Just a few quarters after we mortgaged our abode (back in 2000), a 2-bedroom single family home was constructed directly across the street. A newlywed couple soon mortgaged it, and we looked on with interest as their first years of marriage (& homeownership) unfolded before our eyes.
And then one evening I took note of her stacking his clothes up in sizable piles in the garage.
She'd left them on their hangers, and I wondered aloud as to why she was disrespecting his wardrobe as such. It was shocking though also telling.
Angie and I both had noticed that she was now obviously living there alone, but we assumed her husband had been called away due to his vocation (physician) for an extended period of time.
Barbara (the young wife) was pregnant then with their first child, and we knew that she herself had been reared in a broken home by divorced parents. All of this, along with our own neighborly concern, hung heavily over our heads as we wondered what the future might hold for their family.
Eventually, the truth came out. The young husband had been unfaithful, having chosen to commit adultery with the wife of another couple (whom they both were very friendly towards at the time), and this woman just happened to be considerably older than he was.
Once he came by to collect his clothing - at some unbeknownst hour to us, out of their garage, we never saw him living there with her again. And eventually within the divorce proceedings, she was granted the house and all the remaining belongings therein.
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Angie has always had a rapid heartbeat. She'd often times tell me about it beating wildly in her chest, so much so, in fact, that it would at times wake her up at night. Apparently, unbeknownst to us, rapid heartbeat - as a chronic condition - can be an instigator of strokes. I always chalked this cardiovascular condition to her general anxiety disorder, and perhaps they're linked in some way, but I'd no clue the condition itself could increase one's chances of stroke. We learned this from her heart doctor (who she began to see post-stroke).
Speaking of stroke, particularly her stroke, Angie also took a devastating spill (fall) back in January '20 on our driveway whilst attempting to navigate a tight spot between my car and the driveway's perimeter hedge. This fall resulted in her severely bruising her left arm - from her shoulder down to her wrist. For she literally fell to the concrete on her arm with the full weight of her body behind it.
Her doctors discount the aforementioned fall having anything to do with her May 29, 2020 stroke, but none of those physicians treated her for that. Hence, their understanding of the severity of her injury is conceptual at best. Instead, she went to the chiropractor and had the appendage x-rayed there. After determining that no bones were broken, she opted to tend to her internal bruising on her own. Eventually, due to her arm being in a sling for so many weeks, her shoulder joint froze up. Interestingly enough, she'd actually chosen to sleep on the couch the evening prior to waking up on (5/29) with stroke-like symptoms (numbness in her left foot). She did so to sleep more comfortably, taking her left arm injuries into consideration.
Stroke patients are at risk for having additional strokes. It's the nature of the neurological disease. But will my wife experience another one someday, and if so, how severe might it be?
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When we moved to Cleveland, MS in the fall of 2012, we did not sell our abode at the Reservoir. Instead, we were fortunate to be given the opportunity to lease it to a semi-retired couple who we'd known for many years. When I was fired from my position at Delta State University in 2013, we immediately moved back to Jackson, returning our belongings to this home and settling back in.
Because our stint in the Mississippi Delta was so short, and we were afforded the opportunity to move back into our same 12-year old (now 13-year old) home, it seemed to our (then small) children (at least) almost as if we never really left.
Another couple from our church, Lakeside Presbyterian, had also moved away in order for the patriarch to take another position during that (almost exact) same time period. And this couple was almost identical in age to Angie and I with also three small children. The only difference was they sold their home here in Metro Jackson and mortgaged another within their new location (in AL).
Unfortunately though, he lost his job too (again, right about the time I was fired from mine), and they were then left with a home to sell in AL and nowhere to return to easily back here (which is where she at least wanted to be).
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The house across the street from us is occupied today by Barbara's mom; she rents it from her, and she will likely retire there.
Barbara's first child is now on the precipice of attending college, just as our first child is, therefore all that I described above that happened between her and her first husband (her daughter's father) occurred many moons ago. Barbara's daughter also now has a younger brother whose biological father is her stepfather.
To summarize, Barbara proceeded with a "take no prisoners" approach all those years ago to handling her first husband's infidelity, and both Angie and I believe that her divorced mother likely encouraged that mindset.
This approach definitively removed any chances of her being cheated on by her first husband ever again. Their divorce protected her from that occurrence repeating itself.
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A major blow - both emotionally and monetarily - would occur to our clan if my sweet Angie were to die - of another stroke or otherwise. Because of the latter descriptor, I've always had her insured via a life insurance policy. But, that policy is not permanent. In fact, it will term in 2023. Therefore, at that time, she'll be sans life insurance unless we're able to acquire a replacement policy.
Now, there are other options to that. Such as converting her current policy to some form of permanent life insurance (generally a very costly solution). And I've wondered about doing that. In fact, I have her current inforce life policy annual statement on my desk at this very moment with all the necessary means of researching that further.
But what I tend to return to - here recently - is what I wrote about early on. That being her fall and all the physical suffering she endured from that arm injury somehow serving as a catalyst (perhaps coupled with the rapid heartbeat condition) for her stroke.
Therefore, I'm much more willing to risk something similar happening again (& therefore making her uninsureable), knowing what I know about her health / physical issues from farther back into the past (pre-stroke). Especially considering the now medications she's on as well as how closely she's watching her weight, tending to her diet, and exercising regularly.
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So what of our Presbyterian colleagues who found themselves within a bit of a residential quagmire immediately following the loss of the patriarch's new job?
Their financial situation grew complex quickly, and as a result, the ramifications of those complexities made a lasting impression - but especially on the matriarch.
At the present, the patriarch is living on the east coast (with the remainder of the family living in Metro Jackson), working in the same industry as he always has (for as long as we've known them), all alone. And this asinine setup wasn't the first time they put this stupidity into play. He also worked almost as far south as the Mississippi Gulf Coast, again completely separated from his wife and three beautiful children throughout the work week. And two of those beautiful children are twin boys who're now teenagers.
Keep in mind that his position within these companies wasn't as owner nor potential owner (Key Man) but employee.
Why settle for such a safe yet dysfunctional setup?
To avoid the risk of going through similar pain and suffering again.
That's what it all boils down to.
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Many of you know that I'm a Registered Representative and Investment Advisor Representative. As such, I work with people who're interested in making money while they sleep (securities). Yet, to do this, I must firstly assess their specific risk tolerance. And I do this by asking good questions, many of which are framed as hypotheticals / scenarios.
Life is not like that, yet there's no doubt that we are very much influenced by a plethora of both internal and external factors that serve to guide us relative to taking risks.
As Christians, considering certain circumstances, I would assume we're much less risk averse than your average bear.
But in certain instances, based on what I've witnessed, this is definitely not the case.
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