A few weekends back, I had lunch with a friend from church as an embarrassingly tardy follow-up. He's one of those (surprisingly cool) middle-aged men who's a contrarian (taking his own upbringing into consideration) relative to his marriage / rearing of his own children.
When he and I dined together initially (pre-pandemic - 2019? - I honestly can't recall exactly), I vaguely remember him chatting a fair amount about his devout Christian mother. He likely mentioned (the embarrassing truth) her marital track record then, but it must have blown past Rob without registering. More than likely, I simply had forgotten about this curiosity. Or perhaps, I felt a pity overflow (for him), and therefore simply refused to allow it to stick. Considering this latter assumption, I cannot underestimate the fact that today, he presents himself as a really nice guy who simply found himself (as a boy) within the line of fire as a result of his mother's issues.
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I have a deceased uncle whose second wife (& mother to three of my cousins) is now married to husband #6 or maybe #7. She's - at present - essentially estranged from some (if not all) of her three children due to this chronic romantic recklessness.
Back in the early '80s, she was repeatedly unfaithful (with her eventual second husband) to my uncle which subsequently resulted in their divorce.
There's a story that I've heard my father (& another deceased uncle - my dad's younger brother) reminisce about relative to some of her infidelity hijinks during this time. It has to do with the two of them accompanying their brother (her then husband) on an "adultery stakeout" in small town Mississippi. The punchline zeroed in on her large breasts stalling her from escaping out of her lover's bathroom window (supposedly topless) in reaction to her husband (my suspecting uncle) banging on the front door.
I recall the first time (+/-15 years ago) I heard my dad and his younger brother awkwardly retell this heartbreaking tale. For everyone knew that it was her husband's punitive - after the fact - physical reaction (he assaulted her) that gave her clear legal credence to ultimately file for divorce (& gain custody of my cousins). From there, their beautiful three boys were gone forever.
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I never really thought about / considered women being compulsive sex consumers until I became involved in Samson Society.
Years ago, a former parishioner at Lakeside Pres was referred to me (as the then facilitator of the Lakeside Pres Samson Society group). He and I had dined casually once prior, but circumstances being what they were now, our second sit-down was not at all as jovial as the first. As a result, he agreed to attend his first (& only) Saturday morning meeting.
The first statement out of his mouth was (during share time): "My wife is a sex addict. That's why I'm here."
That's the one and only time I've ever heard a guy make that statement within all the hundreds and hundreds of Samson meetings I've attended since August of 2014.
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I've known of a few older Samson guys who've married much younger (& understandably hornier) women. Youth = vitality (particularly as it relates to libido).
But that's not what I'm attempting to address here. This has more to do with women who've allowed sex to become perpetually disproportioned relative to its influence / relevance within a romantic relationship. And what makes this so weird to wrap one's brain around has to do with how the majority of women approach sex overall.
Sexual activity for a woman is 99% of the time rooted in the notion of security. Even if it's an illusion or fantasy.
Women participate in intercourse believing for those few minutes that their lover is their "knight in shining armor". It's a powerfully securing experience for them that promulgates feminine orgasm. Anatomically, with men "going into" women with their penises, the act itself demonstrates this consensual act. Otherwise, it's rape / assault.
As such, sex for women is never cheap because their heart (either literally or fantastically) is involved each and every time it occurs.
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But there are those women - no doubt - who're moreso like (some) men regarding sexual perspective. Hence, it has become a methodology or technique to control / use / abuse, and as such, they themselves see no need for being "protected" / "heart connected" by / to their lover. Instead, it's simply a pleasurable experience that satiates their horniness for such a time as that. And this drives them onward, brandishing their seductiveness to whomever they wish to use within their orbit.
To me, this is an ugly description, but especially so if it happens to be your momma. Yuck.
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In closing, when I worked at Delta State University in 2013, I had the good fortune of befriending one of my employees - to the degree that I circumstantially (conflict of interest) could. He was an absolutely beautiful (physically & emotionally) pagan man with such a sweet spirit. I was so fortunate to know him for those fast-moving twelve months.
What truly drew us together was him choosing to (reluctantly) answer my questions about his upbringing there in the Mississippi Delta. And part of that commentary inevitably centered on his mother.
This man had no issue labeling her a "whore". This was shocking to hear, but nevertheless, he described how pervasive her routine was at bedding men throughout the impoverished region during his growing up years.
I imagine, taking his physical appearance into consideration, that she likely had been equally as attractive in her own right.
After Rob was fired from that institution in September of 2013, Angie and I did share one last meal with my work friend and his wife. Afterwards, he and I sat out on his patio, and I awkwardly shared my story (to the best of my ability at the time).
From there, we quickly lost touch as our family returned to the Jackson Metro.
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The Bible addresses the women I'm attempting to describe here. One of the most famous is actually within the lineage (bloodline) of Jesus (she was a prostitute).
I know so little about what promulgates women like this, yet I've seen firsthand the tremendous suffering / shame their own sexual brokenness can cause. It brings me pause, furthering my respect for men who carry this matriarchal legacy with them - day after day.
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