When certain Samson brothers walk away from this community, no doubt, everyone can breathe a little easier. And you know exactly who I'm referring to. Those emotionally volatile guys. The ones that make great soap opera characters but not so much real friends.
And thankfully, there aren't too many of these odd-men-out within this community, but they are there. For now...
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Level-headedness (fueled by humility) is one of those guaranteed traits Christian men need to thrive, long-term, within communities like Samson Society.
But many men aren't anywhere close to level-headed much less humble. Instead, their (heated) emotions (particularly when they're tired / bored) take over. When that occurs, most everyone takes notice, especially so when it's an inappropriate response. And that's when the distancing begins in earnest.
Of course, distancing isn't an attribute found within a thriving Christian community of men.
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I witnessed this firsthand during a sophomore Spring Samson retreat (in-person Samson community) at / around Highlands, NC many years ago. One brother was always looking for an opportunity to "flare up" so long as said opportunity had one particular Samson brother's name attached to it. Think of this dynamic within the same vein as a sibling rivalry. And eventually, it got ugly between these two. And from there, everyone's point of view changed.
My naivete cloistered this incident as isolated. Boy was I ever wrong.
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Last week, I happened to fortuitously (for our 'hood) witness an adolescent hooligan drive his SUV across our 'hood's commons area (centrally located, manicured private park). This teen did this in broad daylight, and according to our HOA's landscape maintenance crew, it wasn't the first time he'd done this (they'd taken note of previous tire tracks).
Not surprisingly, the hooligan boy's parents are our 'hood's most volatile. HOA complaint letters to them immediately incite fits of rage versus level-headed dialogue / way-planning. It's akin to dealing with unstable chemical compounds (who've mortgaged property within our 'hood for well over 20-years) that may very well explode at any moment so long as they're met with the slightest criticism / complaint.
When I confronted the boy (in front of his mother right there in his parents' driveway) regarding his trespass (that I'd just witnessed), he calmly lied regarding his guilt. From there, his mother asked his son's friend (who was in the passenger seat) the same question-
"Did you two jump the curb and drive across the neighborhood park area?"
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Throughout the remainder of the late afternoon / early evening, the hooligan boy's mother kept reappearing at my home. Her demeanor was part threatening / part irony-shocked / part deer in the headlights. No doubt she'd found herself emotionally short-circuited as she made disclaimers like, "I'd rather you not call the police about this" to "Your info's in the neighborhood directory, isn't it? You know, I'll definitely be in touch."
I'd calmly explained to both her and her husband that if the commons area irrigation system was damaged due to her hooligan son's stupid (stupid is a verb), they would be responsible to pay for any and all repairs.
Talk about an egg in the face situation. And there was a part of me that hoped we'd see change as a result. Growth even.
Who am I kidding?
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