Recommended viewing - 2018 Samson Society Retreat - Mr. Jeff Schulte: "Get Your Heart Back"

Recommended Reading - Desiring God

 What You Need More Than Self-Confidence | Desiring God

Recommended Viewing

One of my most memorable experiences as a teen was spending time wandering around my childhood neighborhood in Madison late one very foggy night (during the late 1980s).  It was after arriving home from work at Chick-Fil-A in Northpark Mall.  Our 'hood had streetlights throughout.  The fog was so thick that even those were completely immersed / blanketed in atmospheric gloom.  It was an awesome experience to witness.  Unlike anything I'd ever seen before.  The fog visually extinguished everything, and having never seen anything like this prior (& knowing it would quickly recede in due time), I jumped at the chance to experience it firsthand while my parents were fast asleep back at our abode.

Lagniappe

Recommended Reading (W/ Commentary) - The Silent Treatment

 The Psychology of the Silent Treatment - The Atlantic

What are we to make of circumstances where men we're serving (as Silases) cease to communicate?  

The gravity of this question is dependent on the amount of time / emotional energy invested in that relationship, prior to the communication disconnect.  

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Now, after typing that last sentence, I'm going to offer this somewhat contrarian experience in turn:

Years ago, I was working out at the YMCA when a fellow church member came through the door and proceeded to do the same.  It's important to note that before his workout got underway, we acknowledged each other whilst locking eyes and smirking.  +/-30 minutes later, he proceeded to approach me and asked why he felt "some negativity between he and I".  

Keep in mind that the only interaction of any length that I'd had with this younger man was via one Samson Society meeting he attended at Lakeside Pres.  Afterwards, I attempted to schedule a meet & greet over coffee but was unsuccessful.  Hence, I backed off and sort of "returned to my side of the room" if you know what I mean.

Most men telegraph their opinion / viewpoint reflexively.  I'm not like that.  I learned as a boy how to emulate satisfaction / compliance without every truly having my heart in it.  Call it a silent rebellion.  In spite of that, there are times when empathic men (like the aforementioned church member) have the subtlety to sniff this out.  Kudos to them.  

Nonetheless, I was so taken aback by this guy's boldness there in the gym that I literally ran away screaming (inside).  I didn't know what to do frankly.  It was a brilliantly enlightening moment.  And I've admired that dude ever since.

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Now, back to more traditional situations.  Situations involving friendships that have endured for at least one year.  

In general, men expect other men to never whine / complain about communication details / protocols.  That being frequency / mode, etc.  I've found that there's sort of an unwritten rule regarding this.  Nevertheless, it's important that you know the following:  Your needs come first whilst participating in Samson Society, therefore if you're interested in "properly training" your Silee (regarding your needs), let him know where he can improve in this regard (well in advance of him having the opportunity to enact "The Silent Treatment").  Now, as you've probably picked up on here, I'm alluding to your relationship with your Silee being more than just a textbook one-way relationship.  And I would argue that very few stay for long as textbook one-way relationships due to the commitment required and the subject matter discussed.

Sorry about me chasing that particular rabbit there, but I think it's important to punctuate the importance of open communication between a Silas / Silee, even when the subject matter is communication analysis based on effectiveness / needs.  And again, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of staying grounded in the recognition of your personal needs as a Samson guy. 

Now back to the original question posed.

What are we to make of circumstances where men we're serving (as Silases) cease to communicate?

Circumstantially, I've found that when this occurs, I often feel relieved but also sad.  For it frees up resources to be utilized elsewhere.  And I know that sounds cold.  But you have to realize as a loner, I simply never have committed a heaping portion of my heart to anyone else.  Even when it comes to Samson guys.  Now, I have struggled with abandonment anxiety in the past, but I'm currently (by God's grace) over that terrible fear.  

As followers of Christ, we're to have our primary relationship with our Savior via prayer, Bible study, and self-examination.  You may roll your eyes at the notion of comparing that with Earthly relationships, but it's the truth.  And it is an absolutely relevant fact.

Take death, for example.  Comrades, many of which we love dearly, will someday die.  Even those who're as close as brothers.  Jesus has already died and risen from the grave on our behalf.  He's with us 24/7/365 via the gift of the Holy Spirit's presence within our lives.  This makes us Christians exceedingly fortunate in the relationship department.

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So, what are we to do as Christians in response to relational silence?

Pray for that individual.  Pray for the friendship.  Thank God for what's come before.  Reminiscence.

But do steer clear of nagging them or reacting to the silence with alarm.  If you can trust God with your own heart / life, there's no reason to belief you can't trust him with someone else's.  He's just as interested in their shit as he is your own, and as such, there are times when they're better off taking an extended break from you.

Recommended Reading - The Silent Celebration Of The Atypical

 Why some people are secretly dreading the end of quarantine (msn.com)

We're So Fortunate That Our Metro Jackson Samson Society Groups Have Not Only Survived The Quarantine But Are Thriving

 Life After Quarantine? Sounds Terrifying | Glamour

Recommended Reading - Desiring God

 Holiness Begins in Intimacy with Jesus | Desiring God

The Ear + Nose Hair Plateau / Rob, The Appreciating Asset

We mortgaged our Rankin county "garden home" abode (it was a never lived-in speculative home) back in late 2000.  As such, starting during the fall of 2019, we began investing in replacing / renovating the building's envelope.  In architect-speak that refers to the exterior - mostly.

Our home is (thankfully) around the average size of an American home back in the early 1970s, but despite that, it was still quite a monetary feat replacing the roof, repainting the trim, staining the front door, replacing the HVAC system, and adding insulation to the attic (along with new "catwalk" subflooring).  Not to mention replacing some interior light and plumbing fixtures (purely aesthetics).  

Our abode resides within a 'hood of 81 lots, and every home is jammed up against the other, therefore if one home looks unkempt, it disparages numerous adjacencies.  Therefore, also being privy to this, we invested accordingly, and everyone benefitted.

On the flip side of this approach are automobiles.  As a depreciating asset, there's no sense in having a car repainted or replacing the seats / dash with OEM parts once they've reached a certain lifespan.  Cars have a certain shelf life and then they're replaced outright as their depreciation reaches its forgone conclusion.

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I'm 48, and at some point during my 40s, I began to grow long, black hairs from both within my ear canals and out of my ear lobes.  As I've aged, they've become more numerous.  To the point of having to have my 10-year old pluck them out once a month or so (if not more often).

I do not want hairy ears.  For I remember distinctly seeing a man at First Baptist Church Jackson (the church I grew up in) as a child who had such the bush of hair growing out of his ears that I literally would freeze in my tracks whilst bumping into him.  It was like someone had put a curse on him.  An ear hair curse.  And it was tragic.  For the thickness and quantity of hair was such that you literally could not see the man's ear canal.  

Now, when it comes to my nose, hairs of this same ilk grow verbosely from there as well.  And as such, do know that I don't ask my 10-year old to pluck those out, but I do have to tend to these as well - on my own - quite often.  And man, it freaking hurts extracting those from deep within my sizably proportioned proboscis.  (Thanks be to God for tweezers.)

But all this weirdmo hairiness comes with age.  And I'm okay with that.

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I'm feeling compelled to make a concerted effort to start (again) marketing the Metro Jackson Samson Society groups now that the pandemic is beginning to subside.  As such, last night I was provoked to do so by reaching out to our local Christian colleges.  Specifically to the Dean(s) of Students.  

Yet, I'm a bit flippant to invest in this endeavor because I remember so vividly what it was like being a non ear / hairy-nosed man.  Especially one who's on a collegiate track.  

I was so cocky as a young man and full of myself.  My Mississippi childhood had more or less been idyllic, and as such, my naivety was off the charts.  I was essentially a spoiled brat only child who'd been educated at a private academy, put in mega-church every Sunday, and fed three wonderful meals a day by one-marriage parents who neither smoked nor drank nor cussed nor had criminal records.  Our suburban (Madison) home / yard always looked like Martha Stewart lived there, therefore our neighbors suspected we were perfect.  

We even had a black Labrador retriever named "Lil Gal" when I was young, and she was so sweet.

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There's a young, newlywed couple that reside on the street "behind" us who've been living there for a few years.  They're both professionals who're currently expecting their first child.  I see them walking around our 'hood fairly regularly with their beautiful golden retriever.  Yet, just as I experienced last night, when I'm driving into our 'hood and I see him - especially - there alongside his wife, I simply want to veer the car towards him and [gently] mow him down.  Not to kill him.  Only to scare / frighten.  

So last night, as my middle - driver's permit - daughter was driving us home from piano lessons, this opportunity to maim him presented itself.  And I badly wanted to instruct my daughter to do this, yet it would have traumatized her too much - don't you think?

This young man whom I'd like to maim / traumatize is Rob made over.  Cocky.  We've interacted on numerous occasions, and it's literally like looking backwards into a mirror each and every time.  

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So, where does this no ear / nose hair cockiness originate from?  

I think it's a combination of things that bring it to the surface.  

One is simply fear.  Fear of the future / unknown.  Another is a sense of accomplishment.  The fact that you're married or a father or have a mortgage or a "good" job / professional license.  All of these things are milestones that do present an opportunity for our young man identities to rest upon.  The former though is usually cloaked / concealed by cockiness / arrogance.

There's also the sex during our younger man years.  Most younger guys have strong libidos, and as such can see themselves as loverboys to their partners (either men or women or both).  I can remember experiencing hypervigilant erections out the wazoo as a younger man.  And so often these would simply appear out of nowhere, or I'd wake up with one.  It was as if my dick was simply begging to be pleasured (which I willingly obliged).

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I love my ear / nose hair.  Why?  Because it represents where I'm at as a middle-aged man.  There's no amount of money someone could give me to return to my younger man years.  It wouldn't be worth it.  To lose all of the knowledge / experience.  To forgo the suffering and trauma.  To not have the opportunity to reap the rewards of painstakingly renovating / restoring so much of my envelope - with my Heavenly Father's resources.  

So, I will do my part and reach out to Belhaven and Mississippi College regarding the availability of our Metro Jackson Samson Society groups, and I'll do so with a subtle grin.  Knowing what I know now about where these young Christian men are at.  For I've lived it myself.  

Please pray for me regarding both the execution and potential harvest via this endeavor.  For this is new territory for Rob.

Tuesday Lagniappe

Craving Beauty - Where To Turn When Naked People Having Sex (Internet Porn) Is Off-Limits To Your Eyeballs

If you only see smut as simply wretchedness whose sole purpose is to usher your mind towards the fires of hell, you're over simplifying.

Sex was created by God, and this is not in Satan's best interest for us to remember.

Man / woman was created by God as image bearers of God himself, and this too is not in Satan's best interest for us to remember.

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One of the primary similarities between my Silas and I is our tendency to gravitate towards high-caliber beauty.  And taking the purview of Samson Society into consideration, this primarily (for our contextual purposes) pertains to smut.  Therefore, for he and I, we're likely going to be far more interested in top-tier sources of smut than anything minutely smitten with the aroma of homebrew, naked-people-next-door porn.

Why is this?

Because we're super intelligent, sophisticated gents.  That's why.

No.  I'm only kidding.  It's just the way we're wired.  But it's cool nonetheless, having this similarity.

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Last week, the Turners spent our Spring Break in Sandestin, FL.  We've had the good fortune of visiting there many times in the past, but what was different this time around was our exact condo location relative to the beach.  Due to last week's adjacency to the white sands, we spent more time than ever before either in the crystal clear Gulf waters or enjoying the sugary sand.  The weather was stellar for March, and overall, it was a wonderful vacation. 

As an aside, as you know, I'm an architect.  And I'm also an automobile aficionado.  It's important that you know that going forward.

For a number of years now, I've admired a beachfront condominium in Destin that truly is an architectural landmark.  It's a standout for sure relative to the daring design language used.  Plus, it also has retro appeal - to a degree, though the design is so strong that the building really cannot be pigeonholed as simply "retro".

This multi-story condominium building looks unlike anything in Destin / Fort Walton.  And this is due to the daring design which had to have pushed the budget far beyond its milquetoast context (row after row of ubiquitous multi-story condominium buildings).

Taking that into consideration, one of the first things I took note of from our tenth floor Sandestin condominium balcony view was the profile of this architectural gem in the far distance - looking westward down the beach.  It was a ways away, but indisputable.  And this excited me greatly.

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Immediately upon our return to the Jackson Metro after my job loss from Delta State University (for breaking the institution's IT policy), I made an appointment to see a therapist who I'd heard speak a number of times at local gatherings of men.  These few sessions with him started in late '13 and ended sometime in early '14 (he wasn't a good fit for Rob).  Nonetheless, one of his insights in hearing my story consisted of me needing a creative outlet to counterbalance working at my family's insurance / financial services business.  He was obviously taking my background in architecture into account, and this was no doubt low hanging fruit for him to consider / throw out.

What he failed to realize though is just how much Internet porn I consumed whilst working within local architecture firms - day after day after day - for hours on end.  And mostly the same type of material.  As if I truly had a bottomless pit within my mind for these strikingly beautiful images / videos.  

It was almost as if simply working within a very creative industry amplified my craving for this smut.

Isn't that weird?  Or maybe it isn't.  Maybe it's reality.  For I knew of a number of other creative types who were similarly "right brain moonlighting" just as I was there on my employer's dime.

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So, as you might have guessed, I did make my way down to the Edgewater Condominium building, following the beach due west to my destination.  It was a somewhat distant journey, trudging through the sand, but well worth it - both times.  In fact, the second time I paid the actual building an exploratory visit by walking right into the lobby, making my way upwards in order to walk some of the perimeter corridors along the west elevation.  From there, it was simple to understand the floor plan.  And I loved what I was experiencing.  It was inspiring and so very beautifully executed.  Hence, my appreciation for this gem was furthered along exponentially, and these steal aways became Rob's trip highlights.

As an architect experiencing a new building like this one (that's not a design commodity), it's akin to reading a few select chapters from a fellow author's novel - with great intent and respect - versus flipping through someone's mass produced romance story out of boredom.

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Did any of you take any of those "appreciation" classes in college in order to obtain an easy credit or two?  I distinctly remember one of these being offered within the School of Architecture, and as you might imagine, it was NOT AT ALL part of the architecture students' (mine) curriculum track.

Looking at high production images of beautiful naked people having sex is akin to a sexuality curriculum.  A curriculum that's laser focused on a topic that I'm so not fluent in yet want very much to be degreed in.  

But, this methodology, though so very convenient and culturally relevant, isn't an option for me any longer.  Too many people get hurt on the other side of the camera lens.  Plus, I waste too much time consuming imagery that regales sinful behavior.  And sinful behavior I'm called to avoid as a Christian.  No matter how alluring.  Beautiful.  Compelling.  

But it's freaking hard.  Even today, I could so easily jump right back in.  Jesus help me to resist by turning my attention to other sources of beauty / inspiration.  Sources that make a positive impact on my psyche.

Recommended Reading - The Gospel Coalition

 Satan’s Purposes in Your Suffering (thegospelcoalition.org)

Better Off Without (Long-Term) Samson Society Involvement?

Yesterday, during the Lakeside Pres' Samson Society after-meeting, a fellow Samson guy who's been involved for almost as long as I (here in the Jackson Metro), asked about another "oldie" who he remembered I'd befriended soon after this man's arrival "on the scene" of the First Baptist Church Samson Society meeting back in '14.  

Instantly, I vividly recalled my last conversation with that man.  And from there, I explained over breakfast that this guy haven't (during our last conversation) expected me to ask of him to chronicle (via a blog post) his experience being involved in this ministry for +/-3 hard fought years (before his eventual discreet exit).  Instead, I suppose, in me reaching out to him, he was looking for a segue from Samson Society vernacular to whatever he felt might come next between the two of us as friends.  And this despite the fact that we're geographically separated by quite some distance.

Many guys involve themselves in this ministry whilst holding their noses.  These men look down on their involvement in Samson Society instead of seeing it as a privilege.  Yet, they're committed to it - at least for a season.  The "oldie" Samson guy that I referenced above stuck with it for a few years, driving to Jackson each Wednesday in order to be on time for the 6 PM meeting at First Baptist Church Jackson.  Eventually though, he quit coming until +/-1 year later when he involved himself in some additional stupid behavior.  And that, in turn, landed him back in the same Samson Society meeting - for another short stint.  

And then, he was gone for good.  As such, I'm willing to bet a dollar that he's not once mentioned / endorsed this ministry to anyone ever.

From there, a few years later is when I reached out to him as I mentioned above, asking him to do some chronicling (of his journey along the Samson Society The Path) for me.  But, his reaction was less than reciprocal, to say the least.  Yet, the root of that reaction harkened back to his approach to the ministry itself.

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How I would love to know how many men fall into the same category as this Samson guy.  Men who truly experience a love / hate relationship with this ministry.  Love it for what happens to and for me.  Hate it that it exposes, metastasizes my needs via communal opportunity (meetings).  

I know this particular "oldie" was an esteemed professional, and he was well positioned to advance quickly (had he not involved himself in mucho stupid).  As such, his vocational ambition was only rivaled by his penchant for seducing (& eventually bedding) beautiful women.  And man oh man, was he good at seduction.

Most men within our Metro Jackson Samson Society are not of this ilk.  Now, I'm saying most, not all.

Samson Society is filled with men who're fucked up.  Broken.  And so forth.  And we know it - through and through.

We're not the best and brightest.  Bronzed children, for sure, if you catch my drift.

And this is a turn off to a lot of (mainly white) guys.  

But for the rest of us, it feels like home.  Especially here in Mississippi where there's just an awful lot of less than stellar.

Jesus' disciples would have fit right in within any one of our five Metro Jackson Samson Society groups.  Do keep that in mind the next time you may feel so inclined to bittersweetly elucidate with us.

In closing, Samson Society as a ministry is not for everyone, but it is a ministry that is well positioned for many, many more than those of us who do choose to participate.  Please consider joining us today.

This Is Amazing, Awesome, & Wonderful. The Rescuing Power Of Friendship Between Men - Recommended Reading

 As a 9-year-old, she was saved at sea. Thirty-five years later, she reunited with her rescuers (yahoo.com)

The No Bull Briefing Newsletter - March 2021

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING NEWSLETTER - March 2021

Time to Crank Up the In-person Meetings! Okay, can we all agree, this Covid thing has been a long haul? But there is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not another trainwreck coming. Many states are opening up, and more churches are as well. If you can safely restart your in-person meetings, according to local guidelines, go for it. When you do, please make sure your meeting is registered on the website and the members are listed, that way everyone in your group will get this e-newsletter. If you've never been in an in-person meeting and you're thinking you'd like to - start one! Just find a location, register your group on the home page so it can be found, spread the word, and then simply print off the meeting script on the website resources page. Simple as that. For further assistance and helpful tips, email Tom Moucka. 300th Pirate Monk Podcast We're celebrating the 300th episode of the Pirate Monk Podcast and we're making it all about YOU. Send your questions,  comments, and fond memories of the guys and the show, past, present, and future to: piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com. Or post on Slack at #podca_chat. We'll be recording the special episode in a couple weeks. Path Step Four by Andrew The Path Step Four: Encouraged by my Silas and others, I develop the daily disciplines of prayer, study and self-examination. I abandon self-help, asking God instead to do for me what I cannot do for myself. In a meeting today we discussed the part of the path about developing the daily discipline of prayer, study, and self-examination. I had a thought right at the end of the discussion which I didn't get a chance to share, so I thought I'd share here. I've realized that acting out on my addiction requires the daily disciplines of lying, manipulating, and isolating (to name a few). It takes incredible work and practiced discipline in order to orchestrate all the details that need to be in place in order for me to look at porn and/or masturbate comfortably and away from my spouse and kids - especially if they're in the house. Finding ways to do it on a regular basis, stuffing plans in the back of my mind so that even I don't believe they're there, and then piously and convincingly confessing to my wife that it was a surprise all take incredibly precise effort, one day at a time. Practicing prayer, study, and self-examination - all with the encouragement of a Silas and friends - is the exact opposite of the disciplines I learned and practiced for the 2 decades I was in addiction. With the help of others and a Silas, I hope to be as precise in those disciplines of recovery as I once was with my disciplines of addiction. And it's working for me. It's amazing how my halting, stuttering attempts at these new disciplines defeat the optimized precision of my old disciplines. God is in these disciplines. He magnifies them into more than my own efforts and helps me grow, one step at a time, on the path of recovery. (edited) Thanks for sharing Andrew. July 5th       is Silas Appreciation Day Samson Society is all about connection, and the most valued connection within the society is the Silas relationship. In the Path, we are reminded in the second step, "I start attending meetings of the society, and from its members, I select a Silas, a trustworthy traveling companion for this stretch of the road." Well, it's high time we celebrate those trustworthy traveling companions! This summer, on July 5th, we are going to honor all Silases everywhere. Put it on your calendar. Plan a special something with your Silas on that date, send him an email if you can't get together, and between now and then, keep an eye out for more on this in the NBB and our Slack channels. Helpful Quote "Never make a statement when a question will do." - Greg Koukl   Very helpful advice for a Silas ... thanks Shawn P. for the tip. Please consider this Samson Society doesn't have dues or fees, but we DO have expenses. We currently reach men in over 40 countries and we are stretched thin financially. If you can make a one-time or monthly contribution, that will help us continue to do what we do so well ... "rescue families by helping men live in the freedom of authenticity." You can make your contribution to the mission of Samson Society through Samson House HERE. Thank you!

SUPPORT@SAMSONSOCIETY.COM WWW.SAMSONSOCIETY.COM

Recommended Reading - Thank God For Mormons

 Utah campaign against porn marches on with phone filter plan (apnews.com)

Brave Man Here - Recommended Reading

 Why Tyler Hubbard Thinks a Healthy Sex Life Is "Crucial" To Parenting - E! Online

I have no idea who this celebrity is, but he's one brave dude (father / husband) to have the guts to be this authentic.

Every man / every marriage is unique, and most men certainly aren't settled / at peace enough internally to talk specifics about their sexual needs to anyone much less the entire Internet.  

So many celebrities have no intentions of ever dialoguing about their actual sexual needs, not even in jest.  Whether they're married or not.  And partly, this is to stoke their fanbase, leaving them to their own imagined devices relative to the sexuality of their idols.

Some husbands, like Mr. Hubbard, genuinely need consistent intercourse with their wives as a means of affirmation.  This is a fact.

Life’s Footprints: Evanescent or Indelible?

Happy Friday, everyone! Today's post features something I wrote on my own personal blog back in 2014. I grabbed it and posted it here to share. I added an addendum at the end as a sort of 2021 update.   

Footprints in the Sand

“One’s options in this world are as vast as the horizon, which is technically a circle and thus infinitely broad. Yet we must choose each step we take with utmost caution, for the footprints we leave behind are as important as the path we will follow. They’re part of the same journey — our story.”

― Lori R. Lopez

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“I think that’s what we all want, in the end.
To know that we left footprints when we passed by, however briefly.
We want to be remembered.
So remember us.
Please.
Remember us.”

― Mike A. Lancaster

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Your way was through the sea,

your path through the great waters;

yet your footprints were unseen.

~Psalm 77:19 (ESV)

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Evanescent Footprints

                Life is a journey, and the footprints that we leave behind are interesting things.  Each footprint is different, and there are no two that are alike.  Wherever we go, we leave footprints behind us.  Some people leave big footprints, and some leave small footprints.  There are others who leave wide footprints, and those who leave narrow ones.  Sometimes the footprints we leave are evanescent, quickly fading, just as the footprints left in the sand are soon erased away by time and the force of the waves.

Some footprints are long-lasting.  Those are the kind of footprints that people should be striving to achieve.  The home we currently live in is an older one, but it is special because it’s the first home we’ve owned.  The subdivision where our home resides was developed in the mid to late 1970’s, making our home nearly 40 years old.  Besides having a wide and inviting front porch to relax on, the hominess of this house beckoned us to it when we first found it four years ago.  In a way, our home is unique because we purchased it from the original owners who had it built many years ago.  Although the house had sat empty for quite some time when we first looked at it, there was a sense of love and belonging that permeated the walls, and we could feel it when we first walked in the door.  In fact, when we first looked at the home, I almost imagined that I could hear the voices of the family who lived, loved, and laughed in the home for more than 32 years before we bought it.  It was a house that was well-loved and continues to be loved by us.

Footprints on Sidewalk in Front of my House

When the neighborhood was developed, sidewalks were planned and built up and down every street in the neighborhood for pedestrians to use.  One can travel to any part of the neighborhood using these sidewalks.  On the side of our home facing the driveway, we noticed that there were tiny little footprints of a long-gone child permanently embedded into the sidewalk.  My wife and I thought that these footprints were just about the coolest thing we’d ever seen, and I often found myself wondering how these footprints had come to be in the sidewalk, and who had made them.  Two of my neighbors directly across the street have been here since the neighborhood’s inception in the 1970’s.  One day I happened to be outside when one of my neighbors was walking her dog, and I just so happened to think about asking her if she knew the story of the footprints.  She indeed knew how the footprints came to be and proceeded to tell me the story of a little boy who had grown up in the neighborhood many years before. This little boy apparently lived in the house next to mine when they were pouring the sidewalk.  She told me that before anyone could stop him, he pulled his shoes off and walked through the freshly poured cement, forever immortalizing the prints of his tiny feet.  My guess is that they either didn’t catch the fruits of his labor before the cement dried, or they thought it was cute and left it as it was.  I suppose his mother was not amused at all on that day many years ago to find out that her child had cement all over his feet.  The footprints don’t go far.  They actually start a short distance up from my house and then terminate almost directly in front of my driveway.  But they’re still there nearly 40 years later and they tell the journey of a small boy who one day took a walk down the sidewalk.

Footprints made in the sidewalk by a little boy nearly 40 years ago

Even though the mystery of the footprints has been solved, I have often wondered about that little boy.  Where did he go when he moved, and whatever ended up happening to him?  What did he grow up to become?  Does he remember the footprints he once left in my sidewalk, and has he ever returned to see them?  You see, whether he knew it or not, he was destined to leave permanent footprints on that fateful day when he decided to go for a stroll in the freshly poured cement of the sidewalk.  These are footprints that can still clearly be seen nearly 40 years later, and they cause people to stop and ponder where they came from.

The evanescence of footprints left in the sand poses a stark contrast to the enduring footprints of those left in the stone.  In our lives, we leave many footprints.  Everywhere we go we leave footprints.  These footprints tell the journey from whence we have come and to whither we go.  They tell the story of what we have done and of what we have achieved.  We also leave footprints in the lives of people.  In the scope of eternity, our time here on earth amounts to the mere blink of an eye. We are so small and so immortal. Our time is short in the grand scheme of things. But like the footprints left by the child in the newly built sidewalk many years ago, the footprints we leave in the lives of people should be long-lasting.  After you have left your footprints behind, you may never return to see them again.  If you have left footprints that are indelible, they will no doubt be felt and seen by many for generations to come.

In conclusion, life is too short for us to be concerned with those things that are of transient nature.  Whether it is the relationships that you form with others or the things that you choose to occupy your time with, let your mark be seen and felt.  In my own life, I am grateful for those who have invested in me and left permanent footprints in my life.  Some of them are no longer here, but their footprints continue to be seen and felt by me.  May your footprints be forever and a day, and may they leave a lasting mark in the lives of all those you will meet.

[2020 Addendum] - We are still here, living in the same house. It is a small, modest house, but it is home and it's where we chose to stay and raise our son. Several of our friends have since bought their second or third house and I'll be honest - we have considered doing the same several times. But this is home, and we just don't feel motivated to move. It's a house that was filled with so much life when we bought it, and we have continued to pour so much life into it as well. 

Sadly, we lost Mrs. Woods last year. She was a wonderful, sweet lady who loved everyone and looked out for all her neighbors. Very few original owners remain in the neighborhood, and no one else would know the history of those footprints. She knew everything, it seems. I'm extremely grateful I thought about asking her the history of the footprints one day several years ago. 

Those footprints are now over 45 years old. You can still see them, and I love them more than ever. They are truly indelible footprints.

So many people have come and gone in my life over the past ten years. Many of them, I still think of fondly from time to time and their footprints bring a smile to my face. Some, those footprints will fade over time, the victim of being washed away by the waves of time. But others will remain imprinted on me for as long as I live. I must ask myself: "What kind of footprints am I leaving?"

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”

― Flavia Weedn

~ S