Home (Hell) Economics (To The NO)

I was describing to a Samson brother my life growing up as it pertained to my mother's role within our abode.  Before I go there, you must know the ranch house the Turners resided in was modest but typical for the '70s (when it was constructed) in that the lot was sizable.  Hence, it was plenty big for team sports (which there were none), tons of landscaping (which there were plenty & room for more), dog pen (there was one), fruit trees (a few), etc.  You have to remember, dear reader, that social media didn't exist back then, therefore we weren't all just sitting around staring at our pocket computers all day - inside our house.  Obviously, the yard served us well for at least nine months out of the year.

My mother was not only the professional home / yard economist but also the decorator / designer.  It was like living with Martha Stewart but without the college degree (or the millions in personal net worth).  Refined, by Mississippi standards, is how I like to think of Darlene back in the '80s (during my childhood).  She was, at the time, in her late 20s.

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Wives who don't Darlene their abodes are normal.

It took me awhile to realize this, but after just a few short months of being married to my sweet Angie, she effectively beat / threatened it in to me.

The majority of men are really only interested in sex within the home.  And this is because they're men.  For a guy who's made a commitment to marriage, he feels entitled to it.  And on his watch, thank you very much.

So this presents a quagmire.  Who's to keep up the home if the husband / wife / children who reside within have no focus there?

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A little background on my 'rents before I go any further.  My mother grew up in poverty in rural northwest Mississippi.  And when I say rural, I'm referring to - out in the middle of a soybean / cotton field rural - with only a dirt road between the house and nearest highway.

My father grew up not far from that spot, but within the nearest small town (population:  +/-1,500).  The household he grew up in had maids and cooks.  Most of which were men.  These blacks did everything for my father and his 3 brothers, and they didn't leave the house at night 'till the children were asleep in bed.  Essentially, they were indentured servants from the standpoint that were they to fall down on the job, the only other work available to them was out of doors in the Mississippi heat / humidity amongst the laborers within the fields.  My grandmother, when she was present, issued the orders relative to housework, yard maintenance, cooking.  She was excellent at being a hyper critical authoritarian.  Believe me, it was her gift.

So...you put two teenagers together like these two, being reared in these very distinct but dynamically different environments, and you end up with the household I was reared within.

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Now back to answering my question.

The men ought to take the lead here.  You're more physically capable.  Plus, you're the head of the household.

Now, does that mean he's responsible for everything?  No.  But, he should be responsible for the tough items that no one else really wants to handle or can handle with aplomb.

And why is this?

Taking care of your home is a perfect analogy to being involved in Samson Society (when Samson Society hasn't become a social club for you).  It's quality work that gives back over the course of week.  You attend a meeting, stay in touch with your Silas, and your week / marriage is better for it.

Do you want to admit to anyone that you've just spent a couple of hours engaged in housework - vacuuming / mopping, cleaning out toilets, sorting / washing / drying / folding laundry, loading / unloading the dishwasher, dusting, cleaning out the garage, taking out the trash?  No.

Do you want to admit to anyone that you're committed to an organization like Samson Society - its weekly meetings and The Path?  Probably not, unless they're a close friend or perhaps someone you feel compelled to invite.

But if you'll take the lead within your household, hopefully you'll find some help will lovingly fall in line as a result.  Again, not unlike doing the work within Samson Society.  I just feel it's a valid analogy.

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Do you recall a couple of years back, the mainstream S & M films made from cheap, online erotica novels?  I believe they were titled 50 Shades...

The books / films were modeled around the notion that a woman could become romantically captivated to a man who insisted she sign a relationship contract with him.  From what little I know, the contract stipulated the terms of their relationship, and him being the framer of said contract, of course, it was biased towards him, his needs / desires, etc.

It's an age old idea (that's rooted unfortunately in the not so distant past).  Wives as property.  No different than any other asset on the Balance Sheet.

What's not at all surprising is that these books / films were consumed in droves by none other than modern day women.

Of course, it didn't help matters that the protagonists was a self-made billionaire, but I digress.

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So men, do the work.  Set the standard.  Lead by serving your wives well.  Mr. Clean isn't just a fine example of marketing genius, but a secret weapon of many a husband who's itching to bed his gratititous wife.

And keep coming to Samson Society meetings (& communicating with your Silas).  The example you set is just as effective at fostering change / maturity as the work that you're choosing to prioritize.