On Wednesdays, Refill The Bird Bath With Bottled Water Only!

I'm at my most vulnerable relative to entertaining lust-fueled musings (fantasies) whilst lying next to my sweet wife immediately following turning in for the night.  Isn't that weird?  But, it's the truth.  

I have to assume this (today) is due to habit.  Habit formed literally over the course of my lifetime.  For I can vividly remember using this "turn-in bedtime" routine from middle school forward.

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For six years, I was a state of Mississippi government employee, and I loved the work.  But the one thing I quickly learned was how integral procedure is to being a member of a bureaucracy.  Exact procedure.  So much so, in fact, that a sizable portion of your value was directly linked to how adept you were at following procedure to a tee.  

Many years ago, a very noteworthy Christian book was published which detailed a procedure to best manage episodic lust as a God-fearing man.  And, as you might imagine, it became a bestseller.  For who wouldn't want a formula to eradicate lust?  The target audience were men who were wired to resonate with an instinctual bent.  And those Type A's (as I call them), soaked in the advice, and I believe for many of these men, their resolution to lust-fueled fantasies was met.

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For me, I learned early on as a teenager that my penchant for lust was directly linked to a specific purpose-driven need, and 'till that need was met healthily, no amount of procedural hurdles would keep me from it.

And God has provided relative to those needs as I've aged, though not necessarily within the compositional keepings that I would have preferred.

For example, while we lived in Cleveland, MS during the majority of 2013, I had zero friends - either there or back here in Jackson.  And that made for an extremely isolated year.  We were actively involved in our local church, but small group interaction wasn't encouraged.  Too, we were living within a rental house that didn't lend itself to entertaining - at all.

So, I took a heaping dose of reality check during that year.  And God used it to sear into my brain the importance (for me) of relational accountability (through close male friendship).

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In closing, we cannot always have circumstantially what we crave / closely desire relative to intimacy with others (or even God).  But we can take stock of those experiences when we once did have that - in fullness of measure and even overflowing.

Memory can take precedent over present-day reality.  Therefore, this is all the more reason to catalogue experiences and even photograph them.  And from there, display / ruminate on those memories when temptation strikes.

And too, there's something to be said for simply rolling onto one's stomach.