. All around me, dirtclods were continuing to fly, but all I could think about was
1. Having to endure the remainder of the retreat with this huge knot visible on my forehead.
2. Whether or not I would suffer permanent brain damage.
3. Whom might be the culprit of this potentially "life-threatening" injury.
At that moment, I identified the culprit. It was Missionary Boy. He was whooping and hollering in delight over his success in striking me like Goliath. From there, I looked down at the ground and recognized the dirtclod that had struck me. Immediately I regretted initiating this stupid game.
In response to my head injury, I stormed away from the group, making my way back to the camp buildings. Both concerns 1 and 2 now took priority over 3. Needless to say, I felt on the surface quite the victim here, especially considering the fact that my assailant was a newcomer, but deep down, I knew I had been at no less risk by taking part.
Eventually, in disgust, I finagled a means to make a discreet exit that afternoon back to our church in Jackson, wanting only to hide my face in shame from anyone within the youth group.
That goose egg remained for a number of days, and my disdain for Missionary Boy carried through for years afterwards.
-------------------------
Bringing a group of men together can elicit the risk of someone getting hurt by cross talk. At times, it can become almost challenging in itself as posturing inevitably occurs and words fly. And, with the right aim, words can make such an impact that men choose then inwardly to back out from the collective completely.
Samson Society meetings bring all sorts of men together. Oftentimes, they only interact once a week in person, therefore it's vital that crosstalk not be allowed. This rule does makes the meeting feel clinical, but without it, there's too much risk. Too, forcing men collectively to apportion an allotted amount of time for each to speak provides order and order brings an air of respectfulness. And respect is our end goal.
Men who come to take part in Samson Society meetings are doing so for their own good. The format is such that there's minimal risk that someone gets hit in the head by a dirtclod. That being said, it does still occur at times, but usually moreso during the after meeting if anywhere at all. To some degree, it's always best to keep one's head down a little, at least 'till you've identified the inevitable Missionary Boy.
One of the boys within our group wasn't at all a regular attendee of youth activities. I didn't exactly know why but in looking back, I recall that his parents were missionaries overseas, therefore he was likely only with us during this weekend due to their recent furlough. Missionary Boy was considerably taller than the rest of us middle schoolers. Plus, he just seemed anxious to prove himself.
From what I recall, I either helped start or solely initiated a dirtclod war by lobbing a dirtclod towards our now somewhat bisected group. It wasn't like I had any experience with dirtclods, but nonetheless, it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
By this point, our two teams were a considerable distance apart, spread out amongst the trees / dirt mounds. I have no idea why there were mounds of earth where we were, but as you can imagine, that was our source for clods - some of which were as big as softballs - and similarly as hard.
Looking back on this game, I'm none too surprised at my / our stupidity here, but you need to know that I'm an only child, therefore I'd had little opportunity to do stupid with other boys - at least in such a capacity to have learned from it.
Within the first five minutes of our game, out of the blue, I felt the impact of what felt like a sledgehammer up against my skull. Immediately, I put my hand to my forehead and felt the massive goose egg rise from the surface in response. All around me, dirtclods were continuing to fly, but all I could think about was
1. Having to endure the remainder of the retreat with this huge knot visible on my forehead.
2. Whether or not I would suffer permanent brain damage.
3. Whom might be the culprit of this potentially "life-threatening" injury.
At that moment, I identified the culprit. It was Missionary Boy. He was whooping and hollering in delight over his success in striking me like Goliath. From there, I looked down at the ground and recognized the dirtclod that had struck me. Immediately I regretted initiating this stupid game.
In response to my head injury, I stormed away from the group, making my way back to the camp buildings. Both concerns 1 and 2 now took priority over 3. Needless to say, I felt on the surface quite the victim here, especially considering the fact that my assailant was a newcomer, but deep down, I knew I had been at no less risk by taking part.
Eventually, in disgust, I finagled a means to make a discreet exit that afternoon back to our church in Jackson, wanting only to hide my face in shame from anyone within the youth group.
That goose egg remained for a number of days, and my disdain for Missionary Boy carried through for years afterwards.
-------------------------
Bringing a group of men together can elicit the risk of someone getting hurt by cross talk. At times, it can become almost challenging in itself as posturing inevitably occurs and words fly. And, with the right aim, words can make such an impact that men choose then inwardly to back out from the collective completely.
Samson Society meetings bring all sorts of men together. Oftentimes, they only interact once a week in person, therefore it's vital that crosstalk not be allowed. This rule does makes the meeting feel clinical, but without it, there's too much risk. Too, forcing men collectively to apportion an allotted amount of time for each to speak provides order and order brings an air of respectfulness. And respect is our end goal.
Men who come to take part in Samson Society meetings are doing so for their own good. The format is such that there's minimal risk that someone gets hit in the head by a dirtclod. That being said, it does still occur at times, but usually moreso during the after meeting if anywhere at all. To some degree, it's always best to keep one's head down a little, at least 'till you've identified the inevitable Missionary Boy.
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
What role should the Christian church play within a man's life?
This question begs another question. That being, why are there so many varieties of Christian churches?
Men come in all varieties, each having distinct personas and temperaments, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. For a Christian man to make a church his own, he must be able to find his place there, and subsequently feel as if he belongs.
So back to the original question.
What role should the Christian church play within a man's life?
Belonging syncs up precisely with community. Therefore, the answer to the original question is centered there. The Christian church he's a member of is a community of his own.
You might argue that beliefs should supercede community, but I would argue that beliefs don't motivate men to invest in their church. It might get them there on Christmas and Easter to take communion, but that's an altogether different relationship.
What I'm referring to here is a weekly attender. A man who brings himself and his family week after week. Therefore, he's at least enduring a service every 7 days and perhaps also attending some mid-week gatherings. In other words, he's hearing the gospel message and hopefully being provoked to commiserate his life towards it.
There are 5 Samson Society meetings in the metro Jackson area. These are exclusive to men, and each is hosted by a Christian church. Therefore, these churches are catering to men who look to / elevate authentic Christian community as important to them.
I think that is awesome!
I'm so proud of Jackson, MS and so thankful for these churches.
Men come in all varieties, each having distinct personas and temperaments, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. For a Christian man to make a church his own, he must be able to find his place there, and subsequently feel as if he belongs.
So back to the original question.
What role should the Christian church play within a man's life?
Belonging syncs up precisely with community. Therefore, the answer to the original question is centered there. The Christian church he's a member of is a community of his own.
You might argue that beliefs should supercede community, but I would argue that beliefs don't motivate men to invest in their church. It might get them there on Christmas and Easter to take communion, but that's an altogether different relationship.
What I'm referring to here is a weekly attender. A man who brings himself and his family week after week. Therefore, he's at least enduring a service every 7 days and perhaps also attending some mid-week gatherings. In other words, he's hearing the gospel message and hopefully being provoked to commiserate his life towards it.
There are 5 Samson Society meetings in the metro Jackson area. These are exclusive to men, and each is hosted by a Christian church. Therefore, these churches are catering to men who look to / elevate authentic Christian community as important to them.
I think that is awesome!
I'm so proud of Jackson, MS and so thankful for these churches.
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Embrace awkward / This is not a fraternity
There's likely never going to be any career building connections within Samson Society because the group of men you will find yourself rubbing shoulders with weekly aren't there to further their ambitions, nor are they there to serve their community or church through that particular venue. It's simply not opportunistic in that regard.
Samson Society is about brokenness. It's men who've often times been crushed by life's circumstances, therefore despite their attempts to fulfill their emotional needs through other means, they've been unsuccessful and from there, their lives have suffered.
Men coming together and admitting that they need a place to be authentic - for at least a few hours a week - results in some very nontraditional dialogue / vibes. And within that setting, everything's kept within strictest confidence.
It may sound like a company of Christian men who are simply the outcasts of the church. Perhaps those who simply can't seem to "fit in" within the traditional setting.
And perhaps there's some truth to that statement.
Nonetheless, every man needs to find his place. Whether it's Samson Society, Sunday School, or Rotary Club, know that you were not created to follow Christ outside of some semblance of community. Community that works to challenge and accept you fully - each time you walk through the door.
Samson Society is about brokenness. It's men who've often times been crushed by life's circumstances, therefore despite their attempts to fulfill their emotional needs through other means, they've been unsuccessful and from there, their lives have suffered.
Men coming together and admitting that they need a place to be authentic - for at least a few hours a week - results in some very nontraditional dialogue / vibes. And within that setting, everything's kept within strictest confidence.
It may sound like a company of Christian men who are simply the outcasts of the church. Perhaps those who simply can't seem to "fit in" within the traditional setting.
And perhaps there's some truth to that statement.
Nonetheless, every man needs to find his place. Whether it's Samson Society, Sunday School, or Rotary Club, know that you were not created to follow Christ outside of some semblance of community. Community that works to challenge and accept you fully - each time you walk through the door.
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