The first teenage girl that became infatuated with young (also teenage) Rob did so primarily via telephone conversations she and I had over the course of a few months. This young, very sweet lady lived with her family in Saltillo, MS. We'd met at a winter concert band event (hosted by a MS IHL) over the course of a weekend. She played clarinet as I did, and me being as articulate as I was, we hit it off. Over time, she lost interest, and this no doubt was accelerated by my unwillingness to frequent her repetitive (to me) invitations to awkwardly rendezvous while she was here in Jackson with her north Mississippi family.
Similarly, another girl (colleague from church) also fell (quite hard) for me thanks to Ma Bell, and this occurred despite the fact that this young lady lived in the Jackson area (near me). At the outset of our relationship, Jean would call me from a local hospital (pay phone) as her parents were there visiting a dying relative (I believe it was her great uncle). And this went on for a number of days / weeks, usually late in the afternoon / early evening. I have no idea what we dialogued about for all those hours on end, but nonetheless, whatever it was, she obviously felt "attended to" enough to keep listening.
Me being an only child typically afforded plenty of opportunity & desire to chat it up with these friendgirls. And this was especially the case during my early high school years (before I was frying more & more Chick-A-Fil during my junior / senior years). Too, all of this made me feel like a nice Christian guy.
Angie and I had a long distance relationship while we were dating, and this occurred during my last year of architecture school at Mississippi State University. While she was residing in Shreveport, LA, we'd chat most nights for hours. I loved having this time with her. It was a nice stopgap in light of the miles between us.
My brother-in-law was such the telephone magnate during his teen years that my in-laws installed a second telephone (land)line within their home just for him. I distinctly remember looking Angie's home phone number up within the telephone directory on a handful of occasions, and always taking note of the indented verbiage that read (directly below): Children's telephone....
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During the 2020 National Samson Society retreat, I had the privilege of sharing a meal with a Samson guy who was real-time resonating from a pivotal personal revelation (as a result of one of the workshop proceedings). This man was in his late-50s / early-60s, and he explained to me how he'd been a victim of exploitation for much of his teen / young adult years. Surprisingly, the predator in this case was his pastor's wife (who was obviously much older than he was at the time), and she did her wooing / predatory work always over the telephone (seductive phone sex). This routine went on through his college years and well beyond 'till he reached his early 30s. Yet, it wasn't 'till that 2020 retreat (decades later) that he recognized her predatory behavior for what it really was - predatory behavior.
During this year's National Samson Society retreat, I re-met another guy (who's closer to my age) who shared much more of his story (we only spoke briefly last year) with me (& a handful of other Samson guys who were in our small group). I vaguely remembered him from last year. Nonetheless, he remembered me, and from there he talked in detail about his longstanding issue with "white knight syndrome".
"White Knight syndrome" is the penchant to rescue the "damsel in distress" and as a result identify tremendously with said rescue, and it seems to take root within some men via childhood trauma.
This guy's glamorized identity as a white knight revolved around an experience he had in middle school involving a close friend of his named Ben. Ben asked for help relative to socializing with his "Australian cousin, Kyra" who was here visiting the states all by her lonesome.
This Samson guy agreed to make the effort to cold call fraternize with this young lady, and eventually this ongoing dialogue lead to seductive phone sex between the two children.
In the end, this Samson guy shockingly discovered that all of this hot and steamy middle school phone sex wasn't actually happening between himself and an Aussie named Kyra. Instead, it had occurred between himself and Ben (his close friend) who'd been posing as Kyra all along.
And this resulted in big time T.R.A.U.M.A.
After hearing this, I worked hard to triangulate between my now much more well acquainted friend and my aforementioned friend from 2020 (decades of phone sex with the pastor's wife), and the Lord facilitated that beautifully. That, in and of itself, was super cool.
Fast forward a bit into my new friend's (from this year's retreat) adult life, and you can see how this traumatic, privately sexualized middle school event (between he and his friend Kyra-Ben) powerfully affirmed / poisoned a distortion that took hold of his identity with a vengeance.
Thanks to social media (hurray for social media!), this white knight found himself reconnecting many years into the future with a (actual) female high school friend. He did not disclose this online juncture to his wife, yet his friendgirl from high school did reveal her newly made (re)connection to her husband.
This now adult friendwoman had a number of personal problems (most of which stemmed from alcohol addiction) that this white knight quickly identified firsthand with great interest and compassion. And despite their being geographically apart from each other (he lived in Nashville, her in Atlanta), they managed to eventually rendezvous and have intercourse.
After this occurred a few times, her husband wised up to it and then the shit hit the fan.
According to this knight, all of that occurred +/-5 years ago. Nonetheless, he divulged that he continues to long (obsess) for this damsel. And he wasn't ashamed to admit to thinking of her everyday.
His knighthood demands that he take covert ganders at her social media pages forlornly. As such, there's the opportunity to affirm his validated fantastical identity (relative to her life's continued travails).
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To circle back to my super chatty brother-in-law, his first wife (who's now deceased due to alcohol poisoning) was his damsel in distress. In fact, her entire family needed rescuing, according to him, therefore he gladly stepped up to the plate. And no doubt, this was a noble cause backed by the purest of intentions, but their situation was far more intrinsically dysfunctional than he could have ever imagined.
Therefore, what resulted was him making a huge mistake that ended in much loss, heartache, and tragedy (as I referenced earlier).
It's important to know that there're few men who've known / experienced as much familial childhood trauma as my brother-in-law (at the hands of his parents).
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I've talked in the past about how women desire men to provide security for them, and in turn, men desire respect. The White Knight syndrome, I believe, finds its root therein within this normal sequence of operations. Especially under the guise of nice guy Christianity.
It's fascinating to me how the White Knight fantasy can be elevated to such an incredibly important emotional plateau for both men and women, all the while finding its roots in what men and women truly want / desire out of romantic relations.
But this seems to be especially true when it involves seduction and intercourse (in the form of fornication / adultery).
Within our culture, women aren't to be relegated to a weaker position in relation to men, yet some vilify their naturally identifiable circumstances to their advantage. And, of course, the genders can be reversed as such with the woman being the one riding the white horse and the man wearing the flowing, pink gown. It's uncommon but no doubt possible.
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There're an awful lot of individuals out there who're well positioned to be rescued. Yet, it's best to remember that some of these will deliver the part with no regard for boundaries, perception or recourse. Their one goal may very well be to seduce and entrap (without them even realizing it).
On the opposing side of that truth is the White Knight. No matter his intentions, he's setting himself up for nothing more than some intense orgasms. And those only last for a few seconds at best.
