Weekly meetings available to you are as follows:

Tuesday at 6:30 PM, Truitt Baptist Church - Pearl. Call Matt Flint at (601) 260-8518 or email him at matthewflint.makes@gmail.com.

Wednesday at 6:00 PM, First Baptist Church Jackson - Summit Counseling Suite - 431 North State St. Jackson. Call Don Waller at 601-946-1290 or email him at don@wallerbros.com.

Monday at 6:30 PM , Vertical Church - 521 Gluckstadt Road Madison, MS 39110. Mr. Roane Hunter, facilitator, LifeWorks Counseling.

Wednesday at 7:00 PM, Crossgates Baptist Church. Brandon Reach out to Matthew Lehman at (601)-214-4077 for further info.

Sunday night at 6:00 PM, Grace Crossing Baptist Church - 598 Yandell Rd. Canton. Call Joe McCalman at 601-201-5608 or email him at cookandnoonie@gmail.com.


Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Being (Intentionally) Groomed

 


Throughout my boyhood ('till I left for college), I had my haircut at this establishment.  It all started when my dad brought me to his barber when I was very small (in this location), and it was that man whom I only recall cutting my hair throughout the late '70s / '80s (about every 6 weeks).

My dad's barber, Slyvester, was tall and handsome with permed, shoulder-length blonde locks (he resembled a blonde-version of Eddie Rabbitt).  He was always drinking herbal teas whilst popping vitamins (I had no idea what either of these were at the time).  Unfailingly, he had the top three buttons undone of his shirts (putting his thick, sandy blonde chest hair on full display).  He definitely looked like a rockstar (in my eyes) in spite of the fact that he leaned much more '70s than '80s.  (I was too young to know otherwise.)  To me, he was simply Slyvester, our barber, and I felt completely comfortable in his presence since he and this shop were so familiar.

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Like many barbers, Slyvester was chatty, and because there were 5-6 barbers who shared this open-air shop, he always kept his voice low to the point of it being a murmur.  

When Slyvester would bring up inappropriate topics (explicit homosexual sex scenes in studio films, finding & subsequently screening discarded gay porn VHS tapes, etc.), I'd absolutely no sense he was FIGURATIVELY grooming me.  Or, perhaps, in order to simply perpetuate arousal (his own).  He was so smooth and confident in how he relayed these weird tidbits of personal info to me (as if I was his confidante / best friend) that I had no idea there was really anything awry ('till much later).  Plus, it was all so very new and exciting!  I remember always coming away intrigued.

Hence, I can speak from personal experience.  This really happened to Rob.  Looking back, as a boy, I was a perfect target for being exploited in this regard due to my naivety / innocence / sense of security.

What eventually tipped me off (during my late teens) as to his abject creepiness had to do with (of all things) my pervasively thick neck hair.  Slyvester began commenting on it (repeatedly) as he'd use his electric trimmers to skillfully remove the yarny mass.  Taking into account how many necks he'd trimmed as a barber, it began to strike me odd that mine was as uniquely hairy as he implied.  (Spotlighting Slyvester's neck hair fetish?)

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Once I moved to Starkville in 1990 (college), I eventually found a local barber (female hair stylist to be exact) and began getting my hair cut there.  As such, my time with Slyvester diminished until eventually it ceased altogether.  As far as I know, my father continued to patronize Slyvester's barber chair for a few years longer until one day I recall him referring to "his new barber" (at this same shop).

What's really scary to me is how vulnerable (impressionable) I was to Slyvester's somewhat frequent yet inappropriate tales / commentary (most of which were biased towards homsex).  

The fact is children aren't equipped to properly adjudicate - for themselves - perpetrators / abusers.  Especially when their parents entrust them to said perps.  Please know that for me, it makes me angry to ruminate on this.  

As such, it's the primary reason Angie and I took extra precautions whilst leaving our children in church nurseries (while we attended Sunday School / worship), and never, ever allowed them to participate in sleepovers (under any circumstances).  From there, we forbade our children from "owning" smartphones 'till they were sixteen years old, and absolutely drew the line relative to their participation in social media of any ilk.  

In closing, with the ubiquity of sexually explicit material online, I urge parents to be that much more vigilant.  There are so many opportunities for children to be exploited, and it can happen right under parents' noses, at their schools, churches, daycares, barber shop.  

Regarding my situation with this barber, it would have made all the difference if my father had asked me firsthand what Sylvester and I dialogued about regularly, and from there, had the curiosity (& interrogation skills) to drill down further relative to drawing out the harrowing details.  Me being the verbose, curious boy I was, I've no doubt I would have appreciated the opportunity to confidently regurgitate what was being whispered routinely into my lowered ears.


Sunday, January 29, 2023

Re-Do This For Me, My Brother, & Let Not My (Or Your) Experience Be Anything Other Than My (Your) Very Own (Part 2)

Part 1 can be found here.

Another Samson Society "Men's Intensive" weekend just wrapped up in rural Holmes County, MS today.  I drove out there this afternoon to retrieve one of the attendees who needed a lift to JAN for a flight out.  This was the exact time of year I attended a "Deer Camp" weekend - at that exact location - back in 2014.  During the few minutes I was there this afternoon, I was able to see firsthand how the compound's many expansions have paid dividends relative bolstering a true sense of place.  There's now a sizable bathhouse, a lovely, covered seating area, and an impressive multi-purpose space (under construction, but very close to completion).  As such, this venue truly is maturing into more of a proper religious retreat center, relative to its amenities and functionality, versus coming across more as a franchise location for the Branch Davidians.  

The Samson guy I chaperoned to JAN was fast asleep within 15 minutes of our car ride out.  His head fell forward firstly, but eventually, he leaned back and snoozed quietly there in the passenger seat.  Today's steady precipitation had saturated the roadways.  As such, my Toyota cocooned his lean, still frame as the wipers repetitively cleared the windshield over the course of the hour drive.  

I couldn't help but be reminded of my own departure from that same place back in February of '14.  As a sort of benediction, the group of +/-30 men had been asked by Mr. Phil Hardin to identify an object to take with us that would serve as a reminder of why we'd come to the retreat.  I hastily chose a Wendy's restaurant kid's cup (litter) and announced (in turn) that it represented my "inner boy" who I was determined to now seek out intentionally.  I distinctly remember nonchalantly discarding that cup upon my return home in reflection of my pessimistic future outlook.  

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What remains in my mind, even after today's revisit, is how out of place that rural Holmes County venue made / makes me feel.  And of course, that's due to the impression it made all those years ago, during a time in my life when I was suffering tremendously.  

That emotional hijacking that Rob was experiencing (due to my September '13 job loss) took every fiber of my being to keep from overwhelming me.  I liken it to a swarm of killer bees that I was constantly having to flee from, yet that I could never completely outrun.  Therefore, I had nothing to spare of myself in regard to gratitude or serendipity.  Hence, I only saw black & white during this suffering.  And it was that polarized outlook which reliably stamped (toxified) my vision of this place permanently. 

And that sucks, but it also speaks to just how hopelessly shitty things were for Rob back then.  

It truly serves me, in a very profound way, as an Ebenezer.

Wednesday, January 25, 2023

Recommended Reading

Turn Down the Noise and Listen to Jesus | Desiring God

Allow me to reminiscence a bit regarding my childhood:

My great grandmother never learned to drive a car, therefore whenever my parents and I would come visit my grandparents (who lived a 1/2 mile north of her), she'd start walking the gravel road to pay a visit in tandem with our own.

She'd know we were fast approaching my grandparents' abode there in rural Humphreys County because we always sped by her house (leaving a sizable cloud of dust behind), and inevitably, she'd be swinging on her front porch in anticipation of our arrival.  (I have no idea why my parents never stopped to offer her a ride, but I suppose it was because they knew she'd refuse it.)

Grandma Ray, as we all called her, lived alone in her dogtrot house for decades.  The time she spent isolated out on that porch swing is hard for me to fathom.  Keep in mind that this was during the late '70s / early '80s, therefore there were no smartphones (w/ wireless earbuds).  And no, she didn't own a Walkman.  

This petite lady lived an immeasurably quiet life which resulted in her being an exceedingly quiet lady.  When she'd eventually arrive at my grandparents' 900 sf rancher (about 15 minutes after we did), she'd sit adjacent to the backdoor, never saying but a few words whilst observing the comradery.

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As an only child, I immensely enjoyed swinging on my family's back porch swing (ranch house in Madison).  On days when the weather was tolerable, I'd plant myself therein, and swing to my heart's content ('till my butt numbed).  Sometimes I'd sing to myself, but mostly I'd fall inward into my imagination as I allowed the repetitive back & forth movement to become seemingly hypnotic.  

Eventually, after being lassoed in by the gospel in middle school, I began praying.  But it was difficult for me to translate that discipline over to something so casual as the porch swing.  It felt a little too casual.

Whilst looking back, I see clearly now what my great grandmother was doing on her front porch swing there at her dogtrot.  What a wise lady she was.  A leader for sure.  Always pointing towards her purpose as one of my silent advocates.


January 2023 "No Bull Briefing"

 

Celebrate 10 Years of National Samson Gatherings with the Samson Summit!

In celebration of our tenth national event, Samson Society is throwing a party in Texas with The Place We Find Ourselves podcast host Adam Young. 
Adam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with Master degrees in Social Work (Virginia Commonwealth University) and Divinity (Emory University). He currently serves as a Fellow with The Allender Center, and his approach to therapy has been shaped primarily by Dan Allender, Daniel Siegel, Allan Schore, Pat Ogden, and Bessel van der Kolk.
LEARN MORE

New Samson Swag Available!

Light an inspirational candle while you listen to the latest Pirate Monk Podcast on your Samson earbuds before journaling about walking the path of recovery. All possible with items now available in the Samson Swag Store.
CHECK IT OUT

A Week-Long Traveling Retreat in England

Recovery is not a solo activity, nor is it merely a mental one. This retreat is an opportunity for 10 men to walk together for an entire week along ancient paths in rural England, forming bonds, facing challenges, sharing meals and personal experiences.  In the process we will work our way through all seven stages of the Samson Society’s Path, taking time for deliberate work at each stage.   
Space is limited to the first ten men to register.
LEARN MORE

Meeting Host & Co-Host Virtual Training

Do you host or sub a Samson Society meeting? If so, you are invited to join us for a special virtual training session on Saturday, February 4.
Whether you facilitate an in-person or virtual meeting, this FREE training with TrueFace President & CEO Robby Angle will dive into what it means to have the heart of a leader and how you, as the meeting host, can confidently take the community of men who attend the meeting to a deeper, more fulfilling level. 
REGISTER

Support Your Partner's Healing Journey

Invite your wife to attend this year's Sarah Society retreat featuring Fight for Love Ministries founder and podcast host Rosie Makinney. This weekend of soul restoration and encouragement occurs April 14-16, 2023, in Nunnelly, Tennessee at a private lodge.
LEARN MORE

Thank You for Your Generosity!

Thanks to your generosity during our end-of-year matching gift fundraiser we smashed our goal of $50,000! Here's a Pirate Monk fist bump for you!

Are You a Recovery Coach? Let Us Know!

As the Samson Society continues to grow, we are committed to helping men reach higher levels of healing in their journey of recovery. We are wanting to create an in-house directory of recovery coaches for Samson men to use as they seek deeper insight into the barriers and obstacles keeping them from finding freedom.
If you are a licensed recovery coach, please let us know. Email us your contact information, credential information, and any other information such as specialized areas of focus you would like included in this directory.

I Thought of You Today: A Note to Your Silas/Silee

By Andrew
As the day begins, the sun rising above the horizon, the first rays of sunlight brightening the dawning sky, I thought of you today.
You, who are you? You the one who lives in a far away land, so far that when I climb upon the highest hill and there I stand, the only thing of you I see is the invisible heart of a man whose friendship and love I desperately need.
What else is there of you? What do I not know? What should I know as you too, stand on that distant hill looking my way, wondering the same? What else is there of you?
This I know. I wish we stood on closer hills so that in the distance you could see me walking towards you and you the same. In that moment of time we would know, we would see the prospect of time that would bring us together for the renewal of our brotherhood, a kinship born of life’s circumstances.
As I would begin my walk towards the closer hill, my heart would quicken in anticipation. Upon meeting, the questions would continue to be answered one by one, the question, “What else is there of you that you desire to share of yourself?”
We would sit. We would talk. We would stroll through the overgrown path that one once thought of as the one less traveled. It is here that we can ever so carefully unwrap the delicate parts of our hearts that are protected due to past hurts.
Upon entering the clearing of the path less traveled we would find that there is nothing more to ask when questioned, “What else is there of you?” because the time spent sharing our heart, the private, sacred parts of our hearts would have been unveiled to one another. It is here that the life’s roadmap designed by God, would have allowed us each to expose the pain but also, I would like to interject, the beauty that we find in life, in our relationship.
So now that the rays of sunlight fill the sky and the busyness of life carries many to and fro, oblivious to others’ wants and needs, I want to stop long enough to tell you that I thought of you today.

December 2022 Meeting Host & Sub Winner

Thank you Jamey Bennett for hosting the in-person Samson Society of Boca meeting! We would like to give you a one-time 25% discount in the Samson merch store as a thank you for donating your time and talents! Please check your email inbox for your discount code.
Each month we will draw one name, so be sure to complete the host form online every time you host or sub a meeting to be entered in to the drawing. You receive one entry for each time you host or sub during the month.

Regional Retreat Opportunities

Planning a regional Samson retreat? Let us know at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com or drop it on the #upcoming_event channel on Slack so we can help you spread the word!

Monthly Resource Corner

Each month, Samson Society will promote a resource that you may find helpful on your journey. Feel free to share any podcast episodes, blog posts, books, or documentaries that you find enlightening! 
Some of us may be able to pinpoint moments where we experienced harm in our formative years. Others of us may say: “My parents were just doing the best they could,” or “My upbringing wasn’t so bad compared to others’.”
The truth is: We have all experienced hurt, abandonment, or disappointment at the hands of our parents or caretakers, whether it was intentional or not. So much of our beauty and brokenness — so much of what makes us human — is tied to our family of origin. 
How do we begin to engage with the harm we endured? Are we dishonoring our father and mother if we name the hurt we experienced growing up? Should we just “let it go?”
Furthermore, how do we engage the ways in which our families of origin have influenced our stories today? Are we doomed to repeat past patterns in our own lives, our children’s lives, and with future generations?
Join Dr. Dan Allender and Adam Young, LCSW, MDiv, as they discuss the often-unaddressed burdens that adult children bear, how to engage the stories of the past with honor and grace, and how to find relief in order to step into the freedom that God has called us to in our own stories.
WHEN: Thursday, February 23 (Lifetime Access to Recording)
COST: $49
REGISTER

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