I learned firsthand from Silas 2.0 how critical it is for me to connect (relational accountability) with men who're like me but who also embody portions of my ideal (masculine archetype).
Here are some specifics:
Silas 2.0 embodied a small-town Mississippi vernacular. Being reared therein, his thick southern drawl readily confirmed his upbringing. My roots are somewhat similar, having all my people within the Mississippi Delta town of Belzoni (in spite of the fact that I primarily grew up in the suburbs of Jackson). And for the record, all of these men sound(ed) like Barney Fife when they speak.
Silas 2.0 dedicated himself to physical fitness in order to maximize his sex appeal. This is by no means the norm for Mississippi men. Most are only involved in fitness regimens (if at all) in order to combat their many other unhealthy habits (drinking, overeating, sedentary lifestyle). This was not the case for Silas 2.0. His secondary / collegiate sports experience laid the groundwork relative to his dedication to fitness (as well as his good looks), but unlike so many Mississippi men, it no doubt carried forward into adulthood. I would be shocked to ever see Silas 2.0 not in peak physical condition, whether he's in his early 40s, 50s & beyond.
I too am dedicated to fitness for vanity's sake. Though I wasn't athletic in school, I came to quickly appreciate how it could substantially improve my appearance once I dove in (& established a clear-cut, longstanding routine in my mid-30s).
I've never grown a substantial, statement-making beard and no one (except my drug addicted uncle) within my family of men has either. Silas 2.0 at times had a very short, cleanly trimmed beard, but for the most part, it wasn't there permanently. A beard to me is like a partial mask, and I don't like masks (on myself or others).
Silas 2.0 spoke deeply with a baritone timbre that was impossible to miss. What a dominating voice he had! Because he was as chatty as he was, I always had the pleasure of listening to lots of it (in spite of my ears bleeding at times).
My voice is very unique. I've grown to like its uniqueness (standout), but I much prefer listening to baritone voices like Silas 2.0 had. In fact, they're one of my most favorite things in this life.
-------------------------
As you progress through your recovery, you're going to have the opportunity to learn an awful lot about yourself, how influenced you can / cannot be & why via your relationship with your Silas(es). Over time, that knowledge - inevitably - is going to impact / optimize your choice(s) for future Silases (both consciously and unconsciously).
Silas 1.0, for Rob, was all about me learning how to recover alongside a Silas (process). But he and I were quite different overall. So much so that it didn't take long for me to realize that we'd eventually grow apart (which we most certainly did) no matter how much we invested in each other.
I still have a lovely photo of Silas 1.0 and I (from 2016) next to my monitor on my desk at work. It serves as a reminder of the importance of that very first Samson Society Silas relationship and how groundbreaking it was.
As a sidenote, I have zero remaining photos of Silas 2.0. Instead, my focus has now turned to men who're currently supporting me in kind. In so many ways, it's through images of these that I can best look back and see Silas 2.0 and all the goodness our relationship represents to me both then and now.
-------------------------
In closing, there's one other ideal / attribute for Rob that's manifested itself fairly consistently within my Silas relationships, and that is pursuit. As strange as it may sound, I've never had to ask a Samson guy to be my Silas. Instead, he's (these aforementioned Samson men) in essence pursued me. In fact, Silas 2.0 was bold enough to actually ask me "Do you have a Silas?" out of concern.
How has this pursuit manifested itself?
Through service (towards these men). Lots and lots of service. That combined with intuition helps tremendously.
What goes around comes around. This is moreso true within Samson Society than within any other ministry I've ever been a part of.
No comments:
Post a Comment