I recently read an interesting (at least to me) statistic. Individuals who sport tattoos are more likely to be involved in more casual sex than those of us who are ink-free.
The mainstreaming of tattoos over the past decade has left me awestruck. Literally. It's especially noticeable whilst working out at the Y / swimming at the pool, beach. Hence, my interest in that stat.
I really enjoy talking / writing about sex, but I've only had sex with one other human being. Angie. I joke around with Samson men that a healthy marriage bed is one where intercourse occurs nightly, but in actuality, that's completely unrealistic.
On the first day of my second job at a local architecture firm, one of my bosses kindly took me on a first-day, "welcome to the fold" lunch. A number of colleagues accompanied us, and one in particular made the comment to me that year one (and two) of marriage sex should be tracked as follows: Put an empty jar on the nightstand, immediately following the honeymoon, adjacent to the marriage bed, and drop a toothpick into it symbolically each time intercourse occurs throughout year one. Conversely, remove a toothpick during year two after exhaling via marriage sex satisfaction.
In summary, he stated that you'll never remove all of the toothpicks within year two that you put into the jar during year one due to the fact that the frequency of marriage sex inevitably declines.
This truth unfortunately can serve as fuel for casual sex, which in the case of an existing marriage, qualifies as adultery.
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So, what is casual sex?
It's sexual activity that's outside of God's will. But here, I'm referring exclusively to that which occurs physically (not simply within fantasy).
I've had one friend over the years who embraced casual sex as routine. He was married, but his marriage bed was only (during that season) used for sleeping. I remember being shocked at how persistent he was at seduction and nonchalant relative to the physical outcomes. He lived far, far away from Mississippi, therefore I felt at ease knowing our friendship was only cultivatable electronically.
There were two things that stayed with me (which he shared openly) regarding his experiences with casual sex.
1. Casual sex is often nothing more than pity sex.
Pity sex is close in line to engaging with a prostitute. It's more of a transaction than anything else. Terribly, terribly cheap.
2. Casual sex involves 2 distinct individuals, both of which have expectations regarding the sexual experience.
Again, think of it more as a transaction, not unlike a cross pollinating prostitution experience, but more often than not, both sexual expectations aren't equally met. In other words, someone gets the short end of the stick.
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Our culture, especially fueled by video entertainment, equates casual sexual experiences as altogether healthy / helpful to humanity, and therefore through this myth, we're tricked into believing what we see onscreen. This hedonistic pursuit of sexual activity that puts horniness in the same category as hungry or bored.
Do you recall the first casual sex scene (or any visual depiction of sex onscreen within a mainstream video entertainment production) you screened? It was pretty hot looking, wasn't it? Made you kind of entranced, didn't it? And, never did either item 1 or 2 listed above become realized within these productions, did it? Why?
Because reality typically sucks when it comes to casual sex and its fallout, and this is why Scripture is clear as to why it should be avoided outright.
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