The only lazy friends I've ever grown really close to were ministers, and at the time (+/-10 years ago), one was in vocational dire straits (due to his laziness) in the form of "probation" (via the elders who made up the personnel committee at the church where he was employed). And both of these men weren't at all unwilling to admit to their penchant for laziness whilst seeing it clearly for how stifling it truly was to their respective ministries.
I believe most men who choose to be ministers are wary of the wide girth relative to margin of error that comes baked into the position. That combined with the independence. For ministers don't make much money, and often burnout is inevitable (obviously due to the repetitive workload). Yet, they essentially set their own schedules, and almost instantaneously obtain a measure of respect (once appointed) that can take years to earn within other vocations. Considering all of that though, there are those ministers whose laziness does eventually do them in as poor performances / outcomes crop up over and over again.
That being said, a minister's communal measuring stick - so to speak - is really difficult to gauge, and this is due to the fact that each congregant is unique. With a point of view that's all their own. And this can thwart a lazy ministers' demise, but eventually, with enough bamboozlement, the end will inevitably come.
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The first thing you might find, as an outgrowth to your friendship with this man, is his resentment towards you.
I know that's a tough reality to consider, but it's true.
I'm assuming you've got your shit together and you care for this guy, therefore hopefully you're calling it like you see it.
Therefore again, he may very well grow resentful.
Yet, through all this criticism, he just may remain faithful to your friendship. And regarding that continued commitment, I have no clue as to what specifically might propel it forward (though I will personally speculate a little farther in - speaking from personal experience).
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Underachievers need defining.
Here we go.
This is a person who's concept of himself is in no way based on measurable performance. They're in so many ways, the exact opposite of the high-performance (overachiever) guy that I detailed within my last post.
Underachievers are intelligent and articulate; they just don't steward / rank those values as most men do. Instead, their intelligence / ability to articulate may just be honed in on their "giftedness" towards performance "off the cuff" with little to no prep work. And I realize you're liking chuckling at that last sentence, but I'm serious when I write that. I've witnessed it firsthand.
Have you ever heard the word maverick? A maverick is an unorthodox or independently-minded person. Some underachievers anchor much of their lackluster behavior under the umbrella of this particular identity, and this may give them license to NOT take part in the necessary prep work that you and I might consider obligatory (to do a job / task justifiably well &/or meet the expectations of others).
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As we did before, let's take a looksee at roots. What might be the origin story (prequel) of underachievers?
I'm speculating here, but based on what I've observed, some emulate their same sex parent's (dad) underachieving approach to life. Hence, when lackluster performance promulgates disappointing outcomes for these men, they might also choose to react utilizing the same (learned) approach. I've even seen lazy guys fully voice their present day fateful circumstances as a derivative of "what they grew up seeing dad do".
Tied somewhat to this justification is the aforementioned maverick identity. Which besides being unorthodox and independently-minded is also usually very narrowly focused. In other words, some of these men are absolutely not multi-taskers to any degree (which, come to think of it, is the case for a lot of guys). And as a result, distraction (of any sort) can be a huge issue / opportunity for them to waste precious, needful time for tasks / prep work.
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Rob's story is quite unorthodox, and there's no doubt I'm independently-minded. Especially considering my personal stance regarding same-sex attraction. And maybe this is why I was seen as such a worthwhile platonic fit for the underachievers whom came into my life. Rob, the maverick? Perhaps.
But, oh my goodness, how I loathed to see the missed opportunities and low bar approach within their lives!
Observing potential that's wasted on needless, mind-numbing drivel is really hard to stomach. Therefore, when these relationships do end, there's often a bittersweet result. Yet, God continues to work. Even at times supernaturally reconstructing what imploded before.
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