My favorite attribute of my oldest daughter is her choosing to be hopeful. She's wired opportunistically / positively, and it's infectious, and this certainly points her in the direction of her forecasting to be as such. When you first meet her, her positive wiring might come across as trite, but it doesn't take long to realize that she's working her grey matter towards being a genuinely hopeful young lady.
This has worked in her favor relationally as a college student, particularly as it pertains to accruing friends. Her cohorts gravitate therein in response to her more (seemingly) adult-like point-of-view (versus the stereotypical pessimistic adolescent).
Our other two daughters are optimists too, though it's most pronounced within our youngest (middle schooler). As such, she's quite the anomaly as a tweenager (having become somewhat of an outlier as a result).
Overall, I'm firmly resolved to thank God for their positive bents versus one that leans negative / pessimistic. That being said, keep in mind that I'm biased in this regard for I too am an overall opportunistic / positive individual. And you can blame my parents for this (they modeled it / passed it down).
-------------------------
A handful of Samson guys that I / I've regularly chat(ted) with aren't the optimistic-types. I actually find this refreshing and uniquely contrastive. But what I am beginning to observe is how demanding their temperament can be relative to them compulsively turning to lust to emotionally placate / regulate.
For an example, I offer the following (this scenario is based on hearsay): Negative feelings encroach in response to doing some run-of-the-mill (psychological) assessment work and from there, reflexively - compulsive sexual sin pacifiers are feverishly grasped at.
This is just one example of a negative (temperament) feedback loop. And frankly, I do believe it's quite a tough one to rewire, particularly as a loner.
-------------------------
All this begs the question: Can a melancholy Samson guy counteract this temperament? More specifically, can he rebel against his emotional instincts long enough for him to choose to drawdown the necessary hope to directly combat his circumstantial kneejerk lustfix? And can this leeching be sustained rhythmically enough - over time - for him to remove himself out his fatalistic rut?
Inquiring Samson minds want to know...
Let's make an attempt at defining what hope is firstly before speculating further.
Hope is a feeling that's earned via intellect (mindfulness, if you will). As such, I believe, it's much harder for dumbass people to experience it in droves. Intellect powers sharp memories (both good and bad). Memory is key to feeling hopeful as it serves as a framework relative to the (potential - in tandem with or opposite to) future.
Compulsive behaviors such as drug / porn use "clog" / "cloud" the brain's synapses (proper thinking ability), and this is akin to making a person dillweed-like. Therein, they lose their proper framework (smarts).
-------------------------
Here's a specific example of how drug-use can steal one's ability to instinctively choose hope.
In 2012, a prominent local (Jackson Metro) attorney's son committed suicide. Now, you must know that I have no reason to not believe wholeheartedly that this boy was also akin to choosing hope (sprungboard off of a positive mindset) as much or more as my aforementioned oldest daughter. He was one of three boys, but unfortunately, he'd turned to both selling and using drugs whilst living / working out west (gap year post high school). His prominent parents, in response to his heart-rending death, chose to take part in a speaking tour where they read his suicide note, indirectly warning audiences across the region of the dangers of drug use (whilst beautifully interweaving "Armor of God" scripture). It was massively courageous on their part to give so freely out of their pain and suffering.
Thank you Taggarts! (Some of my local heroes of the faith.)
One of the most interesting statements their son made within his suicide note had to do with his pre-suicidal mindset. He noted the contrast between how drugs had noticeably diminished his intellect (primarily memory) in light of where he had been (pre-drug use). From there, he renounced any hope of seeing his prior intelligence return. This fatalistic assumption fostered his hopelessness which led to his suicide.
And that was pretty much the gist of his hopeless letter. A letter, again, written by an optimistically tempered, overall positive-minded young man who just happened to make some poor choices relative to drugs.
It's important to note that many professionals believe that chronic porn use can affect the brain similarly, particularly if it's coupled with masturbation.
And that's what makes it and drug use notoriously difficult to see beyond / out of. A number of therapist tagline this the "shame cycle".
-------------------------
Once again:
All this begs the question: Can a melancholy Samson guy counteract this temperament? More specifically, can he rebel against his emotional instincts long enough for him to choose to drawdown the necessary hope to directly combat his circumstantial kneejerk lustfix? And can this leeching be sustained rhythmically enough - over time - for him to remove himself out his fatalistic rut?
Attraction is key. Whether you're within an in-patient facility or working through a recovery program like Samson Society. You must find yourself attracted enough to someone (who's far enough into their own personal sobriety) to trust them with your heart. From there, their hope can transfer to you, effectively counteracting your persistently hopeless state of mind.
What might impede this from happening?
- Sometimes attraction is never given an opportunity because recovery colleagues aren't considered worthwhile enough (up to snuff), or simply the group itself is privately labeled a "freakfest".
- Clinical depression has reduced the man's outlook to nothing but intrusive emotional pain.
What promulgates / perpetuates this attraction process?
- Spending time together on a regular basis.
- Asking really good questions (cross referenced).
All the while being vulnerable.
No comments:
Post a Comment